By Debra Basham, on March 19, 2013
I am not preoccupied with death, but it would be true to say that I have a hyper sensitivity to mortality, meaning to the passing from the current. The reality is that everything changes form, but it does not mean an end to us, it means a new beginning: “…the caterpillar has the heart of a butterfly.”
InThe Anatomy of the Spirit: The Seven Stages of Power and Healing, Caroline Myss writes of the parallels between the sacraments (Christian), the chakras (Hindu), and the Sefirots of the Jewish Kaballah. Growing up as a Protestant, reading her book was the first time I heard the term extreme unction, but I already knew the blessing of prayers for healing and anointing with oil.
Extreme unction today is associated most often the forgiveness of sins and preparation for physical death known commonly as “last rights.” In the Roman Catholic sacrament the anointing and blessing is of the organs of the five external senses (eyes, ears, nostrils, lips, hands), the feet, and, for men, the loins. In the Eastern Orthodox Church, the sacrament is done by multiple (seven, five, or three) priests (when it is absolutely necessary it can be done by just one); anointing the forehead, chin, cheeks, hands, nostrils, and breast. You can certainly see why Myss associated the sacraments with the chakras.
The crown (seventh) chakra is located at the top of the head, and is the energy from which our physical manifestation is said to come. It is seen as eternal, having neither a beginning nor an ending, and is the expression of our devotion (as in to a deity or cause), prophecy, and inspiration.
Symbolically it represents the process of retrieving one’s spirit from the various corners of one’s life that still hold unfinished business. One calls one’s spirit back in order to end this world and return to the spiritual dimension complete.
The sacred truth in the seventh chakra is Live in the Present Moment.
As I organize and pack, in preparation for leaving Pine Island next week, I will hold loving intention for this home on Skipper Lane (and Katey, its owner), the kitties I have visited (Sonny and Hector), the Eagles, the Tortoises, Grandmother Tree, and each of the people I have met. I will remember Dave, from Pine Island Cycles, who brought me an innertube at 9:30 on a Saturday night so I could ride bikes on Sunday with Linda Higbee, visiting from Michigan. I will remember Scott and Diane Lampitt, owners of Earth & Spirit Garden Gallery, where I held a book signing and workshop around Stories. I will especially hold intention for the other members of Pine Island Writers, each of whom have touched my heart.
On my rides, I will sprinkle blessings of loving intention along the bike path just as the priests sprinkle holy oil on the specific areas of the body. I will be mindful of calling my spirit back in order to leave this sacred place and return to Michigan complete.
By Debra Basham, on March 14, 2013
Nature lets you create a cocoon of silence inside.
In an interesting way, the “sounds” of nature are part of what I experience as “silence.” Today I am listening to the wind. I admit that I love the sound. I am sure there would be an upper limit, meaning I am not delusional to think I would enjoy the sounds of a hurricane. I also value being safe and comfortable inside. To me, Nature isan inside job.
Last night I was treated to the most amazing cotton candy cloud formation. I don’t think I have ever seen anything just like it. I found myself (I love that phrase!) giddy watching the changing shapes and colors. One friend, humor author Sherri Conor, commented on my photo saying how cool it is that God never paints the same scene twice. Just like the sunsets, we are unique.
This winter has been a delicious time of self-discovery for me. I have been intentional about that, accepting the healing from surgery to be about a lot more than just having had that tumor removed (along with all of my feminine plumbing). It is not so much what happens to us in life, but what we make out of that. I chose to make this a time to reconnect to my core, and Nature has been the avenue for my doing that.
So what do you discover when you spend time with Nature in a cocoon of silence? You discover what you forgot: There are no accidents. Your life matters. You are loved. Life is worth living. There are myriad opportunities every moment to celebrate and be in joy.
Seeking nature’s truth for your life through quiet appreciation
offers you an important view of your own life
as tied to Nature’s support systems
and in turn to the spiritual support system of the Universe.
(Meredith L. Young–Sowers)
Angelic Messenger Cards: A Divination System for Self-Discovery
By Debra Basham, on March 7, 2013
“If you have a penny and I have a penny and we exchange pennies,
you still have one cent and I still have one cent.
But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange ideas,
you now have two ideas and I now have two ideas.”
– Unknown
It is wonderful, isn’t it, how you can give a blessing and then you have more than you previously had. I was pondering this idea while I was bike riding here in South Florida. The ride truly presented some interesting ideas, so I will share some of them with you.
We saw a tiny carcass on the side of the road. I took a photo of it, unsure what it was. A Google search for baby mouse images brought up one that looked just like this one we found, so I know that it was a mouse.
