By Debra Basham, on May 11, 2018 “Daily the world grows smaller,
leaving understanding
the only place where peace can find a home.”
— Huston Smith
In 1958, Huston Smith wrote “The Religions of Man”, which has been a standard textbook in college-level comparative religion classes for half a century. In 1991, it was revised and expanded and given the gender-neutral title “The World’s Religions.” The two versions together have sold more than three million copies. I first fell in love with Huston Smith when I saw an interview on TV while I was going through the ordination process to become a Minister of Reunion.
“It is the most important book in comparative religious studies ever,” Stephen Prothero, a professor of religion at Boston University, said in an interview.
This morning I was having a conversation with a dear friend. She had been frustrated navigating some computer responsibilities she was finding challenging. Even on our easiest days, our days are filled with news of challenges. I opened my email after hanging up the phone and saw this quotation from a colleague who writes a daily inspiration message:
“I am grateful for all my problems. After each one was overcome, I became stronger and more able to meet those that were still to come. I grew in all my difficulties.” James Cash Penney, American businessman and entrepreneur; 1875-1971 (from greatest-quotations.com
I quickly sent my friend a message: “Oh, wow, this opening quotation is so timely! One friend was vacationing in Rome with her husband and now he is hospitalized there…. A colleague just cut the tip of her finger off as she prepares to start a new career as a massage therapist…. My daughter’s father-in-law just lost a toe, a foot, and now a leg to diabetes.”
My conversation this morning got around to the importance of making a commitment to be kind to ourselves, as we would be with others. The woman who was frustrated with the computer tasks would have been compassionate toward another colleague; the woman who cut herself would not have called her child injured in an accident ‘stupid’; and neither should we hold these attitudes toward ourselves.
I met Alan Seale in 1997, right after he wrote On Becoming a 21st Century Mystic. I still hear him saying, “In the 21st Century we will become mystics or we will become nothing at all.”
His was “the first book to fully integrate spiritual awakening with intuitive development, ON BECOMING A 21ST-CENTURY MYSTIC brings together timeless wisdom of ancient traditions with practical spirituality for today. It leads the reader on a very personal journey of spiritual self-discovery – a journey free of dogma or attachment to any particular belief system. A ground-breaking book, it offers clear and practical tools for sacred living, including over 40 exercises and meditations, in-depth chakra exploration, personal stories, and powerful techniques for heightening intuitive skills. ON BECOMING A 21ST-CENTURY MYSTIC is your personal guidebook for spiritual living in the new millennium.”
My friend asked me why mystical consciousness is an option for common folks now, not just a few masters. Ken Wilber has done an amazing job of helping us recognize the stages of consciousness. He used colors to help us understand the way we think. Information has changed the way we view the world. We see how connected everything is. What we think/say/do affects the whole.
The mystical me realizes there is no OTHER.
“And therefore, all of those for whom authentic transformation has deeply unseated their souls must, I believe, wrestle with the profound moral obligation to shout form the heart—perhaps quietly and gently, with tears of reluctance; perhaps with fierce fire and angry wisdom; perhaps with slow and careful analysis; perhaps by unshakable public example—but authentically always and absolutely carries a a demand and duty: you must speak out, to the best of your ability, and shake the spiritual tree, and shine your headlights into the eyes of the complacent. You must let that radical realization rumble through your veins and rattle those around you.
Alas, if you fail to do so, you are betraying your own authenticity. You are hiding your true estate. You don’t want to upset others because you don’t want to upset your self. You are acting in bad faith, the taste of a bad infinity.
Because, you see, the alarming fact is that any realization of depth carries a terrible burden: those who are allowed to see are simultaneously saddled with the obligation to communicate that vision in no uncertain terms: that is the bargain. You were allowed to see the truth under the agreement that you would communicate it to others (that is the ultimate meaning of the bodhisattva vow). And therefore, if you have seen, you simply must speak out. Speak out with compassion, or speak out with angry wisdom, or speak out with skillful means, but speak out you must.
