the main event has always been the way you feel moment by moment,
because that’s what life is.”
Abraham-Hicks
Excerpted from: Syracuse, NY on October 17, 1996
On the afternoon of June 2, my sister called to break the news that the office space we share had to be vacated in one month! The landlord/owner had secured a long-term lease of the two adjacent office spaces—contingent upon being able to include our suite.
The phone rang just as I walked in the door from yoga and meditation. Not usually at Thursday’s class, that day I was there to hear some incredible stories about the way God works in the world. I, myself, had been able to share some “Sacred” stories, with my concluding statement, “I am learning to recognize that what we want already exists, we just need to trust until we can see it.”
Social media and the Internet have definite benefits; such as reuniting lost pets. See Max and the Web of Life and Found Dog if you love stories with happy endings.
If someone needs a car, has a car for sale, needs housing, has a room to share, wants to hire someone, or needs a job, the standard advice I give is to put it out there.
On the surface (mundane level), the last thing in the world I would have said I needed was to be locating appropriate office space and moving on such short notice. See The Truth About Healingfor details related to what had been happening in my life over the past month.
However, one of my treasured Hebrew Scriptures, found in the Christian Old Testament, is the story of Joseph and his coat of many colors. The significance of Joseph having that fancy coat, is based in a society jam-packed with hierarchy. Joseph was not the elder son—but he was his father’s favorite.
The finest was to be bestowed upon the eldest. When Joseph’s father dared to act from his heart rather than from the dictates of his culture, literally, all hell broke loose. Filled with jealousy and righteous indignation, Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery. They then broke their father’s heart by telling him his most beloved son was dead. They presented the offending coat, with an equally offending lie.
That was not the end of the story. Several years later, famine hit Israel. Joseph’s brothers came to Egypt desperate to buy grain. Imagine the shock when Joseph was the one in charge!
Terrified, desperate, guilty,fearing retribution for their actions, their fate was in Joseph’s hand, just as his fate had previously been in theirs. Joseph’s response? Love. Forgiveness. Gratitude.
“You meant it for ill, but God meant it for good.”
We could’ve been angry at our landlord, indignant, and stressed. We could have bemoaned the greed and bottom-line mentality with which business has often been conducted. Thankfully, like Joseph, we knew better. Gratefully, we were able to move through our feelings. We asked ourselves, “What might be possible in a new space?”
Working with other like-minded holistic health practitioners was what we wanted to experience! In the 18 months we had been at 1111 Main Street, I had asked several other holistic friends to come look at the available space. That vision of support and nurture found with colleagues resurfaced. Something rich and deep and precious also surfaced. My faith…
Precisely because of the increased mindfulness practice necessary to regain balance and alleviate the symptoms of panic I had been experiencing since May 1, I coached my own inner being through this situation with the attention, deliberation, and will-to-win of Sparky Anderson. (George Lee “Sparky” Anderson was a Major League Baseball player and manager. He managed the National League’s Cincinnati Reds to the 1975 and 1976 championships, then added a third title in 1984 with the Detroit Tigers of the American League.)
I posted on Facebook, and sent word of our search for space to the email lists I manage. I wrote directly to two colleagues who had previously come to see the space we were now leaving but decided it was not right for them.
Becky Laney, a friend who is also an SCS/NLP graduate, saw my email. “You might want to take a look at 815 Main Street. New owner, new carpet, new paint.” Is it possible to move forward by going back? I was willing to entertain that idea. Sunday morning, Jane and I walked through the space. It was amazing!
Monday afternoon, another friend, Jane Oelke (Homeopathy and Naturopathy), and I walked through with my sister Janis Smith, and my brother-in-law, Larry Britton. They are both Licensed Massage Therapists, and we have been sharing a suite since October, 2014. Laura Leemaster, another SCS program graduate who works as a Social Worker, and dear friend, Nancy Green, joined us for the tour.
When Jane and Laura both expressed desire to have the one room with a window, difficult emotions triggered habit patterns within me: wanting to please; desiring everyone’s needs to be met; feeling responsible; anxious about the outcome; not knowing how it would work out.
Second thoughts, trying to control, feeling desperate…. These uncomfortable feelings were very familiar and very painful. It is not helpful to criticize yourself for how you navigated challenging times previously. I affirmed, “When I am afraid, I deserve more love not less.” (Whatever Arises, Love That, by Matt Kahn.)
Despite a half-dozen text messages to her Monday night, I still had no word back from Jane on Tuesday morning. Knowing how emotions affect health and well-being, I knew finding inner peace was absolutely vital. Something had to move, so I went for a bike ride!
“Breathing and riding my bike; sensations in my body; thinking.” That mantra kept me company for miles. Memories flooded in. A summer evening walking in a nearby neighborhood—well after dark to avoid the sweltering heat—and my husband’s comment, “Just face it, Deb, you are never going to make a living doing Healing Touch™.” Riding home, I experienced profound forgiveness for him, yes, but more importantly, for myself for losing faith in the Divine within me.
In that memory, I witnessed the anger and outrage that had been stored in my body. The anger and outrage that caused me to stomp my right foot down hard enough to rattle the fillings in my teeth, as I defiantly declared, “I will so make a living doing Healing Touch™!”
At the time, I did not realize John had expressed his fear that the world was not yet ready for my gifts of energy healing. I did not yet know the importance of saying “No!” from a place of love. I had not yet been blessed to study with Barbara Brodsky and Aaron. The saying that resentment is like eating rat poison and expecting the rat to die was still just words to my intellect.
Truly comprehending what Abraham-Hicks calls “vibrational alignment of you with you” as the only thing we can really control was still in my future.
From the moment my sister called saying we needed to move our office, I meditated, rubbed sage oil on the bottoms of my feet to get grounded, listened to guided meditations, soaked in the bathtub with essential oils, drew oracle cards, and wrote in my journal.
I blessed the anti-anxiety medication (antihistamine).
I would forgive myself, over and over, each time I would feel primitive brain activate the fight-or-flight response and flood my body with fear.
I recalled meaningful mantras, and I used them to I breathe life back into my innocent being with compassionate words:
“I am one with my I AM Presence.”
“When I have not met my own standard, I deserve more love not less.”
“Breathing and ______; sensations in my body; thinking.”
Riding my bike, balancing past, present, and future, I was being reborn. The magic in me was a profoundly cellular knowing. I blurted out, “I believe in me!” Just as I did, I saw a wadded up garment on the side of the road. The previous week, I had found a pair of golf shorts—in John’s size, still with the tags on them. I parked my bike and walked back to the garment, flipped it over, and saw the words: Just Do It!
Arriving home from my ride, I called John. We make decisions that involve tens of thousands of dollars together. Was he approving my signing the lease, trusting the right people would come together to make it work? “I believe you’ll do all right,” he said.
Seven minutes after I sent a text message to the owner of the building telling him I would lease the space, Jane called! She had taken detailed measurements of her current office, and was meeting her daughters to see how she could make the new space work.
If LIFE could deliver all of this in five days, just think what greater blessings are possible!
(Note: As I began writing this article, I found an audio recording of a dream I had on 11/9/13. It is amazing that LIFE never gives up on us. Listen to the audio summary of that dream, titled Surrender the Fear, by clicking on my face.)
