(An open letter to my husband, John Basham, on the occasion of our Golden Wedding Anniversary on Saturday, March 19, 2016.)
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| Mr. and Mrs. John Basham – 1966 |
Saturday, March 19 , 1966, it was a different world when we said “I do.” Gasoline was 29 cents per gallon, and we were still in high school. We were expecting what would be our only child.
While some of our friends who were pregnant when they got married used the phrase, “had to get married” about their wedding, there was no have-to-get-married for us. We had to go to probate court. We had to challenge the judge who said our baby belonged to the courts. We had to fight the courts and the odds to still be together 5 decades later.
In many ways, the 3 of us grew up together. You and I certainly never felt like we missed out on anything we wanted. We had it all.
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| 1991 – 25th Anniversary: Renewal of Vows |
I am glad we had a big event for our 25th as our 50th will be about as simple as our wedding itself. Just the four of us in the church that night. The sanctuary dark, with only the light in the chancel on. We entered the side door—you, me, your brother Jim, and sister-in-law Karen.
We still have the proofs of our wedding photos taken at the photographer’s home on our way to Berrien Springs for me to meet your grandparents.
After I was approved by all there, we drove back into Benton Harbor to buy Henny Penny chicken from Henry’s (for those who know Benton Harbor!). We drove to Eau Claire and ate our wedding dinner at the kitchen table in the home of Karen’s mom, Mable, where she and Jim and their son, Kurt, lived.
Our wedding night was spent in my bed, in my parents’ home at Spinks Corners, with my mom and dad in the next room! Not much privacy for a shy guy and his hormone-heavy bride, but we survived that and so much more, didn’t we….
All those who have been buried while we have been married….
So much change in the world and in us….
What is most important today is the truth that has never waivered: I would do it all over again. I would say, “I do.”
I love that we don’t have to like the same things; do what the other does; or even agree.
I love the freedom to be me that you so freely give, and I treasure how much our daughter and our grandchildren love you. We all did very well choosing you, and we all love you very much. My dad is glad he missed the night he shot at you because you came to the house in the middle of the night (for the record, it was 8:30 pm).
Since on this sacred occasion, we are celebrating without the benefit of formal ceremony, I will borrow a slightly edited version of a wonderful prayer for the wedding of Ann Kidd and Scott Taylor, from the book Traveling with Pomegranates: A Mother-Daughter Story, by Sue Monk Kidd and Ann Kidd Taylor:
Eternal Spirit, Mother and Father who art in earth and heaven:
We acknowledge your presence on this holy occasion,
Like the oak branch that reaches into heaven,
And the roots that travel into the earth,
You are above us and below us, and everywhere around us.
May we know You in the beauty of the green earth,
In the music of the flowing river, and
In the hearts that rejoice together at the 50th wedding anniversary of Debra and John Basham. Amen.
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