And this is truly a terrible burden, a horrible burden, because in any case there is no room for timidity. The fact that you might be wrong is simply no excuse: You might be right in your communication, and you might be wrong, but that doesn’t matter. What does matter, as Kierkegaard so rudely reminded us, is that only by investing and speaking your vision with passion, can the truth, one way or another, finally penetrate the reluctance of the world. If you are right, or if you are wrong, it is only your passion that will force either to be discovered. It is your duty to promote that discovery—either way—and therefore it is your duty to speak your truth with whatever passion and courage you can find in your heart. You must shout, in whatever way you can.”
― Ken Wilber, One Taste
By Debra Basham, on May 4, 2018 Many of you already have received an update on the excision of a melanoma on my low back last week. (See Photoshop Fun.) The excision went well. This was a mole that turned into melanoma, it had not come from anywhere else and had not spread. The doctor said if we were talking stages, they could call this a stage zero. I can’t see it, but when the bandages are changed the report is it looks good. It itches, so I know it is healing. Stitches come out on May 14. I will have a full-body scan that day and every three months for the next two years just to be sure this is the end of that.
Last evening we received news from our daughter, Stacey, that Doug’s (our son-in-law’s) father is having foot amputation today with additional surgery to remove the leg just below the knee on Monday. This is due to uncontrolled diabetes. Love and prayers for Doug and his dad, Jim, and all the family. We all call Jim “Pops.”
A friend lost her twelve year-old golden retriever, Chaco. His was a miraculous life as he was born with megaesophagus. According to Chaco’s owner, “Megaesophagus is a fatal disease where the esophagus does not have nerves to signal peristalsis; therefore food stays in the esophagus which stretches until it’s as useless as a worn out rubber band. He was also born on Valentines Day with a heart full of love and dogged determination. Chaco survived; endured; stabilized and then flourished with his condition.” Special diet, timely exercise, and hours of Tellington TTouch™ each day allowed them to have an amazing life together. Chaco will be missed but remembered and loved….
The following paragraph is from my meditation teacher. Barbara is deaf and her husband of 50 years had a massive stroke in March. He is in a rehab facility and she is living alone for the first time since losing her hearing several decades ago. Eighteen months ago, Sulu, her then 14-year-old collie/ hearing-ear service dog died of old age. On Sunday, May 6, she will add a new member to her family. I think her post will inspire you to keep on keeping on whatever is going on:
I was blessed to look on the internet at collie kennels in Michigan, and turned up Banner in western Michigan, a-just-2-year-old tricolor collie (like all our past dogs). His owner, who bred him, sells all the dogs she breeds, maybe 6 or 8 litters a year. She had kept him to become a stud dog in her small kennel because she felt he was so special; beautiful, intelligent, eager to please, sweet and loving. When I approached her about whether she had a mature dog, she said maybe; she took a week to consider since she had planned to keep him, then wrote to me that I could buy him.
She said, “Your need is great. He will be a blessing to you.”
The breeder went on to say it was a blessing to Banner too, not just to be a pet, but to live a life of such service and connection to Barbara and her husband. Barbara and her husband will celebrate their Golden Anniversary on Saturday, May 5.
It seems life can be strewn with challenges almost daily. However, we are always at choice about our attitude.
This week, like every other week, will have sunshine and rain.
These moments, like no others, will be here and then gone.
This life, like all lives, matters.
We too can experience joy and blessing even in turbulent waters.
Earlier in the week, I was playing solitaire while waiting for Lowe’s to deliver my new washer and dryer. I usually win, so was a bit surprised and annoyed that I lost three games in a row. I switched to a game where you try to get every card in the deck turned up before the fourth King. After “winning” that gave, I noticed the King of Hearts was still in the box!
Any time you feel like you might be losing the game of life, make sure you are playing with a full deck. Remember every card matters….
By Debra Basham, on April 28, 2018 Sometimes I notice myself deciding I am where I want to be. Sometimes where I am to be is very clear. My poetry group meets in Florida. When I am in Michigan, we FaceTime me in for the gathering. This week, afterwards they all went out for dinner. I wasn’t there, or was I…
When I saw the photo, I asked my brother-in-love, Larry Britton, to Photoshop me into the group. Larry is an amazingly talented artist. See his masterful result below.
I sent the new photo back to my poetry group saying, “I love being with you all!” Nobody caught it.
A couple of days later I wrote back asking if anyone had noticed I had been Photoshopped in. Then we got some laughs.
