Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old Time is still a-flying;
And this same flower that smiles today
Tomorrow will be dying.
The glorious lamp of heaven, the sun,
The higher he’s a-getting,
The sooner will his race be run,
And nearer he’s to setting.
~ Robert Herrick
My fingers have been missing in action from the keyboard as I have enjoyed spending time with a precious friend. We played dominoes, went sightseeing, dined with decadence, and shared about dealing with pain.
Today I am catching up.
This is the beginning of the February 6, 2019 daily thought of David J. Bloyd:
“Memories— the one thing that can never be taken away from us. Make lots of them! “
—Catherine Pulsifer, Canadian author; age not provided
wiseoldsayings.com (website)
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But be careful…very careful…because it’s just as easy to form a bad memory as it is a good one. I recall a story I read many years ago. A family was on a trip in their car, carefully planned regarding timing and distances, and on-target to fulfill those plans. Their little boy was in the back in his car seat playing with his favorite stuffed toy. His window was open to give him fresh air. Suddenly he cried out that his toy was gone. The father asked where it went. “Out the window”, the boy replied. Now the father had three choices: Chew the little boy out and keep driving; just keep driving and let the little boy suffer the loss; stop, turn around, and go back to look for the toy. He chose the last option.
Later, when with friends, the wife told the story. One of the friends asked the man “Why? Why did you ruin your schedule over an inexpensive teddy bear?”
The father smiled and said “Because the toy was his favorite.”
Now why is that important?
Because whatever choice he took, it would have created a memory for the little boy—either a sad one or a marvelous one. We have future memories in our control. Whatever we do today we’ll re-live tomorrow.
Reliving pleasant things is very pleasant. I have been doing some of that around my last week. Reliving unpleasant things can be even more unpleasant than the experience itself.
My friend, Sheilana Massey, wrote Peace Has No Space for Memories. The book encourages us to live in the moment of right now, without dragging in the past or living in the future. She says we can live with Love for what is, not for what was or what will be. From this space our planet will move into Peace, Love and Joy for all Creation.
The Buddha taught that we cannot prevent pain, but we do not have to suffer. “In life, we cannot always control the first arrow. However, the second arrow is our reaction to the first. And with this second arrow comes the possibility of choice.” (A search for ‘the second arrow’ will yield lots of pages, or check out How the Buddhist metaphor of ‘the second arrow’ can help you to be nicer to yourself.)
This is often summarized as, “Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.”
My friend is enduring a lot of pain.
Amidst the pain, however, she is ecstatic about her new life with her new husband. She eats with enthusiasm. She loves music. She laughs a lot.
My daughter is teaching a class at her church. The assignment was to identify something you know as absolute truth. It is an amazing experience to look at what you believe and why you believe what you believe.
The absolute truth I came up with years ago was that life does not begin at birth or end at death. I was naïve about how much holding this truth central in my awareness would change my beliefs.
Absolute truth is true across platforms. For example, the truth that light dispels darkness. We certainly experienced this truth standing in Mammoth Cave. All lights were turned off. We stood in pitch black before our guide lit one small match. It was incredible how much that tiny flame illuminated the space.
“This too shall pass,” is another truth we talked about.
You may appreciate watching the talk ‘How Do You Define Truth?’ put out by the C.S Lewis Institute. The Institute is a nonprofit organization designed to develop disciples who will articulate, defend and live their faith in Christ in personal and public life.
The definition of truth given in this talk: A statement is true when it says what is is, or what is not is not. A statement is false when it says what is is not, or what is not is.
Other comments about truth include: Reality supports the claim truth makes.
Think for a moment about a thought like justice or love.
I appreciated the talk. Opinions can be fair minded. Reasonable people can differ about their opinions.
Truth is said to have three facets: Truth is descriptive; has meaning and application; and is prescriptive.
This past week I sat with two other poets. We have been meeting to write and share. After about an hour of writing, the discussion that followed began to paint the illusion of distance between us. Watching the illusion of this distance expand, I spoke of what I was sensing.
One of the women said, “I think what you are feeling is coming from me.” She went on to share the pain she has felt being ‘right-brained, living in a left-brained world.’ She described how she coped with the pressure of formal education by becoming a people-pleaser. She said she did whatever was necessary to gain approval.
