In previous language tips, we have discussed matching and mirroring the nonverbal behavior of your clients or patients, with emphasis on being similar rather than identical to avoid the sense of mimicking the other. We also suggested matching the sense-based vocabulary of others so that they can better see what you mean, hear what you are saying, or get a grip on your ideas.
To allow things to be completely easy for you, in terms of rapport and understanding, remember that people speak at the rate they can comprehend language. If you speak too quickly for slow talkers, they will not be able to process everything you are saying. If you speak too slowly for a quick talkers, they will fill in the perceived gaps between your words with their own ideas.
While our own natural rate of speech is a fairly ingrained habit, as you begin matching the other person’s rate of speech, because what was unfamiliar becomes familiar with practice, soon changing your rate of speech will seem natural. Fortunately, even small changes in the direction of the rate of speech of others makes a big difference.
For fun, when you watch TV news shows, pay attention to the rate of delivery of the principal anchors. They tend to speak at a medium rate—neither rapidly nor slowly—as that rate is comfortable for the most people. Like Goldilocks preferring the chair, the bed, and the porridge that was just right, rate of speech that is just right is a wonderful way you are saying, “I am present with you. I am not going anywhere. I am right here to help you find ways you can be well.”
Send your questions about how other-than-conscious communication skills can hurt or help your patients and clients to Joel P. Bowman (Joel@SCS-Matters.com) or Debra Basham (Debra@SCS-Matters.com), co-developers of Subtle Communication Systems. We will provide answers to those for you. For more information about Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP), Hypnosis or Hypnotherapy, or about the Imagine Healing Process, visit:http://ImagineHealing.info or http://SurgicalSupport.info. Healing with Language: Your Key to Effective Mind-Body Communication is available for a limited time for $10 plus $5 shipping within the U.S. For volume orders and overseas shipping, check with Debra.See the Table of Contents and List of Exercises in PDF format for more information about this comprehensive text and training manual.
|