This is a big week in my world. My grandson and his wife are setting out on the first leg of an amazing Airbnb adventure. Another friend left with a team from our local hospice to share and support a sister hospice in Kenya. A wonderful woman friend met with an oncologist. She is scheduled for surgery in a couple of weeks, and the rest will be relealed. I watched, The Zookeeper’s Wife, a powerful film based in Warsaw, Poland, during the Nazi occupation. Perhaps I was especially affected by this film because I love animals, or maybe more so because I know a couple who escaped Poland during that time with their infant daughter and now live here in Michigan (See Electric Heater).
On Monday, April 30, I will be having an excision on my low back to remove a melanoma. I had noticed a mole changing shape and the spot was biopsied while I was in the office with John on April 17.
When I looked up “skin” and “cancer” in Louise Hay, Heal Your Body, these are the affirmations: I feel safe to be me. I lovingly forgive and release the past. I choose to fill my world with joy. I love and approve of myself.
Very often when working with someone clearing blocked energy I share the metaphor of a bubble. Everyone would agree it is there, they can all see it. However, when the bubble bursts it is just gone.
That is exactly what I am seeing with all of this….
(Note: The excision went well. It was a mole that turned into melanoma. It was a primary, meaning it hadn’t come from anywhere else. It had not spread. The doctor said if we were talking stages, they could call this a stage zero. I can’t see it, but when the bandages are changed the report is it’s healing very well. Stitches come out on May 14. I will have a full-body scan that day and every three months for the next two years just to be sure this is the end of that.)
By Debra Basham, on April 22, 2018 A local restaurant offers all-you-care to-eat fish dinners on Friday evening. We were meeting my sister and brother-in-love early and we arrived first, way before the place got busy.
“I love your necklace,” our waitress placing menus on our table. “What can I get you to drink?”
Slipping the charger off off my neck, I showed her that it is actually a narrow band of metal any pendant can be worn on. “This charger had belonged to the daughter of a friend of mine who has been in our grief journey group for years. It was given to me in gratitude for the support over those years after her daughter’s death.”
I went on to share with the waitress about the charm. (I wrote about the charm in Sacred Stories. See Charm.) The charm had been on my mother’s “grandma’s brag bracelet” and I found it in my clothes dryer 13 years to the day after my mom’s Celebration of Life.
The waitress said, “That gives me chills! My dad passed too young and I still miss him so much. My daughter was young. A couple of years after he passed my daughter asked me if he visits me. I told her he had not. My daughter said Grandpa visits her and they have such a good time.”
After we had dinner and had paid our checks and were preparing to leave, the waitress came over and gave me a hug.
My necklace is not impressive in a worldly sense.
She must have had a prompting from spirit to mention it at all. I am grateful she did and I am grateful I was willing to share my sacred story so she could share hers.
You have to love the Sacred Stories and how we are all changed when we see the truth of the Divine in our lives….
By Debra Basham, on April 12, 2018 The future won’t always be fair.
But we can try.
We can care.
We can choose to connect.
It can be better if we let it.
~ Seth Godin
Many of my days are spent bearing witness to the clarity secure within our souls as our personalities fling destructive BS into our lives. One recent conversation went something like this:
“You never invite me to Christmas.”
“I don’t even have Christmas.”
“I am never included.”
“You are the one who moved away.”
Pain, upon pain.
I claim again the gift of knowing that under any message filled with blame and accusation is a legitimate need even if it is being expressed unskillfully.
What a relief….
I love poetry. Something about the way a person shows you a feeling without saying what that feeling is excites the part of you that thrives on curiosity. Too much of the time our logical mind tries to run the show. We plan. We manipulate. We hide.
In a poem the words are expressions of the heart, being heard by the heart.
I had not intended the following poem to give away so much of my own heart, but it does.
The prompt is from The Crafty Poet: A Portable Workshop, by Diane Lockward. Instructions were to choose an odd job. One example was snake milker’s daughter. We were to jot down some relevant language, choosing words that are specific to this job and sound great.
Medium Mayhem
Secrets slip into my awareness unheeded
from somewhere or someone
Listening hands hear, “Bell’s Palsy.”
