By Debra Basham, on May 4, 2022 In The Wisdom of No Escape: And the Path of Loving-kindness, Pema Chödrön qutoes Joseph Campbell, writing, “It has been said, quite accurately that the psychotic drowns in the same waters in which the mystic swims with delight.” One might wonder what it is that the mystic sees/hears/knows/experiences which leads to the more pleasant conclusion.
Last evening I was Zoom host for The Eden Project when Barbara Brodsky logged on saying Aaron was requesting the use of breakout rooms. I have hosted a lot of Zoom classes for/with Barbara and Aaron, but I have no experience setting up the breakout rooms. I reached out via text to my virtual buddy and I asked out loud of another friend whom Barbara said has a lot of experience with Zoom — neither of them had any experience with the breakout rooms.
The intention to use the breakout rooms remained steady in our hearts and minds. I selected the “allow participants to choose” option. Not successful yet. One of the participants sent a link to a tutorial video, but knew I could not switch to that easily enough to learn while hosting the group. Another participant with some experience was willing to help, so I quickly made him co-host and together (with lots and lots of cooperation and co-creation) the breakout rooms were enjoyed!
I was unable to join the small group because I was the Zoom host. I did not want to leave Barbara without support. Awareness came instantly that spirit had given me the experience prior to the group meeting when I accidentally dropped my Osho Zen Tarot deck, and three cards spilled out.
The first card is 20 Beyond Illusion:
don’t look outside for what’s inside
The second card is 5 of Clouds Comparison:
all is needed and everything fits together
The third card is Ace of Water Going with the Flow:
everything is happening exactly as it should
Just as the spilled card spread began with the butterfly, so did Aaron’s talk!
When you are a caterpillar, you are already a butterfly and yet it has not manifested….
You live in a world in which you have the power to change things!
Where would you like to be in your awareness one month from now?
How do we awaken the imaginal cells and begin to imagine a world/family/individual in which there is peace? What does it look like, feel like, taste like, smell like?
You cannot think your way in, but you can sing your way, dance your way, or draw your way in.
Begin with asking: “What conditions are necessary for a world of peace — a world without hatred?”
I received a text message:
M: Good afternoon, Miss Debra. If you are not too busy, could you pendle some thing for me? My question is ready.
D: No….There is a bit of a jokester energy present. Does that make sense?
M: A medication was prescribed for one of our guys. It’s pretty heavy duty. I am so not sure whether to start the script.
D: Do you have it with you?
M: I actually haven’t picked it up yet. Probably I’ll go in a little while. Muscle test?
D: Yes! Muscle test. Do you have the script or can you imagine holding it up to your heart?
M: Nothing tangible.
D: Let’s do it with intention.
M: When you asked me if I could imagine holding it up to my heart, I heard that it’s not for me. LOL.
D: Direct your intention. And thank them for clarifying for us. LOL.
M: Yes. LOL. I got “maybe.”
D: Similar here. I actually asked if it would be beneficial, and I heard “maybe.” I asked if it could be harmful, and I heard “maybe.”
M: Yes, that’s how it comes to me.
D: What I am immediately aware of is that we are so oriented to the “right or wrong” instead of realizing that Spirit can work with anything and everything.
M: Ahhhhh….
D: You could not take it out of fear and you are adding fear to your little guy. You could take it out of fear and you are adding fear to your little guy. You could take it out of love and be adding love. You could not take it out of love and be adding love. Make sense?
M: Yes, and then what is my next best step. Maybe sit with it some more.
D: When you find your center of peace, you will act from that. Make that your best step. I am certainly navigating this as well — with all of the medication John is on.
M: Yes, I can feel that. I certainly appreciate your sharing your journey.
Opening the Daily Word this morning, essentially the same message comes through in Colossians 3:14: Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.
This is called equanimity in Buddhism: Mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation. As in,”She accepted both the pleasant and the unpleasant with equanimity.”
Perhaps our true mystic nature is awakening from it’s caterpillar stage. After all, you are already a butterfly….
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
P.S. Permission to share this from one of the Zoom attendees:
I had an extraordinary experience in our little group. I turned three times and this painting just unfolded in 15 minutes!
Thought of your writings today. Once I’d finished the painting, I looked outside and the trees and the leaves everywhere looked even more vibrant. Wow! It felt like, as we as humans become more awake, all of the flora, fauna, trees etc will flourish!!!
