By Debra Basham, on January 23, 2013
“You are older at this moment than you’ve ever been before,
and it’s the youngest you’re ever going to get.
The mortality rate is holding at a scandalous 100 percent.”
This quotation from the article “You Are Going to Die” by Tim Kreider is the first deep thought that I have on the early morning of my 63rd birthday. This deep thought sits in my mind like a wedge of fresh lemon sits on the tongue. It is still early enough to be dark as I am considering my own mortality in the screen room alongside the canal here in St. James City, Florida on this beloved Pine Island. At this moment I am hypersensitive to the sounds trickling in from outside: a few early birds, the splash of mullets jumping, some distant vehicles, and a faint Grandfather’s clock chiming the hour. There’s something both refreshing and painful about the truth of my mortality and I now hear Seals and Crofts singing in my head: “we may never pass this way again….”
Is 63 years too young to think of death? What about 70? I don’t remember at what age my father began to say, “This may be my last Christmas…” but when my mother-in-law now says, “When I’m gone” my husband usually responds by asking her where she’s going.
The truth is we’re all going, and we don’t consciously know when, where, and how. Born-again Christians focus on the where, preparing for the hereafter by accepting Jesus so they can be sure they are going to go to Heaven not Hell.
Whatever your beliefs, there is an inevitability to the movement of time. Many of the common metaphors around time are similar to the metaphors we often use for money. We talk about spending time and that it is important how we invest it. Perhaps at a deep level we do recognize that the moments of our lives are invaluable.
Angeles Arrien, cross cultural anthropologist and author of The Four Fold Way, asks us to ponder what we want to do with this one wild, precious, thing called LIFE.
Eight weeks ago yesterday I went into surgery not knowing for sure how things would play now. Although I continue on my healing journey, which has included overcoming some of the postsurgical complications, the prognosis for my living a long and happy life is good. We are all very thankful for that….
Betty Lue Lieber wrote in her Loving Reminders, “When we validate other’s illnesses, we increase our own likelihood of the same. We are all living out the thoughts and beliefs of those with whom we associate and agree with. Your experience was not yours personally.”
If she is right and it is true that we are all living out the thoughts and beliefs of those with whom we associate and agree with, inside, what am I thinking and believing and how do I feel? Young? Old? Middle-aged? This morning, sitting here, witnessing dawn revealing the canal to my still-somewhat-drowsy eyes, the truth is I feel as though I am ageless. This morning, drunk with the elixir of another tropical dawn, the idea that I am older at this moment than I’ve ever been before, and the youngest I’m ever going to get has my heart soaring with glee.
I’ve spent the last four days keeping up with 14-year-old granddaughter, Courtney. We have been hiking, biking, kayaking, drumming, driving, and drinking and eating all over these islands. We’ve enjoyed close encounters with nature including Eagle, Manatee, and this Dolphin checking Courtney out in the photo below. We have been making memories. 
I remember when my own mother was aging, hearing her express regret and remorse that she had wasted her life. I think now about her legacy, of which I am an intimate part. I think about my own beloved daughter, Courtney’s mom, Stacey. And I think about the possibility of yet-unborn-great-grandchildren in the future.
But more importantly than what has been or what might yet come to be, at this moment I treasure that my heart is beating in my chest. I am humbled to have eyes to see the darkness, the dimness of dawn, the brilliance of the noon-day sun, and the shadow of eventide. I’m grateful that at most moments, on most days I seem to be in my right mind. I am grateful to choose to be alive!
And today this poem represents my birthday wishes to me:
What a day this is; my empty slate
on which each thought creates my experience
If I hold hatred, I experience that
As I embrace love, I witness the same
Breathe
Release
Remember
Revere
There is much more sweetness than cake
There is much more sour than lemon
There is much more death than body
There is much more life than physical
Today you can hoist your sail and face the wind
The breeze can be trusted to blow
This message from my beloved sister, Janis:
Happy birthday, my gosh….. You were such a darling baby and little girl who has grown into an amazing and beautiful woman. So blessed to have known you your entire life. Have a fabulous day. I love you!!!!
This message from my beloved sister, Johnnie Sue:
A moment I remember with Daddy for you is the day you and Dad were in the accident. When I walked into the bedroom where he was lying,I asked how he was. With tears in his eyes he said,”I am OK but ‘diba dab…’ and he could not go on. He loved you very much and so do I…
I will close with a quotation by Victor Hugo, “Thesupreme happiness of life is the conviction of being loved for yourself, or more correctly, being loved in spite of yourself.” This is a very comforting message for this anniversary day of my birth. How can it get any better than this?
