Yellow Brick Road: Your Path to Heart & Health

A Clean Slate

By Debra Basham, on October 13, 2022

On Tuesday night in class the teacher told us, “Karma is never a punishment; there is always a desire to learn.” I was so drawn to the words and to the implication of that truth. A subtle curiosity dawned as to from where the idea of a punishing supreme being came.

~ From “Views of the Faith Mind”

We are so very conditioned to polarities, we sometimes take for granted they “exist.”

What if polarities are really just conditioned states of mind?

In The Sound of Silence, Ajahn Sumedho describes a state that is “ever present but only noticed if attended to.”

My blood pressure has been up again since Hurricane Ian came onshore in our beloved community in Southwest Florida, before driving destruction onward across the state and on up into North Carolina. As I was sitting with all of that on October 12, I realized the elevated blood pressure might really be Europe anniversary energy from 2011. I was going to the foot doctor later in the morning so I sat a clear intention to have everything be released with the day’s procedure.

Before leaving for my appointment I did a drawing and heard song lyrics in my head: What goes up, must come down; spinning wheel got to go round; talkin’ bout your troubles, it’s a cryin’ sin.

Then a poem:

My past is a thief robbing me of today
but only if I hold on — that’s the only way
I breathe in
I breathe out
I let go
I move out

No more ruminating
this is the root
today renders all those yesterdays
absolutely moot

Today the autumn hues
can erase a history of blues
the reds
yellows bright
orange shining
with glorious light

These cells and pores
win or lose
when I’m saving scores
wipe the slate clean
that’s what we mean

Do it now
let it go

Compassion
can and will flow

Debra Basham October 12, 2022

After I got home from the doctor, I had the first normal blood pressure reading in several days. I finished reading The Cherry Harvest, by Lucy Sanna. I did not like the ending. Online I saw this line in one review, “Really digs into the hidden behaviors that people often have but would never admit.” I wrote in my journal that I prefer a happy ending.

John Lennon is credited with saying everything will be okay in the end, so if it’s not okay, it’s not the end.

More from “Views of the Faith Mind” that resonates with all of this:

Although all dualities come from the One,
do not be attached even to this One.
When the mind exists undisturbed in the Way,
nothing in the world can offend.
And when a thing can no longer offend,
it ceases to exist in the old way.

A few minutes ago I went out and took a video of the sky. To the left and to the right of a heavy band of clouds there was blue sky. It was so obvious that what you see depends on where you are looking.

A lot of life related to wintering in Pine Island has ceased to exist in the old way, yet another opportunity to breathe in and out and let go….

Invite to Arise and Allow to Dissolve

By Debra Basham, on October 2, 2022

The days feel a bit otherworldly since hurricane Ian paid a visit to our seasonal paradise in St. James City on Pine Island, Florida. Devastation is the best descriptor. The island has been deemed “uninhabitable” for the unforeseeable future with no power, water, sewer, or emergency services.

The sense of loss comes in concentric circles. The smallest circle is the interruption to our coveted winter life-style. Then to the homeowners, and finally to those whose only home is (was) there. The island is also home to so much wildlife that must be shocked as well. Bald Eagle, the Gopher Tortoise, the Pileated Woodpecker, the Great Blue Heron, to name just a few.

We received a video after our homeowner made it to ground zero yesterday. The damage is overwhelming. So many of our friends are affected. John’s shuffleboard buddy called to say they are not coming back. “We are too old, and I am too tired,” Richie said. Again, those circles.

We view the damage from a safe distance within the comfort of our tiny house here in Michigan.

Our grandson, Brad, drove to Florida from Tennessee with donated supplies to assist his dad in Englewood, who lost a roof. It is estimated that 90-95 percent of homes in that community were damaged. Brad’s paternal grandparent’s home was a total loss, like so many others we know and love.

I realized it feels like going through the grand letting go that happens for us all at the time of death, but we are going through it now without leaving our bodies.

I appreciate that a friend sent a passage from Eckhart Tolle’s Stillness Speaks: “Death is not the opposite of life. Life has no opposite. The opposite of death is birth. Life is eternal.” (p. 103)

Betty Lue Lieber (my beloved teacher and friend who founded the interfaith ordination program of Reunion I was ordained through) sent the Daily Quote from Abraham Hicks:

Excerpted from Philadelphia, PA on 5/7/03

Our Love
Esther (Abraham and Jerry)

This morning when my sister, Janis, and I turned over our 2022 Magic Eye Calendar to October we saw myriad animals — including buffalo, bear, deer, eagle, and feather. It is a very BUSY image. Key words that came to mind are Native American; Mother Earth; and Nature.

