By Debra Basham, on December 11, 2012
From The Book of Awakening, by Mark Nepo (December 3)
It reminds me of a dream I had when ill, in which I came to the edge of a forest where the narrow, lighted spaces called to me. I stood there through many opportunities until an ageless woman of great resolve appeared, saying, “You can’t start, I know, and if I were kind, I see you halfway in, but I am more than kind. You must enter alone. I will meet you on the other side.”
Now that I am somewhat on the other side of the recent healing crisis that resulted in my surgery on November 26, and the complications that followed, and am now full-time on the roller-coaster ride of recovery, those bright spots of divine connections are fading fast.
I wonder how significant it really is that I am using breathingwell.com.au, a program for functional breathing by Roger Price—”Price” being my mother’s maiden name. I question how relevant it is that BX Protocol (heal even late stage cancer at the cellular level) has been and is being researched by Dr. Duane Smith—”Smith” being my maiden name.
It is as though the many, many, many precious moments of “Synchro destiny” are now tumbled in my loss of routine, lack of energy, and the new normal of focus on medicine and discomfort and healing within and without. For now, I am seeing dim images—and in moments of the greatest emotions of weakness, pain, and discouragement—I have briefly even wondered how real they are.
However, I am thankful I had witnesses along the road. I remember going to my post-surgical check up and at the exact moment I was showing Nancy the photo of one of the angels who took care of me, we were hearing a nurse come into the waiting room to announce the name of a patient with the same name: Elizabeth. We looked at each other in the way those of us do when we know we are seeing the fabric of the universe unfolding around us. Just knowing that helps me keep the faith. Oh, by the way, nurse Elizabeth goes by, Lizzie.
A part of my intestines had trouble waking up. The parts that were awake have been vigorously jumping up-and-down trying to move things through. The result has been wildly chaotic and truly painful. I am wondering now if this is what our planet might be going through right now.
It occurs to me that those who are awake might have been causing as much turbulence for the one we are, as those who were yet asleep.
Today, I find myself wishing I could just take a nap, wake up, and find myself home in this body and on the planet. It would be a great day to bake cookies, or wrap presents, or meet a friend for lunch.
Today I hold my dear friend, Carol, in thoughts and prayers. If you will, join me in prayers and thoughts for Carol and her young daughter Lizzie. Lizzie, born in 1985… Lizzie, married just a couple of months ago…
Lizzie, who has experienced liver failure thought to be the result of active alcoholism. Lizzie, who has now experienced kidney failure due to the liver failure. Carol writes that the family is experiencing much healing as they gather around their beloved Lizzie. They are exploring Palliative care options now.
Today I focus on beads 4, 5, and 6 from the Daily Recollection prayer by Barbara Brodsky. I focus my consciousness for Lizzie and for me and for all sentient beings as I use my prayer beads:
Buddha is also the awakened nature inherent in all things. Awakened nature is within me; my mind is the true Buddha. This Buddha mind is inherently free and already liberated. To know this awakened nature and live the awakened life is the balance to which I aspire. Awakened nature is present everywhere. Resting there, all karma is released, yet my mind and body are still accountable.
There is something quite terrifying when the vehicle we are currently traveling in seems to not be working. In this world, having normal bowel and bladder processes seems like such a miraculous gift. I am suddenly reminded of the words sent to Carol by Pete Wehle, “Today is! Don’t worry about tomorrow because tomorrow never is! Today is!”
I hold the intention of the liquids I drink being able to go in and come out with ease. I ask my intestines to work in harmony to draw out the nutrients from the free-range eggs I scrambled and ate, and to excrete the toxins easily through my stools. Today, my goal is simple: to be able to have the energy to get in and out of the shower and put my clothes and to remember love is eternal. I light a candle for Carol and her beloved Lizzie and all else falls away….
By Debra Basham, on December 8, 2012
Quite possibly the greatest change in this whole process will occur within ourselves.
We don’t think much of ourselves, or in the other extreme, sometimes way too much!
In any case, most people are terrible to themselves!
They beat themselves up for their mistakes and crucify themselves for their “failures and shortcomings.”
I have had clients who were still beating themselves up for things that had happened forty and fifty years ago!
