I had some text exchange with my firstborn grandchild, Brad, sharing emotional reactions and perceptions of the current conditions. Some we love dearly entertain the notion that COVID-19 is a conspiracy. I shared with him a recent writing:
Daily Doula Duty
My book, I Learned Everything I Needed to Know About Life Working as a Doula, is not yet written, but the awareness is etched into my days nonetheless. The last trimester of pregnancy is no picnic. Sleep is illusive as pressure on the bladder likely means many trips to the bathroom. The rapidly growing fetus works hard to finds comfortable place to stretch out in the tight quarters—often right on the mom’s sciatic nerve. Back pain, leg cramps…. Perhaps all of this is preparation.
Most women go into labor exhausted, and after that there will be long days and short nights of having an infant to care for.
The job of the doula is to coach the woman into conserving what precious little energy she has. She is going to need it.
No matter how long or how difficult the labor, the hardest work comes after the cervix is dilated¬—in the second stage of labor.
The second stage of labor is when the woman really needs stamina. And stamina takes energy.
One of my clients had to be put on oxygen to be able to push. Not only was she exhausted, she also had bronchitis.
My sister delivered her youngest just as intestinal flu was ramping through her family of five, the normal work of laboring was clearly distorted by the accompanying vomiting and diarrhea.
The human mind is very prone to vomiting and diarrhea….
When all is said and done, we may be among the fortunate ones to have survived the pandemic of 2020. Suffice it to say, humanity as a whole is likely going into the second stage of labor exhausted.
High-powered executives confessed to hoping for a scheduled cesarean delivery….
It is important to conserve our energy. We don’t know what more is going to be demanded of us.
Bonnie’s daughter is celebrating Mother’s Day this year having just lost her mom to COVID-19. There was no access to the hospital. No visitation or funeral. She writes: “I am going to go pack up some of her things on Sunday. I have some other ideas to share some special moments with her, too. I feel her a lot. It almost feels like she’s not gone because she is around so much. Meaning I don’t miss her physical presence (as much) because her spirit is so strong.”
The second stage of labor can last a few moments or a few hours.
Take heart: the second stage of labor means the cervix has already dilated.
Your body, your mind, and your spirit can do what is being asked of it.
Key awareness at this point: Don’t be a prisoner to what you cannot change.
• Remember this is not your birth
• Remember to rest when you can
• Remember to breathe through contractions
• Remember you are not the first or the only to go through this
• Remember everything you have done to be ready
• Remember getting through this is the most important thing
• Remember you will forget the pain
Debra Basham 05-08-2020 (WC 500)
Brad responded, “Is this some ninja level NLPing?”
Zan Lombardo, my friend and artist extraordinaire, was doing some creative mending during our Southern Circle Poets virtual gathering. On the shirt in the photo below, what seems to be a pendant, is actually where a moth hole was. The turquoise is a random doodled line that Zan stitched.
Transrational Pyramid from Healing with Language (Bowman and Basham p.187):
The observer’s perspective is both caring and disinterested, free of attachment, neither fearing nor desiring a specific outcome, but wanting only what is usually called the Highest Good for all. That doesn’t mean they have given up playing an active role in causes and activities they think are beneficial. It just means that they do so from a more peaceful and less judgmental perspective.
Now, that is some creative mending….
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