“It is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful.”
I heard this pithy quotation attributed to Brené Brown, but it actually came from Gratefulfness, The Heart of Prayer by Brother David Steindl-Rast, and it is part of a larger commentary:
Ordinary happiness depends on happenstance.
Joy is that extraordinary happiness that is independent of what happens to us.
Good luck can make us happy, but it cannot give us lasting joy.The root of joy is gratefulness. We tend to misunderstand the link between joy and gratefulness. We notice that joyful people are grateful and suppose that they are grateful for their joy.
But the reverse is true: their joy springs from gratefulness. If one has all the good luck in the world, but takes it for granted, it will not give one joy. Yet even bad luck will give joy to those who manage to be grateful for it.
We hold the key to lasting happiness in our own hands. For it is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful.
My mind goes immediately to a remarkable woman I know who has been on a marathon journey through cancer for close to a year now. Following an almost unbelievable surgical procedure in August, she has met one complication after another.
Sometimes it feels as though I am holding my breath waiting to hear an update from her.
When her updates come—along with the candid reports of the hurdles—I can hear her fears and frustrations and her hopes and dreams, but I also hear gratitude. Her heart has been broken open widely enough that her heart holds everything.
Her heart holds her desire to be there to see her daughter grow up.
Her open heart is the container for the things that used to seem so significant.
And joy is there in her heart, too; a product of her gratefulness.
From her most recent post: “On the positive side, I saw a cardiologist today. I had an echo-cardiogram done last week and it seems as though the pericardial effusion has now gone away. (That was the water around my heart). So that is good news. The cardiologist said if cancer was causing the effusions it would still be there. He believes it was the emboli in my lungs and now that they are under control, the effusion disappeared. I’ll take any win I can get!”
Woven within the pain and uncertainty of her human frailty is genuine gratitude for the love that is extended to her. Love comes from friends, family, co-workers. Most wondrously, love also flows freely from unnumbered strangers on prayer lists who do not even know her name or what city or state she lives in.
As I join that unending circle of love encircling her and all others who are navigating the turbulent waters of the human experience, I am reminded again to never underestimate the benefits of gratitude….