By Debra Basham, on April 18, 2022 “If a wild animal like a cheetah
can be tamed into forgetting her power,
forgetting her majesty,
forgetting her wild —
then so can a woman.”
~ Glennon Doyle Melton
I watched an interview in which Glennon Doyle Melton reported an experience of going to the zoo and watching the “cheetah run” with her children. She describes a zookeeper coming out with a dog on a leash and saying this dog has been a companion of the cheetah and allowed them to train the cheetah. The dog ran the race, chasing a “dirty pink bunny” behind a vehicle. The the cheetah did the same thing.
Inside her very body, mind, and spirit, she recognized the way we (women AND men) have been trained.
It is difficult for me to separate my hearing Glennon’s words from other current conditions.
I write to a friend:
His kids are moving him to a memory care facility in Tennessee. I finally see what about that pisses me off. Moving him to a facility so they can watch him like an animal in a zoo. Not moving him into their home and making the commitment to care for his needs as one would care for a newborn baby.
He is not doing any of the things that make this option out of the question. He doesn’t run. He doesn’t fight. He simply forgets whether he has eaten or is hungry; whether or not he has showered or shaved or gone to the bathroom.
Mind you, I do not pretend to know what is best for him. My reaction is not about what is happening to him. It is about what is happening within me.
I can feel some life-calling brewing. Like my dreams upon waking, I have insufficient recall of the details.
Everything is related to everything. Reading Glennon’s book, “Love Warrior: A Memoir” and taking notes:
Love Warrior: A Memoir
By Glennon Doyle Melton
(p. 144)
I’m trying to fix my pain with certainty, as if I’m one right choice away from relief. I’m stuck in anxiety quicksand: The harder I try to climb my way out, the lower I sink. The only way to survive is to make no sudden movements, to get comfortable with discomfort, and to find peace without answers… There is only one strategy I can count on during this time: Just do the next right thing. One thing at a time.
I can never glimpse the end of the path, but if I squint hard, I can see the next step.
I say: Give me today my daily bread. I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, but today, give me enough energy and wisdom and strength and peace to handle what comes…. Help me ignore the big decisions, which will make themselves, and just help me focus on the small ones.
~~~~~~~
(p. 195)
My spiral staircase of progress means that my pain will be both behind me and in front of me, every damn day. I’ll never be “over it,” but I vow to be stronger each time I face it. Maybe the pain won’t change, but I will. I keep climbing.
~~~~~
(p. 203)
Our pain is not the poison; the lies about the pain are….
Along the way, we’ve internalized the lies: You are supposed to be happy all the time. Everybody else is! Avoid the pain! You don’t need it, it’s not meant for you. Just push this button. Finally, I was being quiet and still enough to hear the truth: You are not supposed to be happy all the time. Life hurts and it’s hard. Not because you’re doing it wrong, but because it hurts for everybody. Don’t avoid the pain. You need it. It’s meant for you. Be still with it, let it calm, let it go, let it leave you with the fuel you’ll burn to get your work done on this earth.
The threads are witnessed from a safe distance. The right religion. The right treatment. The right partner. As though there is such a thing. We try to find the truth about the tooth fairy by putting our teeth under our pillow. The lies must been brought into the light. Yes, the tooth is gone and there is a quarter (OK, too cheap for today…. there is a dollar) under my pillow, but that has nothing to do with the truth.
On Easter Sunday morning I watched the replay of an April 5 IANDS interview “Overcoming The Challenges and Discovering the Gifts of Spiritual Experiences” with Dr. Nicole Gruel. I so relate to her saying that the top risk of NOTES (Non-Ordinary Transcendent Experiences) is the relationship loss as others (and we ourselves) cannot accept awarenesses of the larger reality accessed by our experience.
I did not go out of my way to notice that dead people talk to us.
I would never have gone.
Nor did I willingly leave the safety of the cocoon of Christianity to recognize the SOURCE of all life is “present within” each religion, but not “contained within” it.
I would never have gone.
If I had known learning Healing Touch would drive me into decades of despair dancing with the egotism of allopathic medicine, I NEVER WOULD HAVE GONE.
Something changes when you are opened to the reality of the ever-perfect within the ever-imperfect. Everything changes when you stop searching for the RIGHT choice about anything and let your inner radiance see the light that shines brightly upon a path to everything.
