If you want to be of assistance to others and/or to enjoy your own life, “Point of View” may be one of the best tools in your toolkit. It is also known as “Perceptual Position.” Without awareness, most people typically focus only on their own point of view, or “First Position.” In First Position, I see a conversation with another from my own perspective only, without consideration for the other person’s perceptive.
In “Second Position,” I imagine what the conversation looks, sounds, and feels like to the other person. Occasionally, a person will lack “First Position” almost entirely and rarely take into consideration his or her own perspective.
In “Third Position,” you are able to imagine what the conversation looks, sounds, and feels like to a neutral observer. Both Second and Third Positions flow from a willingness to “objectify” a conversation by giving up First Position. This happens naturally by seeking to see things from another point of view.
Imagine for a minute witnessing (from Third Position) a parent scolding a child for writing on a wall with a crayon. What does that “conversation” look, sound, and feel like from the perspective of the parent? What does it look, sound, and feel like from the perspective of the child? As the “witness,” you probably know that the objective of the conversation should be to persuade the child to find a better writing surface but can become focused on punishing the child for bad behavior. The child feels bad and blames the parent for the bad feelings.
In conversations between adults, we can benefit greatly by stopping to think about what conversations might look, sound, and feel like from Second or Third position. Your ability to consider alternative views is often the key to effective communication about critical issues. You may have performed a procedure or treated a condition hundreds of times, but for your client or patient, it’s probably the first time. What does that client or patient need to see, hear, and feel to be fully comfortable and cooperative?
As you take the perceptual positions of others into account, you will gain both empathy and effectiveness. This is true when you are communicating with clients and patients, and also true when you are communicating with your family and friends.
Send your questions about how other-than-conscious communication skills can hurt or help your patients and clients to Joel P. Bowman (Joel@SCS-Matters.com) or Debra Basham (Debra@SCS-Matters.com), co-developers of Subtle Communication Systems. We will provide answers to those for you. For more information about Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP), Hypnosis or Hypnotherapy, or about the Imagine Healing Process, visit:http://ImagineHealing.info or http://SurgicalSupport.info.
Healing with Language: Your Key to Effective Mind-Body Communication is available for a limited time for $10 plus $5 shipping within the U.S. For volume orders and overseas shipping, check with Debra. See the Table of Contents and List of Exercises in PDF format for more information about this comprehensive text and training manual.