Ross Bishop (December 7, 2102)
I had a complete hysterectomy that was needed because of a very large benign tumor on my left ovary. The surgery was November 26, and following a couple of complications, I came home on Sunday, December 2. Thursday, December 6, 2012 was my first day being able to take care of myself at home all day
I decided I would enjoy a ginger chew, and I got one out of the box in the cupboard, and then proceeded to drop it onto the floor. It is amazing how many things I have dropped since I got home. I would never have thought about that, before not being able to bend over and pick whatever it was up.
Wanting to prove that I could take care of myself, I artfully managed to use my right foot to get that chew up on top of my left foot.
After three tries, I was successful lifting my left foot straight up, while still keeping the ginger chew balanced on the top of my foot, until I nabbed it with my right hand!
Feeling full of pride, I victoriously proceeded to try to unwrap that ginger chew. However, the real lesson soon came into awareness.
That chew was soft and gooey, and the paper would not come off, so I had to throw it away!
I have eaten a lot of those ginger chews over the past several years, and I have never had that happen before…
As I disgustedly opened the pantry to get another ginger chew, I silently understood the truth that I am at choice. Life can be seen as a game that is to be won or lost. I can work very hard to win or at the very least to not lose—trying and trying to prove something to myself or to someone else—or I can be gentle with myself, knowing that things do not all have to be resolved immediately.
I will never know for sure, but I am curious if I had left that first ginger chew on the floor until John got home from work, would it have unwrapped for him as easily as the one I had just eaten?
Last evening I was very uncomfortable physically and feeling quite vulnerable emotionally. With my feet in the lap of my husband, I tried without success to get into a posture to relax. Tears began to flow along with thoughts about things I have lost.
It was more than just about the hollow place in my abdomen where my body parts used to be. It was about having been given gas when I was delivering my daughter and missing the wonder of her birth. It was about also having been given a shot to dry up my milk, and missing the miracle of having a baby at my breast. It was about the days I have wasted feeling sorry for myself about this or that and having missed the blessing in what is happening at this very moment.
I just let myself feel the feelings and decided to turn on some music to help with the release. I set “Gentle With Myself” (track nine from Heart of Healing by Karen Drucker), to loop and I just let it sing me to sleep.
I have had a powerful sense this healing is about my own wounded divine inner feminine being freed by forgiving the human masculine. It is my sincere prayer that each of us has taken that lesson to heart, so we can all live the beautiful serenity that it is never too late to have a happy childhood and there is always time to live happily ever after. Thank you, Karen, for these healing lyrics….
I will be gentle with myself.
I will be gentle with myself.
And I will hold myself like a newborn baby child.
I will be tender with my heart.
I will be tender with my heart.
And I will hold my heart like a newborn baby child.
And I will only go as fast as the slowest part of me feels safe to go.
I will only go as fast as the slowest part of me feels safe to go.
I will be easy on myself.
I will be easy on myself.
And I’ll love myself like a newborn baby child.
And I will only go as fast as the slowest part of me feels safe to go.
Now, I know…
I am gentle with myself.
I am gentle with myself.
And I hold myself like a newborn baby child.
And I rock myself like a newborn baby child.
I hold myself like a newborn baby child.
I love myself like a newborn baby child.
Gentle with Myself, by Karen Drucker
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| Not yet comfortable sitting at the keyboard, this works just fine! |
By Debra Basham, on November 22, 2012
All those statistics that you are gathering about your own experiences
and about others are only about how somebody has flowed Energy.
It isn’t about any hard fast reality.
Abraham-Hicks
(Excerpted from the workshop in Detroit, MI on Saturday, July 8th, 2000)
Yesterday’s “messages from the universe” arrived in multiples, as though the only thing the divine has to do is to support and guide me. I agree with you that this is not about a personal “I”, however, as life is there for each of us all the way every day. Some days it is easier for you to see that, though, and yesterday was another one of those days for me.
Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow,
for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.
Matthew 6:34
I admit that these messages are more significant to me personally right now, as I will be having a hysterectomy on Monday morning to aid the healing that is already happening by removing a significant cystic tumor from my left ovary. In the past couple of weeks I have had more tests than in the previous twenty years, and there are more to come.
Yesterday, though, my thoughts were less on me than on the way we are all interconnected. Last week I learned about Roger Price and the Breathing Well process, and in less than 24 hours, I had shared it with a friend who was hospitalized for treatment for cellulitis and having an extremely rough time of white-coat syndrome. Proper breathing got her blood pressure down and got her home!
Check out the introductory video and see Debra’s Monday, November 26, 2012 Tip for Well-being at http://scs-matters.com.
