By Debra Basham, on October 3, 2017 Tears were right on the surface for me today.
“I know where I was 51 years ago today! Happy birthday to our sweetest darling,” I sent email to our daughter.
“Thanks for keeping me!!!!!” she responded.
I quickly wrote back:
That made me cry….
You were not a planned pregnancy, but you were a totally wanted baby. We were madly in love with each other and madly in love with you.
You are the joy of our lives.
And a truly remarkable (and HOT) woman.
And an amazing mom.
And an inspiration.
These are just a few of the things that are true about your magnificence!
She also quickly wrote back: “LOL – now we are both crying! Well, being loved so much, unconditionally, your unending support, and your amazing example is how I am the woman I am today. How could I be anything but remarkable, hot, amazing, inspirational and magnificent when I come from parents that are remarkable, hot, amazing, inspirational and magnificent!!! I love you both so very much!!!!!”
My day did not go as I had expected. I did not get out for a bike ride and I did not make it to Sangha or to see the film “Rooted in Peace.” Instead, I drove my nephew (out on parole just 32 days) to a Men’s Mission in another county.
On the drive emotions were tense. We did not know if the Mission would accept him because he had no proof that he had been a county resident for at least 30 days. Calls to his parole officer; calls to the Mission; more calls to the parole officer; and even more calls to the Mission.
Google Maps first delivered us to the women’s shelter. They gave us the address for the Men’s Mission.
Then Google Maps took us to a senior facility. Explaining that we were trying to find the Men’s Mission, a woman with kind eyes and a soft voice said, “I don’t know how the GPS got you here, we are not even on River Street, we are on State Street.”
Another woman—a colleague of some sort—stopped and got a map for us and gave us directions to the Mission. Then the two of them brainstormed other possible resources, the one woman taking time by providing addresses and phone numbers.
Someone at 70×7 Life Recovery answered the phone, made a call to the Men’s Mission, and got my nephew into the Mission for the night!
Every moment men and women all around the planet face overwhelming odds to put their lives back together. Certainly families in Las Vegas will be doing that following the mass shooting. Those who have lost their homes and businesses in the recent hurricanes will be doing that. Mothers whose children and wives whose husbands have recently passed will be doing that.
“You are just in time for dinner,” my nephew was told upon arrival at the Mission. We declined a sincere offer for us to join them for dinner, needing to get back home.
Leaving my nephew at the Mission, we drove again in search of some “cabins” that rent for a weekly amount. His parole officer had told him about them and we had missed the dirt road when we looked for the earlier. This time we spotted the row of mail boxes. A thin, fragile, woman stood in front of them, with extremely poor dental hygiene, but she was willing to answer our questions. “Are you a resident here? Is this the place that rents by the week? Do you know if there are any vacancies? Do you have a stove and a fridge? A bed? (She said you have to furnish your own bed.) Do you know the number we can call?” She did not know the number.
I spotted a sign with the number to call about rentals at the end of the drive on the side of the building. “We can pull in and get the number,” I told her.
“I can give the number to you. I can see it from here.” She read the number to me, making sure I had written it down correctly.
Today was a day with thoughts of resilience. I found these words online:
Resilience is that ineffable quality that allows some people to be knocked down by life and come back stronger than ever. Rather than letting failure overcome them and drain their resolve, they find a way to rise from the ashes. Psychologists have identified some of the factors that make someone resilient, among them a positive attitude, optimism, the ability to regulate emotions, and the ability to see failure as a form of helpful feedback. Even after misfortune, resilient people are blessed with such an outlook that they are able to change course and soldier on.
That ability to regulate our emotions is a very big deal. I choked back tears as I thanked the woman with almost no teeth but very good vision and we slowly drove through allowing me to take a couple of photos of the modest cabins. I don’t know if my nephew will live there. Thinking about that possibility seems at once both tragic and triumphant.
I wonder what someone could do with that amazing vision. Perhaps she could read to the blind.
Profound gratitude for those who make a place for men and women who find themselves homeless washed over and over me.
I told my nephew perhaps he will come to work at a Mission someday.
For sure, today, we had much to be thankful for. Even Google Maps sending us somewhere other than where we thought we were headed so we could end up getting there….
WE HELP OTHERS OVERCOME
One Story. One Relationship. One Day at a Time.
