Carlsbad, California, June 2006, “The Scariest Thing,”, AA Grapevine
Accepting life right now means adapting to a lot of change. By the first of June, in the past many years, I would have for a couple of months been comfortably settled in to weekly trips to Kalamazoo. Sometimes seeing clients at Borgess Integrative Medicine, most weeks enjoying a walk with Joel to the WMU Engineering campus to see the swans, I would certainly be enjoying interacting with his three indoor cats: Bobbie, McGee, and Zeus.
I would normally have been seeing clients in St. Joseph, and for sure enjoying meals with my sister and brother-in-law, and loving getting together with friends.
2020 is unlike any other year in the 20th century, and unlike any other year in my life.
The May 6, 2020, Deep Spring Center Thought for Today, quotes Aaron, “Great care must be taken that wisdom and compassion are not learned before faith and love, but simultaneously or after. Distorted compassion can lead to a distortion of wisdom which does not oppose negativity with love, but rather, feels obligated to hear it out; and in that way, negativity may play on that compassion and wisdom and manipulate the, as yet, immature faith and love.”
Social-isolation is revealing our immature faith and love. Humans have been very proficient at planning, controlling, and trying to dictate the events of our lives. We have wanted things to be a certain way, and we have worked diligently to that end. The current conditions around the coronavirus (COVID-19) are out of our control, and mostly we do not like that at all.
Some people admit to liking some things about the current conditions. Perhaps there is no commute time now, as many are working from home. Some are laid off, enjoying time for leisure or hobbies while collecting unemployment benefits. Environmentalists and nature lovers value cleaner air and water and less noise pollution. While some aspects of our lives are definitely more difficult, every challenge offers opportunities.
In The Wisdom of No Escape and the Path of Lovingkindness, Pema Chodron (American Buddhist nun), writes of making friends with our selves and our world, and about accepting the delightful and painful situation of “no exit.”
The five spiritual faculties in Buddhism are: faith, energy, mindfulness, concentration, and wisdom. This is the fourth term of a two-year Dharma Path study. When I was exploring whether I was to commit to this program or not, I was kicking and screaming. Classes meet on Tuesday evenings, the same time our local St. Joseph Buddhist Sangha meets. The Dharma Path commitment was a lot of time and a lot of money.
“There is nothing you are going to be doing in these two-years that is more important than this,” came the message from my inner voice. The emphasis of our current term, designed almost three years ago, has us all working with darkness….
I actually love darkness. I have room darkening shades, light blocking drapes, and I put a towel over the nightlight in the outlet in our master bathroom. I cover the small red light on the cable box for the TV, and the blue blinking light on my electric toothbrush.
It is not so much the darkness I love, but I love what is visible within the darkness. That is the way darkness becomes sacred. You let your light shine….
When I got up this morning, the full moon was shining in through the front bedroom. A sliver of light worked its way along the floor, lighting my path, beckoning me to comes sit in the silence. I lit the oil globe and turned on the recording of last night’s teaching, and sat in what was my mom’s rocking chair.
My mind drifted back to a phone conversation with a friend yesterday. She was trying to make choices about the near future. Right now, even that is not possible. We do not know. Some anticipate an element of social-distancing may be prudent for months or years. My friend said, “I can’t do that!”
What a dis-empowered statement. We do not yet know what will be necessary, but we do know we already survived a lot in our lives. We are more capable than we admit, even to ourselves. What is accurate to say might be, “It terrifies me to think about that.” We might feel sad, or frightened, or helpless. All of these inner conditions are honest given the outer conditions. But, saying, “I can’t” does not even fit. How do you know what you are capable of as we move forward?
Reading now in the book for this two-year intensive (The Path of Clear Light by Aaron expressed through Barbara Brodsky), “You may freely choose, once you understand how to do so.”
Just watch it, without trying to fix it.
Breathing in, bring awareness to tension.
Breathing out, smile into the tension.
There is nothing to fix.
Each time you attend to fear or other contracting emotions with kindness, you release a layer of binding.
With added light it becomes easier to release the next layer.
In SCS/NLP we are always working with limiting beliefs. We watch language vigilantly for clues that an immature state has been activated: can’t, won’t, always, never….
Accepting life as it is right now is willingness to change. You willingly change your world by seeing and saying the truth of what you can, and what you will. Willingness to change is about realizing it is never too late to have a happy childhood and, even with current conditions, you still can live happily the rest of your life….