The underneath (3D image) is simply two sets of human hands coming down on to two drums. We both thought: Heart beat of the earth.

There is soooooo much going on on the surface, but underneath we can feel hopeful. First Janis said it felt hopeful, but then the word ENCOURAGING came to mind.

Reading on in Stillness Speaks:

Whenever an experience comes to an end — a gathering of friends, a vacation, your children leaving home — you die a little death. A “form” that appeared in y9ur consciousness as that experience dissolves. Often this leaves behind a feeling of emptiness that most people try hard not to face.

If you can learn to accept and even welcome the endings in your life, you may find that the feeling of emptiness that initially felt uncomfortable turns into a sense of inner spaciousness that is deeply peaceful.

By learning to die daily in this way, you open yourself to Life. (p. 106-107)

Two experiences from my past come to mind. The first was when the entire lower level at Holistic Alliance was flooded with grey water. That was a total BEING of awareness that what would be would be. Like Doris Day’s singing Qué será, será, whatever will be, will be; the future’s not ours to see; Qué será, será.

The second was the night I unknowingly ate food containing shellfish while I was in Thailand and I became violently ill. I was alone with no way to get any help. After the vomiting and diarrhea slowed to where I could crawl to the bedroom and lie down, I turned on my Everlasting Peace CD fully aware whatever will be, will be. If I was going to die, I wanted to live until then in everlasting peace.

This morning, Aaron’s words point to a new way of navigating this feeling of emptiness.

There is nothing to create; there is nothing to destroy. There is only the power that is inherent in your essence, which is the essence of All That Is, the power of love that is able to fully invite that which is wholesome and release that which is unwholesome. To create and to destroy are 3rd density concepts; invite to arise and allow to dissolve are 4th density concepts. Are you ready for it? ~ Aaron

Embrace Your Radiance and Power

By Debra Basham, on September 19, 2022

Sometimes it takes hindsight to see most clearly how to move forward.

This morning I came across a Beyond Mastery Newsletter post from ten years ago. The title of that post is “You’re Pushin’ Too Hard.” Here it is:

In Jin Shin Jyutsu, pushin’ too hard is called efforting, and in ways perhaps known only to the soul, it is based on a lack of trust. I don’t often think of myself as lacking trust, and I often speak quite to the contrary, expressing ultimate trust in Divine Intelligence, or LIFE, or the Universe, what is sometimes in this culture called God. What does it mean, then, that efforting is oh, too, familiar….

An exercise I have invited myself and others to play goes something like this, “If you could have anything you wanted, what would that be? And if you had that now, what would your having it now allow you to do or have or be that you have seemed unable to do or have or be currently?”

Recently, I am very aware of the gap in ease I experience about that answer. I know my life would have an element of service in it, and yet, I am not called to anything concrete in the ways I used to be. I know my life would have time for balance of body, mind, and spirit. I would exercise, preferably by riding my bike most days. I would eat healthy food, and enjoy well-prepared meals. I would meditate daily, as well as join group meditation. I would write. I have come to recognize how much writing is central in my spiritual balance.

When I ask if I would work, I cannot answer that with perfect clarity. Would I teach? Maybe. Would I preach if I had the opportunity? Maybe.

One question that can still bring tears to my eyes has to do with a sense of failure. I know my mother felt she had wasted her life. At the time she was expressing those feelings, they struck me as so odd, after all, she had me! Perhaps she had been responding to a deeper dream that had not revealed itself in her doing. She was an amazing cook. She could make an eight-course meal look easy. Her own needs for food were minimal, but her need to feed those she loves was nearly insatiable. Meatloaf for one, roast beef for another. Lasagna. Cornbread. When the kids were all young, and several of them preferred the center of the pan of cinnamon rolls, she would make several, so everyone got a center!

I am not sure my soul needs that level of pandering to, but it does need to be heard, and honored, and allowed a say in what I do with my time and energy.

I shall give my soul pen here and see what is desiring to be shared!

What small gift can I bring?

• I can open the door for someone who is rushing in or out.

• I can listen to someone who is feeling alone or confused.

• I can remember to breathe when those around me are in stressful moments.

• I can pick up a piece of trash when I see it and not harbor a thought about how it came to be there in the first place.

• I can tip well when service was poor and tip even better when service is great.