By Debra Basham, on January 14, 2013
May I forgive myself for mistakes made and things left undone.
“Encountering Grief: A 10-Minute Guided Meditation”
with Zen Abbot, Joan Halifax
When I was on Pine Island last winter, I purchased a 1,000 piece jigsaw puzzle that featured the area. It had been produced by the Chamber of Commerce, and was sold in the featured businesses. Just a couple of days before I arrived, an arsonist set a fire that totally destroyed the offices of the Chamber, and the inventory of the puzzles. The ones that were already in stores were the only copies of the puzzle, so when I saw one for sale at a favorite shop (Earth and Spirit Garden Gallery), I purchased mine.
The puzzle when home with me unopened, and returned back to Pine Island with me still in the box. Given that I am still recovering from surgery in November, I decided having the puzzle to work on would be a good recovery tool. I was not prepared for the lessons that working toward completion on a 1,000 piece puzzle might present, but I am certainly thankful.
The title of this blog might have been, “All I Really Needed to Know I Learned Putting Together the Pine Island Puzzle.”
I learned that it is good to have a very big table if you are working on a puzzle that is 2 feet wide and 30 inches tall. When I first laid out all the pieces, the entire dining table was covered. Our meals were eaten at the breakfast bar in the kitchen or on TV trays in the screen room. In some ways, this reminded me of how much of my life was affected by my recent healing journey. The process leading up to the surgery, the surgery itself, the post-surgical complications, the recovery…. Any single aspect could have had a significant impact on my schedule, and with all the pieces spread out, it feels a bit like November and December 2012 did not exist for me. But, like the Pine Island puzzle, you can only take one step at a time.
Separate all the straight-edged pieces so you can assemble the border. Think about doing this process with 1,000 pieces. Some days this is what life feels like. It can be a bit overwhelming, even when you are clear that you can only do what you can do at any given moment.
After the border was assembled, I decided to work on the next layer inward. There was lots of detail in that, so it was easier to see what went where. Sometimes our choices are so obvious, they are sometimes called “a no-brainer.” I was surprised how obsessed I became working on the puzzle. It was as though it was my job to finish it, and I guess that is true since I was the only one working on it.
Once in a while I would get stumped and give John the “job” of helping me find a certain piece in the image on the box. After a few days of that, he went to the flea market and bought me a set of magnifying glasses….
I discovered that the daytime light was best, but it seemed such a waste of sunny weather to be in the house putting together a puzzle. We do sometimes find ourselves stuck somewhere in our minds rather than enjoying the experiences of our lives. To remedy this, I would use some time in the morning when the light was good and John was still sleeping to sort for finer distinctions.
General colors would go together. Then within that color I would put the shorter and taller and fatter and thinner “H” shaped pieces in an area for each according to color and size. Once John was up and had coffee and breakfast, we would go for our bike ride. As the puzzle was coming together, my healing seemed to be doing the same. I am thrilled at how much stronger I am in just one week!
After the outer and inner borders were in place, I would put focused attention on an area where several pieces came together. Most of the task was visual, but it demanded paying attention to details. I have noticed that amplified awareness about what I eat or what I think or how I sit or breathe. It is really a gift to allow everything in life to be welcomed as spiritual practice.
For example, I notice how I think about trash I see around the island. Rather than be critical about who was careless or even malicious, I notice what a sense of honor I have at cleaning it up (even though I know I was not the one who left the mess). Regardless of the specific situation, and even if we are talking about emotional messes, this can be done without a sense of obligation (been shouldin’ on myself for too long).You can bring beauty where you are. You can contribute to the world. You can leave things better than you found them.
As I worked on the Pine Island puzzle, teachings I have heard seeped into my bones. I was putting the pieces of my own heart and mind and body together! The puzzle became for me a living metaphor, and I allowed images of my jigsaw belly to come together along with the images of the jigsaw puzzle.
As the last pieces were coming together, I was sharing via text with my sister, Janis. We were taking about the way our lives really are getting easier. For us, the joy of the natural world is a big part of the healing. Her cat is Dusana. I have wonderful cats in my life in Michigan, too, and here on the island I visit two cats. I visit Sonny at the auto shop, and Hector at the ice cream parlor. I go see these cats just because I love petting kitties and these two kitties love the attention. Sonny forgets to swallow and slobbers! Hector is very at home with himself and sleeps soundly even with crowds of customers around him. It is very sweet and loving them just feels purrfect, if you know what I mean….