Babies believed long dead
babble difficult directives
“Tell her I am not dead.”
Fifty years she has carried abortion’s guilt
Searing pain shoots down my leg
Relevant to ask, “Is this mine?”
The task is always to realize
we are energy
swimming in one sea
Hearing, seeing, feeling, knowing
not always easy to distinguish
fact from fiction
Fantasy or wishful thinking
the taunting
fortunately only on occasion
Echoes of accusations
hang over (or come from
my head
Ghostly guesses
and grisly gallows
shake confidence at core
What do you do?
generates no easy answer
“I talk to dead people.”
Likely not heard
at the dinner table
of the mentally stable
Truth be told
I don’t just
talk to dead people
They also talk
to me
No blasphemy!
Mystery
mocking mayhem
Famous or infamous
Sinner or saint
life as a spiritual sensitive
is understandably quaint
Debra Basham 4-8-2018 (WC 153)
Perhaps the Deep Spring Center “Thought for Today” (April 12, 2018) is the perfect closing for this blog post.
“Do not despair that you have no vision. The vision is right here in your own radiant hearts, your kindness and your commitment to your practice. There is not one of you that does not vision a more harmonious world. Hold that in front of you and know that it is possible and then just ask yourself, ‘What will support this?’ Do not be afraid. Hold your vision ahead of you. There is a saying, ‘The dharma takes care of those who take care of the dharma.’ Love will find a way.”
(See Message, Subtext, Metamessage in Healing with Language by Joel P. Bowman and Debra Basham.)
By Debra Basham, on April 8, 2018 Putting over 40 years of journals into the bottom cupboard of the new library closet we had installed this winter I was suddenly overwhelmed by the sacredness of reflection.
It has been too long since I wrote in my paper journal. The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of preparations, travel, arrival, clearing the chaos and construction dust so I’ve also not drawn a divination card or had much pondering time.
I’ve missed myself.
April 7, 2018 was Linda B’s wedding day. As she and Larry openly reflected upon their continued love for their previous spouses (Dan for Linda, and Joyce for Larry), something profound stirred within me and likely within all those who attended, and also possibly in you as you are reading this post now.
As fate would have it, April 7 was also the day Linda’s clergy “Insights” article was published in the local newspaper. Here is a quotation from her article shared as part of the story of our coming together in their ceremony:
Jamie Anderson said this about grief and it helps to explain what Larry and I have experienced. “Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.” Larry and I found a place for our grief – our love – to go.
The ceremony was rich with music: Elfie is a gifted pianist who also happens to be blind so unable to see sheet music. She learned the songs at the rehearsal by hearing them. Pamela is a singer and songwriter and our soul sister. Dave is brother of the bride. In fact, all of Linda’s siblings closed the wedding ceremony with a benediction sung to the tune of Edelweiss from the Sound of Music.
Ritual was meticulously matched to message and gratitude was the theme.
Many expressed having experienced Linda’s and Larry’s wedding as a vehicle for memories and massive amounts of hugs. Circles of caring, including our local “Caring Circle” Hospice (of which Linda previously served as President and CEO) overlapped over and over, wrapping us all securely in love beyond loss.
We witnessed wonder. We were moved. We felt and many of us wept.
As I left the church, basking in the palpable warmth of divine love, turning my minivan north on Washington Avenue, a single vehicle was in front of me at the 4-way stop. The license plated caught my attention and took away my breath. D-A-N were the first three letters, followed by three numbers. I cannot tell you the numbers. I was not granted time enough to fish my iPhone from deep within my purse and snap a picture. While I may always wonder what the numbers were, I think you will agree there is no question about the evidence of that message from/of Dan. It is as though he was thanking me for being part of Linda’s spiritual journey.
Congratulations are definitely in order….