70×7 Life Recovery provides the tools to assist those in the addiction recovery process. If you are re-entering society from a life of incarceration – you are recovering your life — you are starting over. If you are looking for a place to find freedom from drugs, alcohol and other addictive habits — you are starting over. 70×7 Life Recovery works with individuals in letting go of the prison or addict mentality.
Our Mission is to restore Dignity, Purpose and Hope to a recovery community one Relationship at a time.
By Debra Basham, on September 25, 2017
Today, I will stop straining to know what I don’t know.
To see what I can’t see.
To understand what I don’t yet understand.
I will trust that being is sufficient,
And I will let go of my need to figure things out.
The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
My heart and mind is so full my fingers must dance around the keyboard so I can sit in my skin. Sometimes you see life’s unfolding right before your eyes as has been my experience in spades the past couple of days.
I had been invited to join a friend in Sunday’s Apple Cider Century bike ride. We have done it together before and had a great time but it was forecast to be very hot for September in Michigan. I thought that was why I was iffy about whether I was to go.
Saturday evening I got word about a close friend who was in the hospital in another city following back surgery. She had been doing quite well but ended up having back spasms that they could not mitigate. “This would be a good time for a visit,” was the text message from her fiancé. She was experiencing inconsolable pain when I arrived. This is the same friend who was my advocate and healer when I had surgery in November 2012. It was an honor and a horror to be there with her. And I was not alone.
Our now mutual friend met me there at the hospital. It was Doris who introduced me to Healing Touch back in the nineties. I choked back the emotion as I began doing the work. What a sacred circle of love we are….
Thankfully, a whiff of relief came from the combination of medical intervention, energy healing, and grace. Several hours later, she was settled back in bed, her fiancé was with her, so I headed home. Another text from him popped in as I was driving, “She is sleeping soundly now.”
Before going to bed I sent a my friend a text message saying I was just now home and so I would not be joining her on the bike ride the next morning.
Sunday morning at 9 am I received a text message from my sister in Texas asking if this was a good time for her to call me. I have not spoken to her in decades…. I told her it was a perfect time for her to call. She was sharing a health situation she has been navigating because it might have an impact on my sister and me and our daughters. She had undergone surgery about 8 weeks ago. Is it a coincidence about that same time I was feeling the need to go to Texas to see her?
We talked for an hour. It felt like no time had passed. In our heartfelt sharing the chasm of religiosity that had been a greater distance between us than the miles from Michigan to Texas dissipated like a bubble when it pops.
If I had been on the bike ride I would not have been available for that call.
After we hung up I sent her this photo that is hanging on my wall here in the tiny house.
Divine connections revealing themselves….
By Debra Basham, on September 16, 2017 Affirmations:
I do not know what is the truth for you.
I know what is mine to know in each moment.
I trust in my inner guidance to guide me to what is best for me.
I easily forgive and release what is no longer the best for me.
Betty Lue’s Loving Reminders
“What do you think about Mediums?” she asked.
She had come along with her husband who was helping my husband build a new porch.
“I love them,” I replied. “Why do you ask?”
She went on to share about her niece having recently received a message from Theresa Caputo, the Long Island Medium. The niece was not a believer, but she knew beyond a doubt the message had come from her mother to offer her support and encouragement.
As the other two women arrived, I whispered, “This conversation probably is best finished now because Marge (not her real name) would likely not be comfortable with the subject.” I knew Marge had a very different world view.
We all pulled up bar stools around the island in our tiny kitchen. I poured ice water and put some chips and homemade chocolate chip cookies on the counter and stirred the sloppy joes on the stove. Soon the first woman began telling the story about the Long Island Medium’s message to her niece, and before I knew it I was also telling about the time my client blurted out, “So you are the woman with the green fairy hanging above the table!” A medium had told her about a woman with a green fairy hanging above her table.
I could tell this did not sit well with Marge. She actually got up and walked away as I shared how the medium my client had visited lived a normal life in her community but would travel to other locations to give messages from loved ones who have passed, messages which are always loving and reassuring.
