Your Place in the Family of Things

A few days ago, the mold saga continued as late in the evening our friend ripped up carpet preparing for solid flooring installation in the manufactured home she bought here in our park and found this:

(see Lessons from the Mold)

She was having a very difficult time navigating all of the uncertainty. I totally get that. I said I would come the following day while she was at work and I would get the rest of the carpeting up so she would know the scope of the problem.

We are now lovingly calling my friend’s space ‘AREA 51’ as her home is located on Lot 51.

It never occurred to me that evening I would know to ask for help even as I was giving help.

There is a story of the Buddha when in a past life he offered himself as food to a hungry tiger and her cubs. The story says when you start off by sharing your dinner with the hungry tiger cub and then some years or lifetimes later, you are giving your dinner, it’s only a natural next step to simply give yourself. For one for whom there is a giver it would not be an appropriate action, it would create an unwholesome karma for both you and the tiger cub. What happens is at some point there is no giver and no one given to. You are not making a martyr of yourself, because there’s really no distinction between you and the hungry tiger. You see the being suffering and you give.

The following morning, as I prepared to head over to her home, I spontaneously wrote a note to the guy across the street, “I need someone with strength at Lot 51 for a few minutes.” He arrived home from the gym as I was writing the note, so I walked across the street and knocked on his door. I pointed to the note, told him what happened, and said simply, “I could use your help ripping up the rest of the carpet.”

He walked over as I drove. There he stood—with a large pair of pliers, a utility knife, and a snub-nosed spade. He was amazing…. He showed me how to use the spade, and by working together, in less than an hour, we had all carpet and pad removed.

And we found NO additional mold. I sent my friend these photos:

I came home to have some lunch and rest a bit. I wrote a ‘thank you’ note, slipped 3 twenty-dollar bills into it, and taped it on his door as I headed back to remove the tack strips, pull up the linoleum, and sweep up the mess.

When I got back home the 3 twenty-dollar bills were in this envelope taped on my door:

When I saw him later, he grinned and said, “I kept the card.”

Wild Geese

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting –
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

~Mary Oliver