By Debra Basham, on December 14, 2023 This morning’s Gratefulness.org message by John A. Powell is so perfect as follow up to my having gotten triggered yesterday: “When people’s stories are recognized, it does something. It creates a possibility.”
As so often happens, the Daily Reflection from Deep Spring also spoke so well to this.
Think of somebody in your life who is difficult for you, the ‘famous person’. Watch the way, as soon as you get near this person, you contract. You want to push them away. But that person is not the problem; your mind’s idea of that person is the problem. “Oh, this is that person who is always making snide remarks and is always bitter, is always attacking me.” Of course you want to push them away. But this person is just being how they are. Can you find the place of openness in yourself that can see that this person is as they are because of various conditions, and your reaction to this person is because of your interior conditions and it has nothing to do with them?
The next step is seeing this is not about them but about me. And for me, my reaction is my reaction. Ah, who am I that’s reacting? Can I watch my response to this famous person, or to anything — let’s say the whole Ukraine situation, or the recent school shootings. “AAAH!” Can I watch my reaction to it? It’s a strong object. I don’t want this. But as soon as there’s that contraction into the personal self, it becomes very hard to hold space around what’s happening.
We look at the famous person, whatever it may be, as a gift and say, “Thank you, teacher. What have you come to teach me?” Then we can begin to open our hearts to our own fear, our own sense of limitation, powerlessness or sadness. ~ Aaron
Of course, it’s never about the trigger. I sat on the lanai in the predawn anticipating the coming of the light and meditating on the trigger as gift or teacher. The trigger is like a divine finger pointing to the “story” outside of our awareness waiting for us to see clearly.
The sky changes were magnificent. One minute no color could be seen, the next minute the sky was alive with hues of bright pinks and reds and yellows woven together with the deep gray clouds.
Clouds make the most colorful skies….
A bit later I saw an amazing photo of a frozen-faced bison on Facebook with the following caption: Bison are the only animal that turn into a snowstorm rather than away from it because they instinctively know that walking into the storm will get them out of the weather quicker. There may be a life lesson for humans in this. It also makes for some epic pictures. ~ Neil deGrasse Tyson
By Debra Basham, on December 7, 2023 I listened to the first 20 minutes of a talk by Mosab Hassan Yousef. A dear friend (who happens to be Jewish) sent me a link to the talk on Youtube. “‘Son of Hamas’ Tackles University Antisemitism, Exposes Hamas ‘Holy War’ to Wipe Out Jews” was given at University of Michigan last week.
Opening email, I appreciated Gratefulness.org for posting this beautiful quotation from Brother David Steindl-Rast today, “The mystic is not a special human being – every human being is a special kind of mystic.”
I grabbed my journal and did a sacred drawing.
The drawing invoked this Haiku:
So busy —— this mind
but space and peace await
One need only be
the change you seek
wait for nothing to come first
You already are
As I wrote today’s date on the top of the page, the breath caught in my chest: Thursday, December 7, 2023.
82 years ago today 2,403 were killed in Pearl Harbor.
We cry “Peace, peace”…. while hating our neighbor and fearing our inner demons.
We need only to lay down our swords —— “S” words —— like should and should not and somebody.
Today’s “Daily Tejaniya”:
Faith Keeps Us On the Path
When we practice meditation,
faith should increase. Only if we
have trust and confidence in some-
thing, can we actually apply ourselves
to it. We must recognize the faith we
have — however little or much. It’s
what keeps us on the path.
This path is perhaps to each human being living fully as a special kind of mystic….
By Debra Basham, on November 23, 2023 Here in the US today we are celebrating Thanksgiving Day.
Last evening was a day of giving thanks in my heart as we shared time and great food with our daughter and son-in-love (Stacey and Doug), grandson and granddaughter-in-love (Brad and Christina), grandson and girl-friend-in-love (Adam and Rachael), granddaughter and great-grandson (Courtney and Jackson). Last year at this time we were navigating the shock of Jackson’s seizures and last night he was climbing up and down on the Little Tikes slide that will be a Christmas gift.