I went on to explain how the medium tried to ignore the spiritual gift for a long time. One day (several years prior) this medium was at work when the image of a young woman’s face popped into her mind’s eye, along with a message. Not recognizing the face and somewhat accustomed to strange inner experiences, she ignored the message until later that evening when she saw the same face on the 6 o’clock news! A fatal auto accident had taken the life of that young woman the night before and it was obvious she had been given a message to the family.
Running from the living room choking back tears, she knelt in the privacy of her bedroom and sobbed as she prayed, “God, I don’t know why you gave me this gift, and I really have not wanted it, but if you will guide me I will do my best to share what you call me to share.”
This morning I was still processing all of this and wondering if I should send Marge a text or a note acknowledging what seemed to be an uncomfortable situation with the subject. Lost in that make-believe world as I was making my bed, I stepped on something. There on the floor was the gemstone given to me a couple of months ago by a woman in my hometown who gives spiritual readings. I had been instructed to put the stone under my pillow, and it had been tied in a drawstring bag and safety pinned to the pillow all this time. The bag was still tied, and still pinned to the pillow inside the case, but the stone had been on the floor and was now in my hand.
I began to think about the courage it takes to honor our experiences. I remember when a dear friend apologized that I had been “outed” because she had written about me in her blog, saying that I talk to dead people. (See Ella’s Soapbox.)
As I held that gem stone in my hand, this is what I heard in my head:
I don’t talk to dead people. I talk to people no longer in body.
Just because you haven’t had the experience does not mean that the experience is not real. And just because someone’s experience of God does not fit with your experience of God, does not mean it is not a valid experience of God.
I wonder why the woman told the story about her niece’s message from the Long Island Medium knowing Marge would likely not be comfortable with the subject of mediums. And I am curious about my own sharing the story of the medium who told my client about the woman with the green fairy hanging over her table. We may never know for sure the answers to all of our questions but Marge’s husband passed away one month ago today…
By Debra Basham, on September 12, 2017 I just spoke with a dear friend. She is my sister from another mister. We are soul mates, and we have such sweet sincere respect and love for one another. We were sharing about the privilege of lifting one another up, and being confident we always get our turn. The metaphor that popped into my mind is that of a seesaw.
Seesaws (also known as a teeter-totter) were commonplace on the playgrounds where we grew up.
The seesaw is supported by a single pivot point. As one end goes up, the other goes down.
My heart is filled with compassion for so many in our world. Irma has left many homeless, even if some only temporarily. It will be a long while before things settle to a new normal.
A friend here in Michigan fell and is now in the hospital in horrific pain made worse by his blindness. He has lost his sister and his brother and now lives alone.
What is an appropriate response? The following email message came from my teacher/friend, Barbara Brodsky, and her teacher/friend, Aaron. I have not asked permission to share it with you, but I know they will be glad to have you take it to heart and to share it with others.
Dear friends,
I have been watching the news and weather through the weekend with sadness, as I know is true for many of you. Harvey caused (and continues to cause) so much suffering as people lost homes, livelihoods and even lives. Irma will continue such suffering. Deep Spring Center is a national/ international sangha. In the past weeks and this week, I have spoken to friends in Texas and now in Florida, who have lost homes, have had to evacuate, and have felt bewildered and afraid. Such pain is a natural consequence of such uncertainty. We cannot fix it for ourselves or others, only hold it all in love.
My first tendency was to think, “I offer you love,” whether it be to a person, place or situation. Aaron reminded me that to offer love is a subtle act of separation. It’s better than nothing, and does help, but it is also me, separate from you, trying to give you something to help your pain. It is a statement that it is your situation and pain though, and I need not experience it directly.
He asked me to substitute, “I hold you in my heart,” with the recognition that we are one. “Your pain and my pain are one; your loss and my loss are one.” As in that beautiful chant with the lines, “because I am in you, and you are in me.”
The natural human tendency is to want to separate ourselves from pain, from chaos and from helplessness, and to feel safe and in control. But life is often not that way. Acknowledging this truth, can we allow ourselves to be truly vulnerable and be touched by our pain?
Please join me opening your hearts to our brothers and sisters, our mothers and fathers, our children, ourselves, in Houston, the Caribbean, Florida, and also in Mexico that has just suffered a strong earthquake, in places where there is war, and in the parts of the world where people go to bed hungry and sick. Please join me with the loving thought, “I hold you in my heart. Your pain and my pain are one.” In this way, the true energy of Love becomes available to all. We are not helpless; this is something real, to open our hearts to our own and the world’s suffering. We are bigger and stronger than we think.