A grave marker beside the road caught our eye. It marks the spot where a young woman died when her car plummeted into the canal. Her family is raising money (and awareness), working to get a guard rail installed. There have been five crashes at that exact location in just seven years, two of them resulting in fatalities due to drowning.
As we were looking at a map, and the end of the bike lane, pondering whether to go on or turn around, a motorcyclist pulled over to the curb, hopped off his bike saying something about being stung on his leg. He unzipped his boot and a wasp flew out! It was mad as a hornet, and so was he! His comment was, “Too bad I did not get the satisfaction of killing the SOB!”
That got me thinking… so here is my “top five” list of things it is a miracle any of us survive:
1. Sneezing. We know your heart stops.
2. Anesthesia. We know your heart can stop during that, too.
3. Airplanes. It can’t be natural for something as big as a house to fly.
4. Slides. Why do they let a toddler climb to the top of an eight foot ladder?
5. Birth. How does a 7-10 pound baby get out of there alive?
Regardless, of why else, we survive because the highway of life is Miracle Parkway. Give thanks today… and every day!
By Debra Basham, on February 27, 2013 This past Saturday morning I went to a Peace River Center for Writers at Edison State College. I met another writer there, Irwin Schinkel. We had a phone conversation this morning and he asked me to answer what I want my book/s to lead to. Did I want consulting jobs, to be hired as a speaker, or….
Irwin is United Methodist, so he was curious how I went from my United Methodist roots to Unity. I was sharing how much passion I have around serving God by helping us integrate physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. We spoke of the chaos in the field of medicine, and how social institutions are being challenged at this time in human history. Some of you know that my personal mission statement is Living, encouraging, and enjoying a conscious spiritual journey.
Over a decade ago, when my Joel and I formed a partnership and started developing materials and leading workshops together, my goals were more in the realm of wanting consulting jobs to train professionals in what we call “Subtle Communication Systems.” We got our program approved by Association of Massage & Bodywork Professionals (ABMP), and we saw ourselves creating a legacy by training trainers and having them help to spread this integration. We also produced the audios and expected sales of our CDs and books.
At this point, I do not want to travel extensively to teach and train, and both of our homes have closets stuffed with about 800 copies of Healing with Language: Your Key to Effective Mind-Body Communication. We have talked of putting out boxes (like they do for puppies or kittens): FREE TO A GOOD HOME.
Having not been successful in building a sustainable audience for our trainings, but still desiring to make a positive difference in the world, my goals shifted to creating a more passive revenue stream from books and audio files. This led to the creation of http://ImagineHealing.info (for patients), and http://SurgicalSupport.info (for professionals).
I admit that it can be very challenging to provide a service or product to those who do not know they need it!
Below I have copied an article from the November 2010 edition of our monthly Beyond Mastery newsletter. I shared it with Irwin, as an example of what is important to me.
Inner asking led to some significant answers to Irwin’s question of me: I realized if something (book sales would be great) could generate enough money, I would build a space where people could come to heal. Some would come to learn meditation, some would come to teach it. Some would come to receive integrative medicine therapies, some would come to provide those services.
Many of those who have the desire to serve holistically and have learned the skills to do so have too few people access their services to make a living. Integrative doctors, such as those in the AHMA (American Holistic Medical Association), or ICIM (International College of Integrative Medicine), represent about 2 percent of the field, but everyone deserves to have truly integrative care, and our planet will benefit, too.
The insurance industry and big pharmaceutical firms have created a culture of illness and we have called it “health” care. Dee Edington, (his book is Zero Trends) says medicine is now the largest employer in the US, and illness the most lucrative industry. Because illness is the money-maker for the industry, no one within that industry is really invested in helping people avoid illness.
But it is not just about medicine, and I am not just militant about all of this. I am called to empower individuals to wake up. Patch Adams said we could stop the insurance industry immediately if groups of 100 would pool resources and share risks as cooperatives. That was the idea behind the original Mutual of Omaha. There was no self-serving industry getting rich off the people.
I am all for people developing wealth. Richard Bandler says the best way to help a poor person is not to be one. I am for living our lives from soulful principles that alleviate suffering where we can, provide support where we can, empowering ourselves and inspiring ourselves to live with peace of mind, as well as peace in the world.
I told Irwin that I am honored he has taken care to make contact with me. I consider that an answer to prayer and I trust that there is some divine movement happening that we will watch with deep joy. You can access all the archived issues of the newsletter, but here is the November 2010 issue I sent to Irwin:
Culture Shock
People keep asking me if I have recovered from my trip to Thailand. Some may be asking about jet lag. Some may be checking to see if I have readjusted to being back to work. I think I have some sense of what they mean, but I usually tell them that in some ways I hope that I never do.