When I had only twelve pieces left (who is counting?) to completion, John came in to help. I could have been resentful thinking about how overwhelming it was when there were 1,000 pieces to sort, but I was aware of him choosing to share the joy with me. It turned into a bit of a coaching session, with my sharing aloud how I use the visual strategy to spot the piece to go into the section I am working on. “It will be taller, or shorter, fatter or thinner….” I felt myself slide into the ease you experience when you know you do not have to do it all yourself. I enjoyed having him enjoy being able to see what would go where. It was a surprise and a pleasure, and rather Zen.
He gave me the privilege of putting in the last piece, which was quite special as it was a piece that had been searched for over and over and over, seemingly without success. The missing piece was right in the middle, right at the top, of the puzzle. This was a very obvious piece, one that was within the “inner” border. When I was down to only seven pieces, I counted the open section to see if there was one for up there. You never know for sure if a piece is missing.
The mystery of the last piece of the puzzle is still with my heart and soul this evening. My own inner journey of healing is not complete just because the Pine Island puzzle is finished.
Completion is a state of constant process. You are always complete and yet always evolving. As Abraham-Hicks has said, “You can’t get it wrong, because you can’t get it done.” I am very thankful for this truth. It lets you go to bed at night and sleep and dream well. Life will have another puzzle for us to live tomorrow. Life is not a puzzle where there is a last piece to be put in place. Life’s puzzle is itself a living matrix.
By Debra Basham, on January 6, 2013
My sister, Janis, has been working with some wonderful old photos of our family. This comes, in part, by the recent awareness we have that our paternal grandmother is of Native American decent. My sister has been very drawn to that spiritual path, and, of course, I have been blessed to enjoy it as part of my own interfaith journey. The interesting news of our grandmother comes from an older cousin who reported that she was “found” as a child, and raised by a family. He said that while everyone knew she was “an Indian” no one ever said a word about it or about where she came from.
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| My paternal grandmother, Mary Smith, with her husband, Dove, and four of their children. |
As I was pondering hiding in plain view as part of our family history, Mark Nepo’s sharing of a quotation by Angeles Arrien touched me to my core:
My grandmother told me, “Never hide your green hair—They can see it anyway.”
I started thinking about all the things that have been hidden. My mom had been married before she was married to my dad, but I did not know of that until after I was already married myself. My mom and my mother-in-law were sitting at the table having a cup of coffee when my mother-in-law casually said, “Cathryn, I know Howard was married before and had a daughter by that marriage, but were you married previously?” Imagine my surprise to hear my mom respond that she had been married once, briefly, but that marriage had been annulled.
As I sit and witness my belly continuing to heal from the surgery to remove a 21 cm tumor that had formed on my left ovary, it makes me curious how much other stuff is hiding in plain view and what freedom can be experienced when we move beyond the fears that come from (and might just possibly cause) hiding.
Mark Nepo (The Book of Awakening, January 5) hits the nail on the head when he writes that blackmail is only possible if we believe we have something to hide. In my life, much of the guilt and hiding has been around sexuality. The most obvious of this was having become pregnant before my sixteenth birthday. As the years unfolded, that event resulted in the birth of our wonderful daughter (the mother of my amazing grandchildren). It has all been a blessing in my life, but at the time there was much pain around the experience given the influence of patriarchy in our world.
I lived with the shame of “having to get married” and then the shame of being a high-school dropout because married females were not allowed to attend school. Married males were… but a married woman was sexually active and would be a bad influence on the other girls.
Times have changed since 1966, but I wonder how much we have changed, and more importantly, I wonder how much I have changed.
Mark’s closing words in that writing: “The inner corollary of this is that worthless feelings arise when we believe, however briefly, that who we are is not enough.”
It is my sincere intention that I have allowed my body to be free from the burden of having hidden sexual guilt. As I prepared for my surgery, I knew you can have other “stuff” removed. My own life, my mother’s life, and my paternal grandmother’s lives had been full of secrets. I was fully aware my own healing was able to reach back in time and make all the adjustments to allow for moving forward free from all of that.
(Here is an article about female sexuality on a global scale, as it relates to patriarchy.)
By Debra Basham, on January 1, 2013
This is a day I was not sure I would experience. That may sound strange to some, but it has a very deep core of meaning for me. In October of 1999, I was at a workshop where one of the exercises was to look ahead in time and see the end of your timeline. When I did that, mine ended in 2012. The guy who was leading that workshop was a bit shocked, since I would only be 62 years old at that time, and he suggested I “go in and change the date.”
