By Debra Basham, on August 14, 2024 Most days of late I’ve been riding bike with Fred. I guess that could have been a good title for this post, but it is about so much more than biking or Fred. But, Fred did share something about a guy named Mammina he worked with who would say something like this: “You can only have a problem if there is a solution. If there is no solution there can’t be a problem. It’s just the way it is.”
They coined the term Mamminaism referring to this because it applied so often. I suggested we consider it a mantra as we navigate life with Linda now in spirit and us still here in form.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change… the opening of The Serenity Prayer. I have been encouraging Fred to consider how what he is doing in form is contributing to her in spirit even now. I heard myself tell him that she does not have an emotional body now so she is in a pretty good space to support us. And given that there is no solution, her being in spirit and us being in form can’t be a problem. It is just the way it is.
From the author page of Byron Katie: In the midst of a normal life, Katie became increasingly depressed, and over a ten-year period sank further into rage, despair, and thoughts of suicide. Then one morning, she woke up in a state of absolute joy, filled with the realization of how her own suffering had ended.
Katie says it so clearly, “I am a lover of what is, not because I’m a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. We can know that reality is good just as it is, because when we argue with it, we experience tension and frustration.”
I was experiencing a lot of tension and frustration today when I finally got to a real person at Microsoft about an email I received charging my account $450 dollars for Microsoft 365 Business. I have not yet found out if it is a legitimate charge and I guess it is true that in time, truth will reveal itself.
The literal thought about awareness about what happens after death is one has to wait until we die to know. Well, that does not seem the best use of human resources to me, does it to you? In time, truth will reveal itself.
I am grateful to have learned of the work by Dr. Allan L. Botkin, Psy.D., who discovered what has been termed Induced After Death Communication (IADC) in 1995. The protocol for IADC was derived from Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), an evidenced-based treatment for trauma. “When the grief-related sadness surrounding the loss diminishes, clients generally experience a state of calmness, openness, and receptivity. In this state, about two-thirds to three-fourths of clients report experiencing a deep sense of connection with the deceased loved one, which may be experienced through sensory means (sight, sound, smell, taste, etc.) or as a “sense of presence” of the loved one. This sense of connection is a well-researched phenomenon referred to in the scientific literature as after-death communication.” ~ IADC Therapy and The Center for Grief and Traumatic Loss
As Fred mines Linda’s worldly possessions — all of which were left behind — I have found my way back to decades of my journals. I find myself knowing I do not wish to leave everything to someone else when (NOT IF) I lay this body down. I had a near meltdown when I thought I was missing the years between 2012 and 2016 but I found one thin journal. This entry on September 26, 2012, was quite telling:
Yesterday morning I whacked my heal on the door to the pantry. It bled and my right eye pupil got huge! I started on energy work immediately and took both Arnica and Rescue Remedy. In about 60-90 minutes the pupil was mostly normal. I have a scab but otherwise I’m okay.
I blurted out, “WHO OPENED THAT DOOR?” There are only John and me here.
I realized my mom’s blurting out, “WHO PUT THAT THERE?” when something fell out of the freezer had been seen as evidence of her unwillingness to take responsibility for her actions and her tendency to blame others. I saw yesterday that blurt came from a non-rational place. There was no thought, just a reaction. It was very humbling.
Fred and I have talked a lot about The Drama Triangle Revisited from my days with Subtle Communication Systems (SCS). Fred is gaining insights, I am, too. Perhaps we are seeing the message one of Linda’s mugs that she had broken and he had put back together. He thought he had recalled there being a small triangular chip that he had needed to fix but we have both looked closely several times…. In time, truth will reveal itself.
We are now here, and the wound is nowhere to be seen.
It’s just the way it is.
By Debra Basham, on July 27, 2024 The Library of Congress is the largest library in the world, with millions of books, films and video, audio recordings, photographs, newspapers, maps and manuscripts in its collections. The Library is the main research arm of the U.S. Congress and the home of the U.S. Copyright Office. According to the Library of Congress, “In the 5th century B.C., Empedocles and Anaxagoras offered arguments for the spherical nature of the Earth. During a lunar eclipse, when the Earth is between the sun and the moon, they identified the shadow of the Earth on the moon. As the shadow moves across the moon it is clearly round.”
This information was not welcome.