Later in the day I also tuned in to the Deep Spring Center for Meditation Easter Sunday gathering where Barbara Brodsky and Colette Simone took turns channeling Jeshua and Mary. I made few notes but the notes I did make are significant: The point is not to get through the incarnation, but to consecrate the incarnation. Aware of where we would not have been open to the heart, now we are able to. WOW. We are doing it.
Glennon said it this way: My spiral staircase of progress means that my pain will be both behind me and in front of me, every damn day. I’ll never be “over it,” but I vow to be stronger each time I face it. Maybe the pain won’t change, but I will. I keep climbing.
It pisses me off that his family does not know him well enough to draw out of his decaying brain things that he still knows. That he will be in a sea of strangers ignorant of the truth of him as a brilliant university professor who assisted so many on the path of learning. That someone will give him chocolate chip cookies instead of his preferred oatmeal raisin.
But even as I am willing to feel the heat of anger, I am also willing to feel the spaciousness of peace and trust.
Perhaps I can stop saying I never would have gone and see that I am going again even now.
Sharing with a friend via text this morning I wrote: Maybe the trick is learning that the REAL art is what we create outside of the lines.
Perhaps creating outside of the lines is itself a non-ordinary transcendent experience….
By Debra Basham, on April 9, 2022 If what I say resonates with you,
it’s because
we are both branches of the same tree.
~ W. B. Yeats
I’m not a “follower” of astrology, but MANY years ago something occurred that led me to respect the wisdom there.
Decades ago now, driving home on a snowy day, the roads were glare ice. Less than a block from home, I was blinded by a cloud of snow by a person blowing out his driveway. I rear-ended the car stopped to make a left-hand turn onto a side street. I was not considered at fault due to the unusual conditions and I did not receive a citation. But when I opened the paper a bit later at home, still shaken, my horoscope for the day read: The highway will not be a happy place for you today. Be careful, even on short trips.
And now a warning?
Perhaps just a coincidence, or more likely something ancient and pure and worthy of being reported in the bible as announcing the coming of Jesus.
Yesterday’s comment by a friend about the current astrological line-up led me to look up The Cosmic Tides by Leah Whitehorse. Here is an excerpt from April 9, 2022: It’s imperative to take time out to reconnect with the emotional body before direct action. That way, we can tune into our gut instinct which tells us where to best place our energy and effort. There will be time enough to conquer goals and fight the good fight. Be tender with yourself. Listen to your feelings. Know where you belong. Never doubt that you are strong enough. Nothing can extinguish your inner flame.
We have snow again today!
Thought for Today from Deep Spring Center for Meditation:
It is valuable to sit in private meditation. It is lovely to walk in the woods or on a warm and sandy beach and enjoy that beauty and sense of connection. Your joy at those moments does offer light, does have real value. But at physical levels it does not touch the fundamental deprivation in the world. How can you allow that connection with spirit to begin to transform the world? This does not mean you should not take holidays, but your work is in the world. How do you bring joy and love back into the stressful situations? Would you worship a hollow god that stands above the world, superior to the world, that will not get its feet dirty? Would you strive to pull yourself up to those heights and leave the world to suffer with itself in the dark alleys? Or do you give your love to a loving God, a God willing to partake in pain through entering the human illusion?
~ Aaron
A couple of days of hard work has rendered our tiny house clean and neat and ready for visitors. It is funny that our seasonal home on Bounty Lane is the larger space. Just as we squeeze back into 1,120 square feet, we continue to share one vehicle (writing all of our “times I need the car” on the calendar hanging on the kitchen wall).
Already this morning I have done 45 minutes of chanting and some yoga. I will at some point go over to the community room and ride the stationary bike while John walks on the treadmill. We await warm weather that welcomes walking and biking in the beautiful Michigan outdoors.
Treasure this day and treasure yourself.
Truly, neither will ever happen again.