Perhaps the whole point of our finding gifts along the way is being able to share them with others. I would like you to take a few minutes to meet a remarkable young woman: Elizabeth Ossowska. You will immediately see that Ela, as her grandmother calls her, is a lovely, sweet, ten-year-old. Not so obvious just looking at her is that she is undergoing treatment for cancer. With all that treatment involves, what does Ela dread most? Being poked by needles—“because they hurt”!
The woman who was interviewed with Ela said that needles are often the worst fear for kids with cancer. I was reminded of the young man who was going to have both of his rib cages removed, flipped over, reversed, and reinstalled, and he was afraid of the shots! You can read about James in Success Stories on the Imagine Healing website, and (p. 44-45) in FallingTogether in Love, Stories from My Heart For and About YOU
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| Ela holding her baby brother during the TV interview. |
Join me in healing intention for Ela. Hold her in your loving thoughts and prayers. May her Christmas wish come true—to be finished with treatments. Meanwhile, hold energy also for Ela’s grandmother who is going to let the news interviewer and those at the Stollery Hospital (Canada) know that children (or anyone, for that matter) can clear the fears!
Fears can be released quickly and easily using the Fast Phobia Cure, developed by Richard Bandler, co-founder of Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP). If you are new to NLP, here is a video of Joel Bowman (co-developer of Subtle Communication Systems) helping Liz get over the fear of public speaking.
What unexpected gifts we experience in it all when we realize what we are learning is not for us alone, but is to be shared as blessing for the world. Now that is truly something worth giving thanks for.
By Debra Basham, on November 19, 2012
Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
~ Buddha
This evening I was in the middle of my muddle when I received an email message from another human being navigating the “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune” called health care. “I am in the midst of so much conflicting information (all of which seems to have good scientific basis) that I have temporarily decided to just choose one system and stick with it alone until I see how I am doing after a reasonable trial.”
She went on to say, “I am just curious—how do you handle things when there is too much conflicting info, most of which makes sense on its own?” As is often the way it happens, clarity and peace comes when you open your heart on behalf of another.
You are very right about each of us needing to find what fits for us. So often we’re looking for something external, rather than understanding well-being as an internal state that is ever-present, untouched by the current conditions.
The itching of a broken bone is evidence of the healing that is happening. At times of healing crises, physical or emotional or mental or spiritual, that confusion is really an indication of change. When you can welcome that as a litmus test, you can soften around it and you will discover “it”—whatever “it” is, changes.
At this time we are all experiencing confusion and overwhelm and overload, each with our unique circumstances. The beauty is that life is designed to help us.
Just today, two friends and I were together, and we were scheduled to be at another friend’s home at 1 o’clock. It became obvious we were going to be about 15 minutes late, so we looked for the phone number of the woman where we needed to be. Although all three of us thought we had it, none of us did.
Linda drove her car planning to make couple stops and meet us there. Nancy and I left 815 Main Street, and went to Tosi’s for a bowl of soup. When we walked in, there sat Kate’s husband! He was able to give her a call, and let her know we would be arriving about 15 minutes late!
We could not have orchestrated that!
But LIFE was able to.
We are in the process of coming to believe what is real— not about breathing, not about techniques, but about life itself. And right now, each one of us is being presented with the perfect circumstances to let us learn that lesson.
You’re in my prayers, and I trust that I am also in yours.
Six months from now, we will be in a very different place around all of this. It’s growing pains, that’s all.
What gift it is to be able to see for another when he or she cannot see. What an honor to share the presence of mind in the face of confusion and overwhelm. What a miracle to bring ourselves to whatever is before us and know the truth, “I am enough.”
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| Debra with friend, Ron. |
Everybody can be great… because anybody can serve.
You don’t have to have a college degree to serve.
You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve.
You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.
~ Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
By Debra Basham, on November 4, 2012
I have been very surprised to find myself in a bead shop two times in the past week making strings of beads. I have not been into beads, and have never made jewelry. In fact, most of the time I do not wear necklaces, either, but these beads are not just fashion. The reason these strands of beads are so meaningful to me extends beyond the beauty. These beads are a tactile tool that corresponds to a Daily Recollection I learned at the meditation retreat last month. These beads are similar to the Catholic Rosary.