While at the University of Padua Galileo learned of Nicolaus Copernicus’ theory (published in 1543) that the Earth and all the other planets revolved around the Sun. Soon Galileo’s observations with the newly invented telescope convinced him of the truth of Copernicus’ sun-centered, or heliocentric theory.
This information was not welcome either.
All new ideas are met with three distinct phases: First they are ridiculed. Next they are resisted. Then they are accepted as the norm.
Pondering all of this, I am reminded of the “As-if Frame” in NLP. From NLP World: “The intent of this frame is to make it easier for a person to explore possibilities and ideas internally, which would usually not be as available to them due to their limiting beliefs about themselves or others. The specific effect sought is to allow a person’s limiting beliefs to be temporarily set aside for the purpose of exploring alternate possibilities, without having to threaten or challenge their existing conceptual world-view in the process.”
Obviously there is huge benefit to suspending beliefs that are not generating wholesome outcomes — perhaps most especially our own beliefs! And, using the “As-if Frame” is an easy way to see for yourself where beliefs you are holding are holding you back.
Gary Zukav says the Universe is intimate. It is inside you, not outside.
In 1981, James W. Fowler published Stages of Faith. Here is an excerpt from a pdf I found on line:
Stage 1: This is the stage of preschool children in which fantasy and reality often get mixed together. However, during this stage, our most basic ideas about God are usually picked up from my parents and/or society.
Stage 2: When children become school-age, they start understanding the world in more logical ways. They generally accept the stories told them by their faith community but tend to understand them in very literal ways. [A few people remain in this stage through adulthood.]
Stage 3: Most people move into this stage as teenagers. At this point, their life has grown to include several different social circles and there is a need to pull it all together. When this happens, a person usually adopts some sort of all-encompassing belief system. However, at this stage, people tend to have a hard time seeing outside their box and don’t recognize that they are “inside” a believe system. At this stage, authority is usually placed in individuals or groups that represent one’s beliefs. [This is the stage in which many people remain.]
Stage 4: This is the tough stage, often begun in young adulthood, when people start seeing outside the box and realize that there are other “boxes”. They begin to critically examine their beliefs on their own and often become disillusioned with their former faith. Ironically, the Stage 3 people usually think that Stage 4 people have become “backsliders” when in reality they have actually moved forward.
Stage 5: It is rare for people to reach this stage before mid-life. This is the point when people begin to realize the limits of logic and start to except the paradoxes in life. They begin to see life as a mystery and often return to sacred stories and symbols but this time without being stuck in a theological box.
Stage 6: Few people reach the stage. Those who do live their lives to the full in service of others without any real worries or doubts.
We have come to see that many things thought about as “stages” are not linear in the way they were initially considered to be. A good example is the work around grief done by Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. You might want to look at Fowler’s stages of faith through an “As-if frame” allowing us to see even closely-held beliefs simply as having been developed.
Following a recent day of meditation on line with others around the world, I saw a green stick bug in our yard. It literally emerged from a plant and looked directly at me. It felt significant enough that I looked up the spiritual meaning, and read it’s amazing message.
Stick Bug symbolism is a reminder that life is full of illusions. Things that look like something but in reality are something entirely different. In other words, we have to see through what we perceive as fact to find the real truth hidden beneath it. Thus, it is now time to examine each of your beliefs one at a time so that you can discard anything that blinds you to reality. This process takes time. However, the Stick Bug meaning is a reminder that what you see is not necessarily what you get. This spirit animal insists that you open your eyes, ears, and mind today to discover a new truth.
Especially at this time in human history, there is a need for a willingness to recognize the limits of logic and to see life as a mystery.
By Debra Basham, on July 19, 2024 Yesterday I was having a bad hair day. I need to get my hair cut soon or decide to let it grow out. It is at that difficult in-between stage, much like our planet.
Suddenly, I had the idea to look at a photo of me taken with my two older sisters when I was just 16 months old. Both of them have adorable naturally curly hair. A picture is worth a thousand words: My hair was already unruly.
I began to laugh. It balanced all the times I have cried since my friend died two weeks ago today. Late last evening, nearing bedtime, I made John look at the photo with me and again I laughed. This time, I laughed so hard that I cried.
I thought about how I did not get our mom’s naturally curly hair, but I got her height and slender build. I got my dad’s stick-straight hair. My sisters got his shorter stature. We are each a unique form of the ONE, aren’t we….