I am not at all sure what I was thinking about freedom of choice and the nature of life as being malleable, but I refused to change things, saying I would live out my destiny.
From time to time, I admit that I have thought about that, but in early October when I discovered a mass in my abdomen, I began to experience pretty intense stress around all of that. I did not feel ready to die and I even told a good friend I was not organized enough for my life to end!
This morning, looking at my journal entry for Sunday, November 11, 2012, the day before I had the CT scan showing that the mass was on the left ovary, I read this note from Mark Nepo’s The Book of Awakening: crises reveals the raw surface of the mind.
Later that morning I saw Leah. I am so thankful to have a skilled acupuncturist who is also a Chinese medicine doctor. After a complete evaluation, she said, “No cancer.” She did find a blockage in the urethra area, as well as in the intestine. She felt it was good that I was having the CT scan so I would have more information.
In the afternoon, Nancy and I went to the peace path that is co-sponsored by our Saint Joseph Sangha and is at St. Anthony’s. What a wonderful, soulful place. I was touched by the commitment of those souls to justice and peace. What legacy they brought to our world, such as Aung San Suu Kyl, a Buddhist woman who has worked tirelessly to bring democracy to Burma, or Sophia Magdalena Scholl, who was executed for her anti-Nazi efforts.
On Monday, November 12, 2012, I made a note from Neale Donald Walsh’s thought for the day: The bad news does not have to get you down. It can actually get you going. Now may be a wonderful time to get back to basics, like board games with your children, quiet talks with your friends, a moment of gentleness with your spouse.
I also made mention that I observed in my body that the pain of emotionally grasping at/for love and connection feels just like the pain of fear and rejection! This insight seemed very significant, and as I had the thought I also heard a rapping that my sister Janis first referred to as a “Ceiling Walker”!
Mark Nepo’s words from the reading for that day were sharp as an arrow: “The world as we know it must be broken so that we can be born anew. Almost dying was another shell I had to break.”
Mary Jo suggested I look back 10 years ago to see what I was dealing with at the soul level. In my journal entry from November 13, 2002, I was writing about clearing my death wish!
I hade been noticing the relevance at those times when the voice-to-text function would not catch things the way I had spoken them. My pet name for the happenings is to call it a Sirism, for Siri, the technical name for the iPhone function. I wrote down this one:
SIRISM
I can appreciate anything
I can create anything
Nepo again seems to be written along the trajectory of my own healing journey: “When we marry our humanness to our spirit, we create a life that is doubly strong in the world…. Means staying committed to your inner path.”
The cystoscopy showed a healthy bladder with a huge growth pushing into it. I went right from Dr. Stockton’s office in Saint Joseph to South Bend to see Dr. Michael Method. On the way I sent a text to my sister, Janis. She knew of Dr. Method, spoke very highly of him, and even told me she had a coworker who had a 9 pound benign tumor removed!
We went to a favorite oriental restaurant with Nancy before driving home. The fortune in my cookie: Your future is whatever you make of it, so make it a good one. It was certainly not smooth sailing. I wrote in my journal: Heart is racing now. Feet cold. Wondering if it was foolish to wait.
Asking what is real about the timing, I drew Tree of Life: Seek a greater understanding of his or her karmic circumstances and conditions. Careful consideration and observations give you the chance to set your karmic record straight. I make my decisions from a place of hope and faith. Reading from Louise Hay on tumor: I lovingly release the past and turn my attention to this new day. All is well.
An entry on Wednesday, November 14, 2012, speaks to the way the unconscious mind is playing out at the soul level:
Yesterday when I was on the table waiting for the cystoscopy, I had the sense of my dad’s spirit coming to me to apologize for his role in my having to go through this. It was about him having brought syphilis to me at the time of my conception. Later that day John said he saw my dad in me a couple of times. One of the times was at the restaurant with Nancy after we left Dr. Method’s office. I asked John to share those observations rather than wait for me to ask.My nephew took this photo of my dad years ago….
It was interesting that the key word for that day (Day 10 of the Deepak Chopra meditation) was on Karma. I made this note from Chopra’s writing: Today I make great choices because they are made with full awareness.
It is a new year. I am alive. In a note to Betty Lue earlier this morning, I shared that during the night last night I was very aware of the two voices: Inner coach or inner critic. Those voices create the world we live in! The thinker thinks, and the prover proves. I was with Betty Lue the first time I became aware of that inner critic. I had spilled a glass on her white carpeting in their condo at Parkview Hills. I heard a sarcastic tone inside say, “Grace.” I remember turning around inside my mind and challenging that voice by saying that even graceful people can have an accident and spill something and I would not tolerate being spoken to that way. Freedom, for each of us, begins with the smallest of steps away from anything that would keep us bound.