It was a wonderful coincidence (you may have heard the saying that coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous) to find that I knew the manager at the bead shop. Miranda Skibbe, of M’s Jemz Bead Shoppe, had previously been personal assistant for a man I did Healing Touch™ with over several years. We already had a very heart-felt connection, so having her help me with the selection and production was pure gift. The first day we made this lovely, light, blue strand, using Czech glass beads. Glass making in the Czech Republic is an age old cottage industry, and the glass beads are still made in small quantities by hand.
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| Miranda with the Czech glass Daily Recollection Beads. |
When I selected the beads, I was making the choices for “feel” as much as for “looks”. It was my intention to be able to close my eyes and to know where I am and what I am recollectingat each point. I imagined coming to know the words and being able to recite the intentions to myself, much in the same easy way a child learns the alphabet by singing, “Now I know my A-B-Cs, next time won’t you sing with me.”
I loved the look and feel of the beads, but I soon discovered I had just one bead out of place, and since that threw off the whole prayer, I knew I would go back into the shop to have Miranda help me restring it correctly.
While Miranda was restringing the blue beads to correct the mistake I had in the pattern, I began to browse. Before I knew what was what, I began to pick out beads for another strand. This strand was not made of glass…. It was made of semi-precious stones, and it was shades of green. Miranda finished the restringing and she enthusiastically joined me in finding just the right combination.
There are 108 daily recollections, along with section beads, and intention beads, and marker beads. I think we both had our eye on the prices as these were significantly more money than the glass beads, but it was vital that the beads not only looked right, I wanted to be able to feel where I was. Marker beads needed to feel distinctive from intention beads, and the daily recollection beads needed to be unique from the section beads. We finally determined the round beads would best serve for the 108 daily recollection beads. There were four strings of that type of bead, but how many single beads were on each, and were there enough? Most strings had 25….
Miranda and I each began to count. She counted the first string and announced, “Twenty seven.” I counted the second string and said, “Twenty seven.” She grabbed a calculator, hit some buttons, and whispered, “Four times 27 is 108.” We each picked up a strand and counted. “Twenty seven,” we said together. I took that as a sign, and we designed the strand using the round beads as the 108 daily recollections.
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| All endings being new beginnings, you are looking at the “center” bead, which is also the end |
This version of the prayer was written by Barbara Brodsky. She and a student of hers designed the first necklace. Here is one of my favorite sections you may also enjoy:
Marker bead: I remember the ten perfections and will practice them well
43rd bead: Generosity
44th bead: Morality
45th bead: Energy
46th bead: Wisdom
47th bead: Renunciation
48th bead: Lovingkindness
49th bead: Truthfulness
50th bead: Resolution (clarity)
51st bead: Equanimity
52nd bead: Patience
Intention bead: In this way will I train myself
I am reminded that mistakes can lead to surprising gifts. I am reminded that what we need is already provided. I am reminded that teamwork yields magical results. I am reminded that there is a divine thread holding everything together.
This morning as I wear my beads and head out to share “When Nothing More Can be Done” as guest speaker at the church down the street, I will add these to my daily recollection. I am so thankful for all of this.
By Debra Basham, on October 30, 2012
“Illness and the opportunity it presents people to engage consciously and actively in a journey toward wholeness can be one of the most transformative experiences that life offers. It provides you with space for self-reflection, for caring for yourself and your needs in a way that may not have been possible in your busy everyday life. It can give you time for learning about who you are, your purpose, your potential; a time for reassessing your priorities and the value of your relationships, work, and possessions. Illness (or disease) can be the beginning of a deep, spiritual quest.” Rituals of Healing :Using Guided Imagery for Health and Wellness, by Jeanne Achterberg, Ph.D., Barbara Dossey, M.S., FAAN, and Leslie Kolmeier, R.N., MEd., (p. 12).
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| New York City in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy. |
As Hurricane Sandy slams into the U.S., the system brought winds high enough to knock out my power here in Michigan. It is difficult to read about and watch the reports of damage. And it comes at a time that is already tender for me as I prepare to be guest speaker at Berrien Unitarian Universalist Fellowship Sunday morning at 10:30.
The title of the message is, “When Nothing More Can Be Done.” The message is based around the inner journey that happens to a person when the medical community gives up on him or her. In 1999 when Jane’s surgeon saw 22 malignant tumors on her liver, he closed her back up and told her he could not keep cutting on her. Saying her head was in a bad place, he suggested she find a “holistic healer”.
