The old saying is, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names can never hurt me.” It isn’t true, however. Sometimes names are the most hurtful of injuries, leading to shame and embarrassment that last much longer than any associated physical injury. Another very old saying is, “Actions speak louder than words.” While generally true, it isn’t an absolute. Sometimes I wonder why more of what we say and do isn’t directed at being kinder to one another, Notice how much of human history is dedicated to war and how little is actually dedicated to peace.
The old song is “Ain’t Goin’ to Study War No More,” but it is very hard to get away from the “study” of war. One of the ironies is that the “study” of peace actually ends up being the “study” of war. If people wanted to just “do” peace, they would/could just “do” peace. Instead, they have to look for ways not to “do” war. I may be the only regular reader of the Beyond Mastery Newsletter who has actually been to war. I am a Vietnam veteran. I spent three years in the U.S. Army during the war in Vietnam, and spent a year of that in Vietnam.
I was one of the lucky ones who was never close to actual combat. But I know what it was like to be in a combat zone, and to need to watch carefully where I walked to ensure that I didn’t step on an “IED” (Improvised Explosive Device) buried along one of the paths the U.S. soldiers used on the way to the “Mess Hall” or to the latrine.
The week before I arrived “in country,” one of the soldiers in my unit had stepped on an “IED” and lost a leg as a result. Soldiers in the company needed to be aware that they were in a combat zone and that “the enemy” was constantly looking for ways to kill or injure U.S. troops. I didn’t meet Debra until long after I had returned from Vietnam, so in some ways she doesn’t know who I was before I met her.
Does spending time in a combat zone change a person? I think so. One of the problems is, of course, finding those who have been in combat zones and NOT been in combat zones. My sense is that being in a combat zone changes the way people look at things. People who have never been in a combat zone simply see things differently from those who have been in a combat zone. My father saw combat in WWII, and his advice to me before I went to Vietnam was to find “an experienced sergeant” and stick with him when we were attacked.
My father and one of his friends had been having lunch while sitting on a log. They were strafed by a Japanese fighter and fell on opposite sides of the log. My father’s friend was killed. My father was unhurt.
I was one of the lucky ones. I spent almost a year in Vietnam during “the war,” and although I did not experience actual combat, I was constantly aware of where we were and what could happen next. I was definitely glad to leave Vietnam when my turn came. Some of those I called “friends” never made it back to the States. I well understand why people don’t want to “study war” any more.