One of the women at meditation on Tuesday morning shared this beautiful quotation:
My beloved child, break your heart no longer.
Each time you judge yourself, you break your heart.
You pull away from the love that is the well-spring of your vitality.
But now the time has come, your time, to live
and to trust the goodness that you are…
~ Adapted from the teachings of Bapu-ji- as shared by kirpal venanji
This speaks deeply of a true sense of thanksgiving. Within every set of conditions resides the potential for kindness and wisdom. I may need to say something that is hard for another to hear, but that can be said with kindness. Wisdom inspires the words, the tone of voice, the expression in the eyes. Every aspect of being can flow from a genuine sense of compassion and strength from within the heart and mind.
I sent that quotation to our granddaughter a couple of days ago. She is in the planning process of making a home for Jackson as a single mom and it is scary and sad and a bit overwhelming. A lot of life is that.
But she and Jackson are well loved and as I told her last night, he will have a better opportunity to thrive wherever she thrives.
Reading from Conscious Divorce: Ending a Marriage with Integrity, by Susan Allison, “Making the decision whether or not to leave a relationship may be the most daunting part of the divorcing process; at least it is the one filled with the most anxiety. This is partly because divorce is a choice made of our own free will, and we sense the enormity of this responsibility. Also, confusion and indecision are uncomfortable for most of us. We want this initial stage to be over, so we can move on. At the same time, we realize that our choice will affect our partners, our families, and our friends; it will be a decision we must live with all our lives. We want to choose carefully.”
Thomas Moore writes in Soul Mates, “Divorce is not a failure of the parties to maintain their commitments, but rather, evidence of the tendency of fate to spin us in different directions.”
He goes on to say that the ending of a relationship can be recognized and experienced as a difficult rite of passage for the soul, and a true ending, not just a defensive withdrawal, that comes about not only through decisions but also with that spinning of fate and the turning of time.
Years ago I wrote an Ode to Letting Go:
I will not look back at our time together and see it all as bad. I will have the courage to call it all good – our coming together and our coming apart. I will honor your memory by remembering the growth that our relationship inspired. I will not insult either of us by insisting that it could have, should have, or would have been different. It was as it was. I will use this experience to affirm the beliefs I wish to guide my life by; All things work together for good. You are free. I am free. Be with your life lightly as I am with my own. Take not from here a false belief that you or I are less than what you are: a child of the universe, whole, holy, and loveable. Be tender with yourself as you make this adjustment, just as you would be tender with a body part as it heals.
Look into the mirror often and recall the truth – I once loved you deeply. Though the feelings have waned as the moon – your worthiness (as my own) has neither diminished nor dissipated. I will always honor your memory. I will always cherish your soul. Go in peace. Live, grow, heal, and continue on your journey. For this time of our being together as husband and wife has ended but the ties that bind our hearts in love continue – even as the love at the center of all of life continues to hold us and guide us and heal us. Amen.
So much to be thankful for…. everything is worthy of our thanks giving. Today, I am giving thanks for each of you.
May each sentient being break our heart no longer.
May all beings give thanks.
May all beings know peace.
By Debra Basham, on November 10, 2023
Friends accept
that friends
will feel out loud
when they are ready.
~ She Recovers Every Day: Meditations for Women
Late yesterday afternoon I had a serendipitous treasure visiting with my dear friend, Jane Foster. Jane is navigating radiation therapy. The linear accelerator was being repaired so she had the day off from her daily drive into Chicago.
One of the foods that sits well with Jane right now is my homemade creamy tomato basil soup. A neighbor grows the basil and it is such a gift-of-the-garden, even more so when it is shared. I delivered soup and fresh-baked cookies.
This has been a stressful week and the visit with Jane was such a bright spot!
As Jane referenced her sense of the deep pain in the world I told her about the stated angst of an elder student around his not being able to go and physically offer support to those in Israel who are suffering violence and killing. Here is the short transcript of Aaron’s significant response, posted on the Yellow Brick Road with Barbara Brodsky’s blessing:
I hear the pain in your heart. The human goes through various stages in its life. At some stages, this action or reply is most harmonious to the true being, and in other stages, a different reply is. As the human ages, often they cannot go off and protest or do whatever else they were moved to do 30 years earlier, and perhaps that is not what is needed.
