As a lover of words, one game I enjoy playing involves mnemonics, especially the version where you create a word by using the first letter of a list of words, such as FEAR standing for false evidence appearing real.
Imagine my delight when author and teacher, Pema Chödrön, created an amazing reminder tool using the word FEAR as steps for how we can all more effectively deal with our difficult emotions. Here are the four steps:
F – Find it in your body.
E – Embrace it.
A – Allow the thoughts about it to dissolve, and just abide with the feeling.
R – Remember all the other people in the world who are feeling what you are feeling.
She cautions you to not think embracing the feeling is condoning something destructive (such as hatred or jealousy), but rather this is about your developing an unconditional friendship with yourself where you are able to see clearly what is helpful or not as you let what you are experiencing become a reference point for empathy.
Just as this is not condoning, it is also not coddling. In order to get unentangled, you must first see clearly where you have been entangled. Now your own wisdom can kick in and empower you to make choices that lead to more desired results.
This week, practice unconditional friendship with yourself. As you are able to do this more and more, you will also bring out the best in your family, friends, neighbors, and co-workers. Our society and the whole human race can benefit from our small steps in unconditional friendship with ourselves!
This health tip originally appeared online at https://scs-matters.com/
Unconditional-Friendship/. Send email or call or text to schedule a private session with Debra.
Tips from 5 April 2010 to 6 August 2012 are here: Archived Tips
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Rev.Debra Basham
Voice or text: (269) 921-2217 Email or Text: debra@scs-matters.com https://scs-matters.com http://ImagineHealing.info http://SurgicalSupport.info Small Changes … Infinite Results™
“If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” ~ |