The worst terroristattack on a Western city since 9/11 unfolded in France on Friday, leaving the nation in a state of near-martial law.
This text message exchange with a dear friend:
K: Are you watching the news of Paris?
D: No, I just walked in the door from a session. What’s going on?
K: Multiple terrorist attacks on-going. City is in lock down.
D: May all beings come to the end of suffering.
K: Pray hard. I had to stop watching. Every minute more violence is reported.
D: Do you know how to do Tonglen? I just emailed directions.
From Joan Halifax’s handout on Tonglen, sent to my friend:
In order to give no fear, we must first learn to relate with our own suffering—our rage, helplessness, frustration, doubt, bitterness, and fear—instead of pushing it away. Gentle loving-kindness toward ourselves is what it takes to be present for our own suffering. We need to learn to stay with our own suffering without trying to change it or fix it. Only when we are able to be present for our own suffering are we able to be present for the suffering of others.
In January, 2012, I wrote about having done Tonglen after we witnessed my grandson crash his go-kart at over ninety miles per hour at Daytona. (See: Deep Gratitude.)
While this is not the first blog post in which I have mentioned the practice of Tonglen, it might be the most urgent. We must look from a place within that includes suffering but that is bigger than suffering. We must look from a heart that is so big that it is open to everything, including freedom from suffering.
- Begin by breathing in whatever you are feeling—fear, agitation, anger, resistance—and accepting it. On the exhalation breathe out well-being. Clear your mind by bringing awareness to what is agitating you and breathing it in, accepting it with kindness. Then, as you exhale, give yourself some spaciousness. Do this breath practice until you are calm and alert.
- When you feel settled, begin the second stage of the practice, which is establishing a rhythm of breathing. On your inbreath imagine that you are inhaling heavy, hot air. On your outbreath visualize exhaling cool, light air. Continue with this pattern—breathing in heaviness and breathing out lightness—until it is familiar to you. The heaviness is suffering; the lightness is well-being.
- Now imagine that you are breathing through all the pores of your body. On the inbreath heavy, hot air enters every pore. On the outbreath, cool light flows from every pore.
- Now visualize a metal sheath around your heart. This metal sheath is everything about you that is difficult for you to accept: your self-importance, selfishness, self-cherishing, self-pity. It is the band of fear that hardens your heart. The practice invites you to dissolve this metal sheath and open your heart to its natural nonjudgmental state of warmth, kindness, and spaciousness. You can do this by visualizing the metal sheath breaking apart when the inbreath of suffering touches it. When the heart opens, the hot, heavy air vanishes into its vast space. What arises is natural mercy. It is this quality of unarmored heart that allows you to be with suffering and at the same time to see beneath the suffering.
We must stay present with the suffering, bringing the sweet salve of breath to the unthinkable. We can imagine the terror in Paris tonight. Because we can imagine that, we can feel it, and we do not have to add our fear to the situation. By the grace of the divine, let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me…. and you, and you, and you.