The wall hanging in Stacey’s bathroom has a great quotation on it about how life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. So today as I wish you a Happy New Year, it almost takes my breath away simply that I am in body and I am able to share this time with you here on planet earth.
By Debra Basham, on December 31, 2012
I went to hear Rev. Jim McConnell speak this morning because I knew the theme was bleak midwinter or the season of our discontent. I knew this would be relevant to me as I have sometimes felt less than patient as I recuperate surgery. Especially with the tasks of readying for our departure, I have wanted to be more productive than I am capable of being right now.
Jim shared about having taking courses in soil in college and about the value of letting the fields lie fallow. Farmers used to routinely do this. Far from being a wasted season, leaving the soil unseeded after being ploughed and harrowed is the appropriate action to create greater fertility. In fact, the term even applies to ideas, as an idea or state of mind that is undeveloped or inactive is ripe with potentiality.
Jim said LIFE will ask you to answer the big questions for yourself. He said it will not be something you read in a book, or something a teacher or preacher or philosopher tells you. The answer is not something you can figure out or calculate. It is something that you become aware of.He said the answer will always come if you are willing to wait for it.
He shared some great stories of the faithfulness of seeking and finding. He also shared the story of Jonah. Most people think of that story as Jonah and the Whale, but after hearing Jim today, I will forever think of it as Jonah and the Worm.
You see, God told Jonah to go to the city of Nineveh, a city full of wickedness. Jonah was to give them a warning. Hmmm…. Rather than follow God’s command, as the story is written, Jonah set sail in the opposite direction. Although I have never been to Niveveh, I certainly have had my share of rebelling against the guidance I had to move in a certain direction.
Well, as luck would have it, a huge storm came up and Jonah’s companions recognize that this is no ordinary storm. The sailors are said to have cast lots to determine “whose god is responsible.” The lot fell on Jonah and they heaved him overboard!
Most folks who grew up with familiarity with the Judeo Christian myths remember that Jonah spends three days in the belly of the fish, gets barfed out onto the shore, and has the change of heart that he best get to Nineveh to share that warning, which he did. After giving the warning, expecting the destruction within the 40 days, Jonah leaves the city, but stays close. He finds a shade plant and is content to wait to see the action.
Now enter the worm….
The way the story is told, God causes a worm to bite the plant’s root and it withers. Without its shade, Jonah becomes very uncomfortable, and he grieves the death of the plant. He wants to die to be out of his misery. The lesson is one of compassion—for the people of Nineveh and for Jonah.
As I continue my healing journey in the Florida sunshine, this is my sacred intention: I will have compassion for myself and welcome this time to lie fallow. I will rest. I will enjoy nature. Spring will come, and with it, new life will grow in the fertile soil of my life.
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| A beautiful view from the deck… |
By Debra Basham, on December 20, 2012
Last night a good friend, Laurel Izard, called to share what she received in her reading for me. The first thing that came through was my Paternal Grandmother. I did not know my father’s mother, but I remember being at the home of my cousin, Eddie McDaniel, and having him show me a photo of her. I was shocked that she looked like a Native American. Ed said no one talked about it, but that she did have Indian blood.
Laurel’s sense was that my Great Grandmother wanted to connect with me.
Another image that came through for Laurel was Woody woodpecker, which she interpreted as trickster energy around me. I certainly been aware of that!
Today’s reading, in The Book of Awakening, by Mark Nepo, “As a child I would talk to things—birds that flew overhead, trees that swayed slowly in the night, even stones drying in the sun.”
Remembering the conversation with Laurel and now reading Mark’s words, I find this all very interesting. I woke up this morning having a profound sense of the nonphysical support that has been with me in my recovery. I decided to give names for to my companions: Grace and Ease!
I have been completely aware that asking for support on a continual basis allows me to move with less discomfort, allows me to feel better physically, and even enables me to experience a greater sense of emotional stability. Even ordinarily very simple or mundane tasks: rolling over in bed; getting into or out of bed; sitting down on or getting up from the toilet; or picking up something I dropped–each of these is made significantly more or less difficult, by my forgetting to or remembering to ask for help.  I will actually say to myself, “Okay team, let’s do this!”
When I read the quotation by Mark Nepo this morning, and thought about how Native Americans have always talked to Nature Spirits, I was also remembering my nurse, Francesca, telling us about her speaking in this way as she was growing up in Africa. She told stories of going out to the mango orchard, speaking to the gods of the mango trees, asking permission to pick fruit, then speaking words of gratitude.