With the memories still active, this morning I was led to a Yellow Brick Road blog posted on Word Press in 2011. Sharing that with you now:
We’re Going Home, Toto…
By Debra Basham, on December 18, 2011
It popped into my head that you can think about Wizard of Oz as an energy metaphor: you must follow the yellow brick road to get to the Emerald City. Ruby red slippers….
There’s no place like home….
The more you think about it, the more powerful it becomes. And it fits with my life experience. In fact, I did not know anything about the “chakras” or hypnosis when I first learned about Healing Touch, but that did not keep it from changing my life for the better. I had been diagnosed with osteoarthritis of the hip and degenerative disc disease, L4, L5, and S1, had been experiencing chronic pain for a long time, and was currently taking 1,000 mg. of Naprosin daily. Along with the diagnosis, I was given the very bad hypnotic command that I would never have quality of life. Fortunately for me, I did not have to accept someone’s bad advice, even if I had paid to get it, and neither do you.
I admit that when I first learned Healing Touch techniques I did not fully appreciate them as self-hypnosis. They are, however, wonderfully trance inducing, and, as such, are very healing. Notice how hypnotic the language is in the Self Full-body connection: Place your right hand over the space between your legs just below the pubic bone, at the root chakra, and your left hand slightly below the navel on the sacral chakra. Picture a vortex of energy spinning in a clockwise direction until they match, balance, or feel equal. Just following the directions serves as a wonderful pattern interrupt.
Add to that awareness, the metaphor of each of the chakras. The needs of the root chakra are survival, health, and a sense of safety. The sacral chakra is about relationships, trust, flexibility, and freedom of expression. Your solar plexus governs feelings of your recognizing you have a good connection with others, and your knowing you are able to be comfortable in your surroundings. There are said to be colors associated with each of the chakras as well. Let’s just look at three for now: solar plexus is yellow, root is red, and heart is green. When you learn to use energy work as self care, it is like finding the wizard within.
You can see how the yellow brick road can be thought of as a balanced and functioning solar plexus chakra. And where does the yellow brick lead? Dorothy and her friends are off to see the wizard – they are going to the Emerald City: an open heart center. And where was her magic? In those ruby red slippers! When you are able to be well grounded and centered, you are comfortable with and in your body, and you act with confidence in the material world.
Think about the characters Dorothy met and begin to recognize the meaning in what each seemed to need. The Scarecrow needed a brain. We have all seen someone who was ungrounded and ran around like a chicken with its head cut off. Scattered thinking, fight or flight behavior, and overwhelmed with daily routine. The Cowardly Lion needed some courage. This is related to personal power, self-esteem, and trusting one’s “gut instincts.” Tin Man, of course, like each of us, desires the ability to give and receive love, to experience the acceptance of self and others, to truly live what is called unconditional love.
When this band of wayward ones arrives at the Emerald City, the truth is seen, once and for all. There is no outer wizard who has the power to grant our wishes. The journey itself was what enabled each to discover the power within. It was within her all along. All Dorothy had to do was to click those ruby red slippers together…. meaning get herself grounded. Then she and Toto would be home.
I was very fortunate that Doris Glowacki took a Healing Touch Level 1 workshop. She brought me her training manual and said to me, “I don’t know why I took this, but it is you.” I did not know about chakras. I did not know about auras. I did not know any of that, but the chakra connection said it was for relief from chronic pain and I knew about that. I looked at the pictures and put my hands where they showed and within a few weeks I was off all of the pain medication and I was pain free. It made a believer out of me and at that moment I made a vow that I would dedicate the rest of my life to telling everyone I met that you can be free of pain, too – physical, emotional and mental, or spiritual.
Here is a link so you can download a free handout and find out for yourself what a difference it makes in your life: http://scs-matters.com/Download/self-full-body.pdf..
If you would like to add the audio, Self Full Body Connection is also available as a bonus track on the Freedom from Pain download (CD is also available).
A new version of the handout has language incorporating the Lord’s Prayer for those who wish to draw on the resources of the Christian religion http://scs-matters.com/Download/self-full-body-OF.pdf.
Now you can go home any time you like to…. you were always safe and sound…. it was all just a bad dream.
By Debra Basham, on July 17, 2024 Anālayo, a Buddhist monk, writes, “As long as the constant change inherent in life is not recognized, death is easily perceived as an abrupt end of all that has thus far been experienced as stable and lasting… it is not possible to live properly and fully unless the inevitability of death is accepted as an integral part of life.”
