People communicate in a wide variety of verbal and nonverbal ways simultaneously. It is impossible not to communicate because all behavior contains both explicit and implicit messages. These messages may complement or contradict one another. When verbal and nonverbal messages complement each other, the communicator is said to be “congruent.” A lack of congruence indicates some kind of internal conflict in the speaker, often between the conscious and unconscious or below-conscious minds.
A patient might say he or she is “fine,” while his or her tone of voice, posture, and energy all communicate something else entirely. A woman was being given the suggestion for a solution to a presenting problem. After everything had been explained carefully, she had a slight negative head shake when asked if she were going to follow through with the suggestions. Even though her verbal response was, “Yes,” her nonverbal message, including her tone of voice, her posture, and her energy clearly communicated her real answer. Regardless of her words, the implicit message was the honest one.
Our bodies—right down to the cellular level—are influenced by what we think, and what we think is influenced by what we do with our bodies. Pay attention to those times when you are feeling or thinking something you wish you were not. When we communicate with others, we touch them with our physical body, but we also touch them with our language (the way we use certain words), and with our energy or intention. If we feel hurried, we communicate that. If we feel stressed, we communicate that. If we are relaxed or peaceful, bored or interested, patient or annoyed, anxious or trusting—these all get communicated.
Communication is like an iceberg—most of the substance is below the surface. You can learn to “read” the information that usually lies below the level of conscious awareness by watching posture and gestures and listening to changes in speech patterns (especially pitch, tone, and rate).
Send your questions about how other-than-conscious communication skills can hurt or help your patients and clients to Joel P. Bowman (Joel@SCS-Matters.com) or Debra Basham (Debra@SCS-Matters.com), co-developers of Subtle Communication Systems. We will provide answers to those for you. For more information about Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP), Hypnosis or Hypnotherapy, or about the Imagine Healing Process, visit:http://ImagineHealing.info or http://SurgicalSupport.info.
Healing with Language: Your Key to Effective Mind-Body Communication is available for a limited time for $10 plus $5 shipping within the U.S. For volume orders and overseas shipping, check with Debra. See the Table of Contents and List of Exercises in PDF format for more information about this comprehensive text and training manual.