This makes me think about the book, Behaving As If the God in All Life Mattered, by Machaelle Small Wright.
A friend stopped to visit with me the a few days ago. While he was here, he got that faraway gaze is his eyes, and his voice got quiet as he leaned toward me and asked me what would I most have learned from this experience that is valuable for him and for others.
The answer was simple: Ask for help. Expect that you live in a nonphysical support system—one that is ready, willing, and able to provide you with continuous support, but you must ask!
This is not a new awareness for me, having previously written about that subtle support system, but the sense of total grace and the ease of being that comes from feeling yourself supported is new, or maybe amplified.
Whether you think of your support as angels, guides, or simply the benefit of aligning with your own inner being, I wonder what a difference it will make if we experiment with how much more we can get out of life when you make Grace and Ease your constant companions.
This may just be the new world coming after the end of the old world tomorrow on 12/21/12….
By Debra Basham, on December 11, 2012
From The Book of Awakening, by Mark Nepo (December 3)
It reminds me of a dream I had when ill, in which I came to the edge of a forest where the narrow, lighted spaces called to me. I stood there through many opportunities until an ageless woman of great resolve appeared, saying, “You can’t start, I know, and if I were kind, I see you halfway in, but I am more than kind. You must enter alone. I will meet you on the other side.”
Now that I am somewhat on the other side of the recent healing crisis that resulted in my surgery on November 26, and the complications that followed, and am now full-time on the roller-coaster ride of recovery, those bright spots of divine connections are fading fast.
I wonder how significant it really is that I am using breathingwell.com.au, a program for functional breathing by Roger Price—”Price” being my mother’s maiden name. I question how relevant it is that BX Protocol (heal even late stage cancer at the cellular level) has been and is being researched by Dr. Duane Smith—”Smith” being my maiden name.
It is as though the many, many, many precious moments of “Synchro destiny” are now tumbled in my loss of routine, lack of energy, and the new normal of focus on medicine and discomfort and healing within and without. For now, I am seeing dim images—and in moments of the greatest emotions of weakness, pain, and discouragement—I have briefly even wondered how real they are.
However, I am thankful I had witnesses along the road. I remember going to my post-surgical check up and at the exact moment I was showing Nancy the photo of one of the angels who took care of me, we were hearing a nurse come into the waiting room to announce the name of a patient with the same name: Elizabeth. We looked at each other in the way those of us do when we know we are seeing the fabric of the universe unfolding around us. Just knowing that helps me keep the faith. Oh, by the way, nurse Elizabeth goes by, Lizzie.
A part of my intestines had trouble waking up. The parts that were awake have been vigorously jumping up-and-down trying to move things through. The result has been wildly chaotic and truly painful. I am wondering now if this is what our planet might be going through right now.
It occurs to me that those who are awake might have been causing as much turbulence for the one we are, as those who were yet asleep.
Today, I find myself wishing I could just take a nap, wake up, and find myself home in this body and on the planet. It would be a great day to bake cookies, or wrap presents, or meet a friend for lunch.
Today I hold my dear friend, Carol, in thoughts and prayers. If you will, join me in prayers and thoughts for Carol and her young daughter Lizzie. Lizzie, born in 1985… Lizzie, married just a couple of months ago…
Lizzie, who has experienced liver failure thought to be the result of active alcoholism. Lizzie, who has now experienced kidney failure due to the liver failure. Carol writes that the family is experiencing much healing as they gather around their beloved Lizzie. They are exploring Palliative care options now.
Today I focus on beads 4, 5, and 6 from the Daily Recollection prayer by Barbara Brodsky. I focus my consciousness for Lizzie and for me and for all sentient beings as I use my prayer beads:
Buddha is also the awakened nature inherent in all things. Awakened nature is within me; my mind is the true Buddha. This Buddha mind is inherently free and already liberated. To know this awakened nature and live the awakened life is the balance to which I aspire. Awakened nature is present everywhere. Resting there, all karma is released, yet my mind and body are still accountable.
There is something quite terrifying when the vehicle we are currently traveling in seems to not be working. In this world, having normal bowel and bladder processes seems like such a miraculous gift. I am suddenly reminded of the words sent to Carol by Pete Wehle, “Today is! Don’t worry about tomorrow because tomorrow never is! Today is!”
