By Debra Basham, on December 11, 2019 It has been said a picture is worth a thousand words. This one certainly is:
The photo was taken at 10:14 pm on Friday, December 6, 2019. I had been so focused on the 2000 piece jigsaw puzzle I was working that I did not notice I had on one sandal and one slipper. If this sensation, look, and experience went unnoticed, what else might I be missing?
In Buddhism for Beginners, The Noble Eightfold Path, Walpola Sri Wahula lists the benefits and elements of mindfulness.
1. Right understanding
2. Right thought
3. Right speech
4. Right action
5. Right livelihood
6. Right effort
7. Right mindfulness
8. Right concentration
Approximately 90 minutes before I snapped that photo, a friend completed his transition. His wife wrote the following morning:
“I was getting ready to spend another night with him when he just went away. I had told him a short time before, again, that it would be OK if he was ready to go. Thank you for the love and prayers. He went in peace and now he is in great joy.”
Yesterday in the instruction/sharing time before meditation we had a very lively conversation about view. I am reminded of something Abraham Hicks said to a man who reported feeling like he was running out of time. The man went on to share that he did not believe in an afterlife or reincarnation. He felt that these views were a cop out.
No wonder the guy felt stress…
Take a few minutes to explore your own view via Abraham’s response to the man who said I Don’t Believe in Afterlife.
Perhaps we are in a place where it is possible to allow our intellect to enjoy right understanding. Perhaps continuity of consciousness is that right understanding. Perhaps this changes our experience of life and death.
Perhaps—just perhaps—we really do have one foot in one shoe and the other foot in another…
By Debra Basham, on November 30, 2019 How each of us views life differs slightly, but the themes of life itself are universal.
Years and years ago I studied dream interpretation with a man who had trained at the C.G. Jung Institute. One aspect of dream meaning is to notice a theme that is emerging as an initiating dream.
Three generations of women watching Life Itself, an American 2018 drama directed by Dan Fogelman which follows multiple couples over several generations, was a mixed bag. After watching it, I read that reviews were not great—calling the film “simultaneously overwrought and underwhelming.”
Well, isn’t life itself simultaneously overwrought and underwhelming?
This past week my husband and I have been staying in a house that has been the home of our daughter and son-in-law for over a decade. They are now house guests in that home. The house is now the home of our older grandson and our granddaughter-in-law. We are sharing this space with the six adults, three dogs, and two cats.
Although the house looks different, Thanksgiving Brunch was held at this HOME, and tonight this HOME will host the annual Thanksgiving weekend “Soup Night.”
I have done my regular duties of cleaning the inside of the microwave and wiping out the fridge. These are in addition to unloading the dishwasher and folding the laundry. I added polishing the outside of the toaster oven to this trip….
One of the most fascinating aspects of a home is recognizing the way a home gives those in it gifts. Of course a home comes with costs and responsibilities for those in it too.
We are grateful to have a roof over our heads. We appreciate a warm shower, and some of those in this home value a cold beer.
Not to spoil the ending, but it has a happy ending.
The final scene of the film is Elena reading from her book titled Life Itself. Elena’s dying grandmother is telling Elena’s father that although life may bring us to our knees, if we look hard enough, we will find love.
Elena concludes her story by saying how one moment shaped her entire life, and that every bit of her has some of her mother, her father, and her grandmothers.
That reminds me of the gift John made for me for Christmas in 2016: a wooden plaque with stick-on-letters: Not to spoil the ending—but everything is going to be OK.
The craftsmanship of the plaque was not professional, but the wisdom and love are palpable. The message is one of those universal truths so that plaque hangs proudly in the laundry room of our home.
Home is not just where you live. Home is also an internal state of being where you are. When life seems overwrought and underwhelming or underwrought and overwhelming, take heart. You know that life itself is still unfolding.
Sometimes attributed to John Lennon: Everything Will Be Okay in The End, If It’s Not Okay, It’s Not The End.
By Debra Basham, on November 24, 2019 
I grabbed this image from a Zen practitioner. Have you ever wondered what makes someone decide to make a commitment to something like Zen? For the most part, we want to be the best we can be.
Today has been a productive day.
I got so much done, I have energy to burn!
What do you do with energy when you are revved up? Some people drink, some people smoke, some people eat, some people sleep. Some people exercise. I write!
Yesterday morning I saw this amazing ice etching on the mail room windows. The blue sky was right there too. It was quite breathtaking.
I am watching gorgeous pinks and blues spreading across the evening sky right now too.
