Everyone knows it is not possible to always be on the same page with another, even those with whom we live and work and have significant emotional connection. Maintaining rapport during the communication process with patients and clients can make the difference between success and failure, for you and for them.
At those times when rapport is lost or damaged, it is imperative you know how what helps to reestablish rapport or avoid further division.
When you become aware that something you have said has resulted in a loss of rapport, remember that although you are not responsible for what the other person thinks or feels, you are responsible for what you said and did.
As the “professional” you are expected to be attentive to the way others respond, and for reestablishing rapport. Here are four steps to help you in that process:
Assess: How much rapport have you actually lost? Is the other person angry, or are you simply a bit out of synch? Avoid mind reading. You may need to ask what you said or did that the other person has reacted to. Understanding the reason for the other person’s point of view might change yours.
Apologize: A sincere apology is often the surest way to reestablish rapport, and remember you are not apologizing for what the other may be judging that you said or did wrong, you are simply acknowledging that you are sorry for the loss of rapport.
Amend: It helps for you to realize that the other’s feelings are based on his or her perception, so they are not “wrong,” even if your perception differs from theirs. The trick is to amend, not defend. Asking the other to help you understand, and offering an apology is often all it takes. When you still need to share information, try offering that in a different way, using a different word or phrase—paying attention to your tone of voice and your body language as well.
Affirm: Acknowledge points of agreement and, when it is appropriate, the importance of the relationship. Loss of rapport, even significant, does not have to mean an end to the relationship. In fact, the strength of your bond can follow naturally as you are able to easily take these steps.
Send your questions about how other-than-conscious communication skills can hurt or help your patients and clients to Joel P. Bowman (Joel@SCS-Matters.com) or Debra Basham (Debra@SCS-Matters.com), co-developers of Subtle Communication Systems. We will provide answers to those for you. For more information about Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP), Hypnosis or Hypnotherapy, or about the Imagine Healing Process, visit:http://ImagineHealing.info or http://SurgicalSupport.info.
Healing with Language: Your Key to Effective Mind-Body Communication is available for a limited time for $10 plus $5 shipping within the U.S. For volume orders and overseas shipping, check with Debra. See the Table of Contents and List of Exercises in PDF format for more information about this comprehensive text and training manual.