Look at Us

Last night at the North Ft. Myers Bluegrass Jam John dedicated Vince Gill’s song “Look at Us” to our new friends Steve and Brenda Finley and John and me. We both celebrate wedding anniversaries of over 50 years this week. Our 59th is today. March 19 is also the wedding anniversary of other music friends, Alan and Cindy Bickford, from Pine Island. Wishing them a happy anniversary as well.

Look at us lyrics:

Look at us
After all these years together
Look at us
After all that we’ve been through
Look at us
Still leaning on each other
If you wanna see how true love should be
Then just look at us

Look at you
Still pretty as a picture
Look at me
Still crazy over you
Look at us
Still believing in forever
If you wanna see how true love should be
Then just look at us

In a hundred years from now
I know without a doubt
They’ll all look back and wonder how
We made it all work out
Chances are we’ll go down in history
When they wanna see
How true love should be
They’ll just look at us

Chances are we’ll go down in history
When they wanna see
How true love should be
They’ll just look at us
When they wanna see
How true love should be
They’ll just look at us

Songwriters: Max Duane Barnes / Vince Gill
Look at Us lyrics © Reservoir 416, Diamond Cholla Music, Benefit Music, Irving Music Inc.

From a Buddhist perspective, a wedding anniversary is a time to reflect on the journey of a relationship, reaffirming vows of love, compassion, and mutual respect, and practicing mindfulness in the face of impermanence.

I have often found myself saying over the years that we have not actually been married to the same person for all of these years, and John is famous for adding, “And I am not just talking about hair color….”

I chose this photo for today’s post because Stacey was there with us on our wedding day and every anniversary since! We have all changed so much.

I have officiated at MANY weddings over the years. I have had the honor of officiating at only one uncoupling ceremony. I think the Buddhist teachings about impermanence are significant related to both. I found the following AI generated paragraph that speaks to the letting go of what was with love and respect.

“When it comes time to part, be it through death or another fluctuation of cyclic existence, we aspire to look back at our time together with joy — joy that we met and shared what we did — and acceptance that we cannot hold on to each other forever. We will wish each other well from the depths of our hearts and help each other as we both go on to new lives.”

I could not read those words without feeling the adjustment John and I are going through with Linda and Larry as we are both securing new seasonal rentals because we cannot return to the beloved Blue House we have shared in Punta Gorda for the past two winters. We have all loved this house. I have loved witnessing dawn from our east-facing lanai and biking the neighborhoods. We have shared many meals made in the roomy kitchen with friends and family. This is the nicest house John and I have ever lived in. Our homeowners have determined maintaining two properties is not sustainable for them. They are very sad to not have us as guests, but it is undeniably what needs to happen.

Those words from the Buddhist perspective about when it comes to part seem so fitting: we cannot hold on to each other forever. Not a house, not a spouse. So, for this moment, we treasure what is present.

Linda and her late husband had four children under the age of five when they got married. (March 19 is also their daughter Chris’s birthday.) Linda has shared that when life would get really chaotic they would say to one another, “I would still say I do.”

John Basham, that is what I say to you, Look at us. I would still say I do. I love you more with each passing decade. Happy 59th anniversary