Everyone—you, me, and everyone we know–has a communication preference. The three basic categories are visual (things seen), auditory (things heard), and kinesthetic (things felt). Most everyone does all three, of course, and the three main forms typically overlap. If you see a word in print, for example, you might also “hear” the word in your head. If the word is a “touchy-feely” word (as in “smooth as silk”), you may also be aware of a kinesthetic (bodily) sensation.
Although a vast majority of people use all three main forms of communication (often in combination), everyone has a preference, a form of communication they feel best about using and to which they pay the closest attention. I am a good reader. Reading is, of course, one of those things that combines modalities. The word in print is a representation of its auditory equivalent. Good readers, however, can read at a much faster rate than people can speak or listen.
When you can, pay attention to the communication preferences of those with whom you communicate, and do your best to accommodate their preferences. Do they seem most responsive to visual, auditory, or kinesthetic information? And what about you? Do you pay most attention to what you see, what you hear, or what you “feel”? The only real answer to that question is, of course, “It depends.”
One of the things about communication preferences is that there is/are no good or bad preferences. Each of the main communication modalities (visual, auditory, and kinesthetic) has advantages and disadvantages. Visual images convey a lot of information very quickly. Auditory images (sounds) typically convey information in linear form, even when sounds are combined (as in an orchestral presentation), and kinesthetic sensations provide a sense of immediacy. While there is overlap among the modalities, each has advantages and disadvantages.
One of the sayings from Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) is “Your brain works faster than you think.” Richard Bandler has been saying that for years, and science has proved it. It is literally true: Most people can neither speak nor listen as quickly as they can read or, for that matter, type (assuming decent keyboarding skills). In terms of communication, the question becomes, what is your brain doing while it is waiting to hear what words will be spoken next?
The next time you are watching a TV show (it doesn’t really matter what kind, but a daily news broadcast would be ideal), pay attention to what your brain is doing while you are watching—and listening to—a TV broadcast. What does your brain do with what you are seeing and hearing? What kind of commentary are you providing yourself on your experience? I suspect that much of what you see and hear will result in some inner dialogue and/or emotional reaction. You see and hear what’s on the TV, and you talk to yourself about what you just saw and heard. That is, after all, the way we make sense of things.
Debra mentioned that I do not like phone or video conversations. That’s not quite correct. For the simple conveying of information, I prefer reading. I can read a lot faster than I can listen or watch video. If you want me to know something, put it in writing. That doesn’t mean that conversation can’t serve useful purpose beyond the social connection. In some cases, people do well to discuss a topic to reach an understanding and consensus. Reaching an agreement by exchanging written messages might take an inordinate amount of time, especially in comparison with a group discussion. Committee meetings sometimes serve useful purpose.
What are your communication preferences? How do you like to receive information: would you prefer to listen to a lecture, read the same information in print form, or watch a video (or stage) presentation? As you think about the possibilities, you might conclude that it depends. And it is worth spending some time thinking about what it depends on. See if you can determine the communication preferences of those with whom you interact most often. How do you know their preferences? Are you able to adjust your communication style to meet the other person’s needs and expectations? If nothing else, you can experiment, and your next communication experience might be different as a result.