My previous post was on June 26. The days between then and now have been filled with my being present to what ended up being my friend’s death. Present with her. Present with those who love her and cared for her, including myself. She died Friday morning, just 24 hours after telling the doctor she wanted no more medical treatment but was choosing instead to be made comfortable and allowed to die in peace. We were preparing for her to come home with hospice care.
When people ask how I am, I say I am very sad, and I am glad she is no longer suffering, but mostly I am in awe. She is the first person I have touched after death. We were not yet at the hospital when we got the call she had died. I had spoken with that same nurse a little over an hour earlier. When I got to the hospital and entered the room with the purple door card I could not not touch her. Some will understand….
A dear friend who is no stranger to loss shared this from To Bless the Space Between Us: A Book of Blessings by John O’Donohue:
May you know that absence is alive with hidden presence,
that nothing is ever lost or forgotten.
May the absences in your life grow full of eternal echo.
May you sense around you the secret Elsewhere,
where the presences that have left you dwell.
May you be generous in your embrace of loss.
May the sore well of grief turn into a seamless flow of presence.
May your compassion reach out to the ones we never hear from.
May you have the courage to speak for the excluded ones.
May you become the gracious and passionate subject of your own life.
May you not disrespect your mystery through brittle words or false belonging.
May you be embraced by God in whom dawn and twilight are one.
May your longing inhabit it’s dreams within the Great Belonging.
It is mysterious why her death has affected me differently than any other. Yes, ours was a relationship which spanned over 27 years. I was present for her joys and sorrows over almost three decades. And, yes, we were both winter (Florida) and summer (Michigan) friends. Perhaps it is because I was so present with her that her absence is so alive with hidden presence.
I saw this on Facebook a couple of days before she died, and shared it with our Grief Journey Group.
I can’t say I loved you. I just can’t
Because it makes it sound as if my love is past tense. Gone, finished, ended.
And that is so far from the truth.
My love is not in the past. It will never be gone.
I love you now. Still.
You didn’t take all this love away with you. It stays. It lingers.
Some days it jumps up and hits me in the face just to remind me that it is still here. Still persevering.
Some days it nudges me. Challenges me to keep going. Daring me to find the strength to get through the day.
But mostly, it just resonates inside of me with everything I do. With every step forward and every glance back. Every close of my eyes. Every breath.
My love is not dependent on you being here.
There is nowhere far enough,
and nothing permanent enough
to stop me from loving you.
So I will not say I loved you.
Because I love you.
Still.
~ Becky Hemsley Poetry
I will not say I loved her. I love her still.
By Debra Basham, on June 26, 2024
Agitation is interesting.
Instead of trying to make it go away, allow it to be fully present, so that you can watch and learn its nature clearly.
~ The DailyTejaniya
It is difficult to recall how long ago now I saw so clearly the futility of speaking about a situation that is causing agitation. Any idiot can speak about the problem, but only someone with imagination has the wisdom mind to see solutions.
You are the only one who knows the conditions in your own life that are currently playing this dynamic out clearly, however, everyone has something going on right now that invites feeling helpless and perhaps even a bit hopeless.
I have previously mentioned my friend having SERIOUS health conditions in Florida over the winter and since returning to Michigan. (See Anxious Feelings – Power of Presence)
Well, conditions continue….
Last week I spent the morning with them at the hospital. She was having the long-awaited cardio version to return her heart to a normal sinus rhythm. We had opportunity to laugh at ourselves and one another. She had been desperate for a hair cut. The day before the cardio version she had an appointment, but when it came time to leave the house she refused to put her slippers on, going to the car instead in her bare feet! Helpless to reason with her, he drove her to the salon only to have her unable to navigate the unbearable heat of the blacktop parking lot. (Plus, with all the shenanigans they were already too late for her appointment!)
While the three of us waited in pre-op they were both willing and able to confess to and laugh at the absurdity they had collaborated. Unfortunately, we are all prone to mind states and habitual attitudes and unconscious catalysts that augment agitation and interrupt imagination, robbing us of the peace we truly are.
We talked about how counter productive human behavior can become when conditions prevent us from being able to have or do or be what we desire most — and sometimes actually need. You only have to think for one moment about the political or environmental or institutional climate crisis we are experiencing on this planet to understand fully the feelings leaning toward helplessness or hopelessness. Add as backdrop the layer of the inevitability of old age, illness, and death (from Buddhism: This body is subject to breaking up, subject to being laid down).
