No doubt you have heard the phrase be careful what you ask for. The idea is that you will get it. This truth has so clearly come to me this week, I see myself as an unwitting mystic, and I am mostly grateful. (LOL)
I have a family member who has not demonstrated good money managing skills. He recently inherited a sum of money rather large for his standard of life. Within a couple of weeks, many thousands of dollars were gone. Mostly, he was able to justify the spending choices he made, such as paying delinquent debts. However, undeniably still financially vulnerable moving forward, he agreed to go to a financial counselor at a local bank to create a workable life plan. I offered to go with him. That happened. I left the bank with three hundred dollars (cash) to hang on to for him for an upcoming trip.
Three days later, he called asking me for some of that money.
“What do you need the money for?” I asked. I agreed what he was asking funds for was a legitimate expense, but based on the meeting at the bank, I also knew he had earned some money two days previously. “You did a job two days ago. Where is that money?”
“I bought an exercise bike. I have wanted one for a long time.” His response set off a reaction in me. I was launched into a conditioned pattern: I expressed my disappointment in his choice and clarified what he had agreed to. He also launched into a conditioned pattern: He justified his behavior and claimed his freedom to choose.
The light went on!
This interaction was perfect given my soul’s intention: I choose to trust life. I choose to see others as capable. I choose to remember we learn by what works and by what does not work. I choose to love, forgive, and enhance my awareness. The conditioned life is not Divine Love!
The previous night I had heard Mary Reed, author of Unwitting Mystic, speak about the history of our conditioned life. We have all lived in fear. We have all tried to control other people’s behavior under the guise of protecting them. Mary lifts up the true nature of unconditional love. She said the most significant question each of us makes is whether or not we are willing to move beyond the conditioning so we can enjoy that.
It cannot be that one individual can become enlightened and nothing else be changed. I know we are all a part of the collective. My consciousness matters. A few hours before his phone call asking for the money, I had written in my journal about my own willingness to release conditioning and live unconditional love.
This encounter with him about the money worked perfectly as a test to my willingness. Could I in these circumstances honor my own experience without focus on him and what he did? With some breathing, and some clarifying of my own sacred intention, that soon was happening.
I sent him a text message: “I apologize for expressing disagreement with your choices for your life. It really is not any of my business. I appreciate the opportunity to more deeply choose to live in unconditional love…”
Even so, my mind ruminated about these events before finding a landing place more free of judgment of both of us.
In her talk, Mary gave an example of how fear and judgment and anger and blame and frustration function like a thread between us that gets all wound up. As we move around, telling others about the events of our lives, we are bound up in ancient conflict energy. She says you can earnestly go within and own everything you feel and get to a place of forgiveness of yourself (the way you have seen things, and your actions). As you bask in this forgiveness of yourself, that thread of conflict energy begins to fall away from you. As it falls away from you, it must also fall away from the other because you are not feeding this conditioned state.
Mary has spent time with the Dalai Lama. If you would be blessed by listening, you will find her story very riveting. After taking 97 prescription pills in a suicide attempt and waking up two days later, Mary surrendered her ego. She has lived some pretty intense experiences on her road to mysticism. Appreciating my own gentler path of reading and studying and learning from others experiences…
