In previous Language Tips, we have discussed rate of speech and the need to match the rate of speech of those with whom you’re communicating and matching their sensory predicates (visual, auditory, or kinesthetic) to enhance your communication effectiveness. One other aspect of voice that plays an important role in communication effectiveness is tonality.
Tonality is more than tone of voice. Tonality is what makes a voice both believable and easy to listen to. It is also something that isn’t taught much outside of acting classes. Believable voices—in both men and women—originate in the abdomen rather than in the nose, throat, or upper chest. You can check your own voice by checking to see what part of your body vibrates when you speak.
Put the fingers of one hand on your nose and say, “This is my nose,” while adjusting your resonance until you can feel your nose vibrate. That’s a tone to avoid because most people find it irritating. If that’s your normal tone, learn to shift your vocal vibration downward.
Put the fingers of one hand on your throat and say, “This is my throat,” while adjusting your resonance until you can feel your throat vibrate. In general, people will respond better to a throat vibration than to a nasal vibration, but what is said with a throat vibration lacks authority. If you use a throat vibration while giving instructions, others are less likely to follow them than if you used a more authoritative voice.
Put your hand against your upper chest and say, “This is my chest,” while adjusting your resonance until you can feel your upper chest vibrate. If this is a challenge for you, your normal tone of voice has probably been originating in your throat. Words that resonate in the upper chest have more authority—carry more weight—than those resonating in the nose or throat, so if this vibration seems natural to you, you’re heading in the right direction.
Now put your hand against your abdomen and say, “This is my abdomen,” while adjusting your resonance until you can feel your abdomen vibrate. This is the vibration that gives a voice the sound of authority. And, for those of you who might be interested, it is also the tonality of sex appeal. It’s the resonance that indicates the person is centered and well-grounded. This tonality is the hallmark of what is often called a “magnetic personality” because it is the tonality that others find appealing.
If you aren’t already speaking naturally from your abdomen, work on dropping the place of tonal resonance in your body until it is in your abdomen. You can also train your voice by paying close attention to the tonality of speakers and actors whose voices you find attractive and compelling and then imitating the tonality they use. Your friends, family, and patients will feel—as well as hear—the difference.