Dealing with reverse culture shock was the subject of a CNN Internet news article by Tas Anjarwalla, “ Dealing with Reverse Culture Shock” (August 24, 2010). I have begun to put notes together for a book about the trip, so looking back at my Facebook entries and reviewing the video log are helping me make sense of things. In some ways, what I am experiencing now is helping me make more sense of the way I was affected by my first trip to Brazil to see John of God back in 2000.
As the article says, people expect to experience culture shock when they go toa foreign country, but coming home can actually be harder than going abroad. I miss the food. I went for Thai food the night I got back to US. I had my leftovers the next day, then I went for Korean food. I asked my friend at the Thai restaurant if he could make sweet buns. He said they are too labor-intensive, but I can get them in Chicago.
I miss the sounds. I don’t wake up to cuckoo bird, and I don’t go to sleep to gecko here. I miss my new friends from Thailand. They feel like my new family, and I don’t know if or when I will ever see them again.
There is something deeper that I miss, however, and that is the part I hope I never “get over.” I miss the kindness and the respect I experienced in the Thai people. It still brings tears to my eyes when I feel the way I was cared for. That feeling produces longings of its own….
They say if you want to know about water, don’t ask a fish. And if you want to know about air, don’t ask a bird. In a way, having grown up in this culture, I never really saw it. I know it has some benefits, too, otherwise people would not come here. My friend, Jimmy, who owns the Thai restaurant here in my home town of Saint Joseph, Michigan, grew up in Bangkok. He graduated from law school, and took a job with Volkswagen, and traveled to and lived in 22 different countries. He determined the U.S. was the best place in the world to live. I am glad he is here…. He is helping me recover from the reverse culture shock.
I am sure part of the longing is to be with people who value something I value—meditation. Once, in a far, far away time, as the hunger for this inner experience began to drive me, I ended up leaving my home church because an adult Sunday School class called “Listening for God” that I wanted to teach was such a radical offering it threatened the director of Christian education.
“You feel so rushed in this culture and bombarded with things,” said returned Peace Corps volunteer coordinator Jodi Hammer. Even though scientific research has been proving for years now, few Americans have any idea that their lifestyle is killing them. Interestingly, I even think of it as killing them, not as killing “us.”
The chronic disorders: heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure; as well as cancer, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, etc., have all been shown to be preventable with lifestyle changes. Dean Ornish, M.D., included one hour per day of yoga, meditation, or guided imagery (along with just a healthy diet and 30 minutes of exercise 6 days a week), and over 500 genes were positively influenced—cancer-causing genes were turned off along with cancer-prevention genes being turned on. This was after just three months! A bit more of the reverse culture shock article reads:
Anyone who’s been abroad, even for a short period of time, knows how hard it can be to keep quiet about your adventures, but you want to be careful not to sound pretentious or affected about your stay abroad.
Every time the word “recycle” is mentioned, no one really wants to hear about the Indian village you taught environmental basics in, but that doesn’t mean what you learned overseas isn’t important or interesting. In most situations, preventing that glazed-over look comes from knowing when and where your worldly knowledge is wanted.
People keep saying to me, “Debra, you are so quiet. What is going on?” I resist the urge to say that my heart is breaking just being back home, but in some ways it is. My heart is breaking that I have been teaching this stuff for a long, long time and yet, too few of the people I love have an understanding of the importance it has for their lives. My heart is breaking that we are offering a $2,500 NLP course for just $500 and people think they are too busy to take the time to attend. My heart is breaking that people die too soon, too scared, and too ignorant and yet the culture I live in is, for the most part, too arrogant to notice what they are missing.
Maybe 40 years after he clinically discovered that humans have the capacity to elicit the relaxation response rather than live in fight-or-flight, the new book by Herbert Bensen (author of The Relaxation Response) will tip the scales and wake up the medical community. The new book is called Relaxation Revolution: Enhancing Your Personal Health Through the Science and Genetics of Mind Body Healing. In it, Dr. Benson and William Proctor present the latest scientific findings, “revealing that we have the ability to self-heal diseases, prevent life-threatening conditions, and supplement established drug and surgical procedures with mind body techniques.”
The online information about the book says that in a special “treatment” section, Benson and Proctor describe how these mind body techniques can be applied—and are being applied—to treat a wide variety of conditions.
I heard once that the heart only breaks in one direction—open.
