Turn Down That Alarm

I was tagged in a Facebook post. Words I had shared had been carried around and then laminated, and framed.

The words were:
KNOW WHAT YOU FEAR.
AND WHAT YOU DESIRE.
SURRENDER THAT TO THE HIGHEST GOOD.
LET GO OF OUTCOME.

I soooooo needed to hear those words myself right now.

Amanda Gorman, a 22-year-old poet, read an original work “The Hill We Climb” at President Joe Biden’s inauguration on Jan. 20, 2021.

From her reflection about how she almost declined to be the inaugural poet:

But though our fears may be the same, we are not. If nothing else, this must be known: Even as we’ve grieved, we’ve grown; even fatigued we’ve found that this hill we climb is one we must mount together. We are battered, but bolder; worn, but wiser. I’m not telling you to not be tired or afraid. If anything, the very fact that we’re weary means we are, by definition, changed; we are brave enough to listen to, and learn from, our fear. This time will be different because this time we’ll be different. We already are.

And yes, I still am terrified every day. Yet fear can be love trying its best in the dark. So do not fear your fear. Own it. Free it.

The following exchange took place between Barbara Brodsky and myself, in the chain of email messages about Amanda Gorman’s comments about fear.

Barbara wrote about her own process of caring for her husband the past 4 years following his stroke. “The almost daily crisis of one sort or another…. higher BP, tension held long-term in my body…. the side effects of that tension (mind less clear, less able to sleep, living always on crisis mode, almost like PTSD….”

I wrote to Barbara:

Oh, Barbara, your words express my experience! And this is with things going well! Each moment (for both John and me) is PRODUCING compassion. I have greater compassion for your process with Hal through this.

I had awareness yesterday doing yoga of how much I had not given credit to my yoga instructor. Her husband passed just before Covid and she was in lockdown during the throes of her grief. She had cared for him for 13 years….

I am not alone in this…. I think of Ellen Hummel navigating all she is.

I have too much awareness to feel sorry for myself or take this personally, but it is HARD.

I feel the tears coming now. Just saying that is kindness.

Nothing operates in a vacuum. “This” stress is not isolated from the tension of navigating political differences over the past 15 years.

It is not isolated from the stress of having Covid when John’s brother suffered the abdominal aortic aneurysm, and passed. Not isolated from packing my family home at age 10.

But — and this is a huge BUT, I see gifts in all of it.

Someone said we can act ourselves into right thinking easier than we can think ourselves into right acting.

Barely an hour goes by that something has not triggered that high alarm. I am getting ready right now to go get my Covid booster. John and I were scheduled to get them the day he ended up in the hospital.

KNOW WHAT YOU FEAR.

I know what I fear. I fear having a reaction because I had Delta Variant. I fear getting sick and not being able to take care of John.

AND WHAT YOU DESIRE.

I know what I desire. I desire having the best chance to not get seriously ill from Covid. I desire feeling well enough to be a helpmate for John. I desire feeling safe in my body.

Nothing operates in isolation from everything.

SURRENDER THAT TO THE HIGHEST GOOD.

Feeling safe in my body now releases all the times in the past when I did not and teaches others to do the same.

LET GO OF OUTCOME.

If you are interested in the “FEEL SAFE IN YOUR BODY” tapping wisdom with Nick Ortner, let me know.

As that alarm is turned down, it is replaced with love and with peace. Notice how that expands.

I’ve learned so much from all of this….

As hope expands, as love expands, as gratitude expands, notice how it turns down that alarm.

Peace is only a word until it lives in your body.

Turn down that alarm….