The world needs an energetic container for compassion.
Feel in yourself the power to help support that energetic container. It is no less a “doing” than any other kind of doing but it is a doing grounded in a certain wisdom and beingness that only someone that has reached some maturity can bring together.
So, this is your special gift at this time of your life.
To pray.
To visualize.
To purify yourself — releasing old animosities, old distinctions of this and that — and truly holding everything in the loving container of your heart.
This is a powerful connection in the world. It can bring forth powerful results. It can draw to you from all over the world, the energy of others like yourself. You don’t have to talk to each other or Zoom with each other. You can; its not a problem but trust the power of your energy and love and release it into this massive container of unconditional love and strong compassion that says “No!” to killing, but without blame of anybody who still is engaged in killing. They are not ready yet not to kill.
You become the ground from which their readiness can arise….
This awareness visits a very humble and willing space in my heart.
“Don’t Just Sit There. Do Something.” is a song by Lewi B and Manga Saint Hilare.
Meditation circles flip that around and say, “Don’t just do something. Sit there.”
But Aaron’s words bring a beautiful balance to these thought polarities by providing us with a true knowing when you and I pray, visualize, and purify ourselves what we are doing is wholly holy….
By Debra Basham, on November 6, 2023 A retreat coming to an end is always bitter sweet. Some aspect of it is relief to return to a “normal” schedule, but there is also a lingering longing for the better balance that seems to be the likely result of a time of intentional insight and successive sitting.
Catching up on email I felt the collective as I read a Washington Post article by Anne Lamont (a pre-promotion for her next book coming out in April) titled: “It’s good to remember: We are all on borrowed time.”
I found her article helpful and humorous. The opening line really gives you a good sense of her message: “Getting older is almost like changing species, from cute middle-aged, white-tailed deer, to yak. We are both grass eaters, but that’s about the only similarity.”
Nothing quite as humorous as honesty, is there….
Some of you might already be familiar with Dancing with the Elephants, by Jarem Sawatsky. Previous posts have referenced this, especially the Corpse Prayer on page 28:
Be not afraid.
I give thanks to god who created all things good.
In christ, all things hold together.
I am not entitled to life without death.
I embrace sacred life. I embrace
sacred death. I embrace the
growing and crumbling in between.
Smile at yourself in the silence…
Writing to a friend about the retreat this morning, I acknowledged that while it was not part of the formal retreat theme, because so many people attending expressed currently navigating health issues often the teachings leaned into how to mindfully accept gracefully our old age, illness, and death.
Robert shared that as his friend, a long-time mediator, was actively dying his friend had a prayer he repeated three times. Someone recorded his final recitation of that prayer and his own voice was heard at his celebration of life.
Whoa…. What words might hold my heart in that sublime stability? This morning I am still processing and wrote in my journal: Why do the birds go on singing? Because it is their nature.
All things with a beginning have an ending. It is our nature. All endings are really new beginnings. It is our nature. Changing species…. it is our nature.
So yesterday was the end of the retreat, and today is the beginning of living life with the benefits of practice. It is our nature.
By Debra Basham, on November 5, 2023 We gained an hour last night here in most of the United States. What an odd concept, that we can lose or gain time….
Gain and loss…. part of the Eight Worldly Winds. It is written that gain obsesses the mind, and loss obsesses the mind. We are attracted to gain and repelled by loss, thus we can be tossed about by our (often subconscious) fears and desires.
This retreat has been placed in the perfect conditions of my life. My nephew David has found himself homeless and without money once again…. I could feel my heart closing after discovering he had not been honest with us.
During the dinner break last evening I overheard John having two difficult phone conversations: the first was about an ambulance and police cars having been at the home of John’s youngest brother. Thankfully, John’s brother was not the one in medical crisis, and the man living on his property was tended to. In the quest for information, however, John discovered something else about his brother that was distressing.
Loss and gain, fears and desires.
