Tender emotions here…. Some of the emotions are frustration. I have spent the past two weeks without resolution to my WiFi/Domain not speaking to one another. Twenty three hours on hold with Comcast, Comcast, Comcast, and Bluehost.
Monday evening, Aunt Sharon Basham passed. I met with her family on Thursday evening, went to visitation Friday evening, and I had the honor of officiating her Celebration of Life today. Everything about that service touches other places deep in my heart. Aunt Sharon lived with her daughter, Tracey, and son-in-love, Bo. The family supported Sharon in her wishes to be able to live her life out in the home they all moved into together on her birthday in 2008.
A powerfully relevant poem, “Two Mothers Remembered” by Joann Snow Duncanson, speaks of this unique bond when a daughter is a caregiver to her mother:
I had two Mothers – two Mothers I claim
Two different people, yet with the same name.
Two separate women, diverse by design,
But I loved them both because they were mine.
The first was the Mother who carried me here,
Gave birth and nurtured and launched my career.
She was the one whose features I bear,
Complete with the facial expressions I wear.
She gave me her love, which follows me yet,
Along with the examples in life that she set.
As I got older, she somehow younger grew,
And we’d laugh as just Mothers and daughters should do.
But then came the time that her mind clouded so,
And I sensed that the Mother I knew would soon go.
So quickly she changed and turned into the other,
A stranger who dressed in the clothes of my Mother.
Oh, she looked the same, at least at arm’s length,
But now she was the child and I was her strength.
We’d come full circle, we women three,
My Mother the first, the second and me.
And if my own children should come to a day,
When a new Mother comes and the old goes away,
I’d ask of them nothing that I didn’t do.
Love both of your Mothers as both have loved you.
They chose some wonderful music. In the Garden, by Alan Jackson. And Supermarket Flowers, sung by Ed Sheeran.”You were an angel in the shape of my mum….Spread your wing….And I know that when God took you back he said Hallelujah, You’re home….”
The Basham family is an amazing family. I married in to it over fifty years ago and I am so grateful….
Tonight Stacey sent a text message: “Please hold energy for Doug. He’s frustrated with stuff breaking, weather, etc. I just want to be supportive of him. This is his dream that I’m along for the ride.” (See FaceBook Sailing Lady Gail or Adventure of Doug and Stacey.)
We had opportunity for a voice-to-voice and I shared some from my journal this morning:
D: Last night I was kind to the person at Comcast (8:30-9:30 pm) and Bluehost (9:30-11:00 pm) while still being honest about the frustration.
D: What would you have me know?
V: Ask Jesus for help. Remember the Sacred Story you published that there is an angel for everything?
D: I am willing. I do see how my not planning to go to Indy for the Welcome Baby Party for Brian and Tegan was part of that greater awareness.
V: That is ALWAYS happening. Even the challenging situation with your domain is kind. You can do everything you need to do—just not the way you want to do it. Yes?
D: Yes.
V: Do you remember this is part of the Sacred Darkness? Watch the one who wants to control. As Barbara heard when she was trying to save her neighbor from drowning,”Stop trying. Relax. Let LOVE do this.”
D: Helplessness; confusion; grief. As I embrace that in myself I do it for all sentient beings.
I reminded Aunt Sharon’s family of the importance of celebrating little acts of love and enjoyment and remembrance.
It is OK to feel grief and relief.
In closing, these words to Sharon, and to each of you, “Well done, good and faithful servant. Well done….”
As I was hanging up with Bluehost I asked the guy what time it was where he was at. He said it was 8:00 pm and I responded, “It is 11:00 pm here.”
We are not actually all having the same experience, even when we are having the same experience.
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