What might it mean that I find no lofty goals when I look deeply inside? Perhaps nature has seeped into my being and contentment is being born where restlessness once whipped my moods like March winds working kites as delighted children watch with their eyes all aglow. I cannot imagine the roses pining or the Bluebird considering a life being lived a failure.

Maybe seen in its true light, even the greatest loss is really a gain. I am willing to think of it this way and give it time to see if that is what is happening.

Re-reading this is especially significant after the message I received during Darshan (a blessing from The Mother) during Remembering Wholeness with Barbara Brodsky yesterday.

Sometimes being more perfectionist can be helpful — if someone is lazy or sloppy about things — but when one is already giving so much love, then being perfectionists is a way of negating the gift of the self. What does that mean?

I think it’s mostly an old habit, but not entirely, so, I’d like you to ask when you move into that sense of subtle smallness, that sense of, “I could have done it better,” to ask, “What do I gain by putting myself down in that way? Why can I not embrace my full radiance and power?”

And, especially I’m talking about power.

What if you are as powerful as I know you to be? What then?

I look forward to seeing what evolves as you start to open up to your power.

I love you, and I am with you.

When I read down my bulleted list from 2012, I can see that I live all of those desires. It is time for a new list….

What might evolve as I open fully to my power?

• I will give each experience room to reveal the Holy Spirit’s grace and gift that experience offers.

• I will worry less about dying and care more about living as a radiant expression of Holy Spirit.

• I will express exuberantly the power of the Holy Spirit for the good of all.

• I will see a 98 as “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

A monarch butterfly travels as much as 100 miles a day
during its 3,000-mile migration south.

Before and After

By Debra Basham, on September 5, 2022

Everything that is good in the world
comes from love, land, and labor.

~ Van Jones

My previous Yellow Brick Road posted on August 14. Today is Labor Day, September 5, 2022. This may be the longest time between posts EVER. Or perhaps it isn’t, but it has been (for sure) quite some time.

The great room turned out, well, GREAT! It ended up not being just a low job. I painted everything except the crown molding, the trim around the door, and the beam.

Then I painted the library alcove. The new look is so very easy on the eyes….

On Wednesday, August 17, our Day 6, John and I both tested negative for Covid.

On Friday, August 19, 2022, when I saw the two red lines on John’s retest, all I could say was, “Dammit… dammit… DAMMIT.”

My Day 8, suddenly became my new Day Zero.

Even though Linda thought it was too late to take precautions from exposure now to John, I felt I had to. It is not easy to isolate living in a tiny house, but I was clear on my intention. We both masked any time we were in the same room. We used separate dish towels, and only paper towels to dry our hands. We switched our stuff so he used the main bath and I used the guest bath. Essentially, I moved into the guest room. We ate dinner together, but he sat at the table and I used a TV tray sitting in the little rocking chair from Bozena. He always handled the remote control for the TV.

I was negative for Covid again on Wednesday, August 24, my second Day 6. Negative again on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday – my second Day 8, 9, and 10. On Saturday, we were able to go to Norleen’s Backyard Birthday Bash, to St. John in New Buffalo on Sunday. You have to understand what a relief it was to not have to test on Monday. Woohoo!

Coincidentally, exactly one year ago we had Covid. Exactly….

So much has changed in the past year. On Saturday night of Labor Day weekend last year, John had the horrific anxiety, resulting in Larry Gunter’s taking him to ER on Sunday evening. The very next day, Jerry Basham had the abdominal aortic aneurysm on Labor Day. Jerry passed a few weeks later, on September 24. John had the sciatica flare all of November and December; quadruple bypass surgery in January; TIA in April; low-pressure event May 5 in the neurologist’s office. When I had the transient global amnesia in June, John was in an even worse sciatica flare. On Thursday, August 25, John got very weak and sweaty and then horribly nauseous while mowing the lawn. He was taken by ambulance to ER, and recovered well from what was likely dehydration. We have gotten through it all, and we are both doing very well!

I had to buy more of the expensive primer because next I am going to paint the gallery wall and the furnace closet. In truth, I am going to paint all of the back hallway.

The before and after is remarkable. TRULY remarkable….

A Cloudy Day

By Debra Basham, on August 14, 2022

The past few days have unfolded very differently from my plans. I had expected to share fish-fry with Linda and Larry and Linda and Fred and play Hand-and-Foot on Friday evening, and to make vegetable beef soup with my mother’s cornbread for dinner on Saturday with Janis and Larry. I planned a visit with Delcy Kuhlman on Monday morning (to see the new retreat space already sporting a bed). The bed is on loan. She says the veneer has slivered off the headboard, revealing the image of an angel. Jane Foster was scheduled to come for lunch on Wednesday.

