February has long been celebrated as a month of romance, and St. Valentine’s Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition.
A few days ago (asking if we are to pursue having Dr. Deutsch be John’s cardiologist) I drew The Lovers Osho Zen Tarot: It is time to refresh your mind and heart and the pure fragrance can spread.
The idea of a refreshed mind and heart spreading its pure fragrance is somewhat foreign for a lot of us. Much (if not most) of the time, humans live from moment to moment on autopilot. I often observe myself reacting out of habit rather than from awareness and presence of mind.
Nonviolent Communication training evolved from Dr. Marshall B. Rosenberg’s quest to find a way of rapidly disseminating much needed peacemaking skills.
Growing up in an inner–city Detroit neighborhood Dr. Marshall Rosenberg was confronted daily with various forms of violence. Wanting to explore the causes of violence and what could be done to reduce violence, he chose to study clinical psychology and received his Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from the University of Wisconsin in 1961. In 1966 he was awarded diplomat status in clinical psychology from the American Board of Examiners in Professional Psychology. (See About Marshall B. Rosenberg)
Nonviolent communication creates a space for attention and respect in every moment.
This was all very much on my mind as Stacey and I accompanied John on one of his cardio rehab walks a few days ago. We went by one of the neighbors where a big party was happening. Cars and carts, bikes, and people everywhere.
As we went by, Stacey almost touched the guy who lives there. She called out, “I thought you were going to hand me a beer!”
I reacted.
I said I would prefer not to engage the guy who lives there. I asked if she had noticed the 3×5 foot “Come and Take It” flag flying on his golf cart. The flag has a picture of an M4 AR15 machine gun on it.
She said I was judging.
I was.
Nonviolent Communication teaches a lot about being able to observe without judging. The four foundations of NVC are:
Observe without judging. …
Express feelings. …
Express and clarify your needs. …
Express specific requests based on your feelings and needs.
Stacey has a carry permit. She is a staunch “Second Amendment Advocate.” (Her words! She changed it to second-amendment supporter.)
Interestingly, one of the most powerful lessons of life reveals itself for me as Stacey and I are doing jigsaw puzzles together. WE SEE THINGS SO DIFFERENTLY.
Our most recent puzzle demonstrated these differences and the COLLECTIVE strength that grows from them more clearly than any puzzle we have ever done together.
There were some fascinating “odd” shapes.
Very complex, very interrelated, very unique.
It was challenging.
It was very unique in that the pieces did not connect in a traditional way, they would just rest against each other.
Stacey was challenged in the areas that were more landscape in style; I was challenged in the areas where she would say, “This is the cat,” and I was not even aware we had a cat in this puzzle! It would often take a half-dozen pieces to be assembled around a unique piece before it was clear where that piece itself went.
Humans are very complex, very interrelated, and very unique.
I can’t help but dream of our collective humanity being able to raise our consciousness sufficiently that we smooth our rough edges so our pure fragrance can spread….
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