Even when the current situation is uncomfortable or isn’t consciously desired, a patient or client may lack the willingness to change. The difference between a stated desire and an the willingness to change is usually called resistance. Resistance usually results from some hidden benefit (secondary gain) from the status quo.

You can help someone begin […]

The classic negative command is, “Don’t think of elephants.” Negative commands set up a double-bind. People have to think of elephants so that they know what they are not supposed to think about. If you’ve ever told anyone, “Don’t look now, but…,” you know what happens next. The impulse to look is almost overwhelming.

Think […]

In previous columns, we have discussed rate of speech and the need to match the rate of speech of those with whom you’re communicating and matching their sensory predicates (visual, auditory, or kinesthetic) to enhance your communication effectiveness. One other aspect of voice that plays an important role in communication effectiveness is tonality.

Tonality is […]

The first linguistic model adopted by Richard Bandler and John Grinder when they developed Neurolinguistic Programming was called “the Metamodel” because it was first and foundational. The underlying metaphor is, “The map is not the territory.” As we have mentioned in previous tips, just as maps focus on limited aspects of the actual territory, human […]

People use their internal representations of their sensory experiences to create and process meanings. Each of the major sensory systems or modalities has submodalities that influence meaning:

Visual: Size, distance, brightness, clarity, color, movement, contrast, location, frame, and point of view (especially associated or dissociated) Auditory: Volume, tone, pitch, inflection, rhythm, location, rate, and duration […]