Each of those wonderfully wanted experiences were crossed off my calendar when we received a text from Lora at 8:21 am Friday, “Asking for your prayers. John and I have tested positive for COVID.” John and John had gone out for coffee on Thursday morning and in the evening John and I had been with John for about 40 minutes.

Normally there are 12-20 people at the Thursday jam. When no one else showed up for the jam, we went home.

On Wednesday the CDC updated Covid exposure protocol. Ten days of precaution: first five – isolation or being with others only with a proper medically-approved mask, even if no symptoms test on day 6, and if negative, continue to mask until day 10. Thursday was our Day Zero.

Day 1, Friday, August 12, 2022:
Well before noon, I was painting paneling in the great room.

Perhaps the job was begun a bit too impulsively since I was using only the paint left over from the previous kitchen cabinet project, without any primer. That paneling was soaking up paint like a lawn after a six-week drought when the rains come…

I had the wherewithal to stop.

Friday evening, after a conference call with Larry Britton, I knew I needed to put on gloves and a mask, and make a trip to Sherwin Williams before continuing. I needed supplies.

I’ve begun reading The Rent Collector, by Camron Wright, in which the main character, Sang Ly, learns to read with the hope of creating a way out of their current living conditions: they live in and survive by picking through garbage in Cambodia’s largest municipal dump.

Day 2, Saturday, August 13, 2022:
Saturday morning at 8 o’clock I called Sherwin Williams to say I did not have Covid, but would be coming into the store in gloves and a mask because I had been exposed. “Laney” said that was okay. She did keep her distance, and as she carried the two gallons to my car she told me in two weeks she was going on her first vacation in two years. I told her I understood completely and that was why I could not come in without calling first.

The name of paint color is Cultured Pearl. According to Wikipedia, cultured pearls are formed within a cultured pearl sac with human intervention in the interior of productive living molluscs in a variety of conditions depending upon the mollusc and the goals.[1] Just as the same as natural pearls, cultured pearls can be cultivated in seawater or freshwater bodies. Nowadays, over 95% of the pearls available on the market would be cultured pearls.

By dinner time, two walls were painted and everything in the area cleaned and furniture put properly placed!

Day 3, Sunday, August 14, 2022:

“That is a wonderful lesson, Sang Ly. Remember it.”

“What was it again?” I ask, not certain to what she is referring.

She repeats it for me. “In literature, everything means something.”

We open the pages and read.

~ The Rent Collector, by Camron Wright

It is cloudy today. My knees and hips are sore from all of the squatting. This is a low job…. I am not sure if I will take the day off or persevere.

I had anticipated Friday, August 12, 2022. Sixty years earlier, when I was twelve years old, my dad and I were in a serious auto accident — an accident in which I had an out-of-body near death experience (NDE) that has shaped my view of the world. I had expected to write, to ride my bike, to give space to be on a very inner journey. I certainly had not anticipated painting paneling.

A poem gives rise on the page in my journal.

Daily light replaces darkness
and light begats light
Where nothing reflected
now everything does

Oh, for sure
you can see perfections
formerly hidden
now quite obvious
but soooooo worth it

Seeing all in the light
even the flaws
are lovely
each adds an element
of uniqueness, telling a tale

Today the sun is hidden
clouds rule the sky
But still the sun shines
and the light is, only
waiting to reveal its gloriousness

The sun still shines
even on a cloudy day

~ Debra Basham, August 14, 2022

P.S. Word came last evening from Gary Zukav, author of The Seat of the Soul, that his beloved, Linda Francis, transitioned on August 6. Linda Beushausen Gunter and I had the honor of spending a day with them some years back. Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers.

Linda Francis, my Beloved, my spiritual partner, my life partner, my co-creator in everything, my co-author, my inspiration and model, completed her journey through the Earth school on August 6. Her soul returned home to nonphysical reality. When a soul decides to return home, nothing can stop it. I saw this happen before my eyes. Linda was at my side in our kitchen when the stroke came. Within hours an experienced surgeon had attempted three times to remove the clot in her brain, yet it could not be removed.