I hope that is true … and I hope that someday those of US who think we have all the answers because we have all the stuff will be able to look at ancient cultures and notice that things like chanting, and meditating, and laying on of hands, and enjoying dreamtime, and revering nature have a place in relieving us from this modern madness.
By Debra Basham, on February 17, 2013
There are two ways to be fooled.
One is to believe what isn’t true; the other is to refuse to believe what is true.
Søren Kierkegaard (1813-1855)
Several years ago, I wrapped up my two year-old grandson, Adam, and carried him outside to see an amazing starry sky. As he looked up into that vast night sky, he said only one word—D-A-R-K. As magnificent as those stars were that night, and even thought at the time I did not realize it, he must have not been able to comprehend the stars. All he experienced was darkness.
Today I have been reading Proof of Heaven: A Neurosurgeon’s Journey into the Afterlife, by Eben Alexander, M.D. I cannot say the information is new to me, but the words have certainly been soothing to my soul. A line from the book inspired this blog. “Imagine how limited our view of the universe would be if we never saw the star-spangled nighttime sky.” (p. 72)
I find my emotions jarred, once again a nagging wondering about what I have done to cause stress in relationship with someone I care deeply about. In the absence of an understanding, I am left to imagine all manner of possibilities. One difference this time is a haunting sense that there is some profound healing gift amidst the emotions—an unwinding of a pattern deep from within my unconscious.
I am writing a lot while I am here on Pine Island. I am also discovering an identity as a writer. After I read some of my work to my sister, Janis, I cried and said, “I think I finally know who I am!” Earlier this week I read How to Work with an Illustratorin which Cary Tennis says the creative process can trigger unresolved inner child issues. It makes sense, but I had not previously put the two together.
One of the threads of Proof of Heaven touched me deeply. Eben had been adopted because his birth mom had only been 16 when he was born, just a sophomore in high school. This is exactly the age and grade I was when my daughter, Stacey, was born.
In spite of his happy life with his adoptive family, Eben also felt a nagging to know what had become of his biological parents. An adult with children of his own, he discovered his biological mother and father had later married and then had several children so he had blood siblings!
After he was adopted, his adoptive parents conceived and had a daughter they named Betsy. Imagine his surprise that one of his biological sisters was also named Betsy. Incidentally, both women married men named Rob, but I will not give the rest of the story away because you might enjoy reading the book.
The coincidence of the girls named Betsy touched me partially because we recently discovered my father had an older sister named Mary Ellen who died before he was five years old, and we had a sister who was born prematurely and only lived five days. My sister had been named Mary Ellen…. Now we wonder if my folks named our baby sister after my dad’s own sister who had died.
While in a deep coma for six days, Eben Alexander says he went to heaven where he learned profound truths that changed his life. I will let you be the judge of how much they change life, but here are a few of those “truths” that resonated with me:
“You are loved and cherished, dearly, forever.”
“You have nothing to fear.”
“There is nothing you can do wrong.” (p. 41)
Ultimately, none of us are orphans. We are all in the position I was, in that we have other family: beings who are watching and looking out for us—beings we have momentarily forgotten but who, if we open ourselves to their presence, are waiting to help us navigate our time here on earth. None of us are ever unloved. Each and every one of us is deeply known and cared for by a Creator who cherishes us beyond any ability we have to comprehend.(p. 96)
I may still be waiting to have those truths completely chase the ghosts of fear of abandonment from my thoughts and feelings as I find my place in the world as a writer. For sure I have already been drawing comfort from an increasing sense of angels as guides, and so for now I will take these words from the book into my heart and mind.
Meanwhile, it is my prayer that angels will be enough to have me wait patiently for my dear friend to navigate the deep emotional waters of life. Of course angels are helping with that, too…
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| Visions of Sharon, painting by my dear friend, Dahlis Roy. |
By Debra Basham, on February 10, 2013
The house is quiet and this morning I find myself gratefully curled up with a book. Physically confined to a love seat, my legs wind themselves beneath me willingly. After the bustle of some family visiting, today I love hearing only my own thoughts sprinkled into the gentle sounds of wind, the distant calls of birds, and the predictable motor of the fridge.
What is this longing for solitude? Perhaps we know instinctively we must slip away from the crowds and find that sacred space within your own heart.
In the afternoon, I have the luxury of a ride on my bicycle. I have no one to meet, no destination demanding my arrival. I am in no hurry. The pavement becomes my playground and I say a quick prayer as tiny lizards run for their lives.
