5 Reflections

Those words were shared by me at the end of a tearful conversation with a dear friend. My friend was remorseful for having offended a family member. The situation is complicated because the person who had been upset is a sister-in-law, currently separated from my friend’s brother.

So many conversations of late lead my heart back again and again to the great Buddhist prayer, “May all beings come to the end of suffering. May all beings find peace.”

But peace is not found in a future filled with smooth sailing into the sunset. The end of suffering comes in not expecting life to be something other than what it is, and in knowing the truth that we are skilled enough to sit in the fire of our own or another person’s strong emotions.

At Oakwood retreat in October, John Orr wrote the 5 Reflections on the flip chart in the dining room.

When the phone call came through I was attending my online class with Aaron. I turned off my camera, took the call, feeling space for my friend, for myself, for all who are navigating rough emotional waters right now.

I hung up and logged back on to catch the end of the class. While I did not catch the entire exchange, I heard enough to know that the question was about what to do when you might have done harm to another. “You can forgive yourself for whatever was said or done that may or may not have created harm. You can resolve not to repeat such words or actions in the future, and then fully forgiving yourself. And now look at others who have done similar to you and fully forgive them. It is finished.”

I sent that brief clip to my friend, then left a voice message.

After listening to the clip, I got a call back. We talked a bit more, and as we were hanging up, I shared the C.S. Lewis quote. I felt a small laugh from both of us.

Peace would come.

Peace does come.

We have learned to make peace so conditional, but the peace that passes understanding is anything but conditional.

In a previous post, “If and When,” I mentioned Rupert Spira’s book, The Art of Peace and Happiness. He has an entire chapter titled “Our Essential Being is Peace Itself.”

Earlier tonight I had been suggesting another friend do some tapping (EFT) on the Universal Psychological Reversals to clear habit energies that are difficult.

Universal Psychological Reversals

I deeply and completely accept myself even with all my problems and
limitations.

I deeply and completely accept myself even if I want to keep this problem.

I deeply and completely accept myself even if I will continue to have this
problem.

I deeply and completely accept myself even if I don’t deserve to get over this
problem.

I deeply and completely accept myself even if it isn’t safe for me to get over
this problem.

I deeply and completely accept myself even if I will not do what is necessary to
get over this problem.

I deeply and completely accept myself even if getting over this problem will
not be good for me.

I deeply and completely accept myself even if getting over this problem will
not be good for others in my life.

I deeply and completely accept myself even if I have a unique block to getting
over my problem.

I deeply and completely accept myself even if I have a fear about how my life
will change if I get over this problem.

“We all know that peaceful states of the mind, body and world do not last and do not deliver the depth of peace that we truly desire. Only the peace that is inherent in our true nature can put an end to the longing that initiates and sustains so many of our activities and relationships.” ~ Rupert Spira, The Art of Peace and Happiness