May all beings everywhere be free of suffering.
May all beings dwell in the Heart of Love.
May all beings everywhere find freedom and perfect peace.
With love,
Barbara and Aaron
Some days we are up physically and down emotionally. Other days we are up emotionally but down physically. Whether the storms of life have you at the top of the seesaw where it is high and dry or the bottom where it is flooded with pain, we are able to know the truth of the ups and downs. As Barbara and Aaron expressed, “May all beings everywhere be free of suffering.” We are bigger and stronger than we think.
By Debra Basham, on September 8, 2017
Please be extra gentle with yourself during these highly charged, transformative times. We are all so beautifully sensitive to the collective experience – and especially right now.
We are sending our blessings to those in the many places where there are wildfires, floods, and approaching hurricanes. Peace, love, and blessings to all people, all creatures, and all lands everywhere. So many new beginnings are underway. ~ Matt Kahn
This photo was posted on Facebook by my son-in-law, Doug Dodge, along with his comments about yesterday’s hurricane damage: One of my favorite places in the BVI’s (British Virgin Islands). This is a picture of one of the rental fleets. They have total devastation and nothing left. We have met some great people over the years that live there and our hearts go out to them. Their only income is tourism and they have nothing to offer now. Please keep them in your prayers.
At the time of this blog’s writing many friends and family and people we may never know across the state of Florida and other parts of the southeastern US are dealing with the anticipated devastation related to hurricane Irma after seeing what she has already done. This all makes me aware about the need to plan for dealing with devastation.
Some will blame God, others will blame humans for accelerated global warming. Many will be second-guessing choices they have made to build, live, visit, stay or go. It is natural to be awash with emotions as we anticipate and/or witness devastation, but blame and remorse are not helpful.
Perhaps Ira Byock’s book, The Four Things That Matter Most, now updated for its tenth anniversary, can offer us some advise. Byock says four simple phrases “stating the obvious” allow us to experience the benefits of letting old grudges and toxic emotions:
“Please forgive me.”
“I forgive you.”
“Thank you.”
“I love you.”
And there are things we can do. We can give money to organizations we know are responsible with their dollars and have good sense about what is helpful at what time. We can pray. We can also do Tonglen to assist in the processing of all of this collective emotion. If you are new to the practice of Tonglen or you will benefit from a refresher, please read “Terrorist Attacks and Tonglen.”
By Debra Basham, on August 28, 2017 Greek philosopher, Heraclitus, way back in the sixth century B.C. said: “You cannot step twice into the same river.” This is because the river is in flux. Perhaps it is also because we are always changing. I certainly was aware of this truth while attending a Level 1 Healing Touch workshop at the VA in Hines, Illinois. I attended my first Healing Touch Level 1 in February, 1995.
Accompanied to the workshop by my friend, Norleen, my heart was filled with compassion for the nurses whose work days are rife in life-or-death actions. Instructor, Ann O’Malley, tells us to ground and center, attune to the universal healing energy and the person we are working with, and to “follow the energy” because “you cannot do it wrong.”
This class is all women, most nurses working with Veterans here at Hines VA.
We learn the basic healing sequence, practice on/with one another, and find ourselves changing, just like the river.
Since my first Level 1 Class in 1995, I have had the honor to help many individuals become aware of the subtle healing energies. I have great respect for Ann, and I am grateful she is still teaching after all these years. I am profoundly aware it is good for each of us to be here in this class and simultaneously good for our world that we can be open and willing to learn and share the truth.
During the last weeks of my brother-in-law’s life, as he and his family dealt with his increased body restlessness, I offered to share some of the Healing Touch techniques that might lessen or abate some of his symptoms. In our class Ann stresses the ethics of always asking permission before sharing Healing Touch. She tells of a man who sat in her chair for a demonstration at a health fair. When she sensed he was not open, she asked him if he wanted to receive the Healing Touch. He admitted his wife had made him come and he did not believe in it. She suggested he be honest about that and allow someone else to come. He left the chair.
We must be open.
We must be willing.
Sunday morning’s Thought for Today from the Brahma Kumaris seems so very timely: I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.