So, this morning I am allowing agitation to be fully present.
I am remembering how consistent I had to become with taking John’s vitals EVERY DAY and reporting them to his doctor EVERY WEEK for over two years now. You can watch and learn agitation’s nature clearly. The doctors’ agitation with the insurance stranglehold is not other than my own. The agitation with delay in getting access to what we want or need. The agitation that is precariously leaning toward helplessness or hopelessness, but also can open us up to imagination.
This comes from the preface of Imagine Healing: Guided Imagery to Help You Heal, by Debra Basham and Joel Bowman.
Woven into the fabric of your illness or health crisis, are the emotional, mental, and spiritual dynamics of both “dis-ease” and well-being. That simply means what is in the way, is the way. The use of your imagination can help you heal now.
By activating your imagination, you will not only be healing the physical ailment, you will be healing on all levels—body, mind, and spirit. Why settle for healing that is just skin deep, when you can activate your innate healing capacities. Although we cannot “unhappen” history, you are able to experience relief from painful memories, beliefs, attitudes, behaviors, even as you physically heal
Agitation is interesting.
Blessed be.
By Debra Basham, on June 13, 2024 Retreat Musings June 12, 2024
Today is the last day of this retreat with Barbara Brodsky and John Orr. I was blessed to stay in the guest quarters at the home of my dear friends, Delcy and Tom Kuhlman.
The title of this week is “Living Our True Nature as Love: Vipassana, Pure Awareness and Practices of the Heart” and this morning I wrote in my journal:
What has it meant for me to be present in this retreat? Nothing more or less than what it means for being present in any place and any time.
Two things that seem to want to be shared.
1) What is in the way is the way.
2) Practice with the everyday things of life, called the mundane. Years ago we learned an exercise to take a small amount of water into your mouth and just hold it as you watch an urge to swallow arise. When the urge begins to lessen, consciously swallow. Absolutely everything is arising and ceasing out of conditions. Perhaps there is a third thing that wants to be shared🤪
Everything in the mundane sense realm goes in totally. You may only be aware of aspects, but your experience includes everything: what you see, what you hear, what you feel (the kinestetic cluster includes what you taste and smell) as well as what you know. The sense realm that you are least aware of consciously often has the greatest influence.
It has come to be my experience that the same can be said of what are called the supramundane. Each mundane sense has a corresponding higher sense realm, because it is the consciousness with which we are perceiving that shifts what we perceive. These supramundane sense experiences are also always present, whether we have awareness of them or not: Nada is always there. Luminosity is always there. Chi energy is always there. Spaciousness is always there.
In Buddhism, however, nada refers to the sound of silence. To detect the nada sound, turn your attention toward your hearing. If you listen carefully to the sounds around you, you’re likely to hear a continuous, high-pitched inner sound like white noise in the background. (Article The Sound of Silence, published in Lion’s Roar.) Interestingly, nada is also the Spanish word for “nothing.”
According to Wikipedia, luminosity or clear light is the innate condition of the mind, associated with Buddha-nature, the realization of which is the goal of meditative practice. It can seem that everything is more brilliant than physical light, illuminated, almost glowing. Think about images of halo’s you may have seen.
Chi energy can be thought of as the bridge between your form (meaning your physical body, your thoughts, emotions, sensations) and the formless part of you which is your true essence — soul, spirit, or consciousness itself. Science might speak of the bio-electric magnetic field, energy that emanates from your organs.
Spaciousness is a bit more challenging to define but is likely the most basic. Think about it this way: The spacious mind has room for everything. It is like the space in a room, which is never harmed by what goes in and out of it. In fact, we say “the space in this room,” but actually, the room is in the space, the whole building is in the space.
The Daily Quote from Deep Spring for June 12, 2024 says, “There is no duality. Anything that is born of love also carries darkness and fear. These are not the essence; these are conditioned expressions. You cannot fully express love until you face fear. You cannot fully express light until you live in darkness and learn how to move through and transcend the darkness, transcending it by the light within you.”
The Daily Tejaniya tied right in: “Let things unfold naturally. As you watch an experience continuously, you will begin to recognize patterns. Later, you will see the whole picture. The value of meditation becomes more apparent with dedicated practice over long stretches of time.” (Article Noticing Space published in Tricycle.)
