The order in which things are said and done is important. In the physical environment, we know that the horse should come before the cart. Most of us know that if we’re driving and want to spit out the window, it is best to roll down the window before spitting.
With language, however, it is not always obvious that the sequence in which things are said will influence how others respond, or that sequence is a major indicator of behavioral tendencies. We have previously noted the importance sequence with the “Magic But.” Compare the following:
- This medication will help you, but it is expensive.
- This medication is expensive, but it will help you.
For most people, the second sentence is more persuasive. People will reveal the language sequences that work best for them when they talk. In terms of chunking information, do they most often go from a specific detail to the big picture, or do they start with the big picture and move in the direction of specific details?
How do they sequence references to sensory processing (Visual, Auditory, and Kinesthetic)? Do they start with visual words, and move to auditory, and finally to kinesthetic? Do they begin with auditory, skip the visual, and end with kinesthetic? Almost always, such sequences end with the kinesthetic—a feeling of commitment to something.
I can see what you mean, and what you said about my problem makes sense. I feel (believe, agree) that the procedure will help me a lot.
With just a bit of practice, you will be able to easily notice the other person’s most common sequence. Your using that same sequence will allow what you say to be more persuasive. In some instances, your being more persuasive might be the difference between life or death.
Send your questions about how other-than-conscious communication skills can hurt or help your patients and clients to Joel P. Bowman (Joel@SCS-Matters.com) or Debra Basham (Debra@SCS-Matters.com), co-developers of Subtle Communication Systems. We will provide answers to those for you. For more information about Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP), Hypnosis or Hypnotherapy, or about the Imagine Healing Process, visit:http://ImagineHealing.info or http://SurgicalSupport.info.
Healing with Language: Your Key to Effective Mind-Body Communication is available for a limited time for $10 plus $5 shipping within the U.S. For volume orders and overseas shipping, check with Debra. See the Table of Contents and List of Exercises in PDF format for more information about this comprehensive text and training manual.