I am grateful my brother-in-law was admitted to Hanson Hospice Center and that he passed peacefully. In the last minutes of his earthly life between 3 and 5 a.m., I was awake. (See Shadow Work)
I toyed with the thought of getting dressed and going to Hanson Hospice Center, but determined I could just as easily offer support from home. As I settled onto the sofa in the great room here in the tiny house, my heart went automatically to the Healing Touch technique called Chakra Spread, often used in hospice care for the terminally ill. You begin by holding the sole of one foot with the palm of your hand and the other hand on top of the foot or ankle. Then you do the same to the other foot. Next, you do a thumb-lock handshake with your other hand on the back of the client’s hand. Repeat with the other hand.
Moving gently from about a foot above the head you slowly and tenderly spread each chakra three times: Crown, Brow, Throat, Heart, Solar Plexus, Sacral, Root, knees (done together), and ankles (done together), then slip the “earthy boots” or “worldly cares” off the feet. This entire process is repeated three times before you return to one hand and hold it in the thumb-lock handshake again as you place your other hand over the person’s heart.
This is often taught to a family member or loved one. Rather than sit in fear or sadness, it is a way of praying with your whole body, mind, and spirit.
I fell asleep on the sofa after doing the chakra spread and it was shortly before 5 a.m. when my husband came in to tell me his brother hand passed. It was wonderful to have the song No Longer Slaves sung at his service.
“No Longer Slaves”
You unravel me with a melody
You surround me with a song
Of deliverance from my enemies
‘Til all my fears are gone
I’m no longer a slave to fear
I am a child of God
From my mother’s womb
You have chosen me
Love has called my name
I’ve been born again into your family
Your blood flows through my veins
I’m no longer a slave to fear
I am a child of God
I am surrounded
By the arms of the father
I am surrounded
By songs of deliverance
We’ve been liberated
From our bondage
We’re the sons and the daughters
Let us sing our freedom
You split the sea
So I could walk right through it
My fears were drowned in perfect love
You rescued me
And I will stand and sing
I am a child of God.
Yes, I am
I am a child of God
I am a child of God
Yes, I am
I am a child of God
Full of faith
Yes, I am a child of God
I am a child of God
I’m no longer a slave to fear
I am a child of God
Janet Mentgen, beloved founder of Healing Touch, encouraged all Healing Touch students and practitioners to “Just do the work!” Her personal goal was to have each human on earth bring light with every step that we walk. What gift. We can just follow the energy. We do not have to worry that we are doing it wrong. Hallelujah!
I am so honored to have spent these two days with my friend Norleen and these other brave women. May all be no longer slaves to fear….
By Debra Basham, on August 16, 2017 Just as we now have a new address, so my brother-in-love, Jim, also has a new address. Jim was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer this past November. Although a very difficult time, he and his family found gifts tucked inside the days. He passed from this life today about 5:00 am.
I am choosing to hold on to what I know to be real: within every experience I have the opportunity to learn love. This is brought home by a very stressful interaction with our granddaughter who is here visiting. You could say she is 18 going on 40, if you know what I mean.
I remember the day her mom and grandpa and I were riding with her soon after she got her driving permit. As we came into the subdivision the back way she was not quite up on two wheels, but she was for sure going way too fast. “Slow down!” yelled her mom.
“I know what I am doing!” she shot back.
“You are going way too fast,” her grandpa added.
In a voice sounding more calm than my innards felt I said simply the truth, “Between your mom and your grandpa and me we have about 120 years of driving experience. You may not be mature enough to admit it but we are a better judge of your driving right now than you are.”
Last night she stepped way over our boundary when she came in at 3:00 am. I do not know where she really was all that time or what she was doing but I do know that her “attitude” is a pattern of behavior she has played out with her mom many times before.
We miss seeing what is obvious to others because that is the nature of shadow work.
My brother-in-love was changed dramatically during this journey with cancer. He learned to laugh easily and he helped others do the same. Just last Sunday when he asked his wife for nail scissors she cautioned him to be careful with them. He has been very shaky. He took the scissors and then feigned a dangerously shaky hand before their eyes met and they both giggled.
My granddaughter and her mom and I may not be ready to tease and laugh easily about our parts in all of this but we will all feel better as we can.
