Be Care-Full What You Pray For

Twenty nine years ago today, I became a grandmother. I was still thirty-something—at least I would be for two more weeks. My career was booming. I was top sales person in the nation. I was traveling to beautiful venues. I had long finger nails, and I wore nice clothing. I was too busy (and too young) to be a grand parent.

Although I did not yet know it, everything changed the moment I held Bradley Joseph Zelenak in my arms.

He was a little bit early, had jaundice, and his mom, Stacey, went home from the hospital without him. A few weeks later, he would go to the hospital by ambulance. I would watch his mother crawl into the big “crib” under the oxygen tent to be with him. I would walk down the hospital corridor with a lump in my throat and tears tricking down my cheek.

As with other dynamics of life, it is impossible to say what would have been if things had been different. Would I have still treasured every moment or might I have let the years slip by without awareness of the preciousness that is always present?

Say only, something clicked. Priorities were suddenly laid straight.

No sale was more important than watching him breath. We were blessed to have them live with us for about a month before my baby would leave Michigan, taking her baby to live in Tennessee.

I never felt a house so empty as the day we walked back into the house after watching their car back out of the driveway heading south.

From that moment forth, everything revolved around keeping our connection. Our vacation time was spent there. Holiday plans were around them. Even now, as snow birds flying from Michigan to Florida and back we think of it as going to see the kids.

I cannot say how differently I would view the world without the lens of being a grandmother to Bradley, but I can say this: Bradley changed my world. I am Gammie.

I say he opened my heart chakra. As fingers fly over the keys, a lump tightens my throat. Again tears form as, in my minds eye, almost three decades of precious memories dance. Things he said, places we went, experiences we shared.

Today, I breathe the fragrance of grace that allows me to have had this miracle in my life.

I am blessed with two other grandchildren, and each is loved beyond words. Bradley is like any first true love. He is the one who taught me to be care-full what you pray for.

Working in retail management, breaking fingernails and tearing holes in my stockings was an everyday occurrence. Yes, I wore pantyhose and heels to work 9-to-5! I read somewhere that you should write down a prayer, put it in a box, and forget about it. Years before I had written: “I want to wear nice clothes and have long finger nails.”

The day I opened the box and looked down at my hands, I was shocked. Not even remembering what I had written, I was living what I had prayed for.

Today, perhaps more mindfulness would go into everything I put in my prayer box to let God work the magic. Perhaps…