By Debra Basham, on February 5, 2014
Miles are covered one inch at a time.
I believe our birth story (you may have heard tales of your coming into this life) reveals significant threads of your soul purpose—your particular gifts, and your challenges. When I am interviewing a new client I often ask what he or she knows about his or her birth. Some stories are exciting, like “I was born in the back seat of a cab.” Some are frightening: “I was so black my dad thought they were showing him the wrong baby because he thought the baby he was looking at was not Caucasian.” Some birth stories are quite detailed and others are really a question mark, such as with an adoption.
I remember having heard my mom say she had gotten very stressed out by the other women in the labor ward (now there is a term most young mothers will not even recognize) and her labor “stopped.” I am musing about how that might relate to my patience, or lack there of.
I have been watching this snail on the wall of the carport. I wonder what he (she?) thinks about all day and whether or not it is frustrating to cover the same ground over and over again so slowly one can barely perceive any movement at all. In some ways, that reminds me of the nature of the soul.
It has been said that the nature of the soul is cyclical. It seems as though we are covering the same ground but we are actually coming around again from a different point. You can see that movement in the revolution of the sun, or the moon, or the seasons. Spring always follows winter…
I have been working for over three weeks to get our first audi onto CD Baby so it will be available through webstores like iTunes and Amazon.com. It took me three full days to fill out the application. It seems to be the littlest things that can cause a hang up. I did not remember the password to the new bank account number, so I got locked out of the account and had to wait until business hours the next day. I tried for two days to upload the album cover image. Sorry, I do not know about pixels and resolution. The list goes on and on.
Today, I will be more patient. I will focus on the bigger picture and be grateful for the ability to learn new things. I will appreciate that someone at Google does know how to get my gmail messages to come into my iPhone. Yes, it was working before it wasn’t.
I will not cry so easily thinking I am a failure because I am having tech-no-logical challenges. I will celebrate the wonderful young woman I met recently who sent a text saying, “You know what? I just noticed I have not pulled in days! And I’ve been in great moods that have literally been putting my other friends in good moods.”
Today I will celebrate that although my mom said her labor stopped, it obviously started again because I am here. Perhaps my gmail will simply start again, too…
By Debra Basham, on January 29, 2014
Although the act of nurturing another’s spiritual growth
has the effect of nurturing one’s own,
a major characteristic of genuine love is that
the distinction between oneself and the other
is always maintained and preserved.
–M. Scott Peck. M.D.
Peck’s words have me pondering the mysterious dichotomy of our being separate, unique, individual selves, who are simultaneously ONE. All of the mystics write and teach about our oneness. We have a distant sense of knowing of that.
Perhaps it is the way we have 10 fingers and 10 toes, a heart, two legs—all separate, unique, individual body parts, simultaneously ONE body.
I recall an experience years ago. I was snuggled into bed with John (my husband). My fingers were moving almost automatically down his forearm. For an instant, I was not touching his arm. I was touching the arm of our beloved grandson, Brad.
Whatever this “self” is, it is at once both separate and not.
“Debra the Demented” was written on Saturday 18 December 1999.
I stand quivering before the leap out of myself and into mySelf!
It is as though I am perched above life itself and I can see out over the horizon in all directions… feelings unfold before me to my left and to my right…. each has a life of it’s own, yet has no life at all….
The years stretch beyond years and yet fall into nothingness…. as all moments become one…
Laughter belches up within me and dares to give voice with no thought to the shame that might follow…. and silence sucks the breath out of me and leaves me for dead…. only to be once more drawn from the ashes…
If this is an awakening, then I must be mad… and if it is not, then surely I am. I long to write, to give words to this depth… to let the dance dance me… to let the song sing me… to let the death die upon my breast.
Can one lose oneself? Can one go to sleep and never wake up? Can the madness rule the house of one’s soul forever? Or can there be nothing but this endless mirage of life moving one in spite of one’s willingness or resistance?
I am a willing eagle. I am a willing frog. I am a willing birch and blade. I will allow the music to blow through my boughs and I shall throw my head back and laugh once more until the tears take over and then I shall begin again and again and again…
I lift my cup to my lips and say yes to life!
By Debra Basham, on January 27, 2014
“Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage.
Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love.”
― Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet
These very meaningful words came to me today from a poet and novelist born 4 December 1875. Rainer Maria Rilke is what the world would call long dead, having died 29 December 1926. I agree with the words to the hymn: ask me how I know he lives, he lives within my heart. Today Rilke lives inside my heart.
I have been working on a writing project over the past several weeks. In practical terms, I have not yet hit my stride. The theme of the writing is my traumatic trip to Europe in October 2011. I have known the tale needs to be told, but the telling is not easy, and yesterday I got some harsh feedback about the writing I have done so far. I was told it reads like a travelogue: “I went here. I saw this. I did that.”
“Where is the emotion?” one of my fellow writers asked. “Are you hiding something too painful to look at?”
Most people who know me well, would agree I am no stranger to emotion. I have cried over a shrub carelessly tossed by the side of the road after having been ripped from its home along the side of the driveway, making room to park another car. I have cried myself to sleep over circumstances my ears will never hear of.
It has taken me twenty-seven months to be willing to look at my experience in Europe, put pen to paper, and begin to share it with you. I am thankful that today Letters to a Young Poet give me the courage to face that fire-breathing dragon within. I am grateful to know that this chapter of my history wants only my love….
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| Flowers growing along the path at the Montsegur Monument. |
By Debra Basham, on January 20, 2014
Recently we received a copy of Don’t Retire, Rewire! It is amazing that some people really do not enjoy retirement. Jeri Sedlar and Rick Miners write about the new trend of “working retirement” as an opportunity for finding fulfilling work, passion, and life after you leave your full-time career.
I have been meeting with a couple of writers’ groups. One writer gave me his card with this on the back: Retired: No business. No plans. No worries. No money. No future. Too healthy to beg. Too old to steal. Too lazy to work. Ain’t got much. Don’t want anything. Ain’t mad at nobody. Ain’t running for nothing. Waiting for the third of the month.
I have started writing about my experiences in Europe in 2011. As part of that writing process, I have been reading How to Write a Book that Sells You, by Robin Colucci. The author is a writing coach, and while some of the questions she poses really are only about writing a book, this set of questions seems quite thought provoking and appropriate for every person to reflect on.
How do you want to spend your time?
Do you want to work a lot or a little?
Do you want to work with individuals or groups? Large groups or small?
Do you want to travel or stay put?
Where do you want to live?
Do you want to go off for long periods of solitude and self-reflection, or are you a constant networker?
How many months out of the year do you want to work? Which ones?
I attended a workshop by Robert Allen Fahey, who calls himself a psychic medium. He says his work is similar to John Edward, host of TV’s Crossing Over. I have met other people who do this sort of work, but Robert said something that I had not previously heard anyone else say. He said that those on the other side think they are the ones who are living and that we are the ones who are dead.
Whatever you think about people who do this work—about Robert or about John—it is worth reflecting on what it is that gives life to your life.
“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.” — John Lennon
Whether you are near retirement, just entering the workforce, already retired, or anywhere along the path of life, how would you answer these questions? Move beyond the forces of fear. Notice what allows you to be motivated only by love. Make 2014 a year of open-hearted vision.
By Debra Basham, on January 10, 2014
The gift of our serving others also blesses us. A teacher/friend of mine said our service also serves us. We are not talking about tit-for-tat. What we receive does not always come from the source to which we had given. I remember an experience I had about all of this a number of years ago, over a Labor Day weekend.
I had a wedding and a private consultation scheduled. On Thursday of that week I got a call that the wedding had been cancelled. On Friday, I also got a call cancelling the session. I hated to lose the income, but you do your best to be intentional about soulful living and so I noticed the thought, “I wonder what my time is being opened up for.”
Early Tuesday morning I was sitting in my living room—still in my nightgown—enjoying a cup of tea and some time for reflection. Our windows were open, and a gentle breeze of late summer air was filtering in with the quiet. Everything I was experiencing was busy easing my senses when I thought I heard someone calling my name.
Leaning into the sound, again I heard, “Debra…” almost a moan.
It seemed to be coming from the kitchen, so I got up to go look out into our backyard. I saw a friend of ours who stored her jet-ski trailer on our property. She was hunched over on the ground calling out my name!
