August 12, 1962

The dharma talk was direct. You don’t have to be a Buddhist to practice the precepts. The precepts are practical. I vow to harm none. I vow not to take what is not freely given. I vow not to misuse sexuality. I vow to refrain from false speech. I vow to refrain from intoxicants that can lead to heedlessness. The dharma teacher summarized it as I do not harm myself in thought, speech, or actions and I do not harm others.

He continued to clarify how it is not just guarding against not hurting self or others, it is also about helping. It is not just about not taking what is not freely given, it is about generosity. It is not just about avoiding suffering, it is also about experiencing joy.

I wrote in my journal: Today is a flip-the-calendar day, and today Stacey (our daughter from Tennessee) arrives.

I drew an Osho Zen Tarot card, asking specifically about the risk related to the Delta variant. Stacey is not vaccinated. I drew 9 of Rainbows: Ripeness, and the message seeps into my soul, “Only if your meditation has brought you a light that shines in every night will even death not be a death to you but a door to the divine…. you become one with the ocean…. and unless you know the oceanic experience, you have lived in vain. Now is always the time and the fruit is always ripe…. There is no such thing as wrong time.”

Reading from “A Midnight Clear” by Katherine Patterson in The Big Book for Peace found in the Little Free Library a few days ago, I meet a young boy who was experiencing fear after the nuclear bomb was dropped on Japan, until he meets a homeless woman who is likely sick and dying and learns from her how he, too, can “be not afraid.”

Recently I sent those words from the corpse prayer as written by Jarem Sawatsky in Dancing with the Elephants: Mindfulness Training For Those Living With Dementia, Chronic Illness or an Aging Brain (How to Die Smiling Series, #1) to a friend.

Be not afraid…. I embrace sacred life…. I embrace sacred death….

A flood of tears come. All the feelings from so many years. All of the emotions from this path of pandemic. Iask the guides and helpers to help transform loneliness (absence of the other) into aloneness (presence of the self).

Am I concerned about my un-vaccinated daughter coming for a visit? Yes. Am I afraid for her? Yes. Am I afraid for me? Yes.

Be not afraid…. I embrace sacred life…. I embrace sacred death….

P.S. I said to John last night that it would be so wonderful if she told us she had gotten vaccinated, but I welcome peace NOW that is not conditioned on someone or something else. There is no such thing as a wrong time.

Will she get Covid? Will I? The future will reveal itself. If this is my time to die, can I embrace the sacred death? If this is my time to live, can I embrace the sacred life?

I put the pen in my left hand and let spirit write:

You know there is no dead. The leaving of the body is just a step on the path.

You know the ocean-ness. You have always known that.

It is eleven days until August 12.

(August 12, 1962 — at age 12 — I had a near-death experience.)

From the online information about The Big Book for Peace, by by Ann Duren and Marilyn Sachs: Peace — the issue of our times — affects everyone, but especially children, who deserve and wish for a peaceful future. Now over 30 of the best-loved authors and illustrators for children have combined their talents in a big, wonderful book for and about peace.