The second phone call was about Friday’s evaluation for our great grandson, Jackson. Jackson had seizures one year ago during the fall retreat. While we have lost the illusion that Jackson is neurotypical, we also have watched him gain the ability to walk. He is still not talking. And, yes, it feels like another likely loss that Jackson will be tested this week and it is strongly expected he will be diagnosed as on the spectrum for Autism Disorder.
The last sentence in my retreat journal from yesterday is: “If we had to be perfect to make a positive impact in the world what good could ever get done?”
In the evening dharma talk, Aaron told a story about when he and Jeshua as young boys befriended another boy who would have been called retarded. Aaron would smile so broadly speaking of that boy’s loving heart.
Our son-in-love, Doug, said about Jackson in the aftermath of the seizures: “Jackson is still the same loving little boy.”
We have been learning that compassion is vital in facing the conditions of our world today. We have heard the term “Satyāgraha,” which is a sort of holding firmly to truth, also sometimes called truth force. It is a particular form of nonviolent resistance or civil resistance.
We have also heard the word ahimsa, which is Sanskrit for noninjury. In the Indian religions of Jainism, Hinduism, and Buddhism, ahimsa the ethical principle of not causing harm to other living things. There are said to be three types of ahimsa or harm:
1. Physical, by hurting someone’s physical body.
2. Vocal, by speaking against others, hurting their feelings.
3. Mental, by thinking against others.
From this morning’s Daily Reflection Quote:
Everything is compassion. It’s only when you’re cut off from that compassion that you can begin to realize that you have free will choice to react with holding things away from you with negativity, with fear, or, still feeling that fear, to make the choice, “I will respond with love, even though my reaction is based in fear. I want to fight back. I want to hate. I want to kill. But I will not allow that of myself.” ~ Aaron
Fortunately, we don’t have to be perfect to make a positive impact in the world.
My intention can be: I will respond with love, even if or when my reaction is based in fear.
Love. Perfect love.
(Barbara Brodsky shared a precious video on Instagram of a dog being loved on by ponies. She said, “This is perfect love. They don’t care if they are different.” Here is a photo snip:)
(And also sharing a photo of Junior Bear, my nephew’s Emotional Support Animal, sitting patiently at the table waiting for his breakfast at The Mason Jar Cafe.)
By Debra Basham, on November 4, 2023 Even if our efforts of attention seem for years to be producing no result, one day a light that is in exact proportion to them will flood the soul. ~ Simone Weil
This morning I did laundry rather than go to the community room to ride the stationary bike because I am currently starting a novel and it is easier for me to keep my thoughts on the theme/s of the retreat without reading something else.
That opening quotation by Simone Weil was posted today by Gratefulness.org and it asked me to mindfully post today as a part of the noble silence of the retreat.
I have been listening again to the opening words and share some excerpts:
I’ve seen so many on this earth with fear of, “I will die.”
Every sentient being wants to survive….
The heart of the shift comes from your truly knowing our nonduality….The tree is you and you are the tree….gradually your heart opens to knowing absolutely everything inter-is. ~ Aaron
Last evening Barbara shared a significant guided meditation asking us to imagine being a young child, playing with friends, enjoying the larger community. Then imagine now you are not allowed to play with your friend because he or she is the wrong race, religion, or ethnicity. And then the friend is hungry because his or her parent is not allowed to go into the store to buy food. Before long the friend is cold and has no shelter, everything having been burned. What do you wish for your friend?
I had memory of a story about a young child who was spending time with an elder neighbor who had recently lost his wife. The child’s mother was curious what the boy was doing with the old man for hours at a time. When she asked, the boys said, “Mostly, I help him cry.”
Speaking about the two sides in any conflict Aaron continued: “You must support both and you must say not to both….” and reminded us we are not just our brothers’ keeper, we are our brothers.
In closing Aaron spoke gently but firmly, “We truly are all one and all must live or all will perish….The choice is within you and in your dedication.”
During the night a text message (likely a wrong number) woke me up. As I lay in the darkness I knew what I wished for my friend was what I wished for all beings. I wish hearts open enough to feel the pain and to feel also the gratitude. If I am not hungry, if I am not ill, if I am not afraid…. feel the gratitude and share that with the world.