Beauty is everywhere, when you are watching.
A friend’s husband has Alzheimer’s. He is in a facility. Last week he got punched in the stomach by another resident. She is recuperating from a knee replacement so she could not even go to see that he was OK. She was immediate in the feeling of how unfair this was; why him; he is such a great guy. Very quickly, though, she was also aware that she was holding onto something he had already forgotten. The very nature of the illness allows him to not hold onto anything painful.
Abraham Hicks speaks very directly about Alzheimer’s. Only watch this if you are ready to let go of painful things that you have been holding onto.
Whatever you are seeing, train yourself to see the opposite. Everything holds its opposite….
Live solely from the center.
Be still.
Be.
By Debra Basham, on November 23, 2019 I was writing in my journal how it seems otherworldly that we don’t plan to be back here in our Michigan home until April 6. As I write the question,”What would you have me know?” I hear in my head:
V: Wherever you are is home. Notice how the selfing tells you this is home, this is not home. You are welcome to appreciate the creature comfort’s – just be in the experience rather than telling yourself stories.
Can you see a bird that is migrating having a sense of “leaving home”?
The bird is following an inner call. The bird goes. The bird eats, roosts, and sings wherever it is.
Use your bird brain….
Every day we are being invited to experience an expanded awareness. At a certain level of development, when asked what makes wind a child will say that the branches waving makes the wind. As our thinking expands, we understand warm and cold and upper level currents and wind.
Many of us grew up without an understanding of “karma.” We may have even thought of karma as something only Buddhists experience. We may have perceived ourselves as immune from karma because we did not perceive it, like the child did not perceive the wind currents.
Today’s quotation from Aaron says “Karma attaches to the emotional and mental bodies and it moves with you from lifetime to lifetime. Whatever insights you have as you move through the lifetime and the transition at the end of this lifetime, you do not lose them. Whatever you deeply understand stays with you. Whatever negative habit energies you have that are not released, they also stay with you. You do not lose anything, not the wholesome, not the unwholesome.”
If you have not yet embraced an understanding of moving from lifetime to lifetime, simply think of this as moving from childhood to adulthood. As you move though your life whatever insights you have go with you. Likewise any negative habit energies you have that are not released stay with you.
Worry, insecurity, impatience, desire for control…. these unwholesome habit energies are your karma.
Joy, patience, kindness, enthusiasm, surrender…. these wholesome energies are also your karma.
One of my favorite practices around all of this is the Daily Recollection. (See my November 2012 post Beads!)
Marker bead: Namo Prajna, Paramita Hridaya. Homage to the wisdom mind.
63rd Bead: Whatever has the nature to arise has the nature to cease and is not me nor mine.
64th bead: When wholesome thoughts arise, cultivate the wholesome. When unwholesome thoughts arise, abandon the unwholesome.
65th bead: Tend the contents of the mind with compassion, as a mindful gardener tends his garden.
66th bead: This is the way to purify the mind and remove the clouds that obscure the vision of ultimate reality.
Intention bead: In this way will I train myself.
P.S. Send me an email or text message if you would like to receive and use the handout of Barbara Brodsky’s Daily Recollection.
By Debra Basham, on November 15, 2019 Patience is needed with everyone, but first of all with ourselves.
~Saint Francis De Sales
One of the daily thoughts I receive comes from Neale Donald Walsh.
This one was was especially poignant:
On this day of your life, I believe God wants you to know
that nothing is ever as bleak as it looks.
Everything, in fact, is a blessing.
I know, I know… that is sometimes very hard
to believe. How can a sudden, calamitous event in one’s life
be a blessing? It takes a longer view, I know,
to see this wonderful truth. Even a diagnosis
of a terminal illness could be seen as another gift
from life when experienced from a particular perspective.
It is an opportunity for us to express once again,
at the next highest level, Who We Really Are.
And, if it turns out that, at the Soul level, we have
indeed decided to leave our present physicality
in this particular way and time, that, too,
would be an expression of our Highest Self.
And so, all “calamities” are blessings,
not yet understood by the Mind.
God knew this was a good day
for you to hear this…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Perhaps every day is a good day to recall that “calamities” are blessings.
Those who have been following “Sailing Lady Gail” likely know that this week has brought calamities in the “Adventures of Doug and Stacey.” Their first open-water sail was 30 hours of 8-foot-plus rolling waves. Stacey violently vomited for 20 hours so Doug had to stay at the helm without sleep. When they got into safe harbor they were both spent.