~ Ray Bradbury (Gratefulness.org “Word for the Day” April 9, 2022)
By Debra Basham, on March 30, 2022 Buddhist teachings point to the most elemental cause behind our suffering — forgetting who we are. We forget our belonging to one another and to our larger body of earth. We forget our belonging to the boundless, loving awareness which is our shared essence. Instead, we live in a trance of egoic separation, with habits of grasping and self-protection that lead to violating ourselves, others, and our world. We are at a time in history where the illusion of separate self — with its unprocessed fear, aggression and destructiveness — threatens all life systems on our planet. More than ever, we need practices that can evolve consciousness from “self-other” or “us-them” to “we” — practices that motivate us to act on behalf of our collective wellbeing. ~ ~ Dharma for Times of Global Trauma, by Tara Brach (Lion’s Roar)
These universal words feel very personal today. While I have hesitated to write opening about the situation with a dear friend having been taken to the hospital and likely not returning to his home, something about Tara Brach’s words makes it impossible to not write opening about it.
Readers will know of whom I speak, but I will refrain from naming names. Let’s be clear: This sharing is not to have you feel sorry for me or to feel hostile toward the “others” involved. Can one choose which side of a building we will keep standing? Choosing sides is a grand delusion. This sharing is to help US see how true it is that “the illusion of separate self — with its unprocessed fear, aggression and destructiveness — threatens all life systems on our planet.”
We had just spoke to Dad’s case manager and found out that you are requesting for Hospice evaluation without letting us know. This is unacceptable. If you do this again, I will go to the court to take you out of the list. You do not have the best interest to take care of our Dad.
The message went on to list many things considered to have been done wrong. The story was distorted and the tone was hostile. I did not address the distortions or the hostility, but instead sent a simple response:
It won’t help your dad to have us argue over his care. I am very appreciative of this information. I always welcome your updates. Thank you for letting me know. I’m sorry if my call seemed argumentative.
The email sent in response continued in the same threatening tone: Thanks. I also want to let you know that you are not his POA, so if you call yourself so, that would be a misrepresentation.
The email messages since that day have continued to escalate.
He has his phone now. Within minutes of its being dropped off to him, I received email, text, and a phone call with the same message: “Please help me get out of the hospital.”
It is so very difficult…. Meanwhile, gratitude washes over me that he has his phone and that he can call me and express his emotion.
Each time I speak to my dear friend, I hold this universal truth in my heart as I speak the words to him: “Since you are where you are right now, do the best you can to make the best of it.”
Since we all share this difficult experience of being human on planet earth right now, we must do the best we can to make the best of it.
What might be gained by seeing the “other’s” perspective?
Years ago I delivered a sermon titled “Universal Addiction” in which we identified the universal addiction as to our point of view.
Let’s be clear. We cannot un-see what we have seen. The way it was seen is the way it was seen. Magic happens when we realize (seeing with REAL EYES) that it can always also be seen from another perspective. It is not necessary to give up anything already seen to choose to see something additionally.
The classic example of this is the young woman or old lady image. There are lots of these, but this one is possibly the most widely recognized.
So much of mindfulness training is about just this. Hold up your hand. Focus on the fingers. Then relax your eyes and notice the space between the fingers and the view beyond the space. Each perspective exists. Point of view reveals, not creates, awareness.
“The die is cast” is a saying that means an event has happened or a decision has been made that cannot be changed.
Perhaps human consciousness has awakened sufficiently that no die can be cast…. perhaps, just perhaps…
How else will we humans hold hands and act on behalf of the earth? How else will we go beyond the political dividedness that leads to violence and oppression? How else will we create beloved community, a world where all life is cherished, the vulnerable are cared for, and we naturally live for the common good?
If we can imagine our potential as humans — what is possible — we can manifest the fullness of our true nature.
~Tara Brach
By Debra Basham, on March 25, 2022 One of the most extraordinary aspects of our humanity
is our capacity to learn, grow, and change.
~ Sheryl Chard (Gratefulness.org)
One week ago today I got a call from the son of my long-time business partner, Joel Bowman, asking who in Kalamazoo could take his dad to the ER.
Of course, I am in Florida. A former student, Deb Doerschler, is also still in the south-for-the-winter location. Joel’s wonderful friend, Bob Kipp, was at their place up north. I suggested a neighbor who has been part of the behind-the-scenes support for the past several years. Thankfully, she was able and willing.
Joel was admitted to the hospital that evening.
I was so angry a few days later when Joel’s son did not even let me know that Joel had been moved to a skilled nursing facility. Two of Joel’s friends had tried to visit him at the hospital, and were told he had been discharged.
The anger has born fruit. (Uncomfortable emotions have a way of doing that.)