I hold the intention of the liquids I drink being able to go in and come out with ease. I ask my intestines to work in harmony to draw out the nutrients from the free-range eggs I scrambled and ate, and to excrete the toxins easily through my stools. Today, my goal is simple: to be able to have the energy to get in and out of the shower and put my clothes and to remember love is eternal. I light a candle for Carol and her beloved Lizzie and all else falls away….
By Debra Basham, on December 8, 2012
Quite possibly the greatest change in this whole process will occur within ourselves.
We don’t think much of ourselves, or in the other extreme, sometimes way too much!
In any case, most people are terrible to themselves!
They beat themselves up for their mistakes and crucify themselves for their “failures and shortcomings.”
I have had clients who were still beating themselves up for things that had happened forty and fifty years ago!
Ross Bishop (December 7, 2102)
I had a complete hysterectomy that was needed because of a very large benign tumor on my left ovary. The surgery was November 26, and following a couple of complications, I came home on Sunday, December 2. Thursday, December 6, 2012 was my first day being able to take care of myself at home all day
I decided I would enjoy a ginger chew, and I got one out of the box in the cupboard, and then proceeded to drop it onto the floor. It is amazing how many things I have dropped since I got home. I would never have thought about that, before not being able to bend over and pick whatever it was up.
Wanting to prove that I could take care of myself, I artfully managed to use my right foot to get that chew up on top of my left foot.
After three tries, I was successful lifting my left foot straight up, while still keeping the ginger chew balanced on the top of my foot, until I nabbed it with my right hand!
Feeling full of pride, I victoriously proceeded to try to unwrap that ginger chew. However, the real lesson soon came into awareness.
That chew was soft and gooey, and the paper would not come off, so I had to throw it away!
I have eaten a lot of those ginger chews over the past several years, and I have never had that happen before…
As I disgustedly opened the pantry to get another ginger chew, I silently understood the truth that I am at choice. Life can be seen as a game that is to be won or lost. I can work very hard to win or at the very least to not lose—trying and trying to prove something to myself or to someone else—or I can be gentle with myself, knowing that things do not all have to be resolved immediately.
I will never know for sure, but I am curious if I had left that first ginger chew on the floor until John got home from work, would it have unwrapped for him as easily as the one I had just eaten?
Last evening I was very uncomfortable physically and feeling quite vulnerable emotionally. With my feet in the lap of my husband, I tried without success to get into a posture to relax. Tears began to flow along with thoughts about things I have lost.
It was more than just about the hollow place in my abdomen where my body parts used to be. It was about having been given gas when I was delivering my daughter and missing the wonder of her birth. It was about also having been given a shot to dry up my milk, and missing the miracle of having a baby at my breast. It was about the days I have wasted feeling sorry for myself about this or that and having missed the blessing in what is happening at this very moment.
I just let myself feel the feelings and decided to turn on some music to help with the release. I set “Gentle With Myself” (track nine from Heart of Healing by Karen Drucker), to loop and I just let it sing me to sleep.
I have had a powerful sense this healing is about my own wounded divine inner feminine being freed by forgiving the human masculine. It is my sincere prayer that each of us has taken that lesson to heart, so we can all live the beautiful serenity that it is never too late to have a happy childhood and there is always time to live happily ever after. Thank you, Karen, for these healing lyrics….
I will be gentle with myself.
I will be gentle with myself.
And I will hold myself like a newborn baby child.
I will be tender with my heart.
I will be tender with my heart.
And I will hold my heart like a newborn baby child.
And I will only go as fast as the slowest part of me feels safe to go.
I will only go as fast as the slowest part of me feels safe to go.
I will be easy on myself.
I will be easy on myself.
And I’ll love myself like a newborn baby child.
And I will only go as fast as the slowest part of me feels safe to go.
Now, I know…
I am gentle with myself.
I am gentle with myself.
And I hold myself like a newborn baby child.
And I rock myself like a newborn baby child.
I hold myself like a newborn baby child.
I love myself like a newborn baby child.
Gentle with Myself, by Karen Drucker
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| Not yet comfortable sitting at the keyboard, this works just fine! |
By Debra Basham, on November 22, 2012
All those statistics that you are gathering about your own experiences
and about others are only about how somebody has flowed Energy.
It isn’t about any hard fast reality.
Abraham-Hicks
(Excerpted from the workshop in Detroit, MI on Saturday, July 8th, 2000)
Yesterday’s “messages from the universe” arrived in multiples, as though the only thing the divine has to do is to support and guide me. I agree with you that this is not about a personal “I”, however, as life is there for each of us all the way every day. Some days it is easier for you to see that, though, and yesterday was another one of those days for me.
Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow,
for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.
Matthew 6:34
I admit that these messages are more significant to me personally right now, as I will be having a hysterectomy on Monday morning to aid the healing that is already happening by removing a significant cystic tumor from my left ovary. In the past couple of weeks I have had more tests than in the previous twenty years, and there are more to come.
Yesterday, though, my thoughts were less on me than on the way we are all interconnected. Last week I learned about Roger Price and the Breathing Well process, and in less than 24 hours, I had shared it with a friend who was hospitalized for treatment for cellulitis and having an extremely rough time of white-coat syndrome. Proper breathing got her blood pressure down and got her home!
Check out the introductory video and see Debra’s Monday, November 26, 2012 Tip for Well-being at http://scs-matters.com.
Perhaps the whole point of our finding gifts along the way is being able to share them with others. I would like you to take a few minutes to meet a remarkable young woman: Elizabeth Ossowska. You will immediately see that Ela, as her grandmother calls her, is a lovely, sweet, ten-year-old. Not so obvious just looking at her is that she is undergoing treatment for cancer. With all that treatment involves, what does Ela dread most? Being poked by needles—“because they hurt”!
The woman who was interviewed with Ela said that needles are often the worst fear for kids with cancer. I was reminded of the young man who was going to have both of his rib cages removed, flipped over, reversed, and reinstalled, and he was afraid of the shots! You can read about James in Success Stories on the Imagine Healing website, and (p. 44-45) in FallingTogether in Love, Stories from My Heart For and About YOU
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| Ela holding her baby brother during the TV interview. |
Join me in healing intention for Ela. Hold her in your loving thoughts and prayers. May her Christmas wish come true—to be finished with treatments. Meanwhile, hold energy also for Ela’s grandmother who is going to let the news interviewer and those at the Stollery Hospital (Canada) know that children (or anyone, for that matter) can clear the fears!
Fears can be released quickly and easily using the Fast Phobia Cure, developed by Richard Bandler, co-founder of Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP). If you are new to NLP, here is a video of Joel Bowman (co-developer of Subtle Communication Systems) helping Liz get over the fear of public speaking.
What unexpected gifts we experience in it all when we realize what we are learning is not for us alone, but is to be shared as blessing for the world. Now that is truly something worth giving thanks for.
By Debra Basham, on November 19, 2012
Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
~ Buddha
This evening I was in the middle of my muddle when I received an email message from another human being navigating the “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune” called health care. “I am in the midst of so much conflicting information (all of which seems to have good scientific basis) that I have temporarily decided to just choose one system and stick with it alone until I see how I am doing after a reasonable trial.”
She went on to say, “I am just curious—how do you handle things when there is too much conflicting info, most of which makes sense on its own?” As is often the way it happens, clarity and peace comes when you open your heart on behalf of another.
You are very right about each of us needing to find what fits for us. So often we’re looking for something external, rather than understanding well-being as an internal state that is ever-present, untouched by the current conditions.
The itching of a broken bone is evidence of the healing that is happening. At times of healing crises, physical or emotional or mental or spiritual, that confusion is really an indication of change. When you can welcome that as a litmus test, you can soften around it and you will discover “it”—whatever “it” is, changes.
At this time we are all experiencing confusion and overwhelm and overload, each with our unique circumstances. The beauty is that life is designed to help us.
Just today, two friends and I were together, and we were scheduled to be at another friend’s home at 1 o’clock. It became obvious we were going to be about 15 minutes late, so we looked for the phone number of the woman where we needed to be. Although all three of us thought we had it, none of us did.
Linda drove her car planning to make couple stops and meet us there. Nancy and I left 815 Main Street, and went to Tosi’s for a bowl of soup. When we walked in, there sat Kate’s husband! He was able to give her a call, and let her know we would be arriving about 15 minutes late!
We could not have orchestrated that!
But LIFE was able to.
We are in the process of coming to believe what is real— not about breathing, not about techniques, but about life itself. And right now, each one of us is being presented with the perfect circumstances to let us learn that lesson.
You’re in my prayers, and I trust that I am also in yours.
Six months from now, we will be in a very different place around all of this. It’s growing pains, that’s all.
What gift it is to be able to see for another when he or she cannot see. What an honor to share the presence of mind in the face of confusion and overwhelm. What a miracle to bring ourselves to whatever is before us and know the truth, “I am enough.”
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| Debra with friend, Ron. |
Everybody can be great… because anybody can serve.
You don’t have to have a college degree to serve.
You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve.
You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.
~ Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
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