I have never met that surgeon, but I am grateful to him for giving Jane a nudge toward changes that were much more than skin-deep. In Love & Survival: 8 Pathways to Intimacy and Healing, Dr. Dean Ornish reminds readers that even when drugs and surgery are necessary, they are just the beginning. The physical body – the heart, is more than just a mechanical pump. Ornish says you also have an emotional heart, a psychological heart, and a spiritual heart.
“Curing is when the physical disease gets measurably better. Healing is a process of becoming whole. Even the words heal and whole and holy come from the same root. Returning healing to medicine is like returning justice to law.”(p. 15)
You can read my story, but the abbreviated version is my having been in chronic pain, on lots of prescription pain medication, diagnosed with a degenerative disease, and told that I would never have quality of life. Quite often I have been heard saying it is fortunate that you do not have to take bad medical advice, even if you paid good money to get it.
When Jane called me that first day, I told her the truth: Healing is the most natural of processes. I told her we can all remember a time when you cut a finger or skinned a knee. Something inside you allowed healing to occur. That something inside you is your innate healing capacity.
The greatest goal for everyone who works as a facilitator of healing, is to support the individual discovering the attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors which turn on this innate healing capacity to its maximum.
The Tibetan Book of the Dead is actually more of a manual for the living. It does address the questions around what might happen to us after death. As Annie Shapiro writes, “Once you realize that life and death are not separate, then death becomes just a continuation of the journey.”
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| San Francisco’s Laguna Honda Hospital, a model of care from the Middle Ages. |
While mere focus on cure—rather than on healing—might see all death as failure, when you come to look at life as the process of living, as more than flesh and bones, you gain a greater sense of the sacred art of healing. You might enjoy reading this review of Victoria Sweet’s book, God’s Hotel: A Doctor, A Hospital, and a Pilgrimage To The Heart of Medicine: “Because caring was what created the personal relationship between patient and doctor. And that relationship was the secret of healing.” (p. 82)
I am so blessed to have Jane Foster accompany me on Sunday morning, and I am sure folks there will want to hear her share some of her personal account. If you are not able to be there in person, you can meet Jane in a short video interview I did when Jane and I met for lunch in May 2011.
The things that promote a genuine sense of meaning in our lives, our connection to others and to what is sacred, can heal our lives even when medicine is not able to cure  our bodies.
By Debra Basham, on October 24, 2012
This past weekend I was fortunate to attend a fall meditation retreat at the Howell Nature Center. To allow us to enjoy being in a more timeless place than is practical in our everyday lives, bells are rung for “wake-up” and at mealtimes, and five minutes before group gatherings. Since I am an early-morning riser, and not everyone is, I signed up for ringing the wake-up bell at 5:55 a.m. on both Saturday and Sunday.
I got dressed, and after walking slowly throughout the lodge softly ringing the bell, I had time for a walk out in pre-dawn quiet. The first morning, moments after stepping out-of-doors, I was thrilled to hear owl! I could tell it was not far from where I was, and I stood very still for a few moments just listening. This was especially tender as I have so recently enjoyed reading the story of Wesley the Owl. (see the previous blog post)
This retreat was my second with the Deep Spring Meditation Center group, and this time change happened. We had an opportunity to meet with the instructors, and to ask questions about our meditation practice. People asked about seeing colors or having body sensations (such as tingling along the spine), or perhaps hearing music or sensing a presence.
I asked for help with a frustrating habit of mind (counting) during my walking meditation. I was given a very simple suggestion to use a rotating focus during my meditation. Begin paying attention to what you are hearing, and make a mental note of “hearing.” Then shift your attention to your posture—sitting or standing or walking, and make a mental note of “sitting.” The next focus would be on “touching.” I noticed my hands on my lap or my feet on the ground, or the hair against my forehead. Next, the focus would be on the breath, with the mental note of “breathing.”
This allows you to observe not only what has your primary focus, but it also allows you to become aware of the predominantfocus. As I had noticed when I was doing walking meditation, my predominant focus was on that inner voice which kept counting. The teaching of this particular form of meditation (Vipassana or Insight or Mindfulness) is to allow what is in your awareness, not to try to resist it, but to just lovingly acknowledge it. This reminds me of a young child who was insistent on getting your attention. Ignoring him or her only generates more insistence!
The suggestion I was given was to simply notice the counting and say to myself, “Breathing in I am aware of counting. Breathing out I smile to counting.” Now, mind you, I had been struggling with this habit of mind for years. One time doing this gentle act of awareness, the counting stopped. What a welcome change….