Wednesday night, seeking some inner peace around the situation, I was led to watch “The Roots of Anger” by Thich Nhat Hanh on YouTube. Here are my notes:
You don’t have the right to keep your anger to yourself alone more than 24 hours.
You should tell him or her but in calm speech. If you cannot do it, you can write it down on a piece of paper.
Sentence one:
I suffer. I am angry, and I want you to know it.
(I don’t know why you have done such a thing to me. I don’t know why you have said such a thing to me. I suffer very much. I’m angry. I want you to know.)
Sentence two:
I am doing my best.
(I am practicing mindful breathing and mindful walking, generating the energy of mindfulness in order to take care of my anger, in order to bring relief, and then I will be looking deeply into my anger to see what the root of my anger is. That is to see whether it is my wrong perception that has created anger, maybe because of some of your unskillfulness.)
Sentence three:
Please help me. I need your help.
Thursday afternoon as I was doing yoga, awareness visited me and opened my heart. I had total body memory of the first night my mom was at an adult foster care home. After dropping her off, I had my best night’s rest in months.
Relief from my uncomfortable emotions because she was not in her own home totally hid from awareness her uncomfortable emotions because she was not in her own home.
Compassion for all of us washed over past, present and future.
When I was able to speak to Joel while he was in the hospital he told me he had been taken captive, was being held in some industrial compound, and some kind of experiment was being conducted on him. I said, “I understand totally that from your perspective Western medicine might feel like that, but you are in Bronson hospital. Nancy Anderson took you to the ER because you were very sick and could have died if you did not get treated immediately.”
I encouraged him to look on the walls of the room. Could he see a white board with his name on it? Yes, he could. He told me it also had the date and the names of the doctor and nurses assigned to his care.
“It isn’t aliens who are taking care of you,” I assured him.
To which he replied, “In a way, we are all aliens….”
Profound awareness.
These past years I have often been angry at Joel’s son and daughter-in-law. I have been an alien to the roots of that anger. The roots of that anger had been guilt and pain over my lack of awareness for my mom’s emotional needs during that time.
And for all of these years I had been an alien to the forgiveness and peace awareness brings.
Awareness frees us.
Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.’
By Debra Basham, on March 23, 2022 Meditation is not only permissible in the face of great suffering; it is a moral obligation.
~ Right Action in the Face of Suffering, by Dan Zigmond,
March 15, 2022 in The Lion’s Roar
Often I use the Yellow Brick Road as a platform to share what is happening. Today I am simply going to share a significant perspective: A lot is happening….
John is doing well. Obviously he is still recovering, but for his 11th week post-surgery-anniversary on Monday he walked 10,000 steps! He has 2 more cardio rehab visits here in Florida and will pick up when we get home to Michigan.
Packing (not quite yet loading), deep cleaning (not yet cleaning myself out of the door).
EVERYTHING is living metaphor.
We are in the “getting ready but not quite yet ready” phase as a collective consciousness.
I just spoke to Stacey. She is navigating sciatica pain. Not able to get comfortable to sleep; painful to sit; painful to stand. John had experienced a severe sciatica flare from the first of November until recovery with the hospitalization for the open-heart-surgery the first week of January.
Yesterday, my nephew (David HOWARD) had an amazing experience meeting HOWARD, the owner of Uniquely Gourmet: Wholesale and Private Label Craft Foods in Rusk, Texas. Today is my father’s birthday, also a HOWARD.
Today is also the birthday of our grand-daughter-in-love, Christina.
A lot is happening….
Tom Kuhlman and his wife, Delcy, have had the precious Still Waters Retreat Center which has been a part of my spiritual journey for almost 30 years. This just in from Tom about Still Waters having been sold:
Yesterday was the closing on our place. We will have a couple months to find a place and time to move. We will have a few more months to empty the barn and shop.
So far we have looked at and eliminated 12 places and are headed out to look at a “new listing”.
Before we moved to Still Waters, the State would bring us a list of “possible new places” each week. We didn’t go to all they suggested because several were in subdivisions and not what we needed. However we were looking at the 42nd on their list when the neighbor lady came out and suggested this place we have used as home for the last 33 years. This place was not for sale at the time, but when we talked to the owner……. Long story….. he “talked to the ‘MAN upstairs’ and was told to sell to us…”.