Still in my nightclothes, I flew out the door and over to her. As I approached, I could see her left hand lying lifelessly in the palm of her right. No small amount of blood was oozing out of one finger, and when I looked more closely you could not avoid seeing the bone. The weight of the trailer had gotten away from her, and her hand had been crushed between the ball on the hitch and the door of our utility barn.
I quickly shut off her car, grabbed her purse, and helped her into my van. I hurriedly pulled on some sweats when I ran into the house to get my keys and rushed her to the hospital. She had no family in our town, so I stayed with her in the emergency room. When they took her into surgery, I was allowed to gown up and be with her throughout the procedure. As they worked to repair her mangled finger, I was calmly doing Healing Touch™. The surgeon said to me, “If I ever needed to have surgery, I would love to have you there with me.”
When my friend was out of post-op and settled into her hospital room, I did more energy work with her, and she slipped into a restful sleep. I was thinking about the privilege of having been there for her as I drove home.
Checking phone messages, I discovered while at the hospital working with my friend, I received a call from an area church asking me to speak. The speaker’s fee was exactly the same dollar amount as the wedding and the consultation would have been!
Having spent my day of service in a way I could not have even imagined, I mused about the way “As you give, so shall you receive.”
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| (From Osho Transformational Tarot) |
By Debra Basham, on January 5, 2014
It is truly amazing how the awareness you most need is being demonstrated to you over and over and over. This must be what is meant by the truth that we live in a failsafe universe.
I was driving my grandson Brad to the airport to pick up a rental car. We had Gabby II (the Garmin) programmed in with the address we got off the internet. As we approached, I was cautiously watching for the place to turn in, when he said to me, “It will save you a lot of stress if you delay being concerned about things. I learned that from pizza delivery work. You can always turn around.”
I felt a catch in my throat as a few tears formed in my eyes. How many times have I wasted my peace of mind living as though every thought, word, or deed was life or death?
Suddenly, my mind flashed back to another time I was driving to an airport with Brad in the car. I was in Tennessee, he was five, his mom was going into labor for his brother, and I was going to pick up his Grandpa. That was in the days before we had a GPS, so I had hand-written directions. My vehicle was off the side of the road, overhead light turned on, reading about where I needed to go.
“Gammie….You are doing it all wrong. You are wasting time. Use your eyes. It is right there.”
He was motioning out the windshield, showing me the airplanes landing and taking off. At a mere five years of age, he knew where the airport was because he was paying attention!
I shared that story with him as we proceeded to our current destination. We mused about how he knows he had that sense and now that he has graduated college with his Master’s Degree, he wants to walk across the country and/or move to a place he has never been. He says he wants to make his way without depending on his previous reputation. I am sure he is aware that where ever he goes, there he will be….
We found the street, followed the Enterprise signs, drove over those nasty tire-puncturing contraptions to make sure you only drive one way, and soon found ourselves in a parking garage along with dozens of returned rental cars. My van was alongside vehicles about three across and ten deep—all of them with no drivers, having been dropped off by those hurrying to catch a flight.
Brad got out and headed into the building to find the counter to pick up his car. More cars came in, now dozens behind me as well as in front of me. Remembering the conversation we had just shared, I fought the urge to panic.
Wearing an official-looking vest, a guy I presumed to be an Enterprise employee jumped into and drove away a car two lanes over, creating a narrow opening for me to squeeze out. Going the wrong-way along the arrows, I knew I was heading toward the tire torture contraption!
Just as I emerged back out into the sunlight, I saw what may or may not have also been an Enterprise employee. I waved and called out to him saying that I had gotten in there by mistake while dropping someone off to pick up a car, and I needed to get out. He said, “Hurry! Go this wrong way quickly, and get over there, and then follow the exit signs!”
Twisting and turning, I eventually came to an attendant who opened a gate and I was soon out on the road. I asked Siri to “call Brad mobile” and told him I was out and heading back to the house. We had planned to drive him to the airport, but at the last minute chose to rent a car so he could drive himself. As an aside, he was so excited to get a cute little red Fiat 500!
Even when you can’t literally turn around and go back exactly the same way you came, you can relax and enjoy a bit of patience and persistence and watch how things do have a way of working out….