I am still reeling. Each time I turn to say something to Linda and realize that she is not here to answer me, and each time I rush home with groceries to be with her again and remember that she will not be there when I arrive, and countless experiences like these are each a source of great pain for me and also an opportunity to create authentic power. Each hurts a lot before I recognize it for what it is – a frightened part of my personality – and move my attention away from “what ifs” and “if onlys” to what is actually happening in the moment, and toward an opportunity to love, to support, to contribute.

This is not over for me, and it is probably not over for you. I and our precious support team will send you some practical thoughts and suggestions over the next few weeks so you can practice transforming your experiences into opportunities to create authentic power. You will receive your first emails next week. I invite you to experiment with them and to let me know at garyzukav@seatofthesoul.com what happens.

I hope you are healthy and joyful and appreciating the power and beauty of each moment.

Linda joins me in sending you love.

Love,
Gary

Things Said and Unsaid

By Debra Basham, on August 10, 2022

How was it that her whole life could be
distilled down to that simple truth?
Words mattered.
Her life had been defined
by things said and unsaid….

Winter Garden: A Novel
by Kristin Hannah

Yesterday morning on my bike ride I had one of those mundane moments that reveal such eternal truth it almost takes your breath away. Making the left turn into a short cul-de-sac, I saw a cat stretched out on the driveway. In my best, high-pitched voice I spoke my heart, “Hello, Kitty!!!”

Every rotation of the bike’s tires revealed deep yearning for a close encounter of the cat kind. Since 2000, I had cat energy in my life weekly, when I was in Kalamazoo at Joel’s home. The current generation of cats: Bobbie, McGee, and Zeus, were adopted into a new home after Joel was moved to a memory-care facility in Tennessee late this spring.

Loss of Joel’s intellect, his collaboration, his witness to my birth as a writer was entwined with the loss of the satiating love of cat.

During the winters in Florida, I would go to Great Licks Ice Cream Parlor, to pet the cat. Many a morning bike ride took me to St. James City Automotive, home of Sonny, who would enjoy the affection so much he would forget to swallow – dripping drool all over himself and me and the floor. (See Sonny in “Fingers on Fur” from 2018.)

A few days ago, my sister posted on Facebook: There is no greater earthly privilege than to have been loved by a cat. My comment on her post was this emoji with a cat on my head.

A lively conversation with a dharma sister about the nuance that unconditional love is probably really unconditionED love has opened my heart to so much truth these past days. This morning I was led to a Yellow Brick Road blog post from on February 17, 2019. In that post “Acceptance” I feel a sacred circle of truth: Saying exactly what you need will allow a new pattern to emerge. Be willing to say it gently over and over until the new pattern is stable.

Circling that cul-de-sac I could feel the grasping for that cat encounter. In my head was a tug-of-war about stopping or not stopping. Approaching the driveway from the other direction, I still did not know if I was going to stop and approach the cat.

As my subtle energy began making the turn away from the drive, that voice called out, “Have a great day, Kitty!”

Then and only then, did my awareness expand and notice that the kitty was not the only four-legged in that driveway: A robust German Shepherd had been lying on the asphalt a few feet away from the cat!!!!

So many times in life grasping or aversion have dictated words said or unsaid.

One New Years Eve, somewhere about 1980, my resolution was to every day say to Stacey, “I love you”….

Be willing to say it gently over and over until the new pattern is stable.

Dissent with Love

By Debra Basham, on August 3, 2022

Love takes off the masks
we fear we cannot live without
and know we cannot live within.

~ James Baldwin (Gratefulness.org)

Group 2 sharing last evening was active with exploring the question of the value of being ordained (in Buddhism). This was not so much an intellectual discussion, but a sincere reflection of the yearning many expressed toward living in a community that honors, respects, and supports those deeper dynamics of mindful living. Several in our group have been exploited by spiritual leaders in this lifetime — emotionally or mentally or sexually — and sometimes all three.

Many said the time of hero worship or guru gazing have personally passed us by.

Interesting, just yesterday morning out on a bike ride, Larry was telling me about the great-grandmother of a child Linda had the privilege of doing a baptism for last week. He said this woman is Hispanic, and he assumes she likely has a Catholic background. She also has dementia and, although she never said a word, he felt he could see in her eyes the accusation, “That woman is no priest!”

Over the years, many miles on this Yellow Brick Road have been walking away from the past where patriarchy choked the rights of women out of our collective lives. This morning, two daily writings address the benefit of having “right view.” The first is from Neale Donald Walsch (author of the series of Conversations with God books).

… that a point of view different from your own might be well worth entertaining. Sometimes it is not easy hearing an idea that is different from the one you are advancing — yet it might be that second idea for which you were actually reaching. Answers arrive in more ways than one. Sometimes they come through us, and sometimes they come to us.