We know the Lord led us to this place 33 years ago when the State bought our house in Berrien for the new highway. That is why we believe God will find a place for us now.
We invite all of you to pray for us as we search.
A lot is happening….
By Debra Basham, on March 9, 2022 Last evening’s Group 2 was only five of us out of thirteen. I am not sure what qualifies as a quorum, but I am sure all thirteen of us were actively involved in the practice of LIFE.
Our meeting times were set at the first of the year but the evening before our meeting we received an announcement from our spiritual teacher/s: Aaron and Friends invite you to join an evening of conversation and meditation in support of Ukraine and our beloved Earth.
A few of the 13 were called to attend that gathering. I understood that completely. A couple expressed inability to attend either. I understood that as well. One person expressed a strong desire to meet as our small group AND to dedicate some of our time in support. I opened the Zoom room.
Our time together is so significant. This small band of merry (and sometimes not so merry) men and women share a commitment to awakening as we share love and compassion and encouragement.
Some conversation addressed the angst that our Tuesday territory has been affected by a change in the Deep Spring Center for Meditation teacher’s schedule, and especially that our group has had several times when a larger group event was scheduled in conflict. But where is the conflict? Is the conflict on the calendar or in our minds? Every moment of every day we have choice. We choose what lane to drive in, what to have for lunch, and what to feel and think about what we are experiencing.
As the four representatives expressed our individual perspectives on the schedule challenges and on the sense of loss of time to be together, and the missing of several members who have not made a group for quite a while, I watched my reactions. I saw compassion rise. I also saw sadness. I am certainly navigating loss. And I am not the only one. In fact, I am not even one me. I anything other than?
Is Ukraine other than me?
Is our beloved earth other than me?
Adyahanti speaks about the trained and learned way of experiencing life. The talk I listened to today is titled “The Prism of Me.”
“Egoing” is a kind of skill that we learned well, unfortunately….”
“We are brought into the erroneous conclusion that ideas of ourselves are ourselves….”
Awareness and an open heart sees the one human experience as each point of view expressed.
Today, and every day,conditions give rise to thoughts and emotions. Thoughts and emotions can become distorted into an identity. Once an identity has been formed, fear takes over and drives our thoughts and emotions.
“Even a very well-adapted me is at some level being driven by fear….”
The people of Ukraine, this beloved earth, everyone in Group 2, and every being is a reflection of LIFE/GOD/LOVE.
This morning I saw a snake as I was on my bike ride. I stopped and took some photos. I did not want to frighten the snake, but I wanted it to move so the video would show it was alive. I spoke aloud, “Don’t be scared. You are OK.” I told John I was not sure if I was talking to the snake or to myself.
Is the snake other than me?
It has been a gradual thing, taking my practice off the mat and into the moments of my life. I could watch how much we wanted things to be other than how they were. What a loss to miss loving life as it is. Sometimes pleasant, sometimes painful, sometimes not much of either.
We learned that the owner of our winter home lost his father in January. All these weeks he has been checking in with me asking how John is doing. I am feeling sad for his loss.
Is he other than me?
Whether awake or asleep,
we are in constant communication
with someone not of this world.
~ Pam and Alan Johnson
By Debra Basham, on February 27, 2022 On Friday I could feel that my blood pressure was high. I began to affirm: I choose to release this pattern within me that has contributed to this situation.
Boom!
I am 12 years old again — August 1962 — in the auto accident with my dad. I am reliving all the terror at the scene. I allow myself to feel the feelings. I begin to cry out, “Daddy, are you OK?” and to no one in particular, “Make them stop!” asking them to make the sirens stop.
Listening to an interview with Iyanla Vanzant on Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT/tapping), I put the blood pressure cuff on my arm and took my blood pressure.
I did that over and over as I invited release of this life-time pattern of fear.
My dad’s feet were in the floorboard on the driver’s side of the car, but shattered flesh from my forehead prevented my being able to see them. To the best of my memory, I did not see my dad until a day or so later when he came to the hospital to see me.
I allowed myself emotional space to cry out as I tapped.
Ilyana says one must expand and increase our emotional library. Jessica Ortner (The Tapping Solution) said it is about developing a vocabulary so we can speak out. “This is the feeling I’m having right now. I’ll get through this but right now this is what I am feeling.”