By Debra Basham, on December 25, 2013
Neale Donald Walsch wrote on Christmas Day,
I believe God wants you to knowthat
the reason so much of humanity commemorates
this day is that so much of
humanity seeks to give and receive love.
During this holy time, know that all times are holy,
That every religion holds truth,
that each tradition is sacred,
and that it is in the simple sharing of love that
we make our beliefs come alive, and our dreams come true.
Years ago, I was so into Christmas that I had four trees in our house. We had the main tree in the family room, a smaller table-top tree in the living room, a four-foot Victorian style tree in our master bedroom, and a 3 foot tree in our daughter’s bedroom. In the main bath the shower curtain was swapped out for a Christmas motif, the toilet seat cover had Santa on it, and even the tissue box was in the style of a gingerbread house.
Shopping and wrapping and baking occupied every free waking moment for weeks and weeks….
What a welcome contrast to now hold the awareness of this season as one about giving and receiving love.
Do you notice how much more considerate drivers can be as the hustle and bustle reaches a fever pitch?
What about those who buy for a Christmas family, have a tree planted in a national forest, or provide chicks or sheep through Heifer International?
Over the past many years, as I have found myself on a much more inner journey, I can see it all with appreciation. I appreciate those who are true to what has heart and meaning for them. While out doing the last-minute shopping for stocking stuffers with my daughter, it was tender to remember all with love.
I remember the Christmas plays at school, the candlelight services at church, the family dinners at with my mom and dad and sisters and our kids. I remember the Christmas when I was five. My dad’s boss provided our Christmas of previously-loved toys.
All these memories are precious gifts. Nothing bought or wrapped or delivered compares. Faith, hope, and love—the greatest of these is love.
As Neale Donald Walsch finishes his message for the day:
Let this Christmas Day remind us that Christ came to
invite us to offer love to all humankind, and to
open the door of God’s kingdom to every soul.
Merry Christmas, everyone.
By Debra Basham, on December 18, 2013
No matter how long the room has been dark,
an hour or a million years,
the moment the lamp of awareness is lit the entire room becomes luminous.
You are that luminosity.
You are that clear light.
-Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche
Time passes, and we view each new moment through the moments we have lived. Painful moments, joyful moments, busy moments, leisured moments. As a passenger on a train ride, we are watching the landscape out the window. We see the fields and the towns. We hear the call of the owl and watch the autumn leaves fall. Through it all, we are more than what we see or say or feel or know.
Today the sun was shining, then it wasn’t.
Today it was snowing and blowing and the roads were coated with ice.
Then they weren’t.
Tonight the moon was big and bright, and now it isn’t.
While everything outer waxes and wanes, you are that unchanging luminosity.
You are that clear light.
Tonight I am thankful.
Tomorrow I will recall today.
From Awakened by Stirrings:
Will we come to our senses and honor the will of the creator? “The greatest of these is love.” There is no way to know where we are going. We must move into the darkness of the preconceived ideas and from the very center of the soul weave together the threads of bodies, minds, and spirit.
Never again shall we walk this way. We must not look back, for fear will surely grab us and yank us into denial. We must let our heart guide us where our minds would not dare to let us go… Thereby we will find a way to invite others to join… Where all will remember that we were made to be free!
By Debra Basham, on December 7, 2013
Yesterday we received our first Christmas card, from Glenda Norris. Glenda goes all out, shopping, decorating, and celebrating life. The image on the card is a very lovely owl, and the quotation by William Shakespeare is equally lovely: One touch of nature makes the whole world kin. The card is from the Arbor Day Foundation, and the inscription reads, “In your name, a tree is being planted in one of our National Forests.” What a beautiful, thoughtful, insightful gift.
I was pondering this relationship humans have with nature when I read some excerpts from Listening to Your Inner Voice, by Douglas Bloch. Bloch writes about a young minister complimenting a farmer, saying that God had blessed him with an incredible piece of land. The farmer is said to have replied, “Yes, but you should have seen the mess it was when God had it to Himself!”
It appears to be quite obvious that life works best when we work with the divine.
This past summer I spent four weekends in an experiential workshop on how you can activate and maintain higher states of consciousness. Why is this significant for all? We are partners in the vision and creation of our world.
