Life literally hangs by a breath.
Breathe in.
After exhaling, consider the possibility that you might not be able to inhale again.
When breath no longer enters your body,
then your life span has ended, and you will die.
Say to yourself, “This life is fragile and completely dependent on my breath.”
From Being with Dying:
Cultivating Compassion and Fearlessness in the Presence of Death
by Joan Halifax
Well, she has worked very hard this past week, and we now have her Celebration of Life ceremony written. (See my previous post: Enjoy Your Journey.) She considers this her opportunity to get in the last word. I love her sense of humor, and I am deeply honored to have been invited into the intimate spaces of her heart and mind. I, too, feel a sense of satisfaction with our co-creation. Now we wait, knowing that for each of us life literally hangs by a breath.
Since I have been visiting in her home with her, I now ask for dog biscuits at the drive-in window at the credit union. These treats are for her loyal four-legged friend. I am welcomed with a bark and an immediate expectancy of a treat. I think she welcomes me that way, too….
Baby boomers are now approaching end-of-life, and, as this bulge in human history we have the opportunity to shape the culture we were born into. Is it possible we can cultivate compassion and fearlessness in the presence of death? Perhaps it is not only possible, but also our destiny and our most sacred opportunity.
Conscious dying is the phrase most commonly used today. An essential element in conscious dying is learning to consciously live, and the earlier the better, but it is never too late to learn the truth that it’s OK.
You can listen online to the complete Death A 5-Part Series on Wisconsin Public Radio. Here is an excerpt from part three, Death-The Last Moment:
The hospice doctors, nurses, and social workers asked him if he was afraid of death. He always said no; he was not afraid of death. It occurred to me that was not the right question.I asked him, “Are you afraid of death?”“No,” he responded.“Are you afraid of dying?” I asked.“Yes,” he whispered.“What are you afraid of?” I continued.“The unknown… the pain,” he stammered.
Steven Spiro, Buddhist chaplain and advocate of conscious dying, shares information on conscious dying and encourages us to imagine our own death in detail: where would you like to die; who would you want with you; who don’t you want to be there. I would add the phrase from Imagine Healing: Although it won’t happen exactly as you imagine it….
Spiro suggests we can make peace and practice conscious dying with the help of the phrases from Four Things That Matter Most: A Book About Living, by Ira Byrock, M.D.
“Please forgive me.”
“I forgive you.”
“Thank you.”
“I love you.”
Spiro wisely adds a fifth: “It’s OK.”
I breathe in and I think of the unknown facing me and all those I love. I breathe out and I think of the unknown facing her and all those she loves.
It’s OK. I have another serving of dog biscuits ready….