 Oh, the owl that I so enjoyed hearing was one of several who are part of the Wild Wonders Wildlife Park at the nature center. The Howell Conference & Nature Center has been caring for wild birds and mammals since 1982.
You can use this process with emotions like fear, anger, frustration, or with behaviors like judging, criticizing, worrying. You can do it with basic mind habits like thinking, remembering, planning The next time you become aware of an unhelpful habit of mind or body, prove to yourself it works. “Breathing in I am aware of_____. Breathing out I smile to_____.”
The welcome change is something worth being grateful for.
By Debra Basham, on October 14, 2012
Finally, more out of desperation than cleverness on my part, I began to work with Wesley using language and imagery.
Wesley the Owl, by Stacey O’Brien (p.198)
Reading these words this morning just about took my breath away. Those who know me well, recognize language and imagery as part of my soul work. Stacey, caregiver and companion to Wesley the barn owl, was faced with a serious challenge. When Wesley was about 15, his talons and his beak were becoming dangerous to her and to him. She needed to file them, but how was she going to get him to cooperate?
Stacey began to sit very still and send thoughts and pictures to Wesley about how she was going to be able to file his talons and his beak for him. Wesley was used to Stacey speaking aloud to him so she began to prepare him for the process. She decided to focus on his beak first, and over the next few weeks, she would file her own nails telling him what she was doing. She filed his perch. She would speak to him in a reassuring tone, telling him what she was going to do for him. All the while, Stacey was holding the image of peacefully filing his beak.
 This morning I was guest speaker at Pilgrim Congregational United Church of Christ, here in Saint Joseph, Michigan. The title of the message was “Persistent Faith: Whatever It Takes.” I shared the amazing story of Aron Lee Ralston, who survived a rock climbing accident in south-eastern Utah in 2003. After having been trapped for five days and seven hours, he was forced to amputate his own right arm with a dull Swiss Army knife. After freeing himself by cutting off his arm, he then climbed down a 65-foot sheer cliff face! The incident is documented in Ralston’s autobiography Between a Rock and a Hard Place, and is the subject of the film 127 Hours.
Research about emotions, beliefs, attitudes—about brain function—and immune response is proving to us that, in fact, being able to imagine is key! Because humans process their subjective experience, in part, as pictures, when someone says, “I just cannot see how I will get through all of this,” according to Dr. Emmett E. Miller, author of Deep Healing: The Essence of Mind/Body Medicine, we are not just hearing words, we may well be witnessing destiny. Miller’s work shows clearly how beliefs and images become actual physical events in the body.
I have been very affected by Aron Ralston’s courage and will.
One year ago today I was in Monaco. As I was touring the Exotic Gardens (about three acres of amazing succulents, overlooking the Bay of Monaco), I got separated from the woman I went to Europe to travel with. Amid some extremely stressful interpersonal dynamics, I actually thought she had left me, testing me to see if I could find my way. I did not speak the language, I did not have a cell phone, I did not know the name of the hotel we were staying in, and I had no Euros.
Then the moment arrived. I slowly approached his perch,
“It’s time to fix your beak, now, okay?”
Wesley closed his eyes, hunched down, braced his legs,
and stood perfectly still.
I was amazed…. I filed and filed….
Wesley did not move a muscle or make a sound.
He just kept his eyes shut and acted like
he was intently focused on not feeling anything.
When I was finished, I wiped his beak and said,
“Okay, Wesley! Good job! All done! What a smart bird! So brave!”
Wesley the Owl, by Stacey O’Brien (p. 200)
As I remember that day in Monaco, so far from anything familiar, I marvel that something within me allowed me to beg money, board the right bus, get off at the right stop, and find the hotel.
When I remember the emotions I went through that day, I realize the truth: We have each survived things that allow us to have at least a sense of what was going on in Ralston’s mind.
By grace, we each have within us the necessary stuff to do whatever it takes.
Amazingly, this must be true for owls, too!
By Debra Basham, on October 7, 2012
Eyes see only light,
ears hear only sound,
but a listening heart perceives meaning.
This quotation by Brother David Steindl-Rast is published in his book, A Listening Heart. You can see a review of the book by Sister Mary Margaret Funk on Monastic Interreligious Dialogue. (See Review.) Brother David is a Benedictine monk at Mount Saviour Monastery in upstate New York. He is a writer and founder of gratefulness.org. This quotation was the thought for today and it is significant, because listening is certainly important in relationships of all kinds.