One of the most active points of this retreat was Dharma Sister who as the result of a brain bleed is having difficulty navigating the technology to access Zoom. It has taken a village to assist this beloved one to be able to have the experience of study, sharing, and meditating with others dedicated to the path. In thanking those who were physically there to offer the necessary support I said, “I am confident that if you had been with us on our closing Zoom circle to see and hear her read with such skill and depth of understanding of the Dharma her sections of the Mala Recitation I know you would share now in that joy completely.”
So many things shared by those on the retreat still resonate in my heart. Here are a couple of things that may also touch you deeply:
The Path of Love
by Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer
And here I thought the path of love
would look like love. Like kindness.
Like generosity. Like gentleness.
Instead it looks like me being bothered
by the sound of loud chewing. Me
wanting praise. Me needing to feel
loved. Hello me. How elegantly love
has arranged for me to meet
all the parts of me that would stand
in love’s way. How easily
it shows me I’ve thought of love
as a destination. But here is love
with no expectation. Here is love
with no name, no locus. Here
is love with no face, no shape, no
promise, no vow, no hope.
Here is love as itself, surging
and flowing, love as itself insisting
on love, love as itself eroding
all those layers of me that still
think they know something about love
(and love holds me while I rail
and love throws me back in the stream
and love is what is still here when I am not).
“Today, like every other day, we wake up empty and frightened. Don’t open the door to the study and begin reading. Take down the dulcimer. Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.” ~ Rumi
Yes, there are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground, and love is what is still here when I am not.
Blessed be….
By Debra Basham, on May 26, 2024 Themes seem to emerge into awareness while I am doing things other than looking for themes. Like peeling potatoes for potato salad for today’s Memorial Day meal to be shared with my sister, Janis, and my brother-in-love, Larry. Or while I was out riding my bike and meeting a breed of dog that looks a lot like a hyena (Korean Jindu). Sometimes when I stop doing and put my feet up.
Of course, everything is connected so last evening’s phone conversation with a Dharma Sister was already active in awareness. My friend had just attended a 10-day retreat where they were working with mindfulness of breathing. “Know the long and short breath.” She said it was not about the length of the breath but about what you think is a long breath or short breath. She went on to say that we are to know the whole breath body. You need to pay attention to the beginning, the middle, and the ending. They were also contemplating impermanence.
It seems impermanence is perhaps the only true constant!
This morning’s awareness was also shaped by my having listened to Tara Brach after the call with my friend. Tara was speaking about Inner Fire, what she also referred to as Spiritual Aspiration.
I noticed (and after number 2 I kept count) my friend’s repetitive use of a 3-word phrase: LORD, HELP US.
It seemed significant so I mentioned to her that she had used that phrase five times during our conversation. She had not been conscious of using it even once. I asked what the phrase means to her. She had no sense of connection to it.
Make sure you know this blog post is not a criticism of her, or even a comment about her personally. It likely is, however, vital to her and to all of us.
So, immediately following that conversation, it really caught my attention when Tara Brach (about 5 minutes into the talk) told of a man who was searching for something important and began to pray, “Lord, help me,” saying he would dedicate his life to service, he would be faithful, clear, true, strong – if God would answer his prayer. Moments later, the man found the item and quickly prayed again, “Never mind, God, I’ve found it.”
A search for the phrase “God, help us” produced an interesting post by Collins Dictionary: If you say God help us, you mean that you have negative feelings about the person or situation you are talking about.
Other ingredients in this mental stew include a draft I am working on for my next Insights article. The working title is “As a Child” and encourages looking at how experiences humans have while growing up shape beliefs that continue to operate long after they would not hold up to the light of day at an adult stage of our development.
I did find a reference online clarifying that “Lord” in the Old Testament merely refers to someone of a higher rank. Further down the Yellow Brick Road we may look more closely at that nuance.
Looking for an image of the phrase “Lord, Help Us” lead me to a sermon. Listening to part of the sermon, I heard how we sometimes wait a long time before we ask for help, staying in a problem that could have been been taken care of sooner, had we asked for help.
There may not be rock solid answers provided in this post, but these ideas touch me deeply today. Lord, help us may be an invitation for all of us to benefit from greater awareness.