I could feel myself holding space. Almost breathlessly, I watched these two women I respect and love speak from their perspectives.
As I sat holding space, I was aware of my own experience of not being allowed to attend high school because I was a female and married. John was a male and married, so he was allowed to attend.
What is truth?
That which cannot be argued with.
May our opinions — even those justified by truth — be recognized as opinions and not be confused or claimed as absolute truth.
Today is my birthday. I LOVE birthday ritual. This morning I wrote in my journal: Today is my birthday. And Wayne’s. It seems significant Claudia is feeling sad. She said Wayne always said, “It is what it is.”
What ritual is honest for me today?
I hear: “Draw a card.”
I draw a card. Angelic Messenger Card #12 Forgiveness.
Accepting responsibility for your life; releasing blame and the judgment of others. Immense beauty and opportunity live beneath your old emotional scars.
This time in your life represents the final pass-through for many of these persisting lessons.
You can truly know and appreciate only your own life’s journey and perspective.
Pay attention to the thoughts you have as you fall asleep ad those that are on your mind as you wake up. These thoughts embody the situations and the people needing your forgiveness.
“I forgive you, and I forgive me for being caught in the process of change and for our being unable to see each other clearly.”
Angelic Messenger Cards: Divine Guidance for Personal Healing and Spiritual Discovery by Meredith L. Young-Sowers.
“It is what it is.”
I draw a card. #54 Epona’s Wild Daughter, from The Fairies’ Oracle (by Brian Froud and Jessica Macbeth), in the reversed position.
“The wise person prays for guidance and actively seeks it. The answers we truly need are to be found deeply within ourselves. What do our nightmares tell us?”
The phone ringing woke me up this morning. I was dreaming I was at a training but had left the classroom and gotten distracted futzing in the kitchen. A little boy was now with me as I was hustling to get back to the classroom. Suddenly I realized the class had already ended. I had been thinking it did not end until 3:00, but it had ended at 2:00.
I draw one more card. Page of Water: Understanding from the Osho Zen Tarot: The Transcendental Game Of Zen.
“Move with the sweetness and gentleness of the present moment. Feel the fluttering within. Spread your wings and be free.”
I wrote in my journal how much I love these messages from the cards. They all point to the truth that freedom is here now.
The voice responded:
Of course, freedom is here now. If something had blocked your freedom, that IS no longer. Each moment is new. Each breath is NOW.
In your dream you thought the class went until 3 o’clock, but when you realized the class was over you were afraid you had been negligent, that you had missed something.
You had missed the awareness of completion!
The class had ended and you were still frantically trying to get there.
Give yourself the greatest birthday present ever—the PRESENT.
Allow yourself to bask in the luxury of this moment. No regrets. No planning mind.
This quotation by William Blake was hand lettered beautifully onto the whiteboard hanging on the wall. A fortunate few gathered at the Pine Island public library last evening for a presentation by Zan Henegan Lombardo—artist, poet, friend, and teacher extraordinaire.
Once in a while, you are soooooo blessed to be part of something organic, unimaginable, and magnificent. Previously, I have written about Zan’s first 30-foot watercolor painting. Now she has done it again, this time with a piece about some of my favorite sentient beings: trees.
Here is the dazzling 4 foot by 30 foot painting, titled, “Dance of All This,” when it was hanging in the round at the Sydney and Byrne Davis Art Center, 2301 First St, Fort Myers, Florida:
And, shared with her permission, Zan’s amazing poem that goes along with the new painting:
Listening to the Lights in the Trees
With forehead pressed against the trunk
Where the music is embedded,
I make this request: “Please, sing to me about your angels.”
The slender tree responds with percussive impulse,
Pushing me squarely back,
Flaying my chest, exposing my heart,
Invisible wings flexing from shoulder blades.
A cacophony of sounds and light flash through me,
Full on,
Indecipherable.
I back off.
Old trees offer more seasoned melodies, I hope.
Gingerly stepping over gnarly roots to a
Welcoming section with thicker waist,
Gently placing my brow in contact with the weathered bark,
Silently, I ask.
This time I find myself in the heart of God,
Wings still flexing from my shoulders.
And the messenger says,
“The ballad is more than can be sung
In a single verse.
Our angels require you sit
In communion with us
Throughout your life
In order to internalize the lyrics
Of that which you desire.