If feeling the pain generates only more pain, where is the relief?
If not feeling the pain generates ego’s separation, who will help?
The scripture in Daily Word for today:
But those who look into the perfect law,
the law of liberty,
and persevere,
being not hearers who forget
but doers who act — they will be blessed
in their doing.
~ James 1:25
It is not just, what do you wish for your friend, it is also, “What do you wish for?”
By Debra Basham, on November 3, 2023 When the loving heart simply asks, “How do we best find forgiveness in this situation?” and you take it into meditation and you ask for help, the help that comes is not spirit help versus your help; it’s simply love, one voice of love coming through whatever source it can come through. Let go of “Who is it coming from?” It’s just the voice of love. You can tell when you are tuned into that voice of love because there’s not a lot of contraction and grasping. The body energy is open, connected. ~ Aaron
This morning begins the fall retreat with Barbara Brodsky, John Orr, and Aaron. I will be physically at home, serving as Zoom host, but my heart is also with each of you.
This morning as I readied my space, I noticed some words on a promo piece for Zan Lombardo’s Forge & Scroll exhibit:
It is time to give up deeply….He could do no more. Transformation appears as the death, at its right time.
As I wrote the words into my journal, along with the comment, “I’m not sure from where the words came,” I also hear: “The words came from the ONE.”
I played with the letters in one.
O – N – E
Only now energy.
I had selected some special healing stones to place on my side table. I put the spirit (or love) rock that says FORGIVE YOURSELF on my computer.
Then I wrote in my journal my often-expressed desire of spirit: What would you have me know?
The voice answered:
“No one is going on retreat. The ONE is present. You will have a split second of grief as you let go before you soar.”
S – O – A – R
See once and release.
The retreat ends late Sunday afternoon. The Buddhist practice of dedicating merit is that we practice not only for ourselves, but for the benefit of all the people in our lives and in the world as well.
May all beings come to the end of suffering.
May all see once and release.
May all know peace.
Namaste’
By Debra Basham, on October 26, 2023 Wow… I had a very unskillful time of things at the Jam last evening. When John and I arrived there were only two others there and one of the guys asked me to drum on the first and third beat only. He played a bit of a song he was going to do, and he coached me, and then my emotions went on a demented detour. A wounded state got triggered (honestly, that wounded state had come into the jam with me after it was previously triggered by another situation). It was all I could do to stay in that room for two hours. I did not put my hands on my drum for one beat.
He apologized to me after the jam.
I apologized to him by text this morning.
So much unnecessary suffering….
Yesterday’s Daily Arron Quote: Decisions made from a space of contraction will always carry karma. They will always come from the self, from the ego. Decisions made while resting in that spaciousness that is aware of the contraction and is not hooked into a self-identity with it are free of karma and can hold the spaciousness of the loving heart as ground for the decision or words.
I was self-identified as the person who could not drum correctly; the person who was not allowed to drum the way I wanted to drum; the person who was not good enough.
Those are familiar thoughts and feelings, but they are not who I am. As I am writing this post a text message from Empty Circle Zen group arrived:
We ARE IN the habit of identifying ourselves with our bodies. The idea that we are this body is deeply entrenched in us. But we are not just this body; we are much more than that.
The idea that “This body is me and I am this body” is an idea we must get rid of. If we do not, we will suffer a great deal. We are life, and life is far vaster than this body, this concept, this mind. We are connected with everything and everything with us.
My emotions did not originate in the interaction about the drumming. My emotions came from old habit energies of feeling judged or rejected or controlled, resulting in not feeling good enough and believing that someone or everyone was doing something or everything wrong.
The true self has deep compassion for all humans navigating these bodies, these concepts, these minds. The true self has wisdom to recognize the suffering that comes from self-identification with all of that.
While the true self was working on this post, I received an email from a friend saying a digital copy of his book, Looking for the True Self, is now available. (The title of this post comes from the title of his boo k.) The downloadable, virus-free, printable, and shareable file is freely available on his website (www.georgesanfacon.com).
