Dissent with Love

WORD FOR THE DAY

Love takes off the masks
we fear we cannot live without
and know we cannot live within.

~ James Baldwin (Gratefulness.org)

Group 2 sharing last evening was active with exploring the question of the value of being ordained (in Buddhism). This was not so much an intellectual discussion, but a sincere reflection of the yearning many expressed toward living in a community that honors, respects, and supports those deeper dynamics of mindful living. Several in our group have been exploited by spiritual leaders in this lifetime — emotionally or mentally or sexually — and sometimes all three.

Many said the time of hero worship or guru gazing have personally passed us by.

Interesting, just yesterday morning out on a bike ride, Larry was telling me about the great-grandmother of a child Linda had the privilege of doing a baptism for last week. He said this woman is Hispanic, and he assumes she likely has a Catholic background. She also has dementia and, although she never said a word, he felt he could see in her eyes the accusation, “That woman is no priest!”

Over the years, many miles on this Yellow Brick Road have been walking away from the past where patriarchy choked the rights of women out of our collective lives. This morning, two daily writings address the benefit of having “right view.” The first is from Neale Donald Walsch (author of the series of Conversations with God books).

… that a point of view different from your own might be well worth entertaining. Sometimes it is not easy hearing an idea that is different from the one you are advancing — yet it might be that second idea for which you were actually reaching. Answers arrive in more ways than one. Sometimes they come through us, and sometimes they come to us.

Brandon Morton’s son with a baby goat!

Our bicycle-riding conversation continued, “The church Linda’s brother and sister-in-law and her sister and brother-in-law go to still will not allow women in leadership. The husband is the head of the house, and the wife is by scripture ordered to be submissive to his will. Do you think Linda would go along with that?”

I responded to Larry, “I would hope she would not, and more than that, I would hope you would not ask that of her.”

Reading online this morning from The Discrimination of Women in Buddhism: An Ethical Analysis: “Men and women are considered the two wheels of a cart. They should be considered equal if we want the cart to move ahead. If one wheel is smaller than the other, the movement will definitely be impaired.”

One of the headings in that article leapt off the page: Is Buddhism a Sexist Religion?

I would also ask, Is Christianity a Sexist Religion?

Perhaps (blatant or latent) sexism, along with other forms of discrimation, is within all religions and all of our human history. It is HIStory, for heaven’s sake…. But where do we go from here? We only pretend to repair a cart with imbalanced wheel size by exchanging it for a different cart that also has an unbalanced wheel size.

The second writing that speaks us forth in love and wisdom and respect for all beings comes from Deep Spring Center for Meditation:

Thought for Today by Aaron

As we work with these practices, please realize that they are leading you in the direction of trusting your own ability not to enact anger or other negative movement when it arises. To hold it in the heart with compassion until it dissolves. To reclaim your power as higher density beings— no longer a third density human but higher density, able to trust that those around you will not be projecting negativity so it’s safe to share, and you will not be projecting negativity so it’s safe to share. But that you are still capable of saying, “No, I disagree with this or that.” That’s very different than expressing negativity. Expression of view is not an expression of negativity, it’s simply an expression of view. And we learn how to hold different views and deeply hear each other. Then one unified understanding arises and we move forward with it. Or, if one is not in full agreement, one sees that the rest of the group is and abstains from obstructing the process. But if one person thinks, “This will be totally destructive,” one will still hold, “I cannot agree. Go ahead and do what you need to do, but I dissent. But I dissent with love.”

I was just about ready to push “publish” when I received this additional confirmation from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation Thought for Today:

The wise person questions himself, the fool others. ~Henri Arnold

We pray for wisdom, and sometimes we achieve it. The strongest and wisest of men are not threatened by questioning their own answers. If we draw conclusions and blindly stick to them, we can never learn anything new. We have often made the mistake of avoiding the appearance of ignorance.

Instead, we are at our best when we give ourselves the privilege of being a learner. When someone tells us something we don’t understand or agree with, our best response is to ask for more information. We can take our ego out of the equation, surrender our need to be right, and simply try to learn what is being told to us. What is it that I don’t understand here? What does the other person see that I am missing? When we attain a moment of wisdom, we are open to learning.

Today, I will give myself the privilege of being a learner.

From the book Stepping Stones: More Daily Meditations for Men.

Once your intention is clear, perhaps the answer is also already clear!