It’s complicated.”
–Zan Lombardo, 2018
Zan led us in an exercise about listening, during which were asked to share a memorable experience we have had with a tree. Mine was from the 1970’s, when I was a camp counselor at Lake Louise United Methodist Camp, in Boyne Falls, Michigan. The theme of the week was ‘Acclimatization.’
The activities were designed so we experienced ourselves as a part OF nature, rather than a part FROM nature. We worked with a partner, who guided us safely in the woods. We were invited to listen, and let a tree call to us. We remained with that tree for some time, practicing hearing it, before being led out of the woods.
Once safely at the edge of the woods, our blindfold was removed, and we were invited to use our new-found listening skills to return to our tree. I did that! It was truly amazing.
We were asked by Zan to inner listen and go stand by the section of the painting that spoke to us. This is the section that was speaking to me:
You can listen to trees. Trees are sentient beings.
When I had my well-skin check-up in December, the doctor noticed a bit of light scaly tissue on my nose (solar keratosis or sun damage). She prescribed a topical treatment, for four days.
I asked if it was OK for me to wait a bit. I was scheduled to do a workshop at Open Door Retreat Center in Fort Myers the first Saturday in January. I did not want the participants of my Meditation as Healing program to be distracted by healing scabs. The doctor assured me it was OK to wait.
The presentation was this past Saturday. Monday morning when I got out the supplies, I realized I had some unanswered questions about the protocol. How to protect my eyes? (John used this same product last year with some HORRIFIC reactions…) Do I cleanse and moisturize the way I normally do? Can I apply makeup? What about sun exposure?
When I told John I had called the office with my concerns, he said, “Wait until you hear back from the doctor before you start. They are good about getting back to you.”
I did not get a call back from the doctor’s office.
On Wednesday afternoon I called again, suggesting it might be better if I send an email with my questions through the portal. I was informed they have a new portal, and they would need to send me an invitation.
Thursday evening, I still had not received the ‘invitation’ to join the new portal, nor had I received a call back.
Friday morning as I sat writing in my journal (Beyond Mastery Newsletter “Writing Down Your Soul”), I had an ah ha moment: I have been asked to be the FACE introducing all of the video presentations of my meditation teachers, Barbara Brodsky and Aaron. Final edits to the copy are being made now, and the video production is scheduled for the very near future.
Suddenly I had such great appreciation for the unfolding. If my questions had been answered when I asked them, I would have started the protocol.
It is such a Divine gift that I had opportunity to be a patient patient….
Voices from the past, “There are children starving in Africa.” Food is cheap, but labor is costly, so portion size is generated to justify price. World hunger barely matters. Our dinner plates are now the size of platters. Guilt generates so much waist. It is far better to let something go to waste.
Twenty nine years ago today, I became a grandmother. I was still thirty-something—at least I would be for two more weeks. My career was booming. I was top sales person in the nation. I was traveling to beautiful venues. I had long finger nails, and I wore nice clothing. I was too busy (and too young) to be a grand parent.
Although I did not yet know it, everything changed the moment I held Bradley Joseph Zelenak in my arms.
He was a little bit early, had jaundice, and his mom, Stacey, went home from the hospital without him. A few weeks later, he would go to the hospital by ambulance. I would watch his mother crawl into the big “crib” under the oxygen tent to be with him. I would walk down the hospital corridor with a lump in my throat and tears tricking down my cheek.
As with other dynamics of life, it is impossible to say what would have been if things had been different. Would I have still treasured every moment or might I have let the years slip by without awareness of the preciousness that is always present?
Say only, something clicked. Priorities were suddenly laid straight.
No sale was more important than watching him breath. We were blessed to have them live with us for about a month before my baby would leave Michigan, taking her baby to live in Tennessee.
I never felt a house so empty as the day we walked back into the house after watching their car back out of the driveway heading south.
From that moment forth, everything revolved around keeping our connection. Our vacation time was spent there. Holiday plans were around them. Even now, as snow birds flying from Michigan to Florida and back we think of it as going to see the kids.
I cannot say how differently I would view the world without the lens of being a grandmother to Bradley, but I can say this: Bradley changed my world. I am Gammie.