William Arthur Ward said to make mistakes is human; to stumble is commonplace; and to be able to laugh at yourself is maturity.
My granddaughter is only 18. My brother-in-law was past 70. We have time….
By Debra Basham, on August 6, 2017 I have had some long days and short nights the past couple of weeks, but we are moved! Here is my poem about all of that I wrote for the last Pine Island Poetry group:
A Week’s Lifetime
I. I’ve slept in my bed in this house the last Sunday of my life. The scent of long-past passion still lingers in my nose. The waterbed gave way to a California mattress. The headboard frame with the drawers underneath replaced by a rich Cherry poster bed that stands tall enough I can store the massage table underneath.
II. This is the last Monday morning I will wake up in this house. Approximately 83,216 Monday mornings I’ve sat here looking east. Thousands of times I’ve watched the shadows grow long, had the sun in my eyes, and marveled at the rain pelting the window.
III. More than two decades of pulling out of the driveway on Tuesday mornings heading to Still Waters. Sitting in the grapevine rocking chair in front of the sliding glass door looking at the majestic oak tree. Remembering that day I realized one of the women in the library was someone I had carried a deep grudge against, Forgiveness was unnecessary as the truth of how perfectly her role orchestrated divine will in my life set my heart free.
IV. Working in Kalamazoo on Wednesdays, traveling enough to always keep my makeup bag packed, finding it easier to live out of my overnight bag than to realize some culturally-demanded essential was where I wasn’t. Years of driving into the sun on the way over Wednesday mornings and driving into the sun on the way back Thursday evenings.
V. So many trips to Tennessee, watching grandkids grow up, remembering moments and milestones and many miles. We always left on Thursdays. Brad is married now, almost a year. Adam is a firefighter. My thoughts were also of Adam as I watched the first responders last Friday morning trying desperately to give my new neighbor one more day or week or month or year. Quite forgetful, she would introduce herself to me every time I stopped in at the new house. “I’m Katey,’ she would say, “I’ve lived here 33 years. It’s the best place I’ve ever lived. You’re going to love it here….” Adam arrived the day we moved in. Granddaughter, Courtney, will be here on Friday.
VI. Friday night used to be date night. We would have the house all to ourselves. We’d make love in front of the fireplace, dozing off afterwards. I remember once having an ear print on the inside of my thigh. The nostalgia of leaving this house is not just about brick and mortar or years gone by. Moving makes us remember what really matters. We buried Spanky here. So many times I felt the weight of that cat on my chest long after his ashes were way out back.
VII. Saturday morning Jehovah’s Witness visits, regular until the day John said, “Oh, yes, we are believers. My wife is an interfaith minister….” It’s funny how ritualistic our lives can become. Weeks and years and decades look so much like their predecessors, yet nothing truly remains the same. Next Monday morning I will wake up in my same bed, between my favorite bamboo sheets, having listened to 2002 Land of Forever. While my bed won’t be at 4230 Lincoln, part of my history will be.
VIII. It’s a new beginning at 1153 West Glenlord Road, Lot 84…
Debra Basham 7/24/17 (WC 544)
This week I held baby Iris for the first time, stained and varnished a desktop, made my first risotto, and it absolutely amazes me that I can feel right at home somewhere other than where I felt right at home for the past 40 years. I trust that means this is the next right step….
By Debra Basham, on July 21, 2017 First times are memorable just because they are first. This has certainly been true for me this summer with the selling of our home.
Here is a handout left on our kitchen table next to the plate of cookies just-out-of-the-oven:
This was our first home, purchased 40 years ago this past April.
Our next home is in Glen-Aire, just around the corner.
Here are a few of the things to love about this home:
Location, location, location!
The beautiful hardwood floors.
The family room.
Looking out on the back yard.
The laundry chute.
The kitchen layout, including the pantry, the pull-out shelves, and the 36 inch drawers.
The dimmer switches.
The built-ins (master bedroom, master bathroom, garage).
The lighted closets.
Instant hot water in all locations.
The gas fire place.
The sunrises and sunsets.
The basement shelves.
Did I mention the location and the lot?
If you decide this is to be your next home, you will love it.
This is the first home we have ever sold, and it is also the first home the buyer has ever bought. We are both well past our teenage years but we are property virgins.
