Thankful…. and sad

We are feeling sad with the passing of John’s eldest brother, Jerry, shortly before midnight on Friday evening, September, 24, 2021.

The date was already special – grandson Brad and Christina got married exactly five years ago!

This photo of the five Basham brothers was taken at the wedding. Jerry is on the far right. Next to him is Jim. Jim passed from cancer in 2017. Far left is Greg, the youngest. Jack, and John next to Christina. I married into this bunch 55 years ago and I have grown up with the Basham brothers.

After John’s dad passed, Labor Day became a Basham event. It was a way to keep everyone together and for many years the “Labor Day Reunion” was held at the home of Jerry and his wife, Jeanne. Complete with copious amounts of beer, a talent show (I use the term talent loosely) on Sunday night, where the audience could number 50 to 100. Memories of Labor Days gone by are now pressed into our minds like a first kiss.

And this year, Jeanne found Jerry lying on the floor when she got home from the store on Labor Day.

Jerry had an abdominal aortic aneurysm.

Thankful Jerry survived over six hours of surgery.

Thankful he survived a second surgery the following day.

Thankful he was able to be taken off the ventilator, was alert, and asking for family a few mornings later.

Jerry had been experiencing low back pain, and it was getting worse. This summer, he said the pain would be so bad, he “would have to sit down or fall down.” It seems incomprehensible now that no one thought of the possibility of an aneurysm.

Thankful Jerry was making baby steps toward recovery when John and I mustered our post-Covid bodies and traveled to Tennessee for Courtney’s wedding.

Thankful many words of love and encouragement came by text and video wishing Jerry a happy 79th birthday on Tuesday, September 21, 2021.

Tuesday night, Jerry was back in ICU after his condition took a turn for the worse.

Thankful Jeanne and their kids and grandkids were all together with Jerry in the ICU on Wednesday. (This had not been allowed because of Covid risk.)

Thankful Jerry was lucid and expressed his wishes, choosing to receive comfort care only.

Thankful the hospital staff was able to keep Jerry comfortable.

Thankful Jerry was able to receive hospice care in the hospital.

Thankful to know Jerry’s last hours were very peaceful.

Thankful Jerry was a care giver. As his daughter, Lisa, said to me yesterday, “There was nothing you could ask of Jerry that he would say no if it was within his human ability to do it.”

The Daily Word for September 24, 2021 is so Jerry.

Over the years I have given generously of my treasure and shared my time and talents. Giving has blessed me beyond measure and remains an important part of my spiritual life.

But sometimes I resist gifts, deflecting another person’s generosity or rushing to reciprocate. Today I practice receiving with willingness and ease. I realize all gifts derive from God, yet come to me through many channels.

I remember how I feel when my gifts are received gratefully and with happiness, and how it fills my heart to know someone feels cared for and valued. I give that gift to another by letting myself receive with grace and gratitude, completing the circle of sharing and love.

Thankful Jerry has taken such loving care of all of us through this.

As Jerry prepared for the six-hour emergency surgery, he assured his wife and daughter he was not afraid, “If I don’t make it, I will wake up and see Scott. If I make it, I will wake up and see you. Either way, I will be happy.”

Wow….

Fourteen years ago, Jerry and Jeanne lost their son, Scott, at 42 years of age. One of the toughest things a parent can go through, losing a child.

Regular readers of this blog are familiar with the Sacred Stories, and you totally get the “continuity of consciousness.”

I have mentioned Pamela and Alan Johnson, and Supernatural Love and Life After Death (FaceBook).

Yesterday, John went into the laundry room to get some batteries for his earphones. I heard some grumbling sounds and asked what was going on.

“Oh, this shelf fell down,” he said.

I went in to see if I could help. He had gotten the shelf put back up.

As I looked, however, a dowel pin that was holding up the second from the top shelf was laying on the shelf above the one that had fallen. Now, get this picture. These pins go in so tightly, you need a pair of pliers to pull them out. What are the odds that two pins, on two different shelves, would suddenly fall out?

Right….

When we had the second (and more extensive) mold remediation work done here in the tiny house, the cabinets in the laundry room were torn out with the wall. Only the uppers had survived. I had made a detailed drawing and asked Jerry to build a new cabinet. But Covid hit and we all went into lock down.

I knew this was Jerry’s way of communicating to us. It was perfect. What better to get our attention than what he likely considered to be an unfinished project!

A much younger Jim (left) and Jerry (center) and John (right) with a head full of black hair!

Thankful John has had years of practice hearing from family and friends who have passed: Joseph Willmeng; my dad; Jim Sink, to mention just a few.

Thankful we know we are not just these bodies.

Thankful we know love is eternal.

Thankful we are here to remind one another, especially at those times when we feel sad.