Brandon Morton’s son with a baby goat!

Our bicycle-riding conversation continued, “The church Linda’s brother and sister-in-law and her sister and brother-in-law go to still will not allow women in leadership. The husband is the head of the house, and the wife is by scripture ordered to be submissive to his will. Do you think Linda would go along with that?”

I responded to Larry, “I would hope she would not, and more than that, I would hope you would not ask that of her.”

Reading online this morning from The Discrimination of Women in Buddhism: An Ethical Analysis: “Men and women are considered the two wheels of a cart. They should be considered equal if we want the cart to move ahead. If one wheel is smaller than the other, the movement will definitely be impaired.”

One of the headings in that article leapt off the page: Is Buddhism a Sexist Religion?

I would also ask, Is Christianity a Sexist Religion?

Perhaps (blatant or latent) sexism, along with other forms of discrimation, is within all religions and all of our human history. It is HIStory, for heaven’s sake…. But where do we go from here? We only pretend to repair a cart with imbalanced wheel size by exchanging it for a different cart that also has an unbalanced wheel size.

The second writing that speaks us forth in love and wisdom and respect for all beings comes from Deep Spring Center for Meditation:

Thought for Today by Aaron

As we work with these practices, please realize that they are leading you in the direction of trusting your own ability not to enact anger or other negative movement when it arises. To hold it in the heart with compassion until it dissolves. To reclaim your power as higher density beings— no longer a third density human but higher density, able to trust that those around you will not be projecting negativity so it’s safe to share, and you will not be projecting negativity so it’s safe to share. But that you are still capable of saying, “No, I disagree with this or that.” That’s very different than expressing negativity. Expression of view is not an expression of negativity, it’s simply an expression of view. And we learn how to hold different views and deeply hear each other. Then one unified understanding arises and we move forward with it. Or, if one is not in full agreement, one sees that the rest of the group is and abstains from obstructing the process. But if one person thinks, “This will be totally destructive,” one will still hold, “I cannot agree. Go ahead and do what you need to do, but I dissent. But I dissent with love.”

I was just about ready to push “publish” when I received this additional confirmation from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation Thought for Today:

We pray for wisdom, and sometimes we achieve it. The strongest and wisest of men are not threatened by questioning their own answers. If we draw conclusions and blindly stick to them, we can never learn anything new. We have often made the mistake of avoiding the appearance of ignorance.

Instead, we are at our best when we give ourselves the privilege of being a learner. When someone tells us something we don’t understand or agree with, our best response is to ask for more information. We can take our ego out of the equation, surrender our need to be right, and simply try to learn what is being told to us. What is it that I don’t understand here? What does the other person see that I am missing? When we attain a moment of wisdom, we are open to learning.

Today, I will give myself the privilege of being a learner.

From the book Stepping Stones: More Daily Meditations for Men.

Once your intention is clear, perhaps the answer is also already clear!

Momentum Being Gathered

By Debra Basham, on July 23, 2022

For years I have been fascinated by a particular wind feature in the Memorial Garden at our local hospice office. There is something inspired about the way the moving parts cooperate. I only visit on days the offices are closed. Today was one of those welcome days.

As I leaned against the utility case watching, an understanding of the movement dawned on me. Parts would move backwards, then stop and wait, and then turn and move in the other direction. The momentum being gathered by this “seeming” reversal was obvious. The pause was deliberate.

Tears streamed down my face as I got on my bike and rode toward home.

I am not sure if I have shared this poem on the Yellow Brick Road previously or not.

Poem Double Standard

It was 1966
when the rabbit died
killing a rabbit to test for pregnancy
is recognized as absolutely ridiculous now
as is allowing the father to attend high school, while banning the mother
for being obviously sexually active
a bad influence on the other girls
but I did not get pregnant by myself
and unless this baby too is an immaculate conception
it took two to tango

Double standards did not stop there
and sadly they continue today

A woman who has more than one lover is labeled “promiscuous” or “a slut”

A messy house reflects on her character

Overweight men attract sexy women but a fat female is seen as unattractive and told she let herself go to pot or hell or the dogs

The knife of double standards cuts in both directions

By the age of two, boys hear that big boys don’t cry

We tell them only sissies eat quiche

Women are not taught to lead and men are not taught to follow

Not being allowed to attend high school shaped my destiny
Feeling less-than, became a part of me