I saw a powerful video on Facebook. While the video is 10 things you should never do to a person with Alzheimer’s, it outlines appropriate kindness to persons in all challenging circumstances.
1. Never argue, instead agree.
2. Never reason, instead divert.
3. Never shame, instead distract.
4. Never lecture, instead reassure.
5. Never say “Remember,” instead reminisce.
6. Never say “I told you,” instead repeat.
7. Never say, “You can’t,” instead let them do what they can.
8. Never command, instead ask.
9. Never condescend, instead encourage.
10. Never force, instead reinforce.
The closing message is: Remember that your loved one with Alzheimer’s can understand kind touch, laughter, and smiles even if they’ve lost most of their verbal skills.
As they await the arrival of some parts to repair an electrical issue on the boat, Doug and Stacey are being cared for well by her Uncle Jack Basham in Largo, Florida.
They are receiving lots of kind touch, laughter and smiles!
And after a few days on dry land, Stacey and Doug are now back to the dream drawing board. Details to follow….
By Debra Basham, on November 9, 2019 
The Comcast saga came to an end late yesterday morning. Today my fingers are on the keyboard of my PC and I am connected to the SCS domain. The solution was actually simple. And it is what Donny, my customer service agent at my local Comcast store, suggested to me weeks ago: Swap out the modem.
Relief is an interesting concept. Relief is defined as a feeling of reassurance and relaxation following release from anxiety or distress or assistance, especially in the form of food, clothing, or money, given to those in special need or difficulty.
Alison, I’m not sure to whom this message of appreciation should be addressed, but I want someone within the Comcast organization to know what you did for me.
I had been struggling between Comcast and my web host since October 18. On November 7, when I found you I had spent over 30 hours having to give the same information over and over, and never being able to follow up with someone I had spoken to previously.
I was rude, frustrated, angry, and you stayed right with me and assured me you would not leave me until the issue was resolved.
Although you were not able to resolve the issue that evening, you gave me your extension number and email. I became a real person to you. I cried!!! I mattered to you, and that matters to everyone.
During this period of time I was struggling with the problem with my service we had two deaths in our family. People have a lot going on….
You suggested we swap out the modem and when I got the new one the following morning, you were able to assist me to get the help from Kevin to activate it.
I sent email and left voice mail letting you know we were successful. Then you called again to make sure everything was working correctly.
Donny, at the Benton Harbor, Michigan, store was the first one to suggest we swap the modem. I wish everyone could work with you and Donny…. everyone deserves to!
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
During these weeks of frustration I have said many times I recognized this as an opportunity. I have learned a lot. I learned we do not have to call Comcast and go through 30 minutes of being passed from one person to another only to have to tell them the exact information before getting to someone who cannot help you. Using the Comcast app on your phone, you can give the information once and request a call back. The appropriate person calls you back. Oh, my….
Another learning has been to see how kind the conditions are. Regardless of how challenging, right here within the conditions is kindness.
It is kindness to let it go each time no resolution was at hand.
It is kindness to persevere and make another call when I had a couple of hours. (EEK…)
It is kindness to remember nothing is a life or death matter—not even life or death.
It is not denial to say not even life or death is a life or death matter. It is truth.
Over lunch yesterday my dear friend, Jane Foster, shared that even having lived with cancer for over 35 years now she still bumps into a fear of death. “Will it hurt? Will I be alone? How will my husband handle things? How will my son get through this?”
It occurs to me these are not evidences of fear of death. They are evidences of desire to control. We want to know. We want assurances. We want things to go a certain way.
I sent out a prayer request:
I have a precious client named Jessica.
She is thirty-something…
13 months ago she was told she had 17 months to live.
Three months ago she was told she was in remission, but her most recent scan showed tumors on her liver.
She has been at MD Anderson in Houston this week and if she is a candidate for an experimental surgery and treatment she will fly back down on November 17 and have the procedure on November 19. If there are no complications she will be able to fly back to Michigan on November 22.
They were not very optimistic… Possibly extend her life six months.
She asks for help with her mental state.
Here is her Bitmoji saying:
If you are inclined to pray, please add a special prayer for the mental state of all humans. May all beings know peace. May all beings love and be loved. May all beings come to the end of suffering.
Pray for Alison and Donny and each of those who work in organizations that inflict such pain in the delivery of service. Pray for Jane Foster to embrace sacred life and sacred death. (See Corpse Prayer) Pray for Jessica as she navigates such turbulent waters.
Pray that all sentient beings feel relief….