Enjoy reading the unedited version of Linda’s article:
Herald Palladium
Insights Column
Rev. Linda Beushausen
April 7, 2018
Today is my wedding day! I knew this was to be the theme of my Insights column this time. I have been a widow for over 16 years and although I secretly (and sometimes not so secretly) hoped to find a special partner with whom to share the rest of my life, I wondered if it would ever happen. I mightily rejected the thought of another partner for the first 8 or 9 years after my husband, Dan, died, because I couldn’t imagine loving anyone else. I couldn’t imagine letting go of the love I still had for him, and I couldn’t imagine that someone else could take his place. And, if truth be told, I was still grieving and knew that grief would always be a part of my journey, so how could I think about another relationship? I knew my journey of grief was sacred and it was a huge part of my spiritual journey, and I wasn’t sure someone else would understand that. Amidst all of my questions and contemplations, I clung to the words from the end of 1st Corinthians 13 (The Message) that I had paraphrased and brought to mind over and over again since 2001: “When I can’t understand what’s happening, don’t know where things are headed, or I’m not sure what to do next, there are three things I CAN do: I can trust steadily, I can hope unswervingly, and I can love extravagantly.” These words have carried me through so many times the last 16+ years; Trust, Hope, and LOVE! The whispers of Spirit in my heart and soul told me that over and over again that there was someone special I would meet and I needed to be open, patient, and trusting. I poured myself into my work and my family, both of which gave my life richness and meaning, and I trusted the still small voice within that said someday a man would come into my life that would love and accept me, just as I am now and who I will become as I follow my conscious spiritual journey.
It happened, seemingly “out of the blue”, last April and immediately I knew he was very special. His name is Larry and he was also widowed and had some of the same concerns I did about how he could continue to have such strong love for his late wife, Joyce, and whether a new partner could be present with him in his own journey of grief. We both sensed immediately that there was a Divine purpose growing within us individually and as a couple. We each had a sense of hope and an even deeper sense of gratitude and awe. We had a knowing, deep within our souls, that Joyce and Dan were also a part of bringing us together. Before each of them died, they had poured out their hearts to us as they had each asked us to be open to loving another person and allowing another person to love us. At that time for each of us separately, neither Larry nor I could think about that, but their prayers and desires for us to find another loving partner, did not die with them. How awe-inspiring that amidst the season of Easter a year ago, we met and immediately knew there was something special happening. Love was beginning to bloom again and we didn’t have to stop loving Dan and Joyce! But how was this possible? How was it possible for me to love Dan deeply and Larry to love Joyce deeply, and still have such deep stirrings of love within us for each other? As we nurtured our relationship, we began to understand that we were not called to stop loving Dan and Joyce and we were not called to deny our grief, but rather that we WERE called to let our journey of grief continue as we allowed ourselves to love again.
Jamie Anderson said this about grief and it helps to explain what Larry and I have experienced. “Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.” Larry and I found a place for our grief – our love – to go.
Our deep love, and the sense that we knew immediately we were to be together in marriage, was hard to explain to our family and friends at first but we KNEW we were brought together as a loving, committed, couple for reasons we would understand more fully over time. We understood that it all happened faster than some could understand according to societal norms, and we also knew that our love would be an example for others. Amidst it all, we trusted, we hoped, and we loved. God brought us through the challenges of this last year and now today is our wedding day!
This is what is written in our wedding bulletin today:
We are blessed by so many amazing people in our lives and each of you here is among them. There were so many more people we wish we could have invited but we trust they understand and are loving and supporting us from afar. We could have slipped away quietly and gotten married but our lives are so rich with family and friends that we knew we wanted to share this time with others.
Both of us have known times of highs and lows in our lives and as we remember them, we are aware that we have been immensely blessed by both the highs and the lows. Our lowest times were when we each faced the death of our beloved spouses – Dan for Linda and Joyce for Larry. Grief was, and continues to be, a sacred journey for each of us in our own ways and it was the sacred journey of grief that brought us here today. Our hearts and souls have ached with sadness and despair and through love and trust we found healing. Although we both doubted we would ever find the kind of deep love we shared before, this is exactly what has happened! Our love for each other is profound, and yet does not diminish the deep love we each have for Dan and Joyce. Both Dan and Joyce wanted this for us and we believe that their prayers were answered when we were brought together. We have found, beyond question that love NEVER ends. It continues on as long as we open our hearts to love and in a special way when we open ourselves to loving each other completely – heart and soul – in marriage. This is why marriage is so important to us. We have found, beyond question, that when we don’t know what else to do, we are called to trust, hope, and love.
