It will come as no surprise to you that the clients or patients with whom you have good rapport will not only be more compliant with your directions, but very well may also get better results from following them. We all tend to like others we think are like us and feel more comfortable with those we consider similar. It is best when rapport just happens naturally as people believe, value, and enjoy the same or similar things as you do. Even when you lack good “natural” rapport with someone, however, you can establish “situational” rapport by paying attention to the person’s nonverbal behavior, including rate of speech and gestures. We all tend to like those we see as being like us.
People tend to speak at the rate at which they process language. Match the rate the other person speaks. If he or she speaks very quickly and you tend to speak slowly, you can easily increase your pace. If he or she speaks very slowly and you tend to speak quickly, slow down. You don’t have to match the other person’s rate of speech exactly, but the closer you are the other’s rate of speech, the better you will be understood.
Match the other person’s vocabulary. Before you provide a more technical description of what’s going on with your clients or patients, parrot-phrase what they said, using their language so that they can be sure that you heard them. You can then introduce them to the correct vocabulary while maintaining rapport.
Match or mirror the other person’s gestures. Matching is gesturing from the same side (right or left) as the other. Mirroring is a “mirror image” gesture with the opposite side. While an exact match of all the gestures of the other person would not win friends and influence clients or patients, similar postures and gestures increase another person’s sense of familiarity. If the other person uses big, flamboyant gestures, and you tend to be “self-contained,” open up a bit. The same is true in the reverse. If you’re the flamboyant one and your client is restrained, reduce your tendency to use big gestures and notice the connection you can make. Matching someone else doesn’t have to be exact to be effective.
Improving your ability to establish rapport quickly and easily is one of the easiest ways to increase your effectiveness with your clients or patients—and with everyone you encounter.
Send your questions about how other-than-conscious communication skills can hurt or help your patients and clients to Joel P. Bowman (Joel@SCS-Matters.com) or Debra Basham (Debra@SCS-Matters.com), co-developers of Subtle Communication Systems. We will provide answers to those for you. For more information about Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP), Hypnosis or Hypnotherapy, or about the Imagine Healing Process, visit:http://ImagineHealing.info or http://SurgicalSupport.info. Healing with Language: Your Key to Effective Mind-Body Communication is available for a limited time for $10 plus $5 shipping within the U.S. For volume orders and overseas shipping, check with Debra.See the Table of Contents and List of Exercises in PDF format for more information about this comprehensive text and training manual.
|