Beneath my helmet, my thinking mind is watching for some of my favorites: hawk, eagle, and sunshine. Today I feel as though I have hit the Mother Nature Lode. I see two hawks—their tenuous privacy disturbed by my unanticipated arrival treats me to a thrill as I pause and become silent witness to their flight.
Standing there with my bike between my legs I remember a line I wrote to go with some nature photos: The innocence of your authenticity touches my soul. It is so true. Nature reminds us who we really are.
Thich Nhat Hanh said “Feelings, whether of compassion or irritation, should be welcomed, recognized, and treated on an absolutely equal basis; because both are ourselves. The tangerine I am eating is me. The mustard greens I am planting are me. I plant with all my heart and mind. I clean this teapot with the kind of attention I would have were I giving the baby Buddha or Jesus a bath. Nothing should be treated more carefully than anything else. In mindfulness, compassion, irritation, mustard green plant, and teapot are all sacred.”
Oh, were it true that I welcome all with mindfulness! Far too often I am to be found dancing the jig with all the logical reasons this is inferior or superior to that. At those times, I may be looking with my eyes and listening with my ears but my heart must be on vacation.
But here, now, I stop my ride and welcome a loss of self-centeredness that occurs easily looking up into this tree and seeing this eagle.
Eagle posing against that blue sky—seeing nature in it’s innocence—my thinking mind slows down enough for me to feel my own. I mean really feel it….
What happened to the ghostly (and ghastly) ruminations of “she said this” and “he did that” which had been robbing me of peace of mind just this morning? Where did the worry of daily life go? Has all I needed to do been suddenly done?
I could feel my own heart beating in my chest. I noticed the sun warming my skin. I gave thanks for the gentle breeze helping to keep me cool.
Something happens when you are fully present to your own life. You are bathing the baby Jesus. You are serving the Buddha tea.
Present to your own life, you are the sky, the tree—and for this moment in time—truly free.
By Debra Basham, on January 30, 2013
As I was riding my bike around Saint James City, here on Pine Island, in South Florida, the sky was so blue it almost hurt my eyes. I started thinking about the idea that what we see is not “real” but there is a reason why things appear the way they do.
For example, the reason the sky looks so blue is because as light move through the atmosphere, very little of the red, orange, and yellow light (longer wavelengths) is affected by it. Much more of the light with shorter wavelengths is absorbed by the gas molecules. Thus, blue light fills the sky, and some of it reaches my eyes, and the sky looks blue.
As I was riding and having these profound scientific ponderings, I began to hear a little jingle in my head. “If the sky is not blue, then who am I, and what are you?” I went automatically to a book I have written that is not yet been published.
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| This drawing is by Meredith Bede Aldrich. |
Where Moon Go?
A look at
life and death
and other natural things
through a child’s eyes…
Did you ever wonder where someone
goes when he or she dies?
I did.
When my Daddy died, I wanted to know where he was and if
he was OK where he was.
I wanted to know what was REAL….
At first I did not know what it meant when I would hear a voice talking to me from inside my head as the moon slid behind a cloud or a tree or a building.
I would hear.
“Where am I now?
It looks like I am gone,
but I am here….”
Even when what is real is very, very big
—like the moon—
false beliefs can be hard to change.
But where do people go when they die?
Adam said,
“It is like I am me and
I am inside this house.
(He pointed to his chest when he said this.)
When I die,
I leave the house
(He pointed to his chest again.)
but I am still me.”
But what is he?
And what am I?
And where do people go when they die?
Every living thing is made up of atoms.
(Not Adam!)
And energy cannot be created or destroyed.
If you’re asking where it all came from in the first place,
that’s a first class unanswered question.
Brad said when people die they live inside your heart.
It is like you can really talk to them inside your mind.
Go ahead. Ask a question.
And you will see that it is just like they really can answer you.
So, even though we might not know for sure where people go when they die, you can know for sure that part of them is right here where you are.
Because the moon has not gone anywhere.
It is still right where it was.
Even when we cannot see it.
The End
And
A New Beginning
By Debra Basham, on January 29, 2013
A long time ago (1930’s), in a land far, far away (radio), a crime-fighting vigilante with supernatural abilities entertained us so profoundly that “The Shadow” made its way from radio to comic books, television, movies, and video games. Many of us are familiar with Orson Welles voice booming “Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows!”
Since I was a kid I have been fascinated by the nature of shadow. First of all, there can be no shadow without light. In fact, shadow can be said to be the symptom or evidence oflight. For the very best shadows, you need a place that is r-e-a-l-l-y dark. My favorite as a kid was the closet underneath the stairs. It is pitch black in there, and even kids have to scrunch down to fit. The childhood game I played was to use a flashlight, and with just a wee bit of your imagination, you can see the likes of rabbits and ducks and various other creatures come to life.