The selling and buying of this home will be memorable, as will this morning’s sunrise….
By Debra Basham, on July 15, 2017 I was awake st 3:00 am and purged the roll-top desk in the living room before heading over to meet Kathy Zerler at the new house to paint the master bedroom. We are so happy with how it turned out, and I now have a freshly-made up air mattress so we can rest as we are there working!
John and I went to a restaurant in Stevensville for All-You-Can-Eat fish fry. We spontaneously joined friends, Sue Tracey and her husband Al Lutz. We had not been together for a long while, but had earlier in the week had some email contact about our downsizing adventure. It was such a lovely surprise to dine with them and catch up a bit.
As we were getting ready to leave Sue was telling us about our server, telling us what an ambitious young woman she is at age 23 owning your own home, working two jobs! Sue said the young woman’s name, a very unusual name. My heart skipped a beat. Could it be?
When our server came back to bring our checks, I asked if she was the person by that name who had a grandpa that had passed a couple weeks before she was born, and what his name was, and what her birthday is.
I choked back tears of joy and amazement! It took my breath away to realize this lovely young woman was the little girl whose mother I coached to do spirit release work I wrote about in my book of Stories.
Her grandpa had been a professional boxer for the Navy and he had been so excited about the coming birth of his first grandchild. His sweet spirit had become attached to her and that was the source of the difficulties.
Physically tired from my full day, I left that restaurant with a full belly and an even more full heart. I have been profoundly affected by the serendipities of this meeting and the confirmation of what is possible with Spirit at the helm….
From Falling Together in Love: Stories From My Heart for and about YOU, , pg. 34-35:
The area of spirit release work (clinical depossession) is written about some, but many of the stories sound so odd that sometimes you have to be ready to step way beyond your own beliefs to notice. Once you step beyond your beliefs, then because you are willing to pay attention to the language a person uses, some very interesting situations show up. Often times a person’s life can be improved in very dramatic ways you don’t even necessarily believe in.
One day I received a call at the wellness clinic where I was working. A mother reported having had severe behavior problems with her five-year-old daughter. The girl would fly into such rages that it would take three or four adults to hold her down. The behavior was creating major problems for her family, and huge issues at school.
After asking some basic questions about general health, including allergy testing, I asked if the mom had ever considered whether this problem was spiritual in nature.
The mom said it was as if her daughter was possessed, and she had gone to a priest., “And I am not even Catholic!” she added. The priest told her that Catholics don’t do exorcisms any more.
I asked if there had been a death in their family soon after her daughter was born. No death after, but two weeks before the child’s birth, her paternal grandfather had died. This was the first grandchild, and the grandpa was thrilled about the expected baby.
I asked the mother if she thought his spirit might be attached to the little girl. The grandpa had been a professional boxer, and when the child would fly into the rages, family members would often say, “There is her grandpa coming out in her!”
Because all language is essentially metaphorical, it is usually easiest to work with the person’s metaphor, his or her model of the world. It is easier to work with what is there, because what is in the way is the way.
It helps to have an understanding of beliefs from lots of different cultures and religions. For some people, a belief in reincarnation is just as natural as a belief in gravity or the sun or the moon. Others may have different ways of understanding what is often called eternal life, or life after death. You can borrow beliefs that seem to make sense in a specific situation, and it is probably pretty easy to see how your ability to believe in spirit possession by a loved-one made good since in this situation.
I told the mom a clinical psychologist (Edith Fiore) had written a book on this sort of thing, and I gave her the simple steps taken right from the book. A few weeks later I gave a call back, just to check how things were going. The mother answered the phone, and I said, “This is Debra Basham. I am just checking to see how things are going with your daughter.” The mother seemed a bit confused, as though she did not remember me. She said that her daughter was doing just fine, and asked why I thought she might not be! I replied, “A few weeks ago we spoke on the phone and you told me how your daughter had been flying into rages and was about to be kicked out of school.”
“Oh, she doesn’t do that anymore.”
“That is wonderful. I am curious how the improvement came about.”
“That night after we talked I just did exactly what you told me, and she is fine now.”
This mother is just one more person whose problem disappeared so well she did not even remember it. I love it when your problems are so far gone you don’t even recall having had them. Nice. Very nice.
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