I say he opened my heart chakra. As fingers fly over the keys, a lump tightens my throat. Again tears form as, in my minds eye, almost three decades of precious memories dance. Things he said, places we went, experiences we shared.
Today, I breathe the fragrance of grace that allows me to have had this miracle in my life.
I am blessed with two other grandchildren, and each is loved beyond words. Bradley is like any first true love. He is the one who taught me to be care-full what you pray for.
Working in retail management, breaking fingernails and tearing holes in my stockings was an everyday occurrence. Yes, I wore pantyhose and heels to work 9-to-5! I read somewhere that you should write down a prayer, put it in a box, and forget about it. Years before I had written: “I want to wear nice clothes and have long finger nails.”
The day I opened the box and looked down at my hands, I was shocked. Not even remembering what I had written, I was living what I had prayed for.
Today, perhaps more mindfulness would go into everything I put in my prayer box to let God work the magic. Perhaps…
Most people will be wishing you a happy new year today, but I am wishing all beings a happy new YOU.
Attributing the saying that “Most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be” did not happen until 50 years after Abraham Lincoln’s death. Dr. Frank Crane included the saying, and the attribution, in a column about New Year’s resolutions in the Syracuse Herald. No evidence exists that Lincoln said it, but it is probably pretty true, whomever said it first.
The most significant learnings of 2018 hover around mindfulness, nondual awareness, and intention. In September of 2018 I joined a two-year study intensive with Barbara Brodsky, Aaron, and John Orr: morning meditation, daily journal entry, and living from highest purpose.
Previous posts have mentioned Rob Swartz, Rupert Spira, and Janet Conner. Perhaps you have already taken time with them, but I will include links again just in case today is the perfect day for letting their expanded awareness awaken our own.
This morning’s thought from the Brahma Kumaris says it well:
The best solutions to problems will not be the result of hard thinking. Use your time better by creating peaceful thoughts, and problems will cease to affect you. Do not try to solve everything on your own. Leave some space for God to come and help you.
Whatever your thoughts about “God” might be, whether you have a religious or spiritual practice, or perhaps just your sense of something greater than yourself, make 2019 the year you rely less on your own effort and leave some space for God to help you.
For example, if you misplace your keys, rather than frantically searching, simply ask within. Affirm, “What is mine comes to me.” See what happens.
When you are not feeling well—an ache or pain—something major or minor—rather than name the symptom or the diagnosis, or go into story about it, simply note “sensation…” Try it! This is a new year, and a new you.
Notice old habit energy. A dear friend of mine has recently begun boating regularly after many years without a boat. I notice the habit energy to feel left out and jealous. Looking more closely, it is clear those are not my authentic experiences of her good fortune. I am truly thrilled for her. I am enthusiastic about her being able to renew a passion for boating. Her joy is my joy.
2018 was also the year when the tree in our yard came down. The most significant question around that was when Barbara Brodsky asked, “Who dies? What dies? Does the tree still live in your heart?” (See: Does the Tree Still Live in Your Heart?”
What year ends? What year begins? Who is the old you? Who is the new you? Does the real you still live in your heart?
In September of 2018, I made a two-year commitment to a study called “The Dharma Path,” with Barbara Brodsky and Aaron. I have once again been amazed at how your intention creates your experience. In Buddhism, dharma means “cosmic law and order,” and is also applied to the teachings of the Buddha. In Buddhist philosophy, dhamma/dharma is also the term for “phenomena.”
About ten days ago, one of the board members of Deep Spring (the organization Barbara Brodsky founded) asked for my help with marketing and communication. While we were talking, a woman kept coming to mind. I made contact with this woman asking if she might be willing to help. Her reply was, “God no! I hate that stuff. I don’t even do my own. I pay tens of thousands so I don’t have to.” I thanked her for knowing what was true for her, and asked if she might know of anyone who would work with us pro bono.
Several days later, just as I was mentioning some of this to my husband, I received a text from this woman, saying she had made contact with a marketing person who was willing!
Wow. Can you feel the timing?
A few days later, I had a consult with the marketing person. We had a good connection, one made even more precious for me because the woman’s voice took me to my heart. Her voice sounded exactly like the voice of a woman I was blessed to work with years ago. The story of that woman is in my book of stories: Falling Together in Love.
