… something timeless and indestructible
within each of us
that can heal us and the world if
we can just open ourselves to it.
~ Mark Nepo
A dear friend was sharing about having recently read about the research into how some individuals meet crisis and trauma in life and come out resilient. Others are beaten or broken or become embittered. Our conversation reminded me of the story about carrots, eggs, and coffee beans.
You may have heard the story of how three
things—a carrot, an egg, and coffee beans—
respond differently to life’s challenges. After
reading this, you may never look at a cup of
coffee (or life) the same way again.
A young woman was complaining to her
mother, saying that life was too hard for her.
Facing what seemed to be an endless stream of
difficulties, she was feeling overwhelmed and
discouraged, and felt like giving up. She went to
her mother and told her about her life and how
things were so hard for her.
Her mother brought her into the kitchen where
she put three pans of water on three burners,
and turned them all on high. As the water
began to boil, in the first she placed carrots, in
the second she placed eggs, and in the last she
placed ground coffee beans. Again, letting life
teach, rather than lecturing her daughter, she let
them sit and boil, without saying a word.
After about twenty minutes or so, she turned off
the burners. She placed the carrots on a plate
next to the eggs, and she poured the coffee
into a cup. She turned to her
daughter and said simply, “Tell
me what you see.”
“I see carrots, eggs, and
coffee,” the daughter replied.
Her mother asked her to
touch the carrots and notice
that they were soft now.
She peeled an egg, showing that it was now
hard-boiled. She let her daughter take a sip of
the coffee. After her daughter asked what that
all meant, the mother wisely pointed out that
while each of these objects had faced the same
adversity—boiling water—each had reacted
differently.
The carrot had gone into the water strong, hard,
and unbending. After being subjected to the
boiling water, it became weak. The egg had
originally been fragile, with just a thin outer
shell protecting the liquid interior. After sitting
through the boiling water, the insides of the
egg had became hardened.
The ground coffee beans were unique, however.
After they were in the boiling water, they had
changed the water. The mother is said to have
asked the daughter, “Which are you?”
It is worth noticing when challenges come your
way, how have you responded? Have you been
like a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean? Were you
like the carrot that seems strong, but with pain
and adversity, or illness or hardship, had you
lost your strength?
Were you like the egg that started with a soft
heart, but changed with the heat? Did you
let an unexpected death, the loss of a job, a
relationship change, or some other difficult
circumstances make you become hard-hearted
or inflexible? Had your shell looked the same,
but on the inside had you been feeling bitter?
We can all be more like the coffee bean.
The alchemy of life happens because the
bean actually changes the hot water, the very
circumstance that brings the pain. It is when the
water gets hot that the coffee bean releases the
fragrance and flavor. As you become more like
the bean, even if at times things seem to be at
their worst, those are times when you can only
get better because you change the way you
look at things and are able to change the
situation around you.
The happiest of people don’t necessarily always
have the best of everything. They just find ways
to make the most of everything that comes
along their way. The brightest future will always
be based on a past that is filled with stepping
stones rather than stumbling blocks. Letting go
of your past failures and heartaches compels you
to push forward with positive intent. Once you
let go of your disappointments, you find yourself
moving forward in life with greater confidence
and competence. Happier people are actually
smarter people.
~ Falling Together in Love: Stories From My Heart for and about YOU
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| To order your copy, visit http://scs-matters.com/products2.shtml. Profound gratitude to Patty Reddy for the magical illustrations and layout! |