Formal education would not be part of my life
crossed off the list when I became a wife

But after decades of yearning and a lifetime of learning
I’m finally free to be me
I can honor my past—
thank god-at last—
proudly hang out dirty laundry where all can see

I would do it all again
except for the guilt

I’m a great mom
he’s a great dad
our baby girl
the only one we had
over fifty now
time has flown
already her kids
out on their own

If I had it to do over
I certainly would
I’d let go of the hurdles
and remember the good
I’d refuse to allow
another to say how
my life should be
can’t they see
it’s time now
to tear down the double standard
or to step over it at least
live and let live
in kindness and peace

Yes, looking back
it is plain to see
what has been there
was shaping me
into the woman I am
the one I’m very proud of
that double standard
filled my life with love

~ Debra Basham 5/30/17

Arundhati Roy, author of the novel, The God of Small Things, is a political activist involved in human rights and environmental causes. This past week our daughter, Stacey, was let go from her job as an administrative assistant to a regional director for Speedway Corporation. She has loved her job, her “team,” and the Speedway corporate culture. In August 2020, Speedway was sold to 7-Eleven Inc. for $21 billion. Stacey was one of over a thousand employees who were let go just this week, and this sort of thing happens every day, a product of the way things have always been.

Arundhati’s words send a shaft of light into my soul:

The corporate revolution will collapse if we refuse to buy what they are selling – their ideas, their version of history, their wars, their weapons, their notion of inevitability.

Remember this: We be many and they be few. They need us more than we need them.

Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing.”

― Arundhati Roy

Our beloved friend lost her power in a strong thunderstorm on Thursday evening. Friday morning she received a call from the facility where her beloved husband has been in a memory care unit for over five years. He had taken a turn for the worst, and could she come right away. Today is Saturday and her power had not yet come back on. As John began action to get help to take our generator to her home, I sent him a text message, “Does it make sense to wait to see if it does come back on?”

He wrote back, “It’s probably time we get it running.” Before he pulled in our driveway with Larry in the van, I had a message from her saying the power was back on.

The conversation that followed was not isolated. It is woven into the web of patriarchy that has outworn any benefit it might have ever had. As John shared with me that “the guys at coffee” said the refrigerator stuff was critical by this time, I spoke truth. This was just the most recent of his discounting my opinion in favor of the opinion of his male friends. Earlier in the week we confirmed what I had known since 2019: we had a roof leak in the guest bathroom. Before the market crash in 2008, we met with our financial advisor and I expressed worry I had about our investment. I wanted him to move our investments out of the market for a while. The investment broker said, “If fear takes you out of the market, it will keep you out of the market.” He used logic to override what I had no logic to back up. All I had was a feeling.

As I was riding my bike away from that amazing wind feature with its powerful lessons, a song came into my head. Here are the lyrics:

Oh, I wish I were famous
Like Sarah or Ruth
I wish people would listen
When love speaks the truth

I wish knees would bow
And hands would clasp
When we all remember
Who we are at last

I wish I were famous
I don’t think it’ll take long
If someone would pray
Another sing a song
Write a poem
Paint a picture
Let everyone see
I belong to you and you belong to me

Oh, I wish I were famous
I’d give it all away
I’d lay down my weapons
And go out and play
I’d let the sun shine on me
I’d dance in the rain
Oh, if I were famous
I’d end all our pain

Seemingly backward motion might just be momentum being gathered….

July 16

By Debra Basham, on July 16, 2022

The passion to alleviate suffering is itself part of the path, you know. To whatever degree we are able to do that.

And to honor that place in us that wishes to see the world as different.

~ Beverly Lanzetta, “Engage 2022“

Today is a momentous day in human history, when 13,152 Jews in Paris were arrested, including more than 4,000 children. Likely few individuals alive, exactly 80 years later, remember that date.

I just finished reading Sarah’s Key, a historical fiction novel by Franco-British author, Tatiana de Rosnay. On July 16, 1942, when the French police took Sarah and her parents into custody, this innocent child locked her younger brother in a cabinet — their secret hiding place — thinking he would be spared the trauma of the arrest. Even though Sarah’s Key is not historical fact, you can see why this is not an easy read (also made into a movie).

In 2012, as I was going through surgery to remove a 22cm mass on my ovary, I received a message from the Holy Spirit that the “divine feminine” could not be stabilized on the planet until human women could forgive human men. (The divine feminine is the spiritual concept that there exists a feminine counterpart to the patriarchal and masculine worship structures that have long dominated organized religions. The divine feminine extends well beyond one belief system, and instead can be used as a spiritual lens to balance our perspective.)