I asked if she knew Barbara’s story; did she know Barbara is deaf. No, she did not. I shared how Barbara had lost her hearing (and her equilibrium!) at the birth of her first child. The loving non-physical being, Aaron, who teaches through Barbara, came forth in spirit to help her find peace from the suffering. I mentioned how people sign the first letter of each word to help Barbara read lips.
Chills ran up and down my spine when the woman told me she had attended an ASL elementary school. American sign language! The marketing woman knows and can sign the entire alphabet…
What are the odds? Right.
We agreed to another call and were excited to proceed with discovering how she could help the Deep Springs board meet growth goals.
I spoke with my friend who had made the connection, told her about the sign language connection and that the reason she was able to say yes to working pro bono was because she is creating an agency, and has an intern starting after the first of the year. It would be a great opportunity for her to develop skill working with a board, and possible because of the intern.
My friend who connected me to the marketing person is looking for a new marketing agency….
This morning I opened an email message from the marketing person. She found out that the intern can only work with local businesses, so she is unable to help us.
Can you feel the waves of up and down? This is how life rolls. The entire point of the two-year study is stabilizing the heavy emotions so we are not tossed around by our grasping at things we want and our pushing against the unwanted.
We do not know what is best, but we can trust.
While the rest of the story unfolds, you can choose to stay present with your breath, remembering that it is the nature of life for conditions to change. Recently I have used the metaphor of a kaleidoscope—you cannot move just one single piece of glass. Everything is connected to everything, and god is good.
Years ago I read a story about an old man with a white horse. It has come to be “Say Only” in my mind, and many of you have heard it over the years. Several online versions exist, but since I read it first in Max Lucado’s book, In the Eye of the Storm, below is that version.
Max Lucado (In the Eye of the Storm)
The Old Man and the White Horse
Once there was an old man who lived in a tiny village. Although poor, he was envied by all, for he owned a beautiful white horse. Even the king coveted his treasure. A horse like this had never been seen before – such was its splendor, its majesty, its strength.
People offered fabulous prices for the steed, but the old man always refused. “This horse is not a horse to me,” he would tell them. “It is a person. How could you sell a person? He is a friend, not a possession. How could you sell a friend.” The man was poor and the temptation was great. But he never sold the horse.
One morning he found that the horse was not in his stable. All the village came to see him. “You old fool,” they scoffed, “we told you that someone would steal your horse. We warned you that you would be robbed. You are so poor. How could you ever protect such a valuable animal? It would have been better to have sold him. You could have gotten whatever price you wanted. No amount would have been to high. Now the horse is gone and you’ve been cursed with misfortune.”
The old man responded, “Don’t speak too quickly. Say only that the horse is not in the stable. That is all we know; the rest is judgment. If I’ve been cursed or not, how can you know? How can you judge?”
The people contested, “Don’t make us out to be fools! We may not be philosophers, but great philosophy is not needed. The simple fact that your horse is gone is a curse.”
The old man spoke again. “All I know is that the stable is empty, and the horse is gone. The rest I don’t know. Whether it be a curse or a blessing, I can’t say. All we can see is a fragment. Who can say what will come next?”
The people of the village laughed. They thought that the man was crazy. They had always thought he was a fool; if he wasn’t, he would have sold the horse and lived off the money. But instead, he was a poor woodcutter, and old man still cutting firewood and dragging it out of the forest and selling it. He lived hand to mouth in the misery of poverty. Now he had proven that he was, indeed, a fool.
After fifteen days, the horse returned. He hadn’t been stolen; he had run away into the forest. Not only had he returned, he had brought a dozen wild horses with him. Once again, the village people gathered around the woodcutter and spoke. “Old man, you were right and we were wrong. What we thought was a curse was a blessing. Please forgive us.”
The man responded, “Once again, you go too far. Say only that the horse is back. State only that a dozen horses returned with him, but don’t judge. How do you know if this is a blessing or not? You see only a fragment. Unless you know the whole story, how can you judge? You read only one page of a book. Can you judge the whole book? You read only one word of one phrase. Can you understand the entire phrase?”
“Life is so vast, yet you judge all of life with one page or one word. All you have is one fragment! Don’t say that this is a blessing. No one knows. I am content with what I know. I am not perturbed by what I don’t.”