As much fun as that shadow game was, shadow work as spiritual practice has not been something I have enjoyed. One might say at times I have been in downright resistance. I recognize the phenomenon known as “The dark night of the soul.” I understand the value of looking at the hidden places in our lives. I acknowledge that I have willingly been doing this, but I have not always loved the emotional journey.
It truly is paradise here on Pine Island in South Florida, but this is the second evening in a row that I find myself wanting to cry. I don’t know where the emotion is coming from or even what I would name it, were I inclined to try. The best I seem to be able to do is to honor that I am feeling it. OK, it might be hormones since the doctor told John I might experience menopause again. Gosh, and I was thinking I was done with that.
Perhaps that is part of the opportunity here. I can see these emotions as evidence of a younger me!
When you have faith that you are on the spiritual path,
then the immediate circumstances in life are less anxiety-producing,
and relationships can be built and also dismantled with less pain and trauma.
~ Angelic Messenger Cards, by Meredith L. Young-Sowers
When I did some asking about the emotions, the insight had to do with my spiritual path and service to the world and putting aside ego-mind. All of these are ideas I agree fully with but it would be great to have a sense of what specifically that means in my life right now. The emotions have a vague familiarity, like the homesickness I used to experience as a kid on overnights. All day long I would be fine, but when the sun went down I wanted to be home. I guess it is possible I am homesick since I am away from home. In fact, I have been away from home for almost a month and I am not due back in Michigan until April 1.
I wonder, though, if this is more shadow work. I am thinking it might be related to having time on my hands. When I feel sad, it would be great to have a sense of what the thoughts or beliefs are that had been fueling the emotions. Oh, for some people it is easy to read or watch TV or spend time on the internet as a distraction. It is not quite as easy to sit in stillness and let the answers find you.
I have sometimes been accused of being too serious. I have been known to agree with that assessment, but even that is just more condemnation of the accusation. What shines the light of day on this darkness of my thought life? Here is a writing from Sunday January 26, 1998:
Greetings:
The time of knowing is here. You no longer have to wait. By the knowing you come to the work you were born to be. Do not confuse these. You can not any longer be content to “do” the work – you must now “be” the work; my word to you is rest. This is not a call to unproductive lives. This is an invitation to peace, my perfect peace, while you are engaged in all that I call you to. Do not run out ahead of me. This is what causes you to despair. Do not delay in going when I have asked you to go. Listen to me. Incline your ear only to my voice. Listen no longer to the insane voices that would tell you you are a sinner or weak or lacking. Hear only the truth. You are whole as I am whole. You are free as I am free. You are capable as I am capable. You are because I AM. Tell all who know.
Who knew it could bring such joy, sitting in the dark… When you join the game of life worries are able to dance on the wall as creatures born with the soul/sole purpose of entertaining my busy mind. First make it larger, now smaller; give it an ear; turn the light off and make it all go away.
So here I am awake in the middle of the night. And in my mind’s ear I am singing, “I am so blessed, I am so blessed, I am so grateful for all that I have….” Thank you, Karen Drucker, for providing accompaniment to tonight’s performance of “Only The Shadow Knows.”
By Debra Basham, on January 23, 2013
“You are older at this moment than you’ve ever been before,
and it’s the youngest you’re ever going to get.
The mortality rate is holding at a scandalous 100 percent.”
This quotation from the article “You Are Going to Die” by Tim Kreider is the first deep thought that I have on the early morning of my 63rd birthday. This deep thought sits in my mind like a wedge of fresh lemon sits on the tongue. It is still early enough to be dark as I am considering my own mortality in the screen room alongside the canal here in St. James City, Florida on this beloved Pine Island. At this moment I am hypersensitive to the sounds trickling in from outside: a few early birds, the splash of mullets jumping, some distant vehicles, and a faint Grandfather’s clock chiming the hour. There’s something both refreshing and painful about the truth of my mortality and I now hear Seals and Crofts singing in my head: “we may never pass this way again….”
Is 63 years too young to think of death? What about 70? I don’t remember at what age my father began to say, “This may be my last Christmas…” but when my mother-in-law now says, “When I’m gone” my husband usually responds by asking her where she’s going.
The truth is we’re all going, and we don’t consciously know when, where, and how. Born-again Christians focus on the where, preparing for the hereafter by accepting Jesus so they can be sure they are going to go to Heaven not Hell.