I wrote in my journal: “I am mourning. I’m feeling something from when I was five years old.”
And, “I forgive myself for believing that ______ still has power over my life.”
I took 1/2 of one of the anxiety pills my doctor prescribed.
I tapped a lot.
I cried some.
On Saturday, John had an off day and that intersected with my heightened state. We were neither truly skillful, but this morning we were both able to speak compassionately and affirm our loving connection.
Jerry Ashmore’s dharma talk was about how the Heart Sutra is a conceptual torpedo in that it demolishes dualism. Jerry said, “Every time you think you are isolated, you are delusional.”
“Form is emptiness (śūnyatā), emptiness is form.” (from the English Heart Sutra)
Nothing lasts forever. We know that. But…. as Ilanya describes it, every time we revisit the story we punish ourselves.
During the sharing after the meditation and the dharma talk one woman was saying how she was having difficulty getting free of rumination and depression. Jerry said, “The witness is free. No anxiety, no fear, no hatred.”
Totally free.
Jerry spoke about a holon. A holon is something that is simultaneously a whole in and of itself, as well as a part of a larger whole. He said each of us is a holon, simultaneously a whole as well as a part of a larger whole.
I passed along Thich Nhat Hanh’s MANTRA FOR DEALING WITH STRONG EMOTIONS:
Make sure you remember to physically “BREATHE IN” or “BREATHE OUT” at the appropriate place when reciting each line; as the actual breath in or out is part of activating the Energy.
The “operative word” of the Mantra replaces the strong emotion being worked on, with its appropriate name: Fear, Anger, Anxiety, Impatience, Judgment of self or others, etc. The example uses the word Fear. Good to remember that sometimes anger is an unknown component of the fear a person may be holding, because they have not been able to control or Fix It.
Breathing In, I am aware of the fear,
Breathing Out, I smile to the fear (yes, these are the appropriate words);
Breathing In, I recognize fear as Energy,
Breathing Out, I express Gratitude for Energy;
Breathing In, Energy and Fear are Power,
Breathing Out, I can safely hold Power;
Breathing In, Power supports Wholesome Change,
Breathing Out, I Invite That, which is for The Highest Good!
I am not sure we ever talked about it so I can only imagine my dad’s terror at the scene.
My dad I I are simultaneously a whole as well as a part of a larger whole.
Breathing Out, I Invite That, which is for The Highest Good!
Holy holons!
By Debra Basham, on February 14, 2022 February has long been celebrated as a month of romance, and St. Valentine’s Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition.
A few days ago (asking if we are to pursue having Dr. Deutsch be John’s cardiologist) I drew The Lovers Osho Zen Tarot: It is time to refresh your mind and heart and the pure fragrance can spread.
The idea of a refreshed mind and heart spreading its pure fragrance is somewhat foreign for a lot of us. Much (if not most) of the time, humans live from moment to moment on autopilot. I often observe myself reacting out of habit rather than from awareness and presence of mind.
Nonviolent Communication training evolved from Dr. Marshall B. Rosenberg’s quest to find a way of rapidly disseminating much needed peacemaking skills.
Growing up in an inner–city Detroit neighborhood Dr. Marshall Rosenberg was confronted daily with various forms of violence. Wanting to explore the causes of violence and what could be done to reduce violence, he chose to study clinical psychology and received his Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from the University of Wisconsin in 1961. In 1966 he was awarded diplomat status in clinical psychology from the American Board of Examiners in Professional Psychology. (See About Marshall B. Rosenberg)
Nonviolent communication creates a space for attention and respect in every moment.
This was all very much on my mind as Stacey and I accompanied John on one of his cardio rehab walks a few days ago. We went by one of the neighbors where a big party was happening. Cars and carts, bikes, and people everywhere.
As we went by, Stacey almost touched the guy who lives there. She called out, “I thought you were going to hand me a beer!”
I reacted.
I said I would prefer not to engage the guy who lives there. I asked if she had noticed the 3×5 foot “Come and Take It” flag flying on his golf cart. The flag has a picture of an M4 AR15 machine gun on it.
She said I was judging.
I was.
Nonviolent Communication teaches a lot about being able to observe without judging. The four foundations of NVC are:
Observe without judging. …
Express feelings. …
Express and clarify your needs. …
Express specific requests based on your feelings and needs.
