Unless you are reading, language is not a “stand-alone” form of communication. It occurs in a context that includes nonverbal components. The most frequently cited study [Mehrabian and Ferris’ 1967 article in the Journal of Consulting Psychology, 31:3, pp. 248-252] concluded that meaning was determined primarily by nonverbal components:
- Physiology and appearance — 55 percent
- Paralanguage — 38 percent
- Language — 7 percent
Paralanguage consists of vocal output other than words, including rate of speech, note of voice, pauses, and similar nonlanguage components.
A number of subsequent studies have confirmed the relative importance of nonverbal and verbal aspects of communication in determining how believable you are when communicating with family, friends, clients, or patients.
We are believable when our verbal and nonverbal messages are congruent, meaning that they say the same thing. If you say, “I have been successful in treating this condition countless times,” while shaking your head “no,” the nonverbal message is what most likely will be believed.
You can often discover what you really believe about what you are saying by paying attention to the nonverbal behavior that accompanies your speech. It is also worth paying attention to the nonverbal behavior of others when they are communicating something of importance. When you ask a question, pay attention to the nonverbal. When asking, “Do you understand?” or “Do you agree?” an unconscious negative headshake will be more honest than an answer.
If you must provide clients or patients with warnings for legal reasons, such as, “I am required to tell you that this surgery may result in death,” you may wish to use the power of the nonverbal to help the individual believe in a positive outcome. As you say the words, give just a tiny negative head shake. His or her unconscious will read that as, “You can come through this just fine.”