Columbus, Ohio, August 1982, “Little Surrenders,”, Step By Step
My former Yellow Brick Road post ended on a high note, but the circumstances around COVID-19 are stimulating a roller coaster of emotions for most of us.
The evening after I baked and delivered cookies, John and I saw Louie, one of the guys from shuffleboard. Louie said, “You think about it like ‘I have the virus’ and you’ll do the right thing.”
Having seen the stability chart of this virus, I was awake in the middle of the night, writing in my journal, “If I knew I had the virus would I have baked the cookies and delivered them to people I love?”
Later that morning, I shared my concern and remorse with Nancy, a recipient of oatmeal raisin cookies, who brought me to tears with her response, “If I were to die from an infected cookie, I would die with gratitude for the savoring of it.”
If I were ever to get a tatoo, mine would be: UNPRECIDENTED.
Every action has myriad thought, word, and deed.
The better consciousness in me lifts me into a world where there is no longer personality and causality or subject or object.
~ Arthur Schopenhauer (1788—1860), known as the first German philosopher to incorporate Eastern thought into his writings
I notice how many individual lives seem to have been lined up with our collective (global) experience. My belief is that has been/is true for EVERY individual life, but some examples are totally obvious.
One friend moved to another state for family support as they hoped to have a baby. They gave birth to Athena in February, and are now safe sheltering alone. Amazingly, this couple mindfully allowed their daughter to choose her own name. Athena means: One who is wise. Athena is the goddess of war and wisdom. The name is associated with the “lucky number” of four. 2020 equals four in simple numerology….
Late last fall, one couple got their finances in order by closing out high-interest credit cards and consolidating to a family run bank with reasonable interest, and no risk of foreclosure.
The husband of a dear friend passed in late January. He had been receiving hospice care at home, and it would have been so much more stressful for her to still be trying to care for him. Thankfully, she had some time to adjust to living alone before the order to stay in place came down.
Our daughter, Stacey, and her husband, Doug, would have had a very drastic life-style change if they had not been living on their sailboat since October. We saw them on Facetime briefly yesterday and they are content, and appreciating the sun shade Doug just put up over their deck.
My anxiety level is increased because (as of the moment of this writing) we do not yet know if our house is Michigan is ready for us to return, or if the team that has been doing the mold remediation will be allowed to finish. This fear around “home” is a childhood pattern for me and I am doing my best to comfort the frightened feelings and remind myself I am safe. We will get through this.
It takes a lot to navigate these situations, but we do know they are impermanent.
From this morning’s journal: You have so little to do now. I would want you to be easy with yourselves, and truly be easily delighted, Soften up…. Be sure you are calling on the light in your heart. That is truly your HOME.
And these words from Aaron, “Each of you, as you find compassion for your own fear and negativity, will intuitively understand how to bring that compassion out in the world so as to say no to those who hoard, those who manipulate, those who turn their backs on others’ suffering. You say no with love. Acting from fear has nothing to do with how much wealth or power you have, it has to do with the level of consciousness.”
P.S. Here is the face of Barbara Brodsky, my beloved teacher and friend, from last night’s ZOOM class. She is such a role model!
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