Stacey has a carry permit. She is a staunch “Second Amendment Advocate.” (Her words! She changed it to second-amendment supporter.)
Interestingly, one of the most powerful lessons of life reveals itself for me as Stacey and I are doing jigsaw puzzles together. WE SEE THINGS SO DIFFERENTLY.
Our most recent puzzle demonstrated these differences and the COLLECTIVE strength that grows from them more clearly than any puzzle we have ever done together.
There were some fascinating “odd” shapes.
Very complex, very interrelated, very unique.
It was challenging.
It was very unique in that the pieces did not connect in a traditional way, they would just rest against each other.
Stacey was challenged in the areas that were more landscape in style; I was challenged in the areas where she would say, “This is the cat,” and I was not even aware we had a cat in this puzzle! It would often take a half-dozen pieces to be assembled around a unique piece before it was clear where that piece itself went.
Humans are very complex, very interrelated, and very unique.
I can’t help but dream of our collective humanity being able to raise our consciousness sufficiently that we smooth our rough edges so our pure fragrance can spread….
By Debra Basham, on February 2, 2022 Certain times of life and/or experiences of life seem AMPLIFIED.
In Hard Pivot: Embrace Change. Find Purpose. Show Up Fully. Apolo Ohno says every person will have an experience that changes their life forever.
This has certainly been the case with John’s surprise open-heart surgery.
In Hard Pivot, Ohno suggests we make the best of these times by practicing.
Gratitude: A daily practice that lets us maintain perspective, cultivate empathy, and alleviate stress
Giving: Selflessly giving our time, attention, and resources to others
Grit: How to develop mental stamina, resilience, and toughness to persevere through hard times
Gearing Up: Ways to prepare ourselves to meet challenges with flexibility and grace
Go: Developing the courage to take risks, learn from success and failure, and come back stronger
Ohno says clearly, “Though we can’t usually predict when we’ll need to reinvent ourselves, sticking to a daily practice will prepare us when we face our next big challenge.”
One of the demonstrations of this is our walking practice. We began walking for health back in the 1980’s when we participated in “Dump Your Plump” with friends and members of Stevensville United Methodist Church. For the most part, walking has been a steady companion all of these years.
While not as obviously directly impacting John’s recovery, our habit of spending less than we earned contributed to our being here in the sun and warm rather than in Michigan during white-out conditions today.
This morning I baked cookies and John delivered some to our friend, Richie. Richie is supporting his wife as she undergoes chemo. I wrote on the package: A guy should be fortified while he is supporting the wife he loves.
As I am writing this post, I am listening to Kyle Gray’s live event titled: GIFTS AND GUIDANCE FROM YOUR ANGELS. The gratitude you feel stimulates a light in the middle of your chest until this light washes over and through your physical body. You are encouraged to bask in it. It has the capacity to shine in darkness. Call that light up and out, for the greatest good for all.
What comes next may not be obvious from every point of view, but perhaps these guardian angels have a broader perspective.
Kyle is speaking of cutting the cords by speaking your intention, “I am the keeper of my mind and my body. Wherever love is present, fear is a stranger, and love is present in me.”
He says when you are feeling safe, affirm that by saying, “I am safe. I am free.”
Other words might be used to speak about this. Without a doubt, spiritual or esoteric practices speak of angels. So do some religions. Angels may be what native peoples call “ancestors.”
“Before you were in this body, before you were in this lifetime, you were ONE with divine love.”
Kyle shares opening of many spiritual experiences growing up, including personal close-encounters with angels.
“You have felt called,” Kyle goes on.
Perhaps you have felt called to spirituality, religion, art, nature.
“Your angels will always speak to you in the language most familiar to you,” Kyle assures us.
“When it comes to your having your direct connection with your angels, it is important to pray first not last,” he continues.
“Instead of saying, please angels help me with this, pray, thank you angels for helping me.”
Sue Mierau shared a gorgeous snow photo today on Facebook.
“Don’t just pray when things go wrong,” we are reminded.
“When you are in prayer, make it a space of gratitude.”
There is beauty in every season of our life, whether the weather is sunny or snowy.
What comes next after summer is autumn.
What comes next after autumn is winter.
What comes next after winter is spring.
It occurs to me that what comes next after gratitude is the balance of Ohno’s list: giving, grit, gearing up, and go.
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