Last weekend while we were enjoying the Thanksgiving holiday with our family in Tennessee, my older grandson, Brad, stopped by his mom’s. On TV was a “reality show” about extreme couponing. I had never seen such a thing, and was appalled at the garage full of stuff, wondering why one would want 30 years supply of toothpaste. An extra tube, yes, but hundreds?
In about ten minutes of watching, Brad had an inspiration to fill food pantries with staples and stock home shelters with toiletries—with absolutely no cash outlay! He could form a not-for-profit program that trained volunteers how to use the process, and suddenly extreme couponing moved from excessive hording to a practical service to humanity.
As I was working on this blog, Joel sent a link for one of the most popular TEDTalks of all time, Simon Sinekspeaking about great leadership. Using Apple™ and Martin Luther King, Jr. as examples of great leaders, Simon describes the common threads of the most inspired and inspiring individuals or organizations. He says, “People don’t by what you do, they buy why you do it.”
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| The image on the card is a very lovely owl, and the quotation by William Shakespeare is equally lovely: |
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I may not ever know for sure exactly why Glenda invested her money to plant a tree in a National Forest in our name, but as Simon Sinek says, “The goal is not to do business with everybody who needs what you have, the goal is to do business with people who believe what you believe.”
Obviously, Glenda and I believe what William believes…
By Debra Basham, on November 30, 2013
No one has ever become poor by giving. ~ Anne Frank
Thanksgiving Day 2013 did not unfold exactly as we expected, but there certainly was plenty to be thankful for. Late Wednesday afternoon, we found out that the family member we had expected to be hosting our traditional feast had been in the hospital with kidney stones. Fortunately, a stop at the store on the way home from work by my son-in-love, Doug, produced a turkey and the makings for dressing.
Thursday morning started early, as we participated in Borodash (a fundraiser walk/run). It was a brisk 19 degrees when our warm hearts gathered at the start line with a dozen or more of our family members, including all of our grandones! Imagine walkers and runners—some clad as pilgrims, others as Indian maidens, and a wide variety of turkey hats!
Besides the sheer joy of being alive and spending time together, a highlight of the event was waiting to welcome the last walker across the finish line, a veteran who had one leg. It is hard to feel anything but blessed when you see how much some people are able to do with their lives, in spite of challenges along the way.
So after the Borodash and breakfast at Cracker Barrel, we headed to the house to begin preparing our Thanksgiving meal. We began slicing apples and making preparations to get the pie into the oven. We had planned to take the famous Dutch apple pie—using a recipe cobbled together by my daughter, Stacey, following the death of her Grandma Smith. This year (hoping to move closer to the desired results of my mom’s pie), I brought a different recipe with me.
We realized we did not have any cornstarch. The Publix around the corner was closed so their employees (including our grandson, Adam) could enjoy Thanksgiving with their families. Walmart is quite a bit farther away, and likely would have been filled with shoppers getting a head-start on the Black Friday specials. The apple slices were already turning brown (and we were waiting for the pie to come out of the oven for the turkey to go in).
Only needing ¼ cup of cornstarch, I sent my daughter (Stacey), and husband (John), and granddogger (Baxter), out to knock on neighbor’s doors. The first few houses, no one answered the door. The next house is occupied by a Hispanic family. The parents’ English would best be described as little-to-none. The young daughter tried unsuccessfully to translate. With the dad on his hands and knees mopping the kitchen floor in preparation for their own guests, the family graciously invited Stacey in, opened all their cupboards for her to look for what she needed. Even so, she returned without any cornstarch.
We were in the process of trying to make substitutions, when we heard a knock on the door. The young girl and her younger brother were standing there, having been sent over with a container of what turned out to be flour. Stacey told them she had flour, but thanked them for trying.
A few minutes later, another knock on the door, and they had returned with this box!
As Stacey and I took out the needed amount, thanked them, and turned back to the preparations of the pie, I was choking back tears thinking of loving and generous hearts that would motivate you to go to that extent to help someone. I was reminded of the stories of Jesus about going the extra mile.
I may never know the details of the conversations between this young girl and her family, but I will always remember the unexpected gifts of this Thanksgiving Day.
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