Are You Afraid?

This past Saturday night our daughter Stacey and her husband hosted a Bon Voyage-Slushy Party. Approximately 75 friends and family feasted on Doug’s pulled pork, beef brisket, and homemade Granny’s BBQ sauce.

Here is the crew starting to pull the pork:

Here is the morning after in the back yard, with barely any evidence of the partying that happened the night before:

Doug’s smoker has been sold, and regular readers of this blog know Stacey and Doug are about to pull up anchor and go on an adventure.

One question was asked of me sooooooo many times over the evening. “Are you afraid?” If I were the one going on this trip, I would be afraid. I am not afraid for Stacey or Doug.

The following is scheduled to be published in our local paper on Saturday, but many more readers have access to this blog so I am sharing it early.

Living Your Dreams

On October 3, 2019, our daughter, Stacey, turns 53 years old.

Four days later, she and her husband, Doug, are scheduled to be dropped off at a marina in Paris Landing, Kentucky. They plan to motor their 34-foot sailboat down to the Gulf of Mexico, sail across the Gulf of Mexico, sail around the Florida Keys, and then sail on to the British Virgin Islands where they will live on the boat for the next year or more.

They have spent over three years totally reconditioning the boat. This past April, they renamed her Lady Gail after our son-in-law’s mother. Our daughter never met her, but Gail lives on in Doug’s dream.

On October 7, 1919—exactly 100 years to the day before their planned departure date—Stacey’s paternal grandfather was born. Doug never met him, but Grandpa B too lives on in their dream.

During the ceremony to rename the boat, our grandson, Brad, and my husband, John, played guitar and sang along with our granddaughter, Courtney. The song, “Save Some Time to Dream,” by John Mellencamp, was a surprise.

The message of the song is powerful. Could it be that this is all there is? Could it be there’s nothing more at all? Save some time to dream. ‘Cause your dream could save us all.

Stacey cried. So did I.

A few years ago, Doug was diagnosed with atrial fibrillation (also called AFib or AF), a quivering or irregular heartbeat (arrhythmia) that can lead to blood clots, stroke, heart failure, and other heart-related complications. At least 2.7 million Americans are living with AFib.

This sailing adventure is major. It was scheduled for last year, but Doug ended up needing a major surgical procedure on his heart. Two cardiovascular surgeons worked simultaneously to perform an inside-outside cardiac ablation. We are so grateful it was totally successful!

So many people give up on their dreams.

A handwritten note with a quotation from Traveling with Pomegranates: A Mother and Daughter Journey, by New York Times bestselling author, Sue Monk Kidd, and her daughter, Ann Kidd Taylor, hangs on the side of my computer: “This is a really good idea. Before you dismiss it, remember how you felt when it came to you.”

Someone told Stacey she must really love sailing to do this. Stacey said, “Not really, but Doug really loves sailing, and I really love Doug.”

A plaque with the words of Mark Twain hangs in Lady Gail’s galley: Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do, so throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, inspirational writer and teacher, said, “Don’t die with your music still in you.”

Stacey and Doug’s living their dream encourages us all to live our dreams. During the time they are gone, I expect I will journal more about my experience of their being gone. It is so very tender.

Doug’s father lost a toe, a foot, and a leg last year—the result of a cut cuticle in a pedicure that could not heal due to diabetes.

This year, Stacey’s dad is working through some health stuff.

None of us are spring chickens. But we are all so proud of them.

So many people give up on their dreams.

Jana Stanfield sings:
What would I do if I knew that I could not fail
If I believed would the wind always fill up my sail
How far would I go, what could I achieve /Trusting the hero in me
If I were brave I’d walk the razor’s edge
Where fools and dreamers dare to tread
Never lose faith, even when losing my way
What step would I take today if I were brave
What would I do today if I were brave
What if we’re all meant to do what we secretly dream
What would you ask if you knew you could have anything
Like the mighty oak sleeps in the heart of a seed
Are there miracles in you and me
If I refuse to listen to the voice of fear
Would the voice of courage whisper in my ear
What would I do today if I were brave

In “Save Some Time to Dream” Mellencamp cautions not to let your time slip away. A man we met in Florida told us how wise Stacey and Doug are to do go on this trip now while they are young and strong enough. This friend had intended to take a very similar voyage to the one Stacey and Doug have planned. He waited until after he retired, but then his health prevented him from being able to sail. This past year, he sold his boat.

Stacey and Doug anticipate having to go back to work after this trip. And even if their time away might delay formal retirement, living their dream is worth it.

If you can refuse to listen to the voice of fear, what dream still lives in your heart?

Could it be that this is all there is? Could it be there’s nothing more at all? Save some time to dream. ‘Cause your dream could save us all.