Whatever your beliefs, there is an inevitability to the movement of time. Many of the common metaphors around time are similar to the metaphors we often use for money. We talk about spending time and that it is important how we invest it. Perhaps at a deep level we do recognize that the moments of our lives are invaluable.
Angeles Arrien, cross cultural anthropologist and author of The Four Fold Way, asks us to ponder what we want to do with this one wild, precious, thing called LIFE.
Eight weeks ago yesterday I went into surgery not knowing for sure how things would play now. Although I continue on my healing journey, which has included overcoming some of the postsurgical complications, the prognosis for my living a long and happy life is good. We are all very thankful for that….
Betty Lue Lieber wrote in her Loving Reminders, “When we validate other’s illnesses, we increase our own likelihood of the same. We are all living out the thoughts and beliefs of those with whom we associate and agree with. Your experience was not yours personally.”
If she is right and it is true that we are all living out the thoughts and beliefs of those with whom we associate and agree with, inside, what am I thinking and believing and how do I feel? Young? Old? Middle-aged? This morning, sitting here, witnessing dawn revealing the canal to my still-somewhat-drowsy eyes, the truth is I feel as though I am ageless. This morning, drunk with the elixir of another tropical dawn, the idea that I am older at this moment than I’ve ever been before, and the youngest I’m ever going to get has my heart soaring with glee.
I’ve spent the last four days keeping up with 14-year-old granddaughter, Courtney. We have been hiking, biking, kayaking, drumming, driving, and drinking and eating all over these islands. We’ve enjoyed close encounters with nature including Eagle, Manatee, and this Dolphin checking Courtney out in the photo below. We have been making memories. 
I remember when my own mother was aging, hearing her express regret and remorse that she had wasted her life. I think now about her legacy, of which I am an intimate part. I think about my own beloved daughter, Courtney’s mom, Stacey. And I think about the possibility of yet-unborn-great-grandchildren in the future.
But more importantly than what has been or what might yet come to be, at this moment I treasure that my heart is beating in my chest. I am humbled to have eyes to see the darkness, the dimness of dawn, the brilliance of the noon-day sun, and the shadow of eventide. I’m grateful that at most moments, on most days I seem to be in my right mind. I am grateful to choose to be alive!
And today this poem represents my birthday wishes to me:
What a day this is; my empty slate
on which each thought creates my experience
If I hold hatred, I experience that
As I embrace love, I witness the same
Breathe
Release
Remember
Revere
There is much more sweetness than cake
There is much more sour than lemon
There is much more death than body
There is much more life than physical
Today you can hoist your sail and face the wind
The breeze can be trusted to blow
This message from my beloved sister, Janis:
Happy birthday, my gosh….. You were such a darling baby and little girl who has grown into an amazing and beautiful woman. So blessed to have known you your entire life. Have a fabulous day. I love you!!!!
This message from my beloved sister, Johnnie Sue:
A moment I remember with Daddy for you is the day you and Dad were in the accident. When I walked into the bedroom where he was lying,I asked how he was. With tears in his eyes he said,”I am OK but ‘diba dab…’ and he could not go on. He loved you very much and so do I…
I will close with a quotation by Victor Hugo, “Thesupreme happiness of life is the conviction of being loved for yourself, or more correctly, being loved in spite of yourself.” This is a very comforting message for this anniversary day of my birth. How can it get any better than this?
By Debra Basham, on January 14, 2013
May I forgive myself for mistakes made and things left undone.
“Encountering Grief: A 10-Minute Guided Meditation”
with Zen Abbot, Joan Halifax
When I was on Pine Island last winter, I purchased a 1,000 piece jigsaw puzzle that featured the area. It had been produced by the Chamber of Commerce, and was sold in the featured businesses. Just a couple of days before I arrived, an arsonist set a fire that totally destroyed the offices of the Chamber, and the inventory of the puzzles. The ones that were already in stores were the only copies of the puzzle, so when I saw one for sale at a favorite shop (Earth and Spirit Garden Gallery), I purchased mine.
The puzzle when home with me unopened, and returned back to Pine Island with me still in the box. Given that I am still recovering from surgery in November, I decided having the puzzle to work on would be a good recovery tool. I was not prepared for the lessons that working toward completion on a 1,000 piece puzzle might present, but I am certainly thankful.
The title of this blog might have been, “All I Really Needed to Know I Learned Putting Together the Pine Island Puzzle.”
