The Christian Bible says that Satan is the “Father of Lies.” The actual Father of Lies, however, is fear. Regardless of whether you believe that Satan is a metaphor for fear, you undoubtedly know that people lie when they are afraid. Everyone, George Washington included, has lied and will probably lie again. Lying is a normal part of human existence because humans experience fear. Think about the last time you told a lie, especially a significant one, and note that you felt fearful before uttering your lie. You can use knowing that fear is the “father” of lies to increase not only your self-understanding, but also your understanding of others.
Even the so-called “little white lies” originate in fear. It may be the fear of hurting someone else, but it is your fear nevertheless. It isn’t necessarily wrong or “evil” to tell a lie, especially when the person you are protecting is someone else, but my sense is that it is wrong to lie without recognizing the fear that prompts it. When you recognize the fear, you can choose more consciously which lies to tell and which to avoid. This concept falls into the category of reducing fear through knowledge. As Richard Bandler rightly says, the more you know, the less you fear.
You can use this concept to better understand both yourself and others. Over the past couple of years, I have been observing with increasing interest the lies being told by politicians in the States. Getting angry about political lies doesn’t help much, and when you recognize that the underlying motivation for political lies as well as for the “social lies” is fear, you can better understand why politicians lie. Your first inclination might be to think that greed is the motivator, but greed is simply a cover-up for fear. People are greedy because they fear poverty, in one form (monetary) or another (such as power, influence, or control).
A complicating factor, of course, is perceptual frame (see my previous blog, “Framing and Reframing,” 6 March). If I truly believe that the moon is made of green cheese, I am not “lying” when I tell you that the moon is made of green cheese, even if physical evidence shows that there’s absolutely no green cheese on the moon. Because perceptual frames are governed by belief systems, those who, like the Yahoos in Jonathan Swift’s Gulliver’s Travels, are saying the thing that “was not true,” will be more truthful once the underlying belief has changed. Those who already know that a belief is false and still continue to say the thing that is not true are motivated by fear.
I wonder from time to time what kind of social/cultural arrangements we would have if we—humans—weren’t so fearful about so many things. Would we be able to recognize that the “pie” of well-being is large enough for everyone to have a fair share? Would we be able to recognize that the lies and manipulation sparked by fear spawn counterlies and countermanipulation? One lie often leads to a number of others. As Sir Walter Scott said, “Oh what a tangled web we weave, / When first we practice to deceive!” With lies and counterlies multiplying like so many bacteria, is it any wonder that most modern governmental bodies are in a state of gridlock?
These days, thanks to the Internet, it is relatively easy to check the veracity of most of the statements you are likely to hear. That gives you the opportunity to check the evidence instead of simply accepting or rejecting an idea. Even if the evidence is not clear, as seems to be the case with beliefs about whether humans are responsible for global warming, you can check the record. Has the Earth ever been really hot before? Has the Earth ever been really cold before? Of course, if you are among those who reject the scientific notion of geophysical time, you would need to check the evidence for that belief and its alternative before deciding about global warming.
One of the things to be aware of as you investigate the evidence for any particular belief is whether you feel afraid. If the idea of investigating a particular statement of belief causes you be afraid, it needs to be investigated first. What is causing the fear? Because the more you know, the less you fear, every fear you can eliminate by knowing more allows you to be more truthful—and less fearful—more of the time—and that’s a goal worth pursuing, isn’t it….
