Essence

We are enjoying wonderful weather here on Pine Island. Whether the weather is pleasant or unpleasant, John and I continue to navigate some challenging physical stuff.

John started with planting a mum early November in Michigan’s hard autumn ground. Stepping on the shovel with his right leg, he felt a pop in his low back. Three chiropractic sessions, a TENS unit, and exercises could not prevent our long drive times from Michigan to Tennessee and from Tennessee to Florida from pushing him over the edge. Fast forward to this week:

I am having some sort of chronic sinus stuff. Interestingly, my friend (who did not know about this) sent an article titled “Marvels of Mucus and Phlegm.”

It is challenging to not feel discouraged.

A couple of days ago problems with some Amazon Web Services cloud servers were causing slow loading or failures for significant chunks of the internet. Our Alexa device stopped working. Everything looked right at the configuration level, but nothing I did brought her back online. Later, when Alexa came back online, we could still not access Amazon Music Unlimited.

Add to this a new app for TV here in Florida. Hmmmm, you know about teaching old dogs new tricks, right? We are struggling big time with that.

I said to John, “This house is too quiet!!!”

True confession. Those words have never come out of my mouth before.

I miss his music.

I miss putting together thousands of puzzle pieces as he is playing his guitar and I am (badly) singing along with him.

I miss him being out-and-about gabbing.

I miss the way we have historically lived life here.

We have both realized the profound fact that a lot has changed.

John’s brother, Jerry, passed in September. John will not be hanging out with Jerry for his normal two-days-per-week-off-island this January, February, and March. Also, John’s long-time musician friend, Walt, sold his place here on Pie Island after Walt’s wife passed in September.

Big changes.

I am currently the one to go to the store, the pharmacy, the store, the pharmacy; the pharmacy, the store, the pharmacy. The other day, the pharmacy tech at CVS was having a really bad day. She used the “F” word, and she cried.

We are not alone living through these stressful times.

Yesterday I had the privilege of transcribing my (marvels of mucus) friend’s private session with Barbara Brodsky. Here is a brief excerpt:

You said you’ve been – I don’t remember who – you said you’ve been listening to some of these teachers. I am looking at the questions.

Adyashanti – alright, he is very rooted in the true self, and I don’t know the 30 specific pointers and “practices” but I would imagine they must be pointers toward remembering and resting in the true self.

I am glad you are doing that. That’s perfect.

My true self is way beyond the mucus. John’s true self is much more than sciatica pain.

For sure, everything is a reminder of how we are giving meaning to our experiences. I drew an Osho card this morning. 7 of Water. Projections. The last lines: And there are as many worlds as there are minds, because every mind lives in its own world.

Grandson Brad checked in with us last evening. He suggested John tally his highest level of well-being each day. Rather than using a pain scale to see his lows, what was he able to do/enjoy/achieve today?

A couple of evenings ago, after some lateral leg pulls and a few minutes on the makeshift inversion table John was able to walk upright. He looked like someone with a book on their head, as proud as punch!

A suggestion from my friend’s reading: I want you to find that infinite source of love, that essence of love which you are…

And from Adyashanti: Essence isn’t a small thing, essence is an immense thing. The essence of you is everything you ever see, taste, touch, and experience. Everywhere you go, every step you take, every breath you take is actually happening by the essence, of the essence, in the essence, and to the essence.

The marvel of mucus and the severity of sciatica are both happening in the essence….