Look around you at those who say no to war, who say that force is not the only way, and see that many of those spokespersons are using force to try to make their point; not force of violence but a force of confrontation that cannot compassionately hear others. Here is where you have special power, the power to speak to those whose view is close to yours but have not yet learned to overcome their fear-based attachment to opinions.~ Aaron
“Are you sure enough to be unsure,” is a question asked in NLP to force a collapse of logical levels:
- Are you sure?
- Are you absolutely sure?
- Are you sure enough to be unsure?
When you are absolutely sure, you typically don’t question your certainty. If you are certain, for example, that today is Tuesday, when you are asked “Are you sure enough to be unsure,” the question opens the possibility of doubt, and you will probably check your calendar if only to prove to the other person that today really is Tuesday.
There are very few absolutes. What we typically consider absolutes are not necessarily absolute. Water usually freezes at 32 F and boils at 212 F most of the time, but a change in elevation changes that—as those living in high-altitude cities learned a long time ago. All things considered, the universe is fairly consistent in what is “true.” Most arguments, however, are based on differences in belief rather than on the physical aspects of the universe that can be measured in accepted ways. While scientists sometimes get into heated exchanges about the correctness of one theory over another, they typically use measurable details from the external environment as proof: they usually measure and weigh rather than yell and scream. They are more attached to process than they are to outcome.
Most of us, however, accept our beliefs as valid regardless of the external evidence. This seems especially true when it comes to religion and politics. When you are sure enough to be unsure, you check the external evidence to confirm or counter your belief. Most people, however, never question their attachment to a belief. In fact, they don’t even think of their belief as a belief. They think of it as an absolute truth.
Dr. Bruce Lipton, author of The Biology of Belief, describes the human experience of the “Programmable Mind” as thoughts, beliefs, and actions being truly conscious only 5% of the day. Babies are not born with beliefs. We are programmed by our culture, including our societal values and religious beliefs. Essentially 95% of the time humans’ hopes, fears, desires, and wishes come from the default program that resides in our subconscious minds. Under stress or duress we are essentially controlled by this programming.
So how can we shed our negative programming and create more from our wishes and desires when we live in a high-stress culture? First, we have to notice.
In Buddhism the practice is to observe our own attachment. “Attachment” in this sense of the word refers to something desired, a “must have” element that robs us of objectivity. It is, however, much easier to see when someone else has lost objectivity than to recognize “attachment” in ourselves. Related terms include frozen evaluation, an assessment that does not change over time, having a “closed mind,” and being unwilling to accept new evidence.
One of the most interesting dynamics is the way two people can consider the other attached without the awareness of their own fixed positions. And it is not just two people. The same dynamic influences not only political parties and national affiliations, but all other loyalties (states, corporations, unions, and families).
When we bring mindfulness to our own lives, we begin to consciously create the future we desire by our thoughts, words, and actions. Simple language patterns are very influential. Observe the different nuances between saying “As individuals are able to challenge their own most closely held beliefs, societies will be more mindful as well,” and using if or when to begin the sentence. When we speak from the heart and in the language of the soul—a language of trust, faith, and higher value; of inner growth, love, and listening—we open the door to possibilities. We become sure enough to be unsure, and that opens the door to increasing possibilities.