More from Beverly Lanzetta, in a talk titled “Becoming Wisdom:”

make

Last evening I received an email message from a friend on the dharma path asking me how I manage when there are so many people whose names we have to say prayers for. “It can become a very long prayer session, several hours, to say individualized prayers for each. Yet it feels insincere and superficial, irresponsible, to do some sort of group prayer.”

I shared some of my process. “In a practical sense, I first set an intention for the GROUP – meaning all beings – not just the sangha. I then allow (trust) spirit to bring to mind (I think of it as focusing a lens) individual aspects or persons. I do not try to manage this from my conscious mind.”

I went on to share about the time I was providing surgical support for a colleague in Tennessee who was having knee surgery. I used my customary process but on the day of her procedure she and her surgery did not come into conscious awareness. The following day she called to thank me and said my presence with her was palpable!

Yet another phase of softening around a “personal” identity.

Here is some more of the conversational stream with my dharma friend:

D: Yes! No “separate I” praying for or to, just awareness of that stream of consciousness called prayer. I read once, years ago, that prayer does not change god, it changes us. This makes a deeper sense to me now.

A: I know I spontaneously and periodically think of them throughout the day. I remind myself momentarily that they are in need, are suffering in some way that needs God’s attention and help.

D: Yes! I am in awe of how someone will pop into my mind and I will reach out and discover there is great need for support at that exact instant. One time, I received a mailing from our church conference. I saw the name of a woman I had counseled with at a youth camp. I knew her husband had been ill. I picked up the phone and called her. He had just passed…. I mean moments before. His body was still there in the house. When she asked me what had made me call, I told her seeing her name on the conference mailing prompted the call. She said she had not been in that group, and when I looked again at the list, her name was not on it!

A: Maybe Spirit knows and hears despite my drifting consciousness.

D: I am convinced you are right about this. In Christian terms it is said that the holy spirit prays for us. “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans …” Romans 8:26.

On this July 16 (2022), the wordless groans of those 13,152 Jewish men and women, including the 40,000 children are heard….

“You can’t wait until
life isn’t hard any more
to be happy…”

~ Nightbirde

Dear Heart

By Debra Basham, on July 14, 2022

Several times yesterday I felt great sadness and compassion for my body. This is likely the result of talking to my primary doctor about what I observe related to blood pressure and heart rate. She said the medications are not causing the things I am observing, so it makes her wonder about my heart. I am already scheduled to have a Coronary Artery Calcium Score test done next week.

The feelings of sadness and compassion for my body are like one would feel for “another” person. Awareness of all that my body has endured, plus a desire to care for it, fills me with great love.

The “Voice” assures me my heart is healthy.

The same “Voice” said it has assured me I was done with melanoma, and that has been the case.

At 2:00 am I received an email from a woman in our dharma study group. She is in her last trimester of pregnancy and she and her husband, their toddler son, and her parents are all ill with Covid. Two of Barbara Brodsky’s sons have tested positive and are quite ill. Another of my dharma buddies is also navigating.

I pick up crayons and a pen and begin to draw and write.

I draw a four-chambered heart, as observed in The Four-Fold Way: Walking the Paths of the Warrior, Teacher, Healer, and Visionary, by Angeles Arrien. Arrien is a cross-cultural anthropologist. She is a leading expert on native spirituality and shamanism. In The Four-Fold Way, she reveals the four archetypal principles of the Native American medicine wheel and how they can lead us to a higher spirituality and a better world.

Flowers spring up and I write a haiku (poem).

A Heart Haiku
Be strong, my dear heart
Be clear, like the open sky
Be full, like the moon

Opening can hurt
But being closed is not life
Break open, my dear heart

I write about beating. Beating all the odds. And that a heart breaks in only one direction: open. I write a an acrostic poem, in which the first letter (or syllable, or word) of each line (or paragraph, or other recurring feature in the text) spells out a word or message.

O – Only
P – Perfection
E – Exists
N – Now

I write a letter to my own physical heart.

Dear Heart,

I’ve taken you for granted most of my life. Please feel my gratitude for your constant beating — for moving blood through my body. For keeping time.

This day I pray for all hearts to awaken.

This day may all hearts be strong, clear, open and full.

May the heart of my body and the heart of this planet beat in harmony that all beings come to the end of suffering.

May all beings know peace.

Love, Debra

~ Daily Quote by Aaron