“Maybe the old man is right,” they said to one another. So they said little. But down deep, they knew he was wrong. They knew it was a blessing. Twelve wild horses had returned. With a little work, the animals could be broken and trained and sold for much money.
The old man had a son, an only son. The young man began to break the wild horses. After a few days, he fell from one of the horses and broke both legs. Once again the villagers gathered around the old man and cast their judgments.
“You were right,” they said. “You proved you were right. The dozen horses were not a blessing. They were a curse. Your only son has broken both his legs, and now in your old age you have no one to help you. Now you are poorer than ever.”
The old man spoke again. “You people are obsessed with judging. Don’t go so far. Say only that my son broke his legs. Who knows if it is a blessing or a curse? No one knows. We only have a fragment. Life comes in fragments.”
It so happened that a few weeks later the country engaged in war against a neighboring country. All the young men of the village were required to join the army. Only the son of the old man was excluded, because he was injured. Once again the people gathered around the old man, crying and screaming because their sons had been taken. There was little chance that they would return. The enemy was strong, and the war would be a losing struggle. They would never see their sons again.
“You were right, old man,” They wept. “God knows you were right. This proves it. Your son’s accident was a blessing. His legs may be broken, but at least he is with you. Our sons are gone forever.”
The old man spoke again. “It is impossible to talk with you. You always draw conclusions. No one knows. Say only this. Your sons had to go to war, and mine did not. No one knows if it is a blessing or a curse. No one is wise enough to know. Only God knows.”
P.S. When Jane Foster received the hat (see previous post) she sent this photo, and a message saying she thought the hat needed to be named.
She decided to name it the “Giving Hat” because her husband gifted her the hat, it is giving her so much pleasure, and the proceeds that will go to cancer research is giving others a chance at a longer and better quality of life.
Our daughter was sharing a precious “aha moment” she had recently. She works in an industry which has it’s peak adjacent to retail sales— during the months of November and December. As many who are responsible for hiring entry level workers, she has struggled to get reliable help. That has been a HUGE frustration to her, robbing her of the joy of the rest of her job. She experienced an emotional overload, had a crying time, and then an insight. Related to her responsibilities, she became aware of feeling pulled between her plant manager who was screaming for help, a co-owner who wanted to keep payroll down, and the publishers who wanted timely deliveries…. just to name a few.
Awareness is key. Her awareness included a sentence spoken within herself that became her ticket to freedom a few days later, “I don’t know who my master is.”
Deep Spring Center Thought for Today
‘You’re on a boat,’ he said. ‘The boat is riding too low on the water and there are waves. You’ve got to toss one person out. In the boat are a loved one, a person about whom you feel neutral, a person who is a difficult person, and yourself. You’re the one to decide: which one are you going to cast into the water?’
She thought about it awhile and said, ‘There are no grounds for decision.’
He just smiled and bowed and indicated that the interview was over.
‘Did I get it right?’ she wondered.
But of course, when you get to that place where you understand your interrelationship with all beings, there are no grounds for decision. You cannot cast yourself into the shark-infested sea to save others nor can you throw others in to save yourself.
~ Aaron
There are no grounds for decision.
Like the people on the boat, every one of those needs my daughter was feeling torn between had value, but not ONE of them was more or less important than the others.
A few days after her breakdown, she had a breakthrough. This is the insight that set her free:
“I do know who my master is. I serve God. The plant manager is not my master. The co-owner is not my master. The publisher is not my master. My master wants me to experience peace, and joy, and to do what I can do to serve/help.”
An aside: if you do not automatically receive the Beyond Mastery Newsletter, or if you currently receive only one email message with links to the newsletter included (rather than the email message with the links plus the individual post/s), then you will want to sign up now to receive all posts automatically. The January edition will come out at the end of this month, and it may just rock your boat. Here is the link: Sign Up Now for Beyond Mastery.
The outer circumstances at work have not changed. She did not magically have adequate, dedicated, reliable hires. She was able to have a heart-to-heart with her plant manager, and with the company president about having recognized her real master. Theirs is a Christian organization. The name they use is God. The miracle in her life happened because she listened to God, she heard that voice within. When we listen, we have to take action. The action she took was to let herself be transformed from within.
Included in my January article will be an invitation for others to join an online group based on the book Writing Down Your Soul: How to Activate and Listen to the Extraordinary Voice Within, by Janet Conner.
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