Note: George says you may get a pop-up message box that reads “This file is too large to preview” or “This file is too large to scan for viruses” but fear not — the file is safe and you can click the “download” or “download anyway” button.
Excerpted from “Looking for the True Self:”
a spark is born and dies in a split second, while the sun seems to last forever
but if your time shifted to a longer perspective,
you could watch the sun flicker in and out of existence, too,
same as a spark from a fire
and so your body is flickering, too
the Universe scooped you up into manifest existence,
and will soon pour you back …. …. ….
May all beings enjoy looking for the true self!
By Debra Basham, on October 8, 2023 Today’s “Word for the Day” from Gratefulness.org is by renowned poet and author, David Whyte: Being unappreciative might mean we are simply not paying attention.
I have shared previously that we have been on an accelerated path with my nephew. He has now signed a lease, paid his first month’s rent, and this David and his emotional support animal, Junior Bear, have moved into an unfurnished space in the walk-out basement of a co-worker. David has known Terry for close to forty years. Terry’s mother lives there too. She is 80-something.
David needed EVERYTHING.
I sent a message to our Interfaith Fellowship list. Gifts began to arrive. A toaster oven; pillow and comforter; bath towels; odds-and-ends for the kitchen; small flat-screen TV; etc.
I stopped at a garage sale while out riding my bike and bought a floor lamp for $3. The guy ended up gifting David a small table with three chairs and a desk.
In response to my email, news from a friend home recovering from Covid came that her church was having their huge garage sale this week and giving me the name of a woman in charge. Patty is a long-time friend AND a former teacher who knows David from elementary school!!!!
The church gifted David a queen-sized bed, complete with headboard and mattress pad. A friend loaned us his pick-up truck for delivery. (If you do not see the photo here, please click on the title link in this email and read from the website.)
Another friend sent $100 for “whatever is needed” and we were able to purchase a twin-recliner sofa, end table, and chest of drawers from the church’s sale. The friend loaned me his truck again and he and his wife and Larry Gunter helped me deliver the sofa. (If you do not see the photo here, please click on the title link in this email and read from the website.)
And David still has $15 dollars left!
The past several days have brought some challenges. Heavy rain meant no driving the cement delivery truck and work at the shop resulted in a very painful shoulder that sent David home before daybreak. Later that day he discovered his pay had not gone onto his debit card, and his mom and Larry had to help him get that straightened out. The next day he knew he was sick with that nasty respiratory stuff going around…. The rent goes on even with three days of work missed this week.
I sent him this big message posted on Facebook by a dear friend, Sandy, who is losing her vision from complications as a result of treatment for cancer:
I think it’s inevitable that all of us will experience some difficult setbacks in life…we’ll be dealing pretty effectively with challenges (of all kinds) when an unexpected issue crops up and we find ourselves temporarily overwhelmed. Please don’t hesitate to share your feelings with the empathic listeners in your life. Don’t fall into the trap of pretending that your troubling feelings don’t exist OR that those feelings are the place you need to stay. Recognizing all the blessings that remain can be so helpful in finding our best head space. Today I am blessed with a great care team, a generous blood donor, creative physicians, a loving partner and adult sons who are tracking my comings and goings. There is SO much to be grateful for; I’m hoping that all of you who are facing life challenges can find your way to a hopeful and peacefilled resolution. 💖
This morning I was reading story number 29 in Forty-Seven Stories of Jesus You Have Probably Never Heard, by Aaron, channeled by Barbara Brodsky. Jesus and his companions were attacked by bandits and left without shelter from the sun, food, and only one small container of water for all of them. When they came across a sole sheep and her newborn lamb, knowing without water there could be no milk for the lamb, Jesus said, “I wish to give my share of the water.”
I plan to share the rest of the story at St. John UCC on October 29, so I won’t say more about that now.
David has expressed desire for a Britta water pitcher because the water at the rental house has a lot of iron. I don’t have iron in our water here but we do have city water so we have chlorine. I actually use two Britta pitchers — filtering once for cooking and coffee or tea, then filtering a second time for drinking.
Today I wish to give David my extra Britta pitcher….
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