By Debra Basham, on May 12, 2024 I was awake a few times during the night. My friend is in the hospital. She just got home from Florida on Tuesday about dinner time and when I took “Welcome Home” cookies to her about noon on Wednesday, it was obvious she was not in tip-top-shape. This friend had MAJOR back surgery while in Florida, and her history of heart issues resulted in a longer-than-expected stay in the hospital with MANY complications. We were so looking forward to her being home and healthy.
A call to her cardiologist office resulted in her going to ER. Sparing significant details, suffice it to say, she is in the hospital now. It seems she is having pauses between beats. She has called these “spells.” Feeling like she was going to faint, but not actually losing consciousness. The pauses have been getting longer and the plan is for her to receive a pacemaker. If you have a practice of prayers, please pass along some for her.
I had seen this post on Facebook from “Fabulous Lovers of Weird Everything” about ten days ago, and I knew this post was coming, even before the situation with my friend and before Mother’s Day.
“Piglet?” said Pooh.
“Yes?” said Piglet.
“I’m scared,” said Pooh.
For a moment, there was silence.
“Would you like to talk about it?” asked Piglet, when Pooh didn’t appear to be saying anything further.
“I’m just so scared,” blurted out Pooh.
“So anxious. Because I don’t feel like things are getting any better. If anything, I feel like they might be getting worse. People are angry, because they’re so scared, and they’re turning on one another, and there seems to be no clear plan out of here, and I worry about my friends and the people I love, and I wish SO much that I could give them all a hug, and oh, Piglet! I am so scared, and I cannot tell you how much I wish it wasn’t so.”
Piglet was thoughtful, as he looked out at the blue of the skies, peeping between the branches of the trees in the Hundred Acre Wood, and listened to his friend.
“I’m here,” he said, simply. “I hear you, Pooh. And I’m here.”
For a moment, Pooh was perplexed.
“But… aren’t you going to tell me not to be so silly? That I should stop getting myself into a state and pull myself together? That it’s hard for everyone right now?”
“No,” said Piglet, quite decisively. “No, I am very much not going to do any of those things.”
“But – ” said Pooh.
“I can’t change the world right now,” continued Piglet. “And I am not going to patronise you with platitudes about how everything will be okay, because I don’t know that.
“What I can do, though, Pooh, is that I can make sure that you know that I am here. And that I will always be here, to listen; and to support you; and for you to know that you are heard.
“I can’t make those Anxious Feelings go away, not really.
“But I can promise you that, all the time I have breath left in my body…you won’t ever need to feel those Anxious Feelings alone.”
And it was a strange thing, because even as Piglet said that, Pooh could feel some of those Anxious Feelings start to loosen their grip on him and could feel one or two of them start to slither away into the forest, cowed by his friend, who sat there stolidly next to him.
Pooh thought he had never been more grateful to have Piglet in his life.
~ Thinushi Jayarangi
When I got to the hospital on Friday, my friend had experienced an adverse reaction to an IV medication. Her heart rate and pulse had plummeted. The nurse and doctor were still there with her…. and my friend kept telling me how wonderful the nurse had been through the event, “She just stayed here with me and she kept calling me back….”
Perhaps today is the perfect day to share this story because it is Mother’s Day. I just sent a text message to a friend saying that not every woman (and not one man) gives birth to another human, but we all share in that universal love called MOTHER. That friend lost her mother recently and today is the first Mother’s Day with her mother in spirit.
Even when our physical mothers are not here in bodies we are receiving a Mother’s Love. Calling the planet we live on “Mother Earth” seems perfect. Every moment we are in these bodies we are being nurtured and held and sustained, especially when we are navigating challenging conditions and have anxious feelings.
Women and men are doing that for one another. The Holy Spirit is doing that for each of us. Our ancestors, our deities, our partners, our pets…. this is the Power of Presence.
By Debra Basham, on May 2, 2024 I have been working with a habitual habit energy. I’ve been at that place in the process where I could see clearly it was habit energy but I was not yet able to see what was driving it. You cannot see it until you can see it, and you cannot release it until you can see what is fueling the pattern from all sides..
This past Sunday Barbara Brodsky, (as The Mother), spoke to me about resistance. I was encouraged to just note it gently so the resistance can inform me about the places where I still hold something separate from myself. She reminded me that it is subtle, and cautioned me to not try to fix anything. Just be present with whatever is happening in the mind and body. Be aware of the overlap of that with the essence which is so open and broad and filled with love.