By Debra Basham, on November 7, 2019 
I could begin this article with an update on my SCS-Matters domain still being unavailable here on my home WiFi router, or that our underbelly of our mobile home is not yet insulated or ‘closed up’ as they call it and there is snow on the ground this morning, but I will instead begin by sharing what is important. Last evening we attended the visitation and funeral for the 34-year-old son of our cousin, Rita.
Chris was eccentric. Was that his soul’s destiny? Perhaps it a result of having been born in cardiac distress and immediately being whisked off to a children’s hospital several hours away from home. Maybe having lived his 34 years knowing he could die at any moment contributed.
Perhaps living our lives knowing we could die at any moment would be good for us all.
In the two-year Dharma study group this entire second year is working with the sacred darkness. You might be quite surprised how much fun and how easy the exercises are for this very challenging practice. Sit on an exercise ball, like the one my Dharma Sister, Patty, is leaning on in this photo and note the balance or imbalance until you can find inner stillness.
Another exercise is to hold a book in your hand, out at arm’s length. Notice the inner process. “This is silly. This is heavy. No big deal. I am going to hurt myself. I see no point in this. Kindness says to put the book down.”
You can see how these simple processes are pointing to a deeper state of awareness.
The third exercise is to take a raw egg and purposely let it roll off a counter and fall onto the floor and make a mess! I did this while on Zoom with two Dharma Sisters – one in Texas and one in the Sea of Cortez. We were to watch the tension and the mind activity. “This is wasteful. I am going to have to clean it up. What am I supposed to feel? Is this working? Did I do it right?”
Both of my witnesses said the SPLAT sound produced the greatest gut reaction for them.
I confess to being unwilling to waste one of the good farm-fresh eggs…. I noticed aversion, tension, and desire for control.
Many other events that are filling my days are too personal to share without betraying confidences of others. But one happening just now is worthy of sharing with you.
I was standing at the kitchen island writing this post on my laptop because the Comcast challenges that prevent my PC from having access to my blog. John came back into the house saying, “Look who I found outside raking leaves for a neighbor.”
My eyes had been against the screen and all I saw was a man in a heavy jacket wearing fogged-over eyeglasses and a stocking hat. I walked over to get a closer look.
“From Stevensville United Methodist churches young adult class years ago,” he said. “Scott.”
I recognized his voice!
He went on, “First let me say we have three wonderful children and five amazing grand children. And I want to thank you both for giving me such a foundation for life. You were so far ahead of us spiritually but you never let us know that and you were right there with us helping guide us along.”
“I call that ‘doubling back’ such as when an avid reader wants to inspire love of reading in a toddler. You have patience and kindness and meet them where they are to bring them along. It is such a joy to watch the love grow in them…” I shared.
I also told Scott what I had been told at the Oakwood retreat, “Debra, you love so deeply and you serve so many. You often worry is you are doing enough or if you could have done more. This week let yourself truly cherish yourself….”
I thanked Scott for being God’s answer to my willingness to truly cherish myself.
This morning I watched again the last Dharma Path video. I made a note in my journal about the book exercise: Ego cannot hold on very long. LOVE can hold on as long as it is needed. That is what love can do. Love can hold on as long as it is needed.
Thank you Chris, and Rita, and Comcast….
By Debra Basham, on November 2, 2019 Tender emotions here…. Some of the emotions are frustration. I have spent the past two weeks without resolution to my WiFi/Domain not speaking to one another. Twenty three hours on hold with Comcast, Comcast, Comcast, and Bluehost.
Monday evening, Aunt Sharon Basham passed. I met with her family on Thursday evening, went to visitation Friday evening, and I had the honor of officiating her Celebration of Life today. Everything about that service touches other places deep in my heart. Aunt Sharon lived with her daughter, Tracey, and son-in-love, Bo. The family supported Sharon in her wishes to be able to live her life out in the home they all moved into together on her birthday in 2008.
A powerfully relevant poem, “Two Mothers Remembered” by Joann Snow Duncanson, speaks of this unique bond when a daughter is a caregiver to her mother:
I had two Mothers – two Mothers I claim
Two different people, yet with the same name.
Two separate women, diverse by design,
But I loved them both because they were mine.
The first was the Mother who carried me here,
Gave birth and nurtured and launched my career.
She was the one whose features I bear,
Complete with the facial expressions I wear.
She gave me her love, which follows me yet,
Along with the examples in life that she set.
As I got older, she somehow younger grew,
And we’d laugh as just Mothers and daughters should do.