I am very excited that New York Times bestselling author, Mark Nepo, has a new book, Seven Thousand Ways to Listen: Staying Close to What’s Sacred. He is the subject of a news article here in Southwest Michigan because he will be hosting several events around this book. You can read about the book, see the schedule of events, and enjoy a brief video interview. (See MI Live Interview. According to the article, Nepo points to great spiritual leaders of all faiths who receive information, reflect and then speak. In a telephone interview:
“Everybody is shouting over each other and very few people are really listening. In fact, silence is mistaken for uncertainty rather than true reflection.”
I would like to think of myself as a good listener. And I do think listening is about more than just hearing words and other sounds. Listening is a whole-body habit.
I have been thinking about listening a lot, especially as I am reading Wesley the Owl. I am very touched by Stacey O’Brien’s sharing of her experience of raising Wesley, a barn owl. When you are reading, beyond the enjoyment of being able to witness the adventure through another’s words, you are often transported into your own experience in ways that bring meaning. Perhaps that is what Brother David is writing about when he says your listening heart perceives meaning.
Although the following paragraph is about Stacey’s experience with Wesley, and about birds of prey, see if you can identify people in your life who have needs like this:
Since owls don’t flock, herd, or pack, they have no social setup for correcting each other’s behavior. Therefore, Wesley had no way to interpret any act of aggression except as a threat on his life. For this reason, the number one rule in interacting with birds of prey is that you can never show them any aggression. You cannot try to discipline or correct them as you would a child or a dog. They would not understand it. I could never raise my voice or do anything that might seem at all aggressive, even when trying to stop Wesley from doing something for his own protection. I could only gently remove him from whatever situation was putting him or me in danger. Eventually, he might learn that a certain behavior wasn’t allowed, but not in the usual way. It took longer and required much more patience than the normal pet owner or parent is accustomed to.
Wesley the Owl, by Stacey O’Brien (p.72)
Today, as I read this, and I look forward to an evening with Mark Nepo, it is my intention to listen in the way that will allow me to have the sort of patience with my world that Stacey had with Wesley.Even when I am listening to my own inner being…
By Debra Basham, on September 30, 2012
“There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.”
~ Edith Wharton
This amazing photo and quotation by Edith Wharton was in today’s weekly “Heart Quote” that I received from Byron Stock, a friend and colleague of mine. Reading about her on Wikipedia, I was amazed at all Edith Wharton accomplished in her life. She was born in 1862, and began writing as an adolescent, but apparently stopped writing in her late teens. After she was married, she began writing poetry and short stories. Her “nervous ailments” kept her from doing serious writing. After her health improved she began writing novels. I am curious what she had in mind when she wrote about being a candle or a mirror.
Although I resonate more with our capacities as multifaceted rather than either or, asking yourself this question about whether you are more likely to spread the light by “being” the light or by “reflecting” the light provides good self awareness of your usual emotional parking place. I guess we could also ask ourselves if we ever turn the light out or cover up the light, but that might be a future blog post.
Our emotional moods can be contagious, that is for sure. This is due to our mirror neurons—neurons that fire both when you do something and also when you see that same action being down by another. So that is why we can spread the light both by being the candle or by being the mirror that reflects it…
In Traditional Chinese Medicine, our emotions are recognized as being connected to specific meridians. Each is also observed to have ties to a specific element, organ (and sense organ), developmental stage, direction, fluid, tissue, climate, taste, color, season, and sound. If you are interested, you can find some pretty comprehensive information about all this by doing an internet search. I found a nifty chart on one website.
The reason I brought it up is because the sounds that are associated with emotions and meridians have been on my mind. I recall an exercise where you begin with the sound of “shouting” and you continue doing each sound for a couple of minutes before moving through all five, thus balancing your energy system.
The sequence of sounds is: shouting, laughing, singing, crying, and groaning.
I encourage you to give it a try and just see how much better you feel. After all, you have nothing to lose and you just might find this is good medicine! Now I am reminded of the words to a song: It is better to light just one little candle than to stumble in the dark…. If everyone said a prayer that the world would be free, what a beautiful dawn we would see… If everyone lit just one little candle, what a bight world this would be!
You can hear the song at this link: Light One Candle and you may want to sing along for your “singing” step to balance your energy.
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