This reminds me of the holy experience of fully experiencing both the grief and the relief with loss. This morning it was the loss of a friend as navigated with her kitty. Eddie, an indoor-only de-clawed cat, got out and has been missing since Saturday. On Wednesday she was resolved to accept Eddie’s was the shriek she heard in the night on Saturday, rather than a rabbit being eaten by a coyote (as her neighbor and kittie-sitter wants to believe). Of course, neither of them has proof. (Please see update at the bottom of this page.)
Related to the habit energy I have been navigating, I am now able to observe how underneath the resistance has been sadness and fear. I am more aware of the sadness. This reminds me of the question: If a lion roars in front of a mirror, do you think the mirror roars? The mirror does nothing, it simply reflects.
The opening of a retreat with Barbara Brodsky includes taking The Five Basic Precepts, derived from the Tiep Hien Precepts. The second seems relevant to my having seen what has been fueling this habit energy pattern from all sides.
Possess nothing that should belong to others. Respect the property of others. Prevent others from enriching themselves from the suffering of humans or other beings.
In what ways do I take that which is not mine? Do I take more than my share? Can I become more mindful of when, why and how this happens?
I undertake the precept to refrain from taking that which is not freely given.
This is not the first time I have written about this habit energy. (See: It’s So Simple Isn’t It)
What I am able to see now is a time in the past when the shoe was on the other foot. What I have been experiencing as both recurring and painful I once was doing to another. I know harm was not intentionally inflicted, but I see clearly now that I was inflicting harm nonetheless.
A memory just popped in from years ago when I had seen some trash on the beach and a judgment about “someone who would litter” arose. Moments later as a receipt on my passenger seat was sucked out when I opened the car window on the drive home.
A stressful event occurred when the woman I was traveling in Europe with changed her mind about some directions she had given me without communicating that change. She was frustrated, angry, and lashed out. As she was admonishing me for not doing what she now wanted me to do, I had lucid awareness (time and place) of my having done that to another.
If someone calls us a fool and we
get angry, we think that this person
made us angry. But we don’t see the
subtle thought process that goes on:
the identification with self; the pride
that doesn’t want to be called a fool;
and all of that. That’s what makes
the mind angry, not anyone
calling you a fool.
~ The DailyTejaniya
In both of these past situations — and thankfully also with this current habit pattern — release comes when you see the pattern from all sides.
Update: Eddie is safely back home! Interestingly, the same family that saw his post on Nextdoor and sent a photo of another cat yesterday was successful in assisting Eddie’s safe return this evening…. So grateful for all.
By Debra Basham, on April 17, 2024 I almost did not go for an out-of-doors bike ride today because of a threat of rain and a fairly stiff wind, but the newborn leaves making their debut on the trees outside my window moved me. About 7 miles in, and very near home, the three walkers looked a rather odd trio from behind, and I spontaneously called out, “A rather unusual looking group of walkers!” They repeated my words and let their laughter speak agreement.
Then I saw her from the front. She had one of those BRILLIANT streaks of color on one side only of her longish hair. Suddenly I had the judgment, “I am pretty mundane when it comes to hair.” My sister, Janis, has had light hair/dark hair; short hair to almost no hair; normal-colored and not-so-normal colored hair. Sometimes she has had more than two of these in the same day!
In some traditions, hair is considered a metaphor for spirit and uncut hair the symbol of interconnectedness of all life. To cut one’s hair was thought to diminish strength or wisdom, while long hair represented a connection to the natural elements, including the spirit world and ancestors.
I have an album of photos on my iPhone titled: Hair. I have selected three. One is my photo from the year I was Number One in Sales at Creative Galleries. The dark hair phase photo shows me giving a tiny grandson, Adam, a massage as he smiles a sleepy slur saying, “Every peoples ought to have a massage.” The back shot is of my post-Covid hair taken by my brother-in-love, Larry Britton, shortly before I donated it to Wigs for Kids.
  
Last Friday evening we went to a “reunion” of The Dunns, a benefit concert of a Southern gospel band that Michael Springer, our music friend, toured with for many years. In addition to some old familiar gospel tunes, I heard some lyrics new to me that still linger, like the words to When I Get Carried Away © 2024 Heritage Singers.
It is interesting that I had unknowingly changed the words of that song ever-so-slightly from when to ’til:
I’m gonna have the time of my life ’til the time of my life is over; I’m gonna get carried away ’til I get carried away.
Perhaps my hair experiences have not been as mundane as I first thought.
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