We have been given the gift of Love again and it is our promise to the God of Love, to each other, to our family, and to each of you, to show our gratitude every day by loving each other in a way that is contagious! We want to pass it on!!
I invite all of you to think about how you express love in your life. Express that love extravagantly and with trust and hope, in everything you do, and in the way that only you can. And then……pass it on!
By Debra Basham, on March 27, 2018 Preparations are underway to head to Smyrna tomorrow. We never say or think we are leaving Pine Island after enjoying “the season” here—we are going to see the grandkids!
Recently my brother-in-law experienced the death of the woman he had cared for the past five years. He was committed to her. They married in November, so he could insure her wishes could be carried out. She wanted to stay in her home, and she did. I sent him a snapshot of the empty cupboard here on Bounty Lane saying, “Reminding both of us an empty space sits in the field of Infinite Possibilities.”
Last week I rode my bike to the auto repair shop near here where a resident cat I like to visit lives. His name is Sonny.
When I came through the door, helmet on my head, Sonny was up on the counter being petted by a customer while the owner of the shop did the paperwork. Sonny made eye contact with me and I said to him, in my high-pitched kitty-loving voice, “Yes, you’re the one I came to see.”
Sonny shot down off that counter, right out from from under the customer’s hands, and ran over to me. The customer said to the shop owner, “Well, he obviously knows her!”
It was my first visit this season and I had such a feeling of nostalgia wondering why I had waited so long to do something I love so much. I wrote this poem. Many of you will relate.
Meow Musings
Don’t get your dander up
Sonny’s just a pussy
not at all a push-over
even rather fussy
He fancies petting
and so do I
rubbing him the right way
produces a sigh
It’s not all pretense
this is genuine love
any time kitty time
is a cut above
Feline fancier
that I am
that cat got me
out of a jam
Sour mood, bad food
whatever ails you
fingers on fur
chases the blues
Debra Basham 3/24/2018
Amidst it all, we must make time (we will never find time) to do the things that bless our hearts and minds. I will go to meditation today while John goes to play music. He is at shuffleboard this morning. Everything will get done.
And Deep Spring Center’s Thought for Today:
“Try as hard as you will, you cannot hold the world from changing. You cannot hold other people or yourself from changing. To try to do that with yourself so as to please another is unloving to yourself, asking yourself not to be true to yourself and your experience. It’s also an unloving to another because it gives them a false hope that you are as they may try to make you to be. The greatest gift you can give is the willingness to have enough love and respect for another not to live your life around their fear.”
By Debra Basham, on March 18, 2018 
Time has a way of slipping through our fingers. Looking back, we ask where it has gone. Of course, time means nothing at all.
A woman who lived with us for several years had an old cassette with a song by that title. It was so long ago I don’t honestly know who did that or what the rest of the words are in her version, but I found a powerful song by that title by Lisa Mitchell.
“Time Means Nothing At All” Click on the title to listen, or just read the lyrics.
Do you know that I spend my days,
walking the streets and lanes,
looking through window panes,
in and out of quaint cafes.
Me and myself,
we have an ongoing war,
there is an ongoing love affair,
giving up, keeping score.
Well I hope that we find each other,
before I lose myself,
I hope that you get to me,
before my own world does.
See, me and myself,
we have an ongoing war,
there is an ongoing love affair,
giving up, keeping score.
And time means nothing at all,
our minds are stronger than we give them credit for,
Distance means nothing at all.
Do you know that I spend my days,
walking the streets and lanes,
looking through window panes,
in and out of quaint cafes.
Me and myself,
we have an ongoing war,
there is an ongoing love affair,
giving up, keeping score.
Well I hope that we find each other,
before I lose myself,
I hope that you get to me,
before my own world does.
See, me and myself,
we have an ongoing war,
there is an ongoing love affair,
giving up, keeping score.
And time means nothing at all,
our minds are stronger than we give them credit for,
Distance means nothing at all.
Most interesting to me is the timing of my remembering this. Last evening a friend shared the work of Ross Rosenberg: Narcissism, Co-dependence, and the Self-love Deficit Disorder. Wow…. Rosenberg has established new definitions of some challenging personality problems.