I learned that it is good to have a very big table if you are working on a puzzle that is 2 feet wide and 30 inches tall. When I first laid out all the pieces, the entire dining table was covered. Our meals were eaten at the breakfast bar in the kitchen or on TV trays in the screen room. In some ways, this reminded me of how much of my life was affected by my recent healing journey. The process leading up to the surgery, the surgery itself, the post-surgical complications, the recovery…. Any single aspect could have had a significant impact on my schedule, and with all the pieces spread out, it feels a bit like November and December 2012 did not exist for me. But, like the Pine Island puzzle, you can only take one step at a time.
Separate all the straight-edged pieces so you can assemble the border. Think about doing this process with 1,000 pieces. Some days this is what life feels like. It can be a bit overwhelming, even when you are clear that you can only do what you can do at any given moment.
After the border was assembled, I decided to work on the next layer inward. There was lots of detail in that, so it was easier to see what went where. Sometimes our choices are so obvious, they are sometimes called “a no-brainer.” I was surprised how obsessed I became working on the puzzle. It was as though it was my job to finish it, and I guess that is true since I was the only one working on it.
Once in a while I would get stumped and give John the “job” of helping me find a certain piece in the image on the box. After a few days of that, he went to the flea market and bought me a set of magnifying glasses….
I discovered that the daytime light was best, but it seemed such a waste of sunny weather to be in the house putting together a puzzle. We do sometimes find ourselves stuck somewhere in our minds rather than enjoying the experiences of our lives. To remedy this, I would use some time in the morning when the light was good and John was still sleeping to sort for finer distinctions.
General colors would go together. Then within that color I would put the shorter and taller and fatter and thinner “H” shaped pieces in an area for each according to color and size. Once John was up and had coffee and breakfast, we would go for our bike ride. As the puzzle was coming together, my healing seemed to be doing the same. I am thrilled at how much stronger I am in just one week!
After the outer and inner borders were in place, I would put focused attention on an area where several pieces came together. Most of the task was visual, but it demanded paying attention to details. I have noticed that amplified awareness about what I eat or what I think or how I sit or breathe. It is really a gift to allow everything in life to be welcomed as spiritual practice.
For example, I notice how I think about trash I see around the island. Rather than be critical about who was careless or even malicious, I notice what a sense of honor I have at cleaning it up (even though I know I was not the one who left the mess). Regardless of the specific situation, and even if we are talking about emotional messes, this can be done without a sense of obligation (been shouldin’ on myself for too long).You can bring beauty where you are. You can contribute to the world. You can leave things better than you found them.
As I worked on the Pine Island puzzle, teachings I have heard seeped into my bones. I was putting the pieces of my own heart and mind and body together! The puzzle became for me a living metaphor, and I allowed images of my jigsaw belly to come together along with the images of the jigsaw puzzle.
As the last pieces were coming together, I was sharing via text with my sister, Janis. We were taking about the way our lives really are getting easier. For us, the joy of the natural world is a big part of the healing. Her cat is Dusana. I have wonderful cats in my life in Michigan, too, and here on the island I visit two cats. I visit Sonny at the auto shop, and Hector at the ice cream parlor. I go see these cats just because I love petting kitties and these two kitties love the attention. Sonny forgets to swallow and slobbers! Hector is very at home with himself and sleeps soundly even with crowds of customers around him. It is very sweet and loving them just feels purrfect, if you know what I mean….
When I had only twelve pieces left (who is counting?) to completion, John came in to help. I could have been resentful thinking about how overwhelming it was when there were 1,000 pieces to sort, but I was aware of him choosing to share the joy with me. It turned into a bit of a coaching session, with my sharing aloud how I use the visual strategy to spot the piece to go into the section I am working on. “It will be taller, or shorter, fatter or thinner….” I felt myself slide into the ease you experience when you know you do not have to do it all yourself. I enjoyed having him enjoy being able to see what would go where. It was a surprise and a pleasure, and rather Zen.
He gave me the privilege of putting in the last piece, which was quite special as it was a piece that had been searched for over and over and over, seemingly without success. The missing piece was right in the middle, right at the top, of the puzzle. This was a very obvious piece, one that was within the “inner” border. When I was down to only seven pieces, I counted the open section to see if there was one for up there. You never know for sure if a piece is missing.
The mystery of the last piece of the puzzle is still with my heart and soul this evening. My own inner journey of healing is not complete just because the Pine Island puzzle is finished.
Completion is a state of constant process. You are always complete and yet always evolving. As Abraham-Hicks has said, “You can’t get it wrong, because you can’t get it done.” I am very thankful for this truth. It lets you go to bed at night and sleep and dream well. Life will have another puzzle for us to live tomorrow. Life is not a puzzle where there is a last piece to be put in place. Life’s puzzle is itself a living matrix.
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