Out of Control

Hearing Barbara Brodsky speak candidly about her husband, Hal, being so very vulnerable in the nursing home. What if the facility goes on lockdown and he can’t have the therapy so desperately needed. She wonders if she should bring him home. “I want to know. I don’t know. Does anybody know?”

Barbara hears Aaron, “Come back into your heart. What does your heart tell you? What is the most loving thing in this moment? How can you do what you need to do without panic?”

We are in a place of “DON’T KNOW.”

This is the sympathetic nervous system, and this system has no “immune” system. This is the most vulnerable space during the global crisis related to COVID-19, because it is the most vulnerable space related to everything.

Life feels out of control. But is it really any more out of control than life itself simply is? Nothing inner has really changed, even though many outer conditions have changed.

Hand sanitizer is difficult to find. Rubber gloves are out of stock. Even medications necessary for survival are in short supply.

These conditions are current.

School closings, restricted travels, stock market reactions, global focus on COVID-19…. these conditions are current.

You cannot directly change the outer conditions.

As my fingers float across the keyboard I am watching the video of our Dharma Path class from March 10, 2020. I am including some of Aaron’s words in quotations below.

“Everything will change and again and again….”

“Your attitude, your energy—you have control over that much…”

“When you are honest with yourself, this is where you have control…”

What is out of control is the fear. This is not a new condition for humans. Fear is so familiar it feels natural, but it is neither natural nor healthy.

“What can one person do? Look at the fear…. beyond fear, almost panic…”

“Unconscious fear is just adding fuel to the fire….”

“Talk about your fears in a nonjudgmental way….”

My dear friend and yoga teacher, Kathy, and I were sharing such gratitude for our yoga practice. Yoga is mindful movement. The body is different every time you come to the mat. Your practice is to stay aware and to move from within.

Earlier this morning, upon the draw, the poker machine gave me a straight.

“We all want certainty….”

“Everybody wants to be healthy and have their loved ones healthy….”

“It is one world…. You wanted the problem to be their problem.”

“Whatever is happening to a baby on the other side of the world is happening to you….”

Life is a poker machine. You can only play the cards you are dealt. You know the game. You know what to save.

“How can I handle this in the most loving way….”

“Any virus is still a sentient being in some degree. It may not speak your language but it works with energy just as you do….
When enough of you come together and say, ‘No, you may not take over and kill.’…. Start speaking to the virus. ‘If you attack us and we die, you will die….’ Said in love, not in hatred and disgust. ‘Every sentient being deserves happiness.’ Praying for this virus. Is anybody here praying for the virus that it may have well-being without destroying others? This is where it starts…. The next step for the higher conscious of humans….”

The following poem was written on 3/11/2020 Lynn Ungarhttp://www.lynnungar.com/about/ Barbara Brodsky sent the poem to our class. It is timely, poignant, and clear.

Pandemic

What if you thought of it
as the Jews consider the Sabbath—
the most sacred of times?
Cease from travel.
Cease from buying and selling.
Give up, just for now,
on trying to make the world
different than it is.
Sing. Pray. Touch only those
to whom you commit your life.
Center down.
And when your body has become still,
reach out with your heart.
Know that we are connected
in ways that are terrifying and beautiful.
(You could hardly deny it now.)
Know that our lives
are in one another’s hands.
(Surely, that has come clear.)
Do not reach out your hands.
Reach out your heart.
Reach out your words.
Reach out all the tendrils
of compassion that move, invisibly,
where we cannot touch.
Promise this world your love–
for better or for worse,
in sickness and in health,
so long as we all shall live.
–Lynn Ungar 3/11/20

“Unless you do not take care of the world’s population, you cannot take care of yourself and your family….”

“Holding hands with your comrades and asking where is love here…. Thank you for coming as a teacher…. Now we are learning what we need to learn….”

“You are here to help the consciousness of earth to a higher consciousness….”

“I cannot destroy with hate to support love….”

“You are capable of this….”

“You have the ability to handle whatever comes with love….”