For example, “Self-love Deficit Disorder” is his term for co-dependency. You can appreciate that these issues are on continuum. As you learn in Psychology 101, it is easy to see yourself in the descriptions of the pathology wherever you are on his “continuum of self” theory. Rosenberg addresses a pathological loneliness that fuels a pull to relationships that don’t work but are difficult to extricate yourself from. In one interview, he uses a term I had never heard of, Gaslighting.
Gaslighting is best understood in the 1944 film of that name starring Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman. Gaslighting is a manipulative, conscious, malicious covert strategy which convinces another they have a problem that does not truly exist.
We can all benefit from an awareness of who and how we really are. Non-pathological levels of narcissism and co-dependency exist in each of us and being able to see what triggers us is crucial to being genuinely healthy. We can identify real problems we have had relating and choose to be self-loving enough to navigate our relationships honestly and skillfully.
We all have a history, and most of us were gaslit, but when it comes to developing true self-love time means nothing at all…
(See Psychology Today: 7-Stages of Gaslighting in Relationship)
By Debra Basham, on March 8, 2018 When I saw this photo and quotation from 11:11 Awakening Code on my sister’s Facebook page, I resonated to the truth and once again appreciated Emotional Freedom Technique, also known as EFT or just “tapping.”
I have been participating in the 2018 World Tapping Summit for the last ten days. Learn more at thetappingsolution.com. What I value about the Summit is the wide variety of helpful subjects and applications that are appropriate for tapping. Tapping is easy, it is available, and it is powerful.
Next month I will have the honor of introducing teachers to tapping as a way of bringing a better learning experience to their students. Always, it begins with us.
A few days ago our daughter, Stacey, got a call from her husband in the middle of the night. She was visiting us as he began wearing a heart monitor for seven days to see what was happening while his heart was out of normal sinus rhythm. He has been being treated for AFib for several years, but has been out of rhythm for a few weeks now. Shortly after getting the monitor hooked up and falling asleep, he got the call that he needed to go to ER immediately. I’m sure he was not calm, but he did tell the doctor who called that this had been going on for a couple of weeks and since he felt fine could he safely wait until morning and call his cardiologist. He did that, BUT the cardiologist did not call him back all day.
It was nearing 5:00 pm when Stacey, understandably more stressed about things because she was not there with him, called the doctor’s office and rattled some chains. The long and short of it is that the office did not return his call immediately because they had more information. They knew what his heart rate was. While it was rapid enough to warrant the midnight call for liability purposes, it was not higher than might have been expected for someone out of rhythm.
Stacey was obviously relieved and also annoyed.
This is where tapping comes in. We often are dealing with life’s circumstances we cannot control. The layers of illusion are burned away moment-to-moment and day-by-day. Life may not settle or unfold in a smooth path to the finish line. However, always the truth of who and what we really are reveals itself in those circumstances, not in spite of them.
By Debra Basham, on March 3, 2018 There is a hard truth to be told: before spring becomes beautiful, it is plug ugly, nothing but mud and muck.
I have walked in the early spring through fields that will suck your boots off,
a world so wet and woeful it makes you yearn for the return of ice.
But in that muddy mess, the conditions for rebirth are being created.
~ Parker Palmer
No phrase brings me peace of mind any quicker than “Spring always follows winter.” In Michigan this year, as many other areas of the U.S., this is certainly a welcome thought. Spring is on the way.
In the Imagine Healing process you use your imagination to generate detailed images of the stages for what you desire: short-term goal, mid-term goal, long-term goal. Although it won’t happen exactly as you imagine it, because you are able to have seen yourself surviving and/or thriving, your body and mind and spirit know how to do that.
I’m thrilled to say that the digital version of the steps of Imagine Healing for preparing for surgery is available on Kindle for $2.99 (https://www.amazon.com/Imagine-Healing-Guided-Imagery-Help-ebook/dp/B013EYIK3W).
I’m even more thrilled to say this process is not limited to surgery or even to medical or physical challenges. That is what Parker Palmer’s quotation really inspires in us.
Because the fields of life (relationships, finances, attitudes, culture) are so wet and woeful, although it almost makes you yearn for the return of ice, the conditions for rebirth are being created by the current circumstances. Our lives—our world—is ready for us to vision the improvement we long for in all areas of our lives.
Spring always follows winter….
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