- I see what you mean.
- I hear you.
- I catch your drift.
People, including your friends, relatives, and clients or patients, use sense-based language to communicate. Matching another person’s use of sense-based language is an important part of rapport (July 20, 2012, ICIM: Your Between Conference Connection language tip). Those who need to see something to be convinced, for example, may not respond when they hear it.
As with other language patterns, people are often not aware, but, in general, people respond more quickly to their favorite (most used) sensory language. People who process most of their information visually will use more visual vocabulary than auditory language or kinesthetic (touch, smell, taste, and emotions). All people tend to respond more favorably with those whose sense-based vocabulary is most like their own.
Most people can, of course, “translate” from one sensory system to another. The question is how quickly and easily they do it. In settings involving stress, as can be the case with health-related issues, just remember that the other will hear you more accurately and remember what you have said longer when you use his or her favorite sense-based vocabulary to communicate.
It is easy to pay attention to sense-based vocabulary during any conversations you have, and particularly during a formal intake procedure. To clarify: Do your best to use the most frequently used sense. The words will actually resonate with the other individual. We also have a least familiar sense—one that can irritate us and damage rapport.
Because you already have a favorite sense, matching the favorite sense of others of may take some practice if it is different from yours, but you’ll find it worth the investment. Notice if this language tip sounds good to you, and if you are glad to be someone others are quite comfortable around. For those of us who want to help and heal, it’s just the right thing to do.
Send your questions about communication to Joel P. Bowman (Joel@SCS-Matters.com) or Debra Basham (Debra@SCS-Matters.com), co-developers of SCS Matters, LLC. We will provide answers to those for you. For more information about Healing with Language: Your Key to Effective Mind-Body Communication, Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP), Hypnosis or Hypnotherapy, or about the Imagine Healing Process, visit: http://www.SCS-Matters.com or http://ImagineHealing.info