But then came the time that her mind clouded so,
And I sensed that the Mother I knew would soon go.
So quickly she changed and turned into the other,
A stranger who dressed in the clothes of my Mother.
Oh, she looked the same, at least at arm’s length,
But now she was the child and I was her strength.
We’d come full circle, we women three,
My Mother the first, the second and me.
And if my own children should come to a day,
When a new Mother comes and the old goes away,
I’d ask of them nothing that I didn’t do.
Love both of your Mothers as both have loved you.
They chose some wonderful music. In the Garden, by Alan Jackson. And Supermarket Flowers, sung by Ed Sheeran.”You were an angel in the shape of my mum….Spread your wing….And I know that when God took you back he said Hallelujah, You’re home….”
The Basham family is an amazing family. I married in to it over fifty years ago and I am so grateful….
Tonight Stacey sent a text message: “Please hold energy for Doug. He’s frustrated with stuff breaking, weather, etc. I just want to be supportive of him. This is his dream that I’m along for the ride.” (See FaceBook Sailing Lady Gail or Adventure of Doug and Stacey.)
We had opportunity for a voice-to-voice and I shared some from my journal this morning:
D: Last night I was kind to the person at Comcast (8:30-9:30 pm) and Bluehost (9:30-11:00 pm) while still being honest about the frustration.
D: What would you have me know?
V: Ask Jesus for help. Remember the Sacred Story you published that there is an angel for everything?
D: I am willing. I do see how my not planning to go to Indy for the Welcome Baby Party for Brian and Tegan was part of that greater awareness.
V: That is ALWAYS happening. Even the challenging situation with your domain is kind. You can do everything you need to do—just not the way you want to do it. Yes?
D: Yes.
V: Do you remember this is part of the Sacred Darkness? Watch the one who wants to control. As Barbara heard when she was trying to save her neighbor from drowning,”Stop trying. Relax. Let LOVE do this.”
D: Helplessness; confusion; grief. As I embrace that in myself I do it for all sentient beings.
I reminded Aunt Sharon’s family of the importance of celebrating little acts of love and enjoyment and remembrance.
It is OK to feel grief and relief.
In closing, these words to Sharon, and to each of you, “Well done, good and faithful servant. Well done….”
As I was hanging up with Bluehost I asked the guy what time it was where he was at. He said it was 8:00 pm and I responded, “It is 11:00 pm here.”
We are not actually all having the same experience, even when we are having the same experience.
By Debra Basham, on October 28, 2019 At the time of this writing, I am still holding space for resolution with the issue of not having access to the SCS-Matters.com domain using my Comcast WiFi at home that began 10 days ago. This morning I was successful logging in using the unsecure Xfinity WiFi hotspot, and I am on my laptop at home.YEAH!
Yesterday morning my “dharma study buddy” mentioned a term that I had not previously encountered in our study with Barbara Brodsky, and I have been searching Aaron’s archives for ‘Bare Perception.”
Emrich Retreat – February 26, 2000
So it’s important that you see that the qualities of pleasant, unpleasant, and neutral, are not innate to the object but depend on your relationship to them.
Very occasionally that relationship is what we call “bare perception”, being just with this object as it is in this moment without any prior conditioning to influence how you relate to it. As a simple example, if you had never seen fire, somehow you had lived your entire life and never seen even a candle flame, if you came into a small village after traveling through a cold winter night and somebody invited you into his home where fire burned in the hearth, giving off warmth, in that moment it would be very pleasant. Right there, nothing but the fire. Nothing but that moment. No past conditioning. Yet even here, there is past conditioning that equates warmth with comfort, so already there is some slant.
Think how different it would be if you were traveling on that cold dark night because your home had just burned down and all your family died. There might be a pleasant sensation of warmth from the fire, but your overall experience of fire would not be pleasant. Usually you bring this old conditioning into the moment and so it taints your experience in this moment. It’s very hard to see clearly just what’s here right now.
It’s not easy to bypass that old conditioning. Often the best you can do is to know, “My response here is conditioned by old experience” and to allow a spaciousness which is not so attached to the view, “This is good” or “That is bad”. One notes, “In this moment this feels good to me. It feels pleasant and wholesome. But I acknowledge that consciousness in part is based on past conditioning.”
My past experiences with being on perma-hold, then getting a non-native English speaking entry-level person who asks me the same questions as the last person just asked me has been anything but pleasant.
Last evening I was with my sister. She was saying she felt sad. She was able to say she could see where the sadness was coming from, and she recognized it as old conditioning. She said she knew tomorrow she would feel better.
This morning, I see all of this so related to the talk I gave at St. John UCC in New Buffalo yesterday. I was speaking about the way the news creates a false sense of the world as unsafe and unkind. I encouraged people to pay attention to their own experiences. I suggested making lists of the kindnesses we receive and give. We spent some time reflecting on the true nature of the world.
–
It is because we are raising our standards that things seem to be getting worse.
This is true about our world, and it is true about my sister.
We care more than we have ever cared before.
I would like to add the sermon to this post but I have not yet figured out how to do that with the cobbled-together process. You can send me an email message asking for the audio file of the sermon if you would appreciate listening.
I am here with my fingers on the keyboard, grateful for improvement and I know tomorrow I will feel better….
By Debra Basham, on October 23, 2019 Holy hissy-fits, Batman, have I been navigating the sacred darkness this week!
Last Friday morning I realized I was not able to log onto the SCS website. I @$$sumed our website was just down for some reason so I sent a text message to Joel and to our webmaster, Rebecca. Rebecca responded that she was able to log in just fine.
There-in-lies-the-problem….
Everyone can log in except me. And I can log in everywhere except on my home WiFi. I can even log on from home connecting to an unsecure xfinitywifi hot spot.
Hours of calls.
Many words of frustration.
If I had to give the same information to one more person, I was going to jump out of my skin.
I know I was not being kind to them. I was also not being kind to ME.
As I hung up the phone, still awaiting a resolution, an email message popped in from Barbara Brodsky, about the Dharma Path homework for this two weeks:
“I’m challenging all of you, as well. Where are you spinning in circles? Why? Here is the sacred darkness, but you can’t take it as sacred because there’s so much fear of it. You have to stop, as I was forced to stop in that snow cave of the avalanche. Trapped, knowing, yes, I still could die here. Who knows what will happen. I had tools to survive, but that was no guarantee of survival. More important, I could not help the people that I was pledged to help, at least not at that point. I had to just stop and survive in the cave. Dig and meditate, and dig and meditate, and dig and meditate, until I could overcome the old habits of fear; of trying to push the stone up the hill and make it stay there. To realize, to remember it’s all impermanent. Take it one step at a time, with an open heart. See where you are. See what the next step might be. Do it with love. And if it’s not effective, stop and meditate again, and see what a different step might be.”
I wrote back to Barbara: “Do you think the 8 hours I have spent on the phone with Comcast trying to get an issue with my domain cleared counts????”
Barbara wrote back to me: “Aaron is smiling and asks, ‘What did you learn?'”
This morning I wrote in my journal about an email exchange I had with Roann (one of my Dharma Sisters) following our Zoom gathering at which I shared my frustration and cried.
I was very tired and feeling sad last night when I attended my online two-year intensive. One of the women wrote to me afterwards. “Where do you allow for protection of yourself, where you’re not a ‘doormat’ for everyone else’s tsuris (trouble or woes)? Or maybe you want to be in that position and play that role. If you weren’t available to everyone and their mothers uncle… Who would you be? If you didn’t put on the apron in the kitchen, what would happen?”
I wrote back in my journal:
D: You know my heart. I put on the apron in the kitchen because it is a joy to serve. Like rinsing out the coffee pot for Pat on retreat. Easy to do. The state of darkness is not about that. What am I feeling?
V: You are appropriately feeling grief. Yes, you are also knowing your helplessness but you are aware nothing you are going through is permanent. The unkindness (being hostile, rude, short-tempered) doesn’t bother you because you are in an “I shouldn’t be feeling this” mode. You know who you are and the unkindness bothers you because it feels awful. Some people have no baseline for feeling freedom and peace. You have that. Since Friday you have spent many hours on the phone with Comcast without access to this natural state of openness. That causes grief.
I have just spent another hour on the phone. This time with a woman who works security at the back end for the company that hosts our website.
I dialed Comcast again. I am going to take it one step at a time, with an open heart.
Aaron says, “See where you are. See what the next step might be. Do it with love. And if it’s not effective, stop and meditate again, and see what a different step might be.”
Welcoming prayers and energy holding….
P.S. In case you are wondering, I also spent time on a text chat with Comcast, and they offered me a $5 credit off my bill because I have been inconvenienced. Then I called the number the text chat gave me and was told an open ticket is already in process, so I just need to wait until they resolve